Inferno Anthology (60 page)

We took our place out on the dance floor, moving to the beat as people all around us danced, made out and were practically having sex on the dance floor. If only
Be My Baby
by the Ronettes was playing, it would be like the opening credits of
Dirty Dancing
.

Easton and I danced for hours, taking breaks here and there to grab something to eat from the buffet, a flute of champagne or just take a break and rest my throbbing feet that were in the same silver heels I wore the first night on the cruise.

Over the night, I lost track of Nicole and Avery. They probably were in the room, enjoying their final night together on the cruise. No one knew what
real life
would be like once we were off the ship.

I stole glances at Easton as we danced. We both smiled, enjoying each other for one more night and I didn’t want it to end.

What fairy tale do you ever want to end?

“You know this isn’t goodbye, right?” Easton whispered in my ear.

I leaned back, looking into his eyes. “I know,” I nodded.

It was like he could read my mind. What if it was goodbye? What if Easton was
my
temporary acquaintance?

Easton

F
or the past fifteen years of my life, I had been hiding my feelings with sex. When I was a horny teenager, I hid fights with my parents, losing baseball games, and failing classes by fooling around with chicks. Sex was my way to get my mind off everything that caused stress in my life.

When Dana and I got married, most of the reason why I cheated on her was because we fought all the time. We were just not meant to be together, but I felt stuck because we had Cheyenne and I wanted to give her the perfect family. I was a fuck up and turned to sex and women to forget about Dana and my Peanut. To forget about making the perfect family.

The day Dana died, I called my attorney, Allison, and met her at her house when my parents and Cheyenne were asleep at mine. I fucked her to hide the hurt I was feeling with Dana dying and leaving me to raise Cheyenne on my own. I fucked her to hide the anger I had towards the old man that ran a red light and plowed into her. I fucked her to forget for thirty minutes—but that’s as long as it lasted. Allison and I kept our relationship going until the day I moved to New York. And by relationship, I mean we just fucked. She thought we were a couple, but I knew all along that she was temporary. I didn’t want another wife, I just needed to hide my pain.

By the time Cheyenne and I moved to New York, my heart was healing, but I was still hiding my feelings and stress by hooking up with chicks. I didn’t always fuck them, but I always got off. I needed the release and the distraction. I didn’t have a job when we moved and I was stressed about money and providing for my Peanut. I took modeling gigs and fucked around with those girls to distract myself once again.

Foreplay and orgasms made me forget.

I had never gone more than seven nights without a blowjob or at least a handjob. There was always someone I could find to suck my dick, but these last six days I hadn’t needed to hide anything. Brooke didn’t make me forget, she helped me see how my life should be and how I was selfish for not raising Cheyenne in a stable household.

My life should have Brooke in it—
forever
.

Of course, having her sleeping in the same room as me was killing my morning wood. I woke up every day to Brooke’s green eyes. She would catch me staring at her—or her staring at me and then she would smile. Fuck, her smile made my dick hard every time. I was going crazy. My head wouldn’t stop talking to me about how the cruise was coming to an end and Brooke may walk out of my life forever. Who knows what Avery and Nicole would end up doing, but I needed Brooke in my life.

She was turning into my best friend, but there was something in my heart that knew I needed her to be more. I couldn’t move on and go back to New York and never show her how much I wanted her. I didn’t want her just for sex and I was trying every day to show her that I wanted more, but I really didn’t know how to show her. I hadn’t been in a committed relationship in a long time, but she had opened up my eyes to show me what I had been missing.

Her.

I don’t usually believe in love at first sight, but since the moment I saw her on the first day of the cruise, I hadn’t looked at another girl. Hadn’t wanted to fuck another girl. Hadn’t wanted to hide anything with my normal ways of distracting myself. I fell for her the moment we met.

Her smile, her laugh, her beautiful eyes and smoothed legs had been enough of a distraction and I didn’t want it to end. She made me feel good in ways that I hadn’t experienced in a very long time. No woman had ever had that effect on me and it scared me to death just thinking about her going home to Jared and not feeling the same way I did.

