Initiate Me (25 page)

“Hey, now. Take a deep breath. I’m not going to tell you everything is going to be sunshiny rainbows, but sometimes no news is good news.”

“I hope so." But my thoughts flew to Mic. I couldn’t comprehend not ever seeing his teasing smile again. Or being a victim of his practical jokes. Or watching him lace up his battered running shoes before he took off on his daily ten-mile run. Mic's life obsessions were working out and guns, so no one had been particularly surprised when he’d enlisted in the armed forces. But my entire family was shocked when he’d chosen the military—not the family business—as his career. "I need to go see my parents; my mother must be going crazy."

"I'll take you. Let's go."

I needed my family then more than ever.

***

M
y parents had only been back a week from their trip, and for them to receive this news was devastating. As I walked up the porch steps, I spotted my mother sitting on her ever-faithful rocking chair, knitting feverishly. The result of her rapidly moving fingers was a white lump piled beside her. She didn’t even glance up when she said, "Max has told you?"

“Yes." I let out a shaky breath.

No answer.

I walked over to her, my heels clicking on the wooden deck as I sat on the love-seat beside her,
click, click, click
as the metal needles whipped the wool into shape.

Neither one of us spoke for the longest time, which was fine. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, anyway.

My mother started babbling, “I’ve been putting off finishing this baby blanket for Max and Jada. It will give them hope that the next round of treatment will be a success. You need to remain positive, right?”

“Right.”

“It will happen. I know it will. I can't wait to be a Nonna."

I smiled. "You will be a wonderful Nonna, too. You'll be spoiling those little grandchildren rotten. I can't wait to be an aunty, either. Of course, I'll have to get them to call me A
unty,
because Zia Mia sounds weird." I laughed, trying to ease her tension.

“It will be fun to have a baby around this place again. They say what goes around comes around because Max was my climber. But Marco always stayed put, patiently waiting for me to lift him out. And Miccah...Miccah rattled the bars of his play pen so hard I feared he'd rip them out. When you were born, I thought Miccah would accidentally hurt you because he was such a big kid. But he didn't. He was so gentle with you. And patient. Lord, Miccah's size scared a lot of people. He is so strong and smart and he can’t be...there’s no way. No way. They’re wrong. They’re wrong.” She broke down, crying.

The clicking stopped. So did my heart.

“Oh, God," my mother cried. "I can’t do this...I can’t...he’s not...not Miccah...not one of mine. Not mine.”

I gently set the knitting aside and circled my arm around her shoulder as she sobbed. I cried silently right along with her, my emotions ripped into shreds. A cracking noise sounded, followed by a grunt as my father crouched down in front of my mother.

His face looked pinched and pale, almost haggard. He paid no attention to me; his sole focus was on his wife. Picking up her hands from her lap, he kissed her fingertips. “Rosa...

My mother met his gaze. “What?”

“Are you—”

“Don’t you ask me if I’m all right, or I swear to God, I’ll scream.”

“O-o-okay,” he said evenly. “Maybe you should—”

“Don’t you dare suggest I go lay down, either,” she sobbed.

A great gasping sob erupted from my mum’s throat.

“Hey, now, hush.” My father tenderly kissed Mum's palms and the tips of her fingers, then rubbed her knuckles over his razor-stubbled cheeks like her skin was the finest silk. His actions seemed to calm them both a little.

“Sorry,” she said to him. “What were you going to say?”

“I thought you might want to give your poor fingers a break for a bit.”

“I’m fine. It takes my mind off things.”

“I’m sure it does but there's no grandchild coming just yet."

I should’ve excused myself, but that sweet, solicitous side of my father was beautiful and it staggered me. My father was affectionate most of the time, but I rarely saw that side of him with my mother.

In truth, he may’ve been all touchy-feely and I probably never saw it.

“My fingers are just fine, Pep. I need something to do with my hands. I’m going crazy—”

“I know, me, too.” He closed his eyes as my mother touched his face. The harshest, tightest lines around his mouth relaxed and he sighed as she rubbed his neck.

“You’re strung just as tight as me. How about I take you into town and you can have one of those Swedish massages at that new herbal place that's opened up?"

