Indulgence (51 page)

The men pulled up to Hank’s house, but Ollie suggested I
stay in the car. I did what they said, not really caring what happened next.

Visions of Hank smiling, calling me Angel, making love to
me, tortured my thoughts. His laugh, the way his body seemed to glow after he
took a shower burned into memory. His silly nicknames for everyone in my life,
including me. How he fought with Gustav, and the taste of his skin first thing
in the morning … pure bliss. The welcome home kiss at the end of each day that
stopped my heart from beating. The way he cupped my cheeks and groaned into my
mouth as if there was no place he’d rather be when he’d first press his solid
length into me. All gone. Fuck. It was too much.

All too soon I was being lifted and moved into another car.
A taxi. Bags were being tossed into the back hurriedly. The men settled into
the cab, Dean in front, Ollie in back holding me close. Dean’s phone was
ringing off the hook. Ollie was screaming orders into his cell phone.

“You better be at her fucking jet in three hours or you’re
fired, Captain!” He hung up. Ollie ran his fingers through is hair. It was as
unruly as I’d ever seen it. The man was worried about me. Dean’s phone started ringing
again.

“Oh, God, please just answer the phone.” I croaked and
leaned my head against the cool window pane.

“We’re leaving.” He paused. “Don’t even think about it,
Partner!” He breathed deep through his nose. “Safe, don’t worry.” Dean’s tone
held a scary edge to it.

“Yeah, well you should of fucking thought about that before
you decided to kiss your ex. Asshole!” Dean hung up and the tears welled again.
Just when I thought I had controlled them for a moment they scuttled down my
face. I just let them fall.

She sobbed against my chest. I tried the best I could,
saying anything, everything that would calm the woman down. Susie was special
to me. She
was.
I shushed her, patted her back, held her until her lips
trailed up my neck and before I knew what was happening her lips were on mine.
The feel of her mouth; wet, warm, and familiar. It wasn’t what I wanted, what I
craved. My arms flew out and almost shoved the woman from my chest.

“What the fuck are you doing, Susie!”

“Hank, you want it as badly as I do! I can feel it. Don’t
fight it. We’re both free now. We can be together again. Raise that family you
want so badly!”

“No, Susie. We can’t go back. I can never go back. You took
something from me and I’ll never forgive you. Never.” The anger that boiled in
me from ten years past bubbled to the surface and spilled over. “I don’t
fucking love you. Maybe at one time I did, but that was a long time ago. I have
everything I could ever want or need now!”

“She won’t be what you need her to be, Hank. She’s not capable
of it!” Her voice was scathing and jilted. The cry of a desperate woman. It
sickened me to see what she’d become.

“Don’t you get it? She’s what I need. The woman she is. Yes,
she’s a city girl, and damned if I ever thought I’d fall for a woman that was
all kinds of wrong. But you know what, Susie? It’s so right. When I’m with her
there’s nothin’ else, and I want to be that man for her. Only her.”

“No, Hank. Please, please give us a second chance,” she
begged. I shook my head and turned on my heel to find my Angel. I’d been gone a
long time and she must be panicked or drunk by now. The thought of my Angel
tipsy, laughing those sweet laughs, hanging out with her best buddy and his
watchdog of a man tickled me to no end. They were my new family now and that
gave me great joy. Gave me hope. That door to the past was shut forever. It
couldn’t hurt me anymore.

I made my way through the throngs of people, searching for
my Angel in white but she was nowhere to be seen. Then I realized that neither
were Dean or Oliver. I enlisted my brother and his wife to help me find them.
The property was big but they couldn’t have gotten far. We checked the house,
the yards, the stables, the barn, nothing. Until Old Man Henry finally came up
to me.

“Boy, didn’t you drive your truck here?”

It dawned on me that when I checked the front I hadn’t come
across my truck. It was gone along with my girl and her two friends.
What in
the hell was going on?

Aspen had left her phone back at the ranch so I didn’t
bother calling it. Oliver’s line repeatedly went to voicemail, so I called
Dean.

Dean answered after several attempts. “Dean, what’s going
on, where are you? Where’s Aspen?”

“We’re leaving.” His voice was cold, very unlike the
smooth-talking fella I was used to.