I knew that if she broke up with him, I wouldn’t be a rebound guy. She’s made it clear to me in the last six days, that she doesn’t really love him. She’s been hiding her true feelings with the comfort of knowing that she isn’t going home to an empty house. I wanted her to come to my house. I wanted her to meet Cheyenne. I just—wanted her.

She deserves so much better and I will fight to prove it to her. I need to be true to myself. I can’t hide or lie anymore.

I love her. I love her? I love her!

I stared into her eyes behind her mask as the music played around us while we danced. The night was coming to an end and I needed to
show
her. I could only talk so much, I needed to take some sort of action. I needed to show her that I wanted to be more than friends. She’s got me thinking a lot of crazy things—like love and I wasn’t scared.

The way we were dancing would portray that we
were
in love. I spun her around and around and fell more in love with her as we laughed and never left each other. I knew we were perfect for each other. No woman had ever moved me the way Brooke did.

The DJ slowed the tempo a bit, changing the song to
It Will Rain
by Bruno Mars and the opening verse rang true to me. If she didn’t go home and break up with Jared, my life would be dark again. I would go back to hiding my feelings with random women.

“You know this isn’t goodbye, right?” I whispered into her ear.

She leaned back, lifting her head from my shoulder. “I know,” she nodded with a sad smile.

I couldn’t last any longer. If I didn’t show her tonight, I may never have another chance. Cupping her face with both hands, her mask beneath my fingers, I leaned in and tasted her. My lips pressed into hers, parting a little as she mimicked mine. My body instantly relaxed, my tongue slipping in and licking against hers. I felt her body relax too, her hands around my neck tightened as
she
deepened the kiss.

The people dancing in the room around us disappeared and I thought of nothing but the way she let a whisper of a moan escape her mouth into mine. I’d never had a kiss as intense as our kiss. It made me forget my own name, made me forget to breath—I couldn’t think of anything but that moment. It was a feeling I’d never known, felt better than any other kiss over my thirty-one years. Better than the first kiss I had with my neighbor, Page, growing up.

The kiss made perfect sense.

My dick started to stiffen in my black tux pants, my head spinning as I leaned forward, ours bodies flush and still swaying to the words of the song. She rubbed her body directly on my cock, moaning again as our tongues swirled around each other and it became hard to breath. I wasn’t pulling away. If I died from kissing her, I would die happy.

But then everything came crashing down. I felt Brooke stiffen beneath me and I wanted to go back ten seconds and capture the way everything was perfect. To never let go of that feeling and to kiss her for the rest of my life.

But, I kissed her. I fucking kissed her. I couldn’t take it anymore and now I’m here with her in my arms, pretending that it didn’t happen. Her body was still tense against my body as we danced, but I just wanted her to relax. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I thought she wanted it. I’d seen the way she looked at me. Seen the way she was staring at me when she thought I was sleeping.

I was so far off my game it was ridiculous. Easton Crawford doesn’t let women regret being with him. I give them what they want and they give me what I want.

Fuck, I shouldn’t have kissed her, but I just couldn’t wait any longer. Tomorrow she would be back in Boston and I might never get the chance again. I had to know what her lips tasted like and they fucking tasted—perfect.

“I…I’m tired. I’m going to call it a night,” Brooke said, leaving my arms and walked out the doors.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—fuck!

*~*~*

I tossed and turned all night, replaying the moment Brooke’s lips and mine met. The way they felt, the way they tasted like a mix of cranberry and champagne, the way her body tensed after she felt my cock pressed into her and the way I forgot everything but her for a moment in time.

When we got back to the room, she showered and then went to bed. Everything was awkward. We didn’t say more than a few words to each other and now the sun was starting to rise and I knew that we would arrive back in Los Angeles at any moment.

I reached for my cell, turned it on and waited for it to boot. After a few seconds, it turned on and read that it was six fifty. I got up, quietly getting into the shower and replayed the evening over and over in my head. I couldn’t believe that I fucked everything up. Everything was perfect between us. The kiss was perfect—almost.