“Maybe.”

My father’s dark-brown eyes, so like mine, opened and held a hint of challenge. “If you do something for me first.”

When she arched her eyebrow, he grinned. A flat-out bad-boy grin, just like the one he’d passed on to my brothers. “Not that.”

“That would be a first,” my mother murmured. “What do you want me to do?”

“Eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.”

He kissed her knuckles. “I thought you might say that. But we can go out for lunch at Zane's pub. He's asked us many times to go there for a meal. It’d be rude not to try out the new menu at The Barossa Barrels after his renovations. Ask Mia; she's there quite often, aren't you, baby girl?" My father had a suspicious glint to his eye when he looked at me.
Oh, shit, he knows. He knows I've been lying and sneaking off most nights to spend them with Zane. Crap!

I bit back a smile. At least I wouldn't have to lie anymore. We could finally tell everyone we were together. My father was a sneaky man; using me as an example had the desired effect because my mother caved.

“Maybe we can go for a little while,” she said.

“That’s my girl.” He helped her to her feet. "You going to ride with us, Mia, or is Zane coming back to pick you up?"

"Okay, okay, stop fishing for information. Yes, Zane and I are dating," I announced. Damn, it felt great to get it all out in the open.

“Brava, I was wondering when you were going to tell us."

"But, you've only been back a week. How could you know?"

"It's a father’s intuition," he laughed. “And you’re lucky it’s Zane; any other man and I’d be getting my rifle out.”

He would, too; he’d done it before with one of my dates way back in high school.

"Why don't we all go?” My mother sniffled, totally oblivious to our conversation. "Let's round everyone up, Pep. Max, Jada, the Sinclairs; God knows Jada needs to get out and about, the poor love. Maybe Marco will even make it back in time from Melbourne. Mia, you send him a text and hopefully he will see it. I want all of us to be together tonight."

Oh, great, now Zane and I will be on display in front of everyone.
"I'll meet you there then. Zane's coming back to pick me up, so we—"

"Mia!” My mother scolded me. "I do not want to hear it. I was paying attention when your father said you were dating Zane, but enough with the details."

"Ma, I was not insinuating anything like that."
Oh, good Lord, now they think I’m some hussy! I just hope my father doesn't say anything to Zane and exert his Italian stubbornness and traditions on him.

That's all I need, to have Zane running in the other direction.

***

ZANE

“D
are I ask if there’s any more news on Miccah?” I asked her in the car.

“None. The whole time I was with my parents and we would hear a car we would all panic, afraid it would be an official army rep to tell us...” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I can’t say it. And some really superstitious part of me thinks if I don’t say it, it won’t happen. Stupid, huh?”

“No, not stupid. Hopeful.”

“Thanks.” She wiped her nose. “I’m sorry. I must look a mess."

“Yep, a real mess, angel." She smiled at that, at least.

"Oh, and...um...everyone is coming to the pub for lunch and possibly even the Sinclairs. My mum wants us to all get together because of Miccah...and...ah—"

Mia started crying again, swiping at the tears trickling down her face. Shit, I had no idea what to say to her. I hated those situations when it was someone you cared about. And I cared about Mia. A lot. I loved her. My heart was breaking seeing her like that.

"Angel, don't beat yourself up about it." I stroked her thigh through her jeans, trying to comfort her. "I know it's easy for me to say, but you need to stay positive."

"Okay, I'll try."

"How about I help you take your mind off things for a while, before everyone arrives for dinner." I swept my hand further up her thigh as I pulled up to the driveway of the pub. I heard her breath hitch and it wasn't from her crying.

“Can I take a raincheck? I’m not in the best mood right now. I really want to go see Jada before lunch if that’s okay with you?”

“Of course it is. Do you want me to take you or are you fine to drive?” I asked her tentatively.

“Yes, drop me off and then I can come back with Max and Jada for lunch. That way you will have time to organise things at the pub,” she offered.

“Sounds like a plan, but I’ve got Pete to do all that for me. I’m going to call the department down in Adelaide and see if they can get any information on Miccah’s team. It’s a slim chance, but it’s worth a try,” I said, hoping to lift her spirits.

