Inglourious Basterds (4 page)

True that. The sight of the dead soldiers with bare feet does rob the tableau of a certain dignity that is normally felt in
battlefield shots.

BACK TO HITLER

The dogs!

He fights his frustration, then…

Continue.

BACK TO THE BASTERDS

Aldo screams to the Basterd who’s guarding the two German prisoners.

Hey, Hirschberg, send that kraut sarge over.

BASTERD PFC. HIRSCHBERG

KICKS Sgt. Rachtman in the back.

You! Go!

Sgt. Rachtman is a little slow to respond. So Hirschberg grabs him by the hair, YANKS him to his feet, and KICKS him in the
ass, sending him on his way.

Most of the Basterds sit in a circle, Indian style, with Aldo in the middle.

As Sgt. Rachtman walks toward this circle of Basterds, An OFFSCREEN LITERARY NARRATOR (not Pvt. Butz) speaks over the SOUNDTRACK
in ENGLISH:

Sergeant Werner Rachtman has seen many interrogations since Germany decided it should rule Europe. But this is the first time
he’s ever been on the wrong end of the exchange.

It’s always been his belief that only a weakling in mind, body, and spirit complies with the enemy under threat of consequence.
As Werner watched men cry like women, pleadingly offer their knowledge, in exchange for their worthless lives, he made a vow
to himself.

If his role is to die in this conflict, when they put him under the earth, his dignity would be buried with him. For in the
other world, the gods only respect the ones they test first.

Well, Sergeant, this is your test. And the gods are watching.

The captured German sergeant enters the circle of Basterds, stands straight before the sitting southern lieutenant, and salutes
his captor.

(ENGLISH)

Sgt. Werner Rachtman.

Aldo returns the salute, looking at up him.

Lt. Aldo Raine. Pleased to meet cha. You know what sit down means, Werner?

Yes.

Then sit down.

The German sergeant does.

How’s your English, Werner? Cause if need be, we gotta couple fellas can translate.

Aldo points at one of the Basterds in the circle, CPL. WILHELM WICKI.

Wicki there, an Austrian Jew, got the fuck outta Salzberg while the gettin’ was good. Became American, got drafted, and came
back to give y’all what for.

Then Aldo points to another Basterd. A big, scary-looking Basterd, in a German sergeant’s uniform, named SGT. HUGO STIGLITZ.

And another one over there you might be familiar with, Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz. Heard of ’em?

The two German sergeants look at each other.

Everybody in the German army’s heard of Hugo Stiglitz.

The Basterds laugh, and a couple pat Hugo on the back.

The NARRATOR comes back on the SOUNDTRACK.

The reason for Hugo Stiglitz’s celebrity among German soldiers is simple.

WE SEE A PHOTO OF HUGO on the front page of the Nazi version of
Stars and Stripes
(the military newspaper).

As a German enlisted man, he killed thirteen Gestapo officers, mostly majors.

WE SEE THE MILITARY PHOTOS OF ALL THIRTEEN GESTAPO OFFICERS.

Instead of putting him up against a wall, the High Command decided to send him back to Berlin, to be made an example of.

Hugo in chains, being put in a lone troop truck, part of a prison convoy, en route to Berlin.

Needless to say, once the Basterds heard about him, he never got there.

EXT—FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE—DAY

The Basterds AMBUSH the prison convoy, killing everybody.

They walk to the back of the troop truck. Inside, Hugo, in chains, stares back at them.

Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz?

Hugo nods.

I’m Lt. Aldo Raine, and these are the Basterds. Ever heard of us?

Hugo nods his head, yes.

We just wanna say, we’re a big fan of your work. When it comes to killin’ Nazis, I think you show great talent, and I pride
myself on havin’ an eye for that kind of talent. But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur. We all came here to see
if you wanna go pro?

BACK TO THE BASTERD CIRCLE.

Now Werner, I’m gonna assume you know who we are?

Aldo the Apache.

The circle of Basterds giggle.

Well, Werner, if you heard of us, you probably heard we ain’t in the prisoner-takin’ business. We in the killin’ Nazi business.
And cousin, business is boomin’.

The Basterds laugh.

Now that leaves two ways we can play this out. Either kill ya or let ya go. Now whether or not you gonna leave this circle
alive depends entirely on you.

Aldo takes out a map of the area and lays it out in front of his prisoner.

Up the road a piece, there’s a orchard. ’Sides you, we know there’s another kraut patrol fuckin’ around here somewhere. Now
if that patrol were to have any crack shots, that orchard would be a goddamn sniper’s delight. Now if you ever wanna eat a
sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this map where they are, you gotta tell me how many they are, and you gotta
tell me what kinda artillery they carrying with ’em.

You can’t expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger.

Well, Werner, that’s where you’re wrong. Because that’s exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hidin’ in trees.
And you need to tell me.

And you need to tell me, right now. Now take your finger and point out on this map where this party’s bein’ held, how many’s
comin’, and what they brought to play with.

Werner sits, head held high, back straight, chin up, every inch the German hero facing death.

I respectfully refuse, sir.

Aldo jerks his thumb behind him.

You see that ole boy battin’ rocks?

WE RACK-FOCUS to one of the Basterds not in the circle. He’s wearing a wife beater and power-hitting stones with a baseball
bat.

Werner’s eyes go to the ballplayer.

That’s Sgt. Donny Donowitz. But you might know him better by his nickname, the Bear Jew. Now if you heard of Aldo the Apache,
you gotta heard about the Bear Jew?

I heard.

What did you hear?

He beats German soldiers with a club.

He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat, what he does.

