Inferno Anthology (76 page)

The nurse called me back when it was my turn and Easton and I waited for Doctor Bloom in an exam room. Other than the pain in my side where my stiches were, I felt fine. The pain in my shoulder blade was gone.

“Hey Brooke, Easton, it’s good to see you again,” Doctor Bloom said and shook our hands when he came in. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.”

“Let me take a look at your stitches,” he said and came over to lift my shirt. “They are healing nicely. Let me change the bandage and in about three or four days, you can remove it and can get that area wet.”

“Okay,” I said and waited as he put on a fresh, white bandage and tape.

“They X-rays look good and everything seems to be healing fine,” he said, looking at his computer. “We got the biopsy report back.”

I took a deep breath. “And?”

“Well, we were both very hopeful that after we removed the mass, then you would just heal and that would be it.”

“Right?” I questioned, raising my eyebrows.

“The tumor that you had is called a Desmoid tumor. They aren’t cancerous, but they’re known to grow back. We aren’t sure what causes them so I want you to talk to a genetics counselor.”

“Oh great,” I said and looked over at Easton.

Doctor Bloom continued. “I’ve been talking to some of my colleagues and there are two options to prevent more from forming. One chemo and the other is radiation.”

Chemo? Radiation?

“Okay…” I said nervously.

I want you to go talk to both doctors and then make a decision on what you want to do.”

I don’t recall any more of what Doctor Bloom and I talked about. I’m actually not sure if I even talked except uttering “uh huh” and “okay” a few times. All I could think about was chemo and radiation. When he told me that my tumor wasn’t cancer, I was relieved, but once he told me that I would need chemotherapy or radiation, I was stunned.

*~*~*

I called the doctors that Doctor Bloom recommended on the way home and made appointments for consultations. I just wanted this whole nightmare over with. On one hand, I was relieved I didn’t have cancer, but on the other hand, I didn’t want more to form and be in pain again.

When Easton and I arrived at my apartment, we were both sad. The plan was for me to stay with him for the next few weeks, but instead, I had an appointment the following morning with the chemo doctor and then the next afternoon, I was meeting with the radiation doctor.

He didn’t want to leave me, but I assured him that I would be fine and I would ride with Nicole on Friday to the city.

We said our goodbyes so he could make Cheyenne’s practice. I knew the back and forth was hard on him. He stayed with me on Wednesday when I got out of the hospital, returned home Friday and then came back Sunday night. I really wanted to just stay with him in New York because it would be better on both of us, but it wasn’t working out.

I didn’t bother unpacking my bags. I was determined that on Friday, I wouldn’t return to Boston until I had to start chemo or radiation and if anything, I was going to wait to schedule those until it was summer, so Bailee would be with me and Easton didn’t need to worry about me so much.

When I walked into the kitchen to make a sandwich for lunch, I noticed that my voice mail light was blinking on my answering machine. The only person that had that number was Jared and my mother. I never got rid of my landline because I never wanted to give my mother my cell phone number. I didn’t want her to feel that she could get ahold of me whenever she wanted.

She was never there for me growing up, so why should she have my number in case of emergencies?

I pushed the blinking red light and waited for the machine to start the message. It was from that morning while I was at the doctor’s office.

“Brookie, it’s your Mother. Your sister told me about your surgery and your tumor. I’m worried about you. Please call me. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll keep trying.”

I was instantly pissed at my sister. Just like Nicole, she couldn’t listen to my wishes. I didn’t want my mother to know about my tumor—especially since no one knew it wasn’t cancer except Easton and I. I hadn’t even had the chance to tell anyone else.

If I did have cancer, I was going to tell my mother. But since I didn’t, I wasn’t planning on telling her. Of course, she said she would call back because she knew I wouldn’t call her back for a while. When I last talked to her the Sunday after my birthday, I only answered because I didn’t feel like hearing the phone ring all day.

The line rang three times before my mother answered.

“Brookie, how are you feeling?”

“Fine.” I really wasn’t in the mood for this phone call.