“Really? That would be great if you could do that. I always forget you were a cop.”

“Yep, it’s still in my blood. I just can’t let it go. You just never know when you need to call in a favour. Speaking of which, I better check on that restraining order I have on Jessica. It seems to be working; I’ve not heard from her since before we left for Queensland.”

“Thank God for that. I sure don’t want her scratching your face again; I’ve become quite fond of it,” she teased.

It was good to see her smile again.

***

A
fter dropping Mia off, I made a few of those important calls to Adelaide but as I expected, the chances of finding Miccah and his team were slim. I did a bit of paperwork for a couple of hours, catching up on some work which needed my attention, and hopefully to avoid thinking about Mia for a few seconds. It wasn’t easy when all I could remember was the connection we had. I never thought I’d feel like that over a woman, especially for Mia, who I had known for almost ten years. Love was right in front of me, and I had never realised it.
All it takes is one second of her face filtering through my mind for my pants to tighten up. Yep, I’ve got it bad.

While Miccah was missing, there was no way I could tell her I loved her; she was too distraught. I needed to be her rock. I wanted to be there for Mia. Even though we’d really only been together a few short weeks, I knew what we had was real.
It may sound crazy...but when you know, you know.
Mia was worth everything to me. I could feel it in my gut. She was the one who healed the wounds which Jessica inflicted and I had been carrying for far too long.

When my phone rang and I saw Mia's name across the screen, my heart skipped a beat. “Hey, angel, you missing me already?” I was expecting her to give me one of her sassy remarks, but all I could hear was a sob which echoed over the phone.

Damn, she was still crying. "Mia, sweetheart, what's happened? Is there more news on Miccah?" Instinct kicked in and I reached for my keys and left the pub to get to Mia. "I'm coming to get you. Are you still with Max and Jada?"

After a brief silence, she spoke but she was far from sad; she was furious.

"I swear I'm going to kill that stupid, crazy bitch."

I had to pull over to talk to her, but I had no idea who she was talking about. "Angel, calm down and tell me what's got you so angry." I squeeze my eyes closed and raked my hand over my hair in frustration.

“Fine. You want to know what's got me so enraged? I'll spell it out for you. J. E. S. S. I. C. A." She spat out the letters like venom. "That psychopath stalker showed up at the hotel while Jada and I were sitting outside in the gardens having a drink, and she poured my iced tea all over my head. What the hell happened with that restraining order? I can't believe she showed up on Brunetti property throwing her little threats at me. How many times do you need to tell her it's over between the two of you?"

Motherfucking bitch. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I can't believe she broke the restraining order." Well, I did actually; I wouldn't put anything past Jessica and her tantrums.

"I want her gone, Zane. Gone."

“Okay, angel. I'll be there in five minutes. Are you still with Max and Jada?"

“Yes. I'm up in the penthouse. Jada and I were having a drink downstairs and out of the blue, Jessica stormed up to both of us and went nuts. Screaming her head off in front of hotel guests, and there were children and families everywhere. She went off about my relationship with you and about how much of a whore I am."

Holy fuck. How did I not see this coming? Damn Jessica and her fucked-up, crazy shit.
"Listen, you need to report it to the cops immediately. I'm on my way."

"Really? Gee, I never thought of contacting the police; I guess I had to wait for you to tell me!" she said sarcastically. Damn, I loved her feisty attitude. It was a huge turn-on. I'd rather see her fired up like this than sad like she was that morning.

"Oh, and angel?"

“Yes?" she hissed.

“You know you're getting me all worked up here with all that fire and rage you're directing at me. I might just have to nail you against the first surface I see when I lock eyes with you."

“Ha! That is so not happening, stud, so stop trying to worm your way back into my good graces."

My comment may have been somewhat inappropriate, but when I heard Mia laugh before disconnecting, I knew it had been all worth it.

***

MIA

"D
id that fucker just proposition you on the phone?" Max roared at me.

Shit. I completely forgot where I was when I was speaking to Zane and that Max was present.

"Max, I don't think you should have been listening in on Mia's conversation. It was private," Jada scolded him.