Infinity & Always (32 page)

“You
okay?” I ask, watching as wipes his eyes.

“Yeah,”
he clears his throat. “I wonder what she wrote in mine. Max is
a cheeky fucker and doesn’t take life too seriously.”

“Well
it’s true,” I smile over at him. He nods and wipes his
face again.

“I
doubt I’ll get to hand mine over anytime soon, though.”

“Why’s
that? I thought you and Paige are doing good.”

“Yeah,
we are…I mean, we’re friends and it’s good, but…I
dunno Bailey, she wrecked me the first time around…I’m
not sure if I can chance it again,” he sighs.

Taking
his hand in mine I link my fingers with his, “I know how you
feel. I was like that when I first came here. I was closed off and
stayed up at Dad’s for nearly two months before I ventured into
town. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to open my heart to
anyone again,” I tell him.

“But
you met Knox,” he says.

“Yep
and he wrecked me too, but I took a chance again and now look at us.”

Max
smiles at me and leans over to kiss my forehead, “I’m
happy you two got together. I think you’re perfect for him
sis.”

“Thanks,
Max.”

Standing,
we walk back into the waiting room with our arms around each other.
Apart from Knox, Max is by best friend and I’d be lost without
him here. I watch the hours tick by, one after another. Four hours
turns to six, which turns to eight and I am beginning to get a little
nervous. The operation was supposed to be four to six hours; not an
eight going on nine. We are all feeling a little restless. Max is
bouncing his knee. Richard is scrolling through his phone and I’m
pacing a hole in the floor.

As
the clock moves on to the tenth hour, I get agitated. Max keeps
watching me and I run my hands through my hair. Tying it up, then
taking it down, and repeating it over again. I am about to lose it
when the doctor finally walks into the room.

“Hello,”
she greets us. I can see the tiredness around her eyes and weariness
about her too. My heart bangs against my chest as I wait for her to
speak to us.

“Knox
is out of surgery. He is in recovery, but I’m going to keep him
in for a few days longer than normal.”

Richard
jumps to his feet, startling all of us. “What happened?”

“There
was more bleeding than there should have been, but we got it under
control. Right now, he is still sedated while the swelling goes down.
I can only allow one person to see him for now,” she nods at
us.

“You
go,” I say to Richard. He looks at me, lost, but I nod and
motion for him to go. He follows the doctor and I drop into the
chair, closing my eyes.

“He’s
okay sis. He’ll be awake soon,” Max says. I’m not
sure if it’s meant to ease my mind or his.

“Yeah,
I know,” I whisper.

Finally
after two days of waiting, I can go in and see Knox. Once I’m
in the room, I almost break down and sob. He has a bandage wrapped
around his head and his eyes look like he got punched, repeatedly.
Slipping my hand into his, I lift it up and kiss his knuckles.

“Lips
darlin’,” he whispers. His eyes are still closed and his
hand tries to pull me down.

“I
missed you, babe,” I tell him and place my lips on his.

“I
missed you too,” he whispers back, turning his face away from
the window.

“How’s
the head?” I ask.

“Sore,
feels worse than before, but I guess I did just have brain surgery.”

“You’re
not funny,” I answer.

He
gives me small laugh. “Am too,” he sighs. “Tired,”
he says and then his breathing settles into a soft rhythm.

Letting
his hand go, I close over the blinds on the window then resume my
position beside him. I read two books and listen to my iPod before he
even moves. Once he does he mumbles but remains asleep. Max strolls
in after work and sits down opposite me.

“How
is he?”

“Okay,
made a joke about five hours ago,” I shrug.

“Doc
says he will be in and out for a few days. Do you want to go eat? I
can sit for a while,” he asks.

I
know Max misses his brother and I really don’t want to go, but
I do. Nodding, I stand up and tell him I’m going to the café
across the street. It kills me to walk out of the room, but I need
to. Entering the café, I smell the food and instantly my
stomach grumbles. Taking a seat, I order a burger and fries. Sipping
my milkshake, I text my mom back and let her Knox is doing okay, but
he still has a ways to go. When my food arrives, I force myself to
eat it and slowly too, giving Max some time.