“Your sister called and told me that the surgery went well. I wish you had told me. I would have flown in.”

“It wasn’t necessary.”

“Is your boyfriend…what’s his name…Jared? Is he taking good care of you?”

“Jared and I broke up before my surgery.”

“So you’re all alone? Do you need me to come take care of you?”

Why the fuck did she care?

“Actually, I’m dating another guy and he’s taking good care of me.”

“Do you have cancer?”

Let’s not beat around the bush or anything.

“No.”

“Good, I don’t know what I would do if you had cancer.”

“Really?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” I said and rolled my eyes.

“Well, I was just calling to see if you had cancer…”

“Well, I don’t,” I said and cut her off.

“Are you angry with me or something?”

“No more than usual.”

“What has gotten into you, young lady?”

“Look, Mom, I really don’t want to talk about it. Thanks for calling.”

“You can’t still be mad at me from when you were a kid, can you? I explained to you…”

“Explained what? That you weren’t ready to raise two children so you decided that your eldest should raise herself and her sister?”

“I know I messed up. I want to be there for you now.”

“Why?”

“Because Stanley has children, and they have grandkids, and I want my own.”

“What?” I questioned, almost falling off my chair. “You want to be a mother figure now? It only took you thirty years…”

“I miss you and Bai, and since you don’t have cancer, you can give me grandkids.”

“Mother, that’s absurd.”

“Please…” she sighed into the phone.

“Please what? You just want me to get knocked up now?”

“Well…”

“No, I’m not going to just pop out kids for you. You won’t even be in their lives.”

“Yes, I will. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I will be there. Stanley will fly me out to take care of them when you have them, and I’ll be a wonderful grandmother.”

“You’ve lost your mind.”

“I promise.”

“I haven’t even seen you over four years…your own daughter. You’re too busy to come see me, what makes you think that you’ll have
time
to see your grandkids?”

“I’ve changed. Stanley…”

“No, Stanley. I’m not going to give you grandchildren just because you have another family and you want a grandchild that’s your own blood.”

“Why are you being like this?”

“Don’t get me started. I have to go. If you recall, I just had a tumor removed and I’m in a lot of pain. I don’t have time for this.”

“Please, just think about it. I want to be in your life now.”

“Yeah, fine. I’ll think about it. I have to go. Bye.”

My mother had lost her fucking mind. Even when I had children, they were not going anywhere near her unless she proved that she had changed. She could take care of that Stanley guy’s grandchildren.

*~*~*

I went to the chemo doctor and the radiation doctor. The chemo doc told me that chemo wasn’t the answer. I was beyond relieved. I wasn’t looking forward to losing my hair and becoming extremely sick. I wasn’t looking forward to hours of treatment either.

The radiation doctor didn’t give me the same good news. H
opefully, to
prevent the tumor from coming back, I would need to have radiation Monday through Friday for six weeks.
Six weeks!

“Do you want to proceed?” the doctor asked after telling me how they would basically burn the cells around where the tumor was to
hopefully
prevent another one from returning.

“I guess I have no other option.”

“Okay, I’ll have the nurse come in and schedule the CT.”

“Actually…is it possible to refer me to a treatment center in New York?”

“New York? I can assure you that our center is…”

“No, it’s not that. I’m moving to New York and I would rather have my treatments there.”

When the doctor told me that radiation would last six weeks after another four weeks for my recovery from surgery, the thought popped into my head. I didn’t want to stay with Easton for a month and then come back to an empty home. Plus, Lucy and Mike never came to see me in the hospital like they promised. They’ve only sent a text message since to see how I’ve been doing and not a word from Ian.

When Easton told me that he loved me, the words “pack her shit up in her apartment and move her in with me” kept ringing in my ear. I wasn’t sure at the time if he was serious or he was just saying that in the heat of the moment, but before Doctor Bloom dropped the bomb that I would need either chemo or radiation, I was on my way to stay with Easton for six weeks.

