Infatuated (28 page)

Wordlessly, and as fast as I could, I typed another message.
Not @ home. Dont come. Dont want to see you. Not now or ever.

He replied within a minute with only four words:
Be there in 10.

CHAPTER 22

E
arl slammed the phone down. “Well, this definitely wasn’t part of the plan.” He pushed up from his seat and paced a short, angry line. “So, you either get rid of him or two people disappear tonight. Two raises more questions than one, especially considering the breakup.” He kept pacing, talking to himself more than me. “Okay. It’s not ideal, but I can work with this. You’re going to answer the door when he comes and you’re going to do whatever you have to do to get him to leave or I’m gutting you both on the spot. Tip him off and I’ll gut you both on the spot. He tries to come in… You get the idea.”

I nodded. “I’ll—I’ll get rid of him.” I wouldn’t let Kale die with me or because of me. And if I was going to die tonight, at least I’d see his face before I went.

Earl untied me. The pain in my right arm had me whimpering and clutching it to my chest. My clothes were bloody and my arm was swollen with a lump the size of a softball on the bicep. He made me put on his jacket on to cover up and I almost puked having anything of his on me, touching my skin. It smelled like death.

He pulled rags and bleach out of his bag, muttering as he started to clean the blood off the floor.

I sat quietly, fading in and out, trying to force my breathing back to normal. If Kale saw me upset, he’d ask questions, wouldn’t he? Just because we weren’t together, it didn’t mean he didn’t care. Did it? I almost hoped so. It’d be easier to get rid of him that way.

When Kale knocked on the bar door ten minutes later, I almost broke down and yelled for him to run. The only thing that stopped me was the knowledge that he wouldn’t. It wasn’t in his nature to run. He’d barge in and get himself killed.

“Remember what I said,” Earl told me, tone harsh, waving the blood-coated knife in front of me.

Kale knocked on the door again and this time shouted, “Open the damn door, Ally!”

Earl made an angry motion at me and followed me. He stood just to the side, almost behind it, as I opened the door.

It’d barely opened an inch before I heard Kale say, “I love you, Ally, I’m sorry.”

I flinched and nearly broke down again. I’d wanted to hear those words for weeks—maybe even longer—and he wouldn’t give them to me. And now…now that I wasn’t sure I’d see tomorrow, he offered them without being asked.

Fate was a bitch. A twisted, cold-hearted bitch.

Earl, either sensing my indecision or just wanting to give me a reminder, poked the knife in my side. Not hard, just enough to get his message across.

It did and it forced my head up high. I couldn’t save myself, I knew and accepted that. But I could save Kale. I
would
save Kale, even if I had to hurt him to do it.

“It’s too late, Kale.” The words came out strong, even though they nearly killed me to say. They nearly killed me because they were true.

“No, it’s not. We can—” His gaze zeroed in on my face. “What happened to you?”

When he reached for me, I jerked away. My legs were weak and I had to hold the doorframe to keep from falling. “You care now?” I laughed bitterly. “You couldn’t be bothered to say two words to me for the last three weeks, but now you care? You couldn’t be bothered responding when I texted you last week, but now you want to know what’s going on with me? Now that I’m minutes away from actually leaving,
now
you care?”

Now it was him who flinched. “I was an idiot. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it. I gave you my love and you were too stupid to even believe it. So guess what? I don’t believe you now. God, why would you wait until the day I’m leaving to tell me that? Breaking my heart wasn’t enough, now you want to hurt me more? Knowing you did that wasn’t enough, now you want to see it in person?” The words poured out of me, painfully, bitterly. I was so angry. At life, at him. Everything hurt and ached, and my heart broke all over again, piece by piece.

“I—”

“What? I’ll be gone in less than an hour. Laura’s moving into my place tomorrow, Max has most of my stuff. I’m done, Kale,” I said, my voice going soft because I couldn’t get any more force behind it. His mouth opened, but I kept going. “It’s too late. You had your chance and you let it pass. You let it slip through your fingers. My life here is over—we’re over.” I couldn’t move my arm, so I tried shutting the door with my foot.

Kale’s arm shot out and he pushed it back open an inch. I hissed in pain as it bumped my arm but he saw it as anger. “Where’s your car?”

I felt rather than saw Earl move closer. “I parked it somewhere else. I didn’t want—” My voice nearly broke. “I didn’t want Earl to see, in case he was still around.”

He nodded, face impassive, and took a step back.

“Anyway, I need to go. I’m leaving Dave a note about where he can find the bar key and then I’m leaving.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“No!” I forced my tone back to normal. “I don’t want to see you anymore. I texted to avoid exactly this.” My eyes heated and I let out a loud breath. “Just do me a favor, okay? Look after Laura.”

He studied me hard for a minute and I wanted so badly to say a hundred different things, to tell him I loved him. To tell him to run. To live, to love.

“I will,” he said finally.

“Thank you. Now go home, Kale, where you belong. And next time?” I waited until his eyes were on mine, until I could see the blue and green in them clearly. “Don’t wait so fucking long to tell someone how you feel, because you might not get a second chance.” His eyes flashed with pain and I slammed the door in his face.

My heart broke, because I didn’t tell him I loved him—I’d been too afraid to risk it.

It broke because he’d finally said the words that I’d been wanting to hear.

It broke because I’d meant every painful thing I’d said.