Life
right now is on hold, although Knox is out of surgery, his brain
still has swelling and the lump they removed is being tested for
cancer. I have numbed myself to the whole thing. Part of me feels
bad, but the survival part is keeping me numb just so I can function.
I need to be strong for him, not to break down and lose it while Knox
depends on me. Walking back to the hospital, I school my features and
put on my brave face, the face I have adopted since the other day.

Walking
into the room I can hear Max talking. As I round the corner, I see
Knox sitting up and awake. I almost drop the remainder of my shake
with my sudden shock.

“Hey
babe,” my voice is barely a whisper.

Looking
over he tilts his head a little, “Hi.”

I’m
confused. Walking closer, I look at him, trying, to gauge what is
going on here. Max stands and reaches for me, but I shrug him off.
“Hi babe, you feeling okay?” I ask. Knox looks at me for
a minute, then over to Max.

“Hey
sis, maybe we should step outside for a sec,” he says.

Following
Max out into the hallway, I cross my arms and glare at him. He holds
his hand up in surrender and takes a step back from me.

“He
kind of doesn’t know you,” he says.

“What?”
my eyes grow huge and I breathe hard. “What do you mean he kind
of doesn’t know me?”

“He
doesn’t remember much of the last two years,” Max shoves
his hands deep into his pockets.

“Are
you fucking kidding!” I whisper shout. He shakes his head no
and I crumble. My body slides down the wall and I sit on the floor.
My eyes just stare at nothing. Max walks back into the room leaving
me on the floor. After a while, I pull myself up and enter the room.
Both of them watch me pull up a chair and sit myself down. Knox gives
me his trademark smirk but says nothing.

“Do
you really not remember me?” I ask.

“Sorry,”
he answers and I can see the sadness in his eyes. Letting out a sigh
I nod and decide to make him remember.

“Well
that’s not good enough,” I tell him and pull my phone out
of my purse.

“What
do you mean?” Knox asks. He looks scared as he searches my
face.

“Knox,
we have been through so much in the last few years. I am not letting
you forget anything about us. We are getting married in two months.”

He
laughs at me, I’m not sure if it’s a nervous laugh or a
‘fuck you’ laugh.

“I’m
sorry, but I don’t know you and I am not getting married to
you.”

Max
stands up and opens his mouth, but I hold up my hand. “Don’t
Max.” He nods and takes a seat. I pull up the photos on my
phone and sit myself beside Knox, who moves away.

“Max
I think…” he starts but stops as soon as I hold the
phone out to him. Taking it he stares at the picture of us, his
favorite one.

“Wow,”
he says. I watch him slide his finger across the screen and take in
all the photos. I have a year’s worth of pictures on my phone
and I am glad I didn’t remove them. After about an hour, he
hands my phone back to me and smiles. I’m not sure what to make
of it and I pray my Knox is in there.

“It
seems like we have a good life together,” he says. I nod back
to him, swallowing hard. Max shakes his head and leaves the room. I
watch after him trying to figure out what is wrong with him. Knox
slips his hand into mine and links our fingers.

“I
could never forget you darlin’,” he grins at me.

“You
fucking asshole,” I breathe. Tears spill from my eyes and rip
my hand away from his. “That was mean Knox.” Climbing off
the bed I shove my phone back into my purse.

“Baby,
I’m sorry. It wasn’t a joke when I woke up I didn’t
recognize Max for a while but after a few minutes I did.”

“So
you think it was funny to do that to me?” I hiccup.

“Darlin’,
come over to me, now,” he holds out his arms and I shake my
head. He grunts in frustration at me, “Now Bailey.”

“That
wasn’t nice,” I cry, as I climb back up on the bed. He
wraps me in his arms and kisses my head.

“I’m
sorry darlin’, but I did like all the pictures. I love you,
even if I forgot you, those pictures would have made me a believer.”

Shaking
my head, I refuse to let him away with what he has just done on me. I
can’t believe he thought now was good time for a practical
joke. And Max, just wait until I see him again.

“Do
you still love me?” He whispers.

“No.”

“I
thought so,” he says. Lifting my face up to his he kisses me
softly.