“What the hell do you mean, you’re leavin’? What’s going on?
Just stay at the ranch, I’ll jump in my brother’s truck.”

“Don’t even think about it, partner!” Dean’s voice was
angry, madder than hell, and I hadn’t the slightest idea why.

“Dean, where is she?” I begged.

“Safe, don’t worry.”

“Don’t tell me not to worry about the woman I love, Dean!” I
screamed into the phone.

“Yeah, well you should have fucking thought about that
before you decided to kiss your ex. Asshole!” The line went dead, and so did my
heart.

I threw the phone down to the grass and looked up at the
heavens. “FUCK!” I screamed and my brother came running over.
Oh God in
Heaven, NO!

“Did you find her?” Heath, Ma, and Jess were at my side in a
second.

“She’s gone!” I closed my eyes and let the fear swim a
circle around my body then rush in waves over every pore.

“What in the dickens do you mean, she’s gone?”

“Christ, Ma, I messed up. I messed up bad.” My shoulders
sagged and she pulled me into her arms.

“Oh, Punky, no. Tell me what happened. You know your Mama
can fix anythin’,” she cooed.

“Not this time. I’ve lost her.”

Dean’s words screamed through my head like a high powered
locomotive.

“You should have fucking thought about that before you
decided to kiss your ex. Asshole!”

She knew. I don’t know how or why, I just know that she
found out about the conversation Susie and I had. She knew about the kiss. What
she needed to know was that it wasn’t what she thought. That I loved and wanted
her.
Only
her.

“Give me your keys, Heath!”

“No way, Hank. You’re in no place to drive,” he warned.

“Give me the goddamned KEYS!” I roared at my brother.

“Settle down. I’ll drive!” he screamed. “Take care of the
kids and Jess, Ma!” Heath hollered over his shoulder as we ran as fast as our
boots would take us, hopping in the truck and heading to my girl. I prayed that
I could talk some sense into her. Losing the best thing that had ever happened
to me was not in my cards. It just couldn’t be. I’d fix it and fix it fast!
She’d listen. God willing, she’d listen.

They were nowhere to be found when we arrived; lock, stock,
and smokin’ barrel at the ranch. I ran through the house like a horse at full
gallop, but there was nothin’ for me to find. They’d left. My truck haphazardly
parked in the driveway, the back door still wide open. They’d left in a hurry,
and with the kind of money and a private jet that my Angel owned, there was no
luck she’d be waiting at the airport.

Heath gripped my shoulder and patted my back. “What
happened, bro? Why’d your girl high-tail it outta here?”

I explained the whole story to him over several beers. At
least my brother had the decency to see me through it, let me talk it out. I
told him everything about Susie and our past, shit he’d never known. When I
left Susie all those years ago, they all thought it was because I’d lost
interest or she cheated. I’d never told anyone the real reason. The one thing I
couldn’t forgive her for. The reason why I’d left.

Heath took his hat off and pushed his fingers through his
hair, repeatedly shaking his head. Butch pushed through the screen door and sat
on my feet then leaned his furry body against my leg. His head provided a
welcomed comfort against my thigh. Man’s best friend for sure.

“I had no idea, bro. Sayin’ sorry doesn’t seem quite good
enough.” He took a long pull from his beer and I followed suit.

“Nope, it doesn’t. I still can’t believe she pushed to get
me back, and because of her, the one fucking woman that’d hurt me the most, I’m
losing the best thing I’ve ever had. She’s taking her away from me too, bro.”

“Nah, you’ll get her back. You just got to talk to her. Tell
her about what happened with Susie way back. Then tell her about what you think
she already saw, but explain your side.” He paused and then looked at me.
“Aspen’s it for you. I knew the second I saw you huggin’ on her. You treat her
like there is no other woman in the world. Just like my Jess. She’s my only.
She’s my life. Aspen’s yours.” I nodded. There was no denying that. He
continued, “Even if she is a fancy city girl from NYC. We don’t get to choose who
makes us right, Hank.”

“No we don’t. But I’m going to do it right this time. I’m
going all in. She admitted she loved me. Fuck! That was just last night, bro,
and I’ve already screwed it up!” My arms physically ached to hold my Angel. I
needed to bury my face in the crook of her warm neck, smell her vanilla
goodness and taste her honey lips and body. Only then would everything be right
again.