I also got the feeling that Nicole was planning to move, too. I’ve never seen her so hung up on a guy before and the distance between everyone was brutal. Nicole has always been the one to want to drop everything and start a family. Every guy she meets, she thinks about marrying him. Of course, they don’t work out, but Avery…I think, is the one for her. I can tell he loves her and all the other guys didn’t have that look about them.

Even if Easton and I didn’t work out, I needed a fresh start somewhere. I didn’t want to go back to a job where I hated my boss. Life is too short to be miserable and that’s what I was. Yes, I loved doing the work—helping children in the long run, but I was tired. I wanted to start over and get out of the apartment that I shared with Jared.

“Okay, sure, I can refer you to a center in New York. I’ll let Doctor Bloom know and the reception desk will have your referral.”

After I left the appointment, I was supposed to call Easton and tell him how it went and what the doctor said. I made the phone call short and just told him that I would need six weeks of radiation and that it would start in about a month. Luckily, he was getting ready for Cheyenne’s softball practice and couldn’t talk long. I didn’t tell him about having it in New York, I wanted to do that in person and surprise him. Little did he know that I wanted to surprise him tonight.

I texted Nicole and told her about the appointment and that I was going to New York instead of waiting until Friday. Easton and Nicole didn’t want me driving, but I didn’t want to wait two more days until I could see Easton again. Those two days would be tortuous given the fact that I would be sitting around alone in my apartment.

After I packed a few more bags of my things, I paid rent for the following month and took off for New York—my new home.

Easton

S
ix weeks of radiation? Fuck that was a lot. And five days a week? I didn’t like the news that Brooke had just told me. If she was having treatments five days a week and Cheyenne had games every Saturday—plus practices, my time with Brooke was going to be minimal. I had already gotten it into my head that Brooke was going to be with me while she recovered and when her doctor told her about needing either chemo or radiation, I didn’t expect her to tell me that it would be for six weeks.

There had to be a solution.

I didn’t have time to think about a solution. Peanut had practice and then I had to cover a shift for Bethy since she had for me several times in the last few weeks. Cheyenne was getting better practice after practice. I couldn’t believe how much she had grown in only a few weeks. I was proud of her.

During practice, some of the girls were being little bitches towards Cheyenne. I didn’t know why. Cheyenne was a trooper and didn’t pay any attention to them. At first, it started out with a few girls turning Cheyenne down to warm up with her. Then I saw one of the girls bump into her and finally towards the end of practice, another one of the girls that started giving her a hard time, started calling her Cryanne instead of Cheyenne. I started to say something, but before I could, Courtney told them to shut up and then Phil stepped in.

“Are you okay, Peanut?” I asked when we got into my car.

“Yeah,” she responded curtly.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please just drop it.”

My heart was hurting. I didn’t know why the girls were being mean to her. Maybe something happened at school, but since she wasn’t talking to me, I didn’t know why they were being bitches.

“I’m sorry I have to go to work tonight, Peanut.”

“It’s okay. I’m used to it.”

Ouch, that stung.

“Would you rather hang out with Uncle A tonight instead of Grandma and Grandpa?”

Avery always had a way of cheering Cheyenne up. It was probably because he acted like a kid her age around her. I’ve tried, but she just sees me as her father—which I understood.

“Is he going to be on the phone with his girlfriend the whole time?”

I laughed. If it weren’t for Cheyenne, I would be on the phone the whole time with Brooke when I had a free moment, so it was understandable that Avery always had Nicole on the phone. He and Nicole were waiting until Nicole told Brooke that she was pregnant and she was moving to New York. I wanted them to hold off. I didn’t want Brooke going through radiation alone and I couldn’t be there every day—but it wasn’t my choice.

“No, I’ll make sure of it,” I said, smiling at her. She still had the sad look on her face and it was killing me.

I texted Avery before I put the car in drive that he needed to come over to my house to watch Cheyenne. I knew he didn’t have plans—his plan was to talk to Nicole all night and have phone sex…possible Skype sex.