After some time, I stepped out, grabbing a towel to dry myself off and slipped on my boxers and jeans. I looked into the steamy mirror, scolding myself for fucking things up with Brooke and not having time to fix them.

The Captain announced over the loud speaker that rooms would be called shortly when it was time to deboard. I exited the bathroom into an empty room. My heart dropping as I realized Brooke left without even a goodbye.

Walking to my bed, I picked up my phone to look at the time—seven thirty. I groaned, setting it onto the nightstand between the two beds and noticed a torn receipt with her writing.

Easton,

This isn’t goodbye. I need time to think and figure out what I need to do with Jared. I know things are awkward right now, but I’ve never cheated on someone before. My head is fucked up. Please forgive me and give me time.

Brooke

“I’m in love!” Avery said, barreling into the room as I finished reading the note for the tenth time.

I hadn’t moved from the spot that I sat down on my bed to read the note from Brooke. Looking up, I question, “What?”

“I’m in love, dude.”

“Good for you.”

“What the fuck is your problem?”

“Nothing,” I said, folding the flimsy paper and stuck it in my pocket.

The girls were gone—or at least we wouldn’t see them again for a long time. I had no idea that I wouldn’t get to say goodbye to Brooke. If her note was true, I didn’t fuck up, but how much time will she need? She didn’t even leave me her phone number. Does that mean she doesn’t want me to contact her? She wants me to wait for her?

“Why are you in a bad mood? I’m the one leaving the one I love.”

Usually Avery’s talk about love and shit, wouldn’t piss me off. I would usually say or think that you can’t fall in love with someone so fast and laugh at him, but I was in love with Brooke and it was the same amount of time as he and Nicole had been together—actually longer if you consider the ten minutes we stood side by side during the safety speech.

“I kissed Brooke and she didn’t say goodbye. Sue me alright?”

“She didn’t say goodbye?” he asked.

We were both going around the room, getting our shit together, making sure
I
hadn’t left anything and getting ready to leave.

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“Wow, you fucked up.”

“I know.” Even though Brooke told me in the note that I didn’t fuck up, I felt like I did. I felt like I would never see her again. The girl that stole my heart, left with just a note. “Let’s talk about you. I don’t want to talk about this shit.”

“Dude, Nicole is—fuck man, she is fucking…I can’t even comprehend how fucking amazing she is and not just in bed. I’ve never had this connection with anyone before.”

I knew exactly what he meant. We didn’t need to talk about it anymore. The difference between Avery and Nicole and Brooke and I, was that they got to experience the whole package: emotional and physical. Brooke and I shared something on the emotional level. A level that scared the shit out of me, but a level I wanted to dive head first in.

*~*~*

“Daddy!” Cheyenne screamed as she opened the door from the front seat to rush to me.

Bill and my Peanut picked Avery and me up at the docks once we deboarded the ship. I had no idea how long they waited for us, but it took over an hour for them to call our room number. We didn’t see the girls leaving the ship, didn’t see them in customs, and didn’t see them waiting for any of the buses for the airport.

“Hey, Peanut, I’ve missed you so much!” I dropped my bags, picked Cheyenne up in my arms and twirled her around as I hugged the shit out of her.

After a few spins, I kissed her cheek and set her down. She hugged Avery and she and I got in the backseat of Bill’s car while Avery got shotgun after putting our bags in the trunk.

“Hey,” I said to Bill in the driver’s seat.

“Have fun?”

“It was awesome!” Avery answered.

“I got you something Peanut,” I said, reaching into my pocket.

Cheyenne’s eyes lit up bright. “You did?”

“Of course.” I handed her a bag that was folded small enough to fit in my pocket.

What do you get your kid when you go on a trip to Mexico. A trip where it’s legal to drink at eighteen and there are more people half your age partying than you yourself. I had no idea what to get Cheyenne when Avery and I left the girls in Cabo to venture off. I looked at t-shirts, but figured she would grow out of them. I looked at magnets, but thought those were lame for a ten-year-old. I looked at candy, but I figured my girl would be grossed out by a worm in a sucker. Then, I looked at jewelry.