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I’m going back to the job I started. Doc said I could go
back to desk work and manning the jobsite as long as I didn’t do any of the
lifting or physical work.”

“Okay, then what?”

“Then I’m going to start putting in for loans to get the
capital I need to expand Jensen Construction.”

“You could always sell your half of the family ranch. That
would give you the funding you need,” he offered. I loved my brother more in
that moment than I ever did before. He’d be willing to have to deal with an
outside party owning half his company to help me. To make me happy.

“Not ever gonna happen. That’s for Jensen’s only. No way, no
how, would I ever sell my half of our family business. Our kids will be gettin’
the ranch one day. You hear me?” He nodded.

“I will tell you, though, that I have some options with
Oliver. If he’ll talk to me.” I sighed. “He had some good ideas, but I’d have
to buckle down and be humble to it.” I’d gnawed the inside of my cheek to
painful proportions thinking this plan through.

“Hank, you do what you have to do to get your girl. And when
you do, you never let her go. You hear what I’m sayin’? Never!”

Marriage. I’d known the second I looked into those clear
blue eyes that day she’d hovered over me, a pipe ripping through my shoulder,
that she was the one. The universe—the heavens, whatever—had seen to giving me
an Angel in white. Oh, how I loved to see her in white. I’d damn near do
anything and everything to see her walk toward me in a perfect white dress, to
bind her to me for all eternity. Fate was on my side. I had to believe that
above all else.

“Up and at ‘em, Princess!” Oliver’s voice ripped through my
sleep, shattering the perfect dream I was having. Hank and I were in a meadow,
having a picnic. It was lovely. The comforter was shrewdly yanked from my form
curled around the halo of warmth and solace.

“Enough of this!” Oliver sat down and patted my bare hip.
“You’re killing yourself. Why don’t you just talk to him?” It was the same damn
question, every damned day.

“You know why, Ollie. Stop asking. I mean it this time.” As
much as my broken heart didn’t want to admit, Hank and I were over. Finito! The
last few weeks had been pure, utter hell, but the end had to be in sight,
somewhere.

“Pen, I can’t see you do this to yourself anymore. You went
from comatose to an evil bitch. Do you realize you’ve fired three people since
the shit hit the fan with Ha—?”

“Don’t! Don’t even fucking mention his name.” I breathed
deep, in through my nose, out through my mouth counting to ten.

“I’m worried about you. I’ve never seen you like this. The
front room looks like a fucking memorial with all the flowers Hank has sent.
You spent a week in bed, then the last two weeks you’ve been a tyrant. I don’t
like who you’ve become.”

“Then why don’t you just leave!” My tone scared me. I’d
never had so much as a fight with Oliver in our eight-year friendship.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Maybe I do.” Tears welled in my eyes.

“Well it’s a good thing for you that I don’t give a shit
what you say right now. You’re not in your right mind. You’re sick. And the
only thing that will make you better is tall, tanned, and can ride a horse and
you,” he pointed an arrogant finger and dropped it on my nose in a playful
stab, “into next week!”

A full-bellied laugh bubbled to the surface, pushing through
all the sorrow and heartache. God, I loved Oliver. He knew me sometimes better
than I knew myself. If only love were so easy; I’d be rich in more ways than
one.

“He cheated and he’s meant to be with his first love.” The
tears ran down my face. “We’re just too different. Our lifestyles can’t work.
Don’t you see that?” I tried to make him see what was so clear to me.

He didn’t buy it.

“The only thing I see is a heartbroken woman who I love more
than anything. And that woman loves a cowboy from Texas, who loves her in
return. Please, just give him a chance. He hasn’t given up on you. He’s sent
flowers and notes every day. He’s back at the jobsite and well … I’ve uh … ” Oh
no, this was not good. If quick-talking Ollie was stuttering, he’d done
something. Something I wouldn’t like.

“Spit it out. What the hell did you do?”

He actually had the self-respect to look openly guilty.
“I’ve talked to him. I, uh, I’ve talked to him pretty much every day for the
last two weeks. But—”

“You traitor! You’re Judas!” I screamed and threw myself out
of the bed. It was Saturday, but I was going to get ready and get the heck out
of here. Maybe I’d go to work. There was always something that needed to be
done there.