***

Three weeks later

“I
can’t believe we are moving,” I sigh.

“Yeah
I know,” Knox replies. We have the truck loaded with boxes for
our first trip up to the new house. Knox has a bald patch on the side
of his head where he got cut open, but the hair is starting to grow
back, finally. We climb into the truck and take off up the hill to
our new home.

“Are
you excited darlin’?”

“Yes,
you?”

“Hell
yeah, I can’t wait to make love in every room,” he grins
at me.

“Is
that all you think about Knox Porter?”

“Pretty
much when I think of you, yeah.”

Rolling
my eyes, I press on the gas and take us up the hill. Knox links his
fingers through mine and shakes my hand. “You know you love me
darlin’.”

“Yes,
I do.”

When
I pull into the driveway, I can’t help but smile. The front
garden is beautiful. I had the water fountain removed and replaced it
with a flower garden. Knox gives me his megawatt smile and we climb
out of the truck.

“I
can’t believe we are finally moving in,” he sighs,
wrapping his arms around my waist.

“I
know, I can’t wait to see it all together.”

We
have only seen rooms, but not the whole house. “Ready?” I
ask.

“Hell
yeah!”

Knox
pulls me to the house laughing. We both pull out our keys and laugh
with excitement.

“Ladies
first,” he says, holding out his arm. Grinning, I run into the
house and stop to look around. Knox has his arms around my waist
again as we make our way through each room. The sitting room is
amazing with the full-length windows and the stone fireplace for the
winter. The hardwood floors run throughout the house, but in this
room they look so good.

“It’s
beautiful,” I whisper.

“Yeah,
it is. Wanna check out the kitchen?” he asks.

“Sure,
I’m dying to see it.” He grips my hand taking me through
the hall to the kitchen door.

“Close
your eyes,” he teases, kissing me first. I follow his
instructions and close my eyes. Knox takes my hand leading me into
the room. “Open baby,” he whispers in my ear. Once I do,
I have to blink a few times against the sun shining through the
massive windows. The room has been completely transformed from the
last time I saw it. The walls are a rich tan color, making them warm.
The floor is tiled with terracotta and the counter tops match the
rich bronze color.

“Holy
crap babe,” I breathe. “This is amazing.”

“Yeah
I know,” he answers. He brings me over to the window seat,
which I completely missed and he lifts the cushioned seat. Bending
down, I read the writing and laugh.

“Yes
I do, I love you, Knox Porter.”

I
take his hand now and bring him up the stairs. We check out the spare
empty bedrooms, then move on to his surprise. “Now, close your
eyes babe.” He complies with a big grin on his face. Opening
the door, I walk him inside and stop.

“Can
I open now?”

“Sure.”

When
he does, his eyes grow huge and his mouth opens. “Darlin’…”
turning slowly, he takes in the room. His guitars are lined up
against one wall in a custom made stand. I got him a real piano,
which I was told was a bitch to get up here, but it looks great in
the middle of the room. “I don’t know what to say…I,”
he tries to speak but can’t. I’m giddy with happiness,
just watching his reaction.

“You
like?” I ask.

“I
love it darlin’…Jesus…I mean… I love you.”
Stepping closer to him, I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him.
He kisses my head and squeezes me tightly.

“Let’s
go check out our room,” I mumble into his chest. We make our
way into the master bedroom. The bed is huge and centered in the
middle of the room. We picked a soft gray carpet and curtains with a
cream wall. Knox sighs as he stops beside me.

“I
can’t believe we have our own house,” he says.

“I
know.” Turning, I smile at him and we run out onto the balcony.
“Wow.” I look at the job Richard has done on the balcony,
it looks completely different.

“Dad
did a great job,” Knox says, wrapping me up in his arms again.

“Yeah
he did,” I agree. Knox bends down brushing his lips off mine.
We stand together just staring into each other’s eyes, for a
long time.

“I
really love you darlin’,” he says.

“I
love you too.” My eyes glance at the side of his head and he
sighs. Turning me in his arms, he pulls me back into his chest.

“Everything
will be okay darlin’. I’m okay,” he assures me.

“I
know babe. I just…I don’t know…you’re
different now, since the surgery.”