And somehow, at the same time, I felt free because Kale was gone and he’d be safe.

Earl relocked the door and motioned me back to the chair. I went without argument. If I fought too hard, things would only end badly for the people in my life. Kale. Laura. Max. Dave.

Sobs tore from me again, and this time, I could do nothing to stop them. This time, I didn’t care to. I couldn’t believe this was how things were going to end. I was so angry at everything and I didn’t want to die like that. I wanted to be strong, to not have any regrets, to not be bitter. But I wasn’t strong, I did have regrets, and I was bitter.

I was terrified. Life wasn’t fair. It was cruel and harsh and cold.

I regretted working tonight and not leaving weeks ago.

I regretted telling Kale I loved him, and then I regretted not telling him more, every waking second I had with him.

And the bitterness, god the bitterness.
I love you, Ally, I’m sorry
. They were the sweetest words I could remember hearing in my life and they were the words that hurt more than anything else ever had. Like being stabbed with a hundred knives at the same time, in the same place, over and over.

This was how I was going to die. Bitter. Alone. Regretful.

I wasn’t ready to die and I didn’t want to. And the only thing that gave me any comfort—the only thing that gave me even a small amount of peace—was knowing Kale wouldn’t die with me. If I had to die bitter and resentful, at least I could die happy with that knowledge. He’d watch out for Laura, too. She’d be okay.

They would be okay.

I took a deep breath and tried to force my eyes to dry. I could focus on that, couldn’t I? That the man I loved would live. What more could I ask for?

Even the pain was lessening by the second. I was colder, but less pain was infinitely better.

Earl peered out the window, as though making sure Kale was really gone. He turned back a few minutes later and his were eyes dark again.

My eyelids were heavy and all I could do was blink. I was cold, shivering so hard my body shook and my teeth knocked together. A cold sweat broke out over my skin. I could feel thumping inside my own chest. Slow but hard.
Thump
, and then a few seconds would pass,
thump thump
.

Earl’s hand clasped the shoulder of the jacket and he yanked me to my feet. “Let’s go.”

My legs were weaker than I could ever remember them being and standing only made them shake more. Something cold and sticky crept down the outside of my leg. The scent of my blood was stronger now.

He tried jerking me up again when my legs gave out. “What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? Let’s go!”

Dimly, I felt him pulling at me, but I could do nothing to stop it. I couldn’t feel anything. My vision started to go dark around the edges. Earl’s blurry face appeared in front of mine. His lips moved angrily as he shouted at me, but I could only stare up at him.

There was a crash and Earl dropped me. My head bounced off the ground, there was a flash of pain, and my eyes drifted shut. I thought I heard my name, so I tried opening them again. I saw Earl, knife raised, looming over me.

But I thought I saw Kale behind him, waiting, surrounded by bright lights.

My Kale. My Mr. Right.

I let the thought carry me over.

CHAPTER 23

G
radually, painfully, my eyes opened to darkness. My eyelids felt like sandpaper, scratching against my corneas. I tried lifting my hand but couldn’t get it to move. Was this heaven? Should heaven hurt? Because everything did. I couldn’t move anything, but I
felt
everything; something tickled my nose, my ribs throbbed, my side burned with the slightest movement. And the dull but painfully persistent throb behind my eyes like little firecrackers going off inside my brain.

One hand was trapped, though I didn’t know under what, so I tried moving the other one again. I got it as far as my stomach and groaned at the pain.

Why did everything involve pain?

“Ally?”

Slowly, I turned my head toward the voice.

“Ally! Open your eyes, Ally.”

The voice sounded familiar but…off, somehow. Low. Rough. I frowned, the movement pulling at my head and making the firecrackers go off again full force. And then I remembered.

Earl.

Not heaven. Hell.

My heart started to pound again so hard I thought it’d burst. A scream lodged in the back of my throat. Tears burned my eyes. I groaned deep and struggled to move. Pain shot through every inch of me and had nausea rolling in my stomach, but I kept fighting. Hands went to my shoulders, holding me down, and I punched whatever I could reach.

“Jesus, Ally. Stop! You’re going to—”

“No!”

“It’s Kale. It’s Kale. Open your eyes and look at me, Ally Cat.”

Ally Cat.

My eyes snapped open. There was only a small amount of light but it was enough to illuminate Kale’s blurry face.

Kale, not Earl.

I stopped struggling and shuddered. My breath came out in harsh gasps, each one was like being engulfed in flames from the inside out, searing my ribs, my lungs.

“Slow your breathing, Ally,” he said, his tone low and soothing. He kept his eyes on mine, never blinking. He sat beside me and picked up my hand. “Focus on me.”

I did and stared into his eyes. They were red and glassy. His face was pale, there were circles under his eyes, and I’d never seen him with so much scruff on his face. “Look like shit,” I said, my voice hoarse and whisper quiet.

He laughed a harsh laugh and dropped his head to my chest. I felt him shudder and watched the way it wracked his body. “I’ve missed your voice.” His tone was as harsh as his laugh.

Why was he here?

And… Where was here?

I glanced around, spotted machines and poles. “Hospital?”

Slowly, he lifted his head. His eyes were darker now. “Yes.”

If I was in a hospital, then… “Where is—” I couldn’t say the name.

His teeth clamped down. “Here, in the hospital. The police shot him when he—well, they shot him.” An angry look crossed his face. “He’ll live, but—”