SGT. DONOWITZ

back to us, still haven’t seen his face. He Babe Ruths a rock soaring into the atmosphere.

Now, Werner, I’m gonna ask you one last goddamn time, and if you still “respectfully refuse,” I’m calling the Bear Jew over
here, and he’s gonna take that big bat of his, and he’s gonna beat your ass to death with it.

Now take your Wiener-schnitzel-lickin’ finger and point out on this map what I want to know.

Fuck you and your Jew dogs.

Instead of getting mad, the Basterds burst out LAUGHING.

Also says to Werner, with a giggle in his voice:

Actually, Werner, we’re all tickled ya said that. Frankly, watchin’ Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to
goin’ to the movies.

(YELLING)

DONNY!

SGT. DONOWITZ

He turns to the CAMERA and yells:

Yeah?

Got a German here wants to die for his country. Oblige him.

SGT. DONNY DONOWITZ

bat over his shoulder, smiles.

CUT TO

INT—BARBER SHOP (BOSTON)—DAY

Donny, cutting heads, in his pop’s barber shop, in Boston.

… ya got the goddamn, fuckin’ Germans, declaring open season on Jews in Europe, and I’m suppose to fly to the fuckin’ Philippines
and fight a bunch of fuckin’ Japs—not me, pal. If we just go in this against the Japs, the whole U.S. of fuckin A can go take
a running jump at the moon.

You know, they got a word for what you’re sayin’ Donny. It’s called treason.

Hey, stick your treason up your poop hole. If I’m gonna kill my fellow man in the name of liberty, that fellow man will be
German.

INT—SPORTING GOODS STORE—DAY

MR. GOOROWITZ’S sporting goods shop in Donny’s Jewish Boston neighborhood. Donny walks in.

Hello, Donny. How are you?

Ah, just dandy, Mr. Goorowitz.

Your mother, your father—everything good there?

They’re just fine. I’m shippin’ off next week.

The store proprietor extends his hand to the young man.

Good for you, son. Kill one of those Nazi basterds for me, will ya?

That the idea, Mr. Goorowitz.

What can I do you for, Donny?

I need a baseball bat.

The store owner leads him to a basket with eight bats in it. Donny starts going through them without saying anything.

Mr. Goorowitz watches.

You gettin’ your little brother a present before you ship out?

Donny, concentrating on the bats, not looking up:

No.

Donny’s “no” silences the gabby Goorowitz. He seems to settle on one, feeling its weight in his hands.

Can I try this one on for size, outside?

Extending his arm:

Be my guest.

The phone rings.

I’ll get that. You go right ahead.

The proprietor answers the phone and gets into a conversation with his OFFSCREEN mother.

Donny walks outside. WE STAY IN STORE but can see him clearly through the store’s big picture window.

However, Mr. Goorowitz instinctively turns his back to Donny to speak with his mother.

Donny starts swinging the bat. It’s pretty obvious he’s pantomiming beating somebody to death with it. Then he starts yelling:

Take that, ya Nazi basterd! You like fuckin’ with the Jews? Wanna fuck with the Jews? The American Jews are gonna FUCK with
you… !

Mr. Goorowitz sees none of this as he speaks to his mother. He hangs up the phone just as Donny walks back into the store.
The store owner turns to the store customer.

Is this the heaviest ya got?

CUT TO

INT—HALLWAY APARTMENT BUILDING—DAY

Donny, dressed nice, in an apartment building in his Jewish Boston neighbourhood. He knocks on a door.

A VERY OLD JEWISH WOMAN opens the door, only a little, peering out at the young man.

How can I help you?

Mrs. Himmelstein?

State your business, young man.

Mrs. Himmelstein, I’m Donny Donowitz. My father, Sy Donowitz, owns the barber shop on Greeny Ave. Sy’s Barber Shop.

I’ve seen it. Do you live in the neighborhood?

All my life.

Again, state your business?

May I have a word with you?

What about?

Our people in Europe.

She thinks for a beat, then holds the door open for the young man.

Come in. Would you like some tea?

INT—MRS. HIMMELSTEIN’S APARTMENT—DAY

Donny sits on an overstuffed sofa, holding a tea cup and saucer in his hand. Mrs. Himmelstein sits on an overstuffed chair,
holding her tea, looking across at her visitor.

(sipping tea)

Very good.

If you like tea.

Donny chuckles at her little joke. The old woman remains stone. She wasn’t joking. He places his saucer on the coffee table
and begins:

Mrs. Himmelstein, do you have any loved ones over in Europe who you’re concerned for?

What compels you, young man, to ask a stranger such a personal question?

Because I’m going to Europe. And I’m gonna make it right.

And just how do intend to do that, Joshua?

He holds up his bat.

With this.

And what exactly do you intend to do with that toy?

I’m gonna beat every Nazi I find to death with it.

She takes another sip of tea.

I thought we were having tea together.

Donny picks up his cup and takes a sip.

And in this pursuit, how is it that
I
can be of service?

I’m going through the neighborhood. If you have any loved ones in Europe whose safety you fear for, I’d like you to write
their name on my bat.

BACK TO BASTERDS

Donna takes a long walk to Werner…

PVT. BUTZ

watches all this…

As WE CUT BACK and FORTH BETWEEN DONNY WALKING and WERNER WAITING, WE ALSO CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN DONNY and MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
…

You must be a real basterd, Donny.

You bet your sweet ass I am.

Hand me your sword, Gideon. I do believe I will join you on this journey.

She signs the BAT: “MADELEINE.”

Donny steps up to the plate, looking down at the Nazi: