INK: Abstraction (13 page)

Something really has to
give, I feel like I’m living at the intersection of fear, anger
and insanity. If I’m not feeling desperately scared, I’m
so angry that I can barely speak, and the insanity, well yeah. I
guess that’s where Doctor Green comes in. Dad says talking with
him will really help. I’m not really counting on it.

“
He can’t
save you from me.
” The Specter’s voice is overflowing
with a cocky pride.

I squeeze my eyes shut.
Go the fuck away. I don’t want you, I don’t need you.
Go away!
I scream it in my head.

Carl jumps up in his
chair, looking ready to fight. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m
okay. The Specter won’t leave me alone.” I pull my lips
to the side with the craziness. “Isn’t there something
you can do to shield me from it? Can’t you make it go away?”
I plead.

“I’m
working on it.” He smooths out his standard beige blazer.

“What about the
pendant?” I avoid the disappointment in his eyes; it’s
too much to take. “Please, I need it to stop.”

Carl reaches into the
breast pocket of his jacket. “Here, we can try it. Maybe it
will work again.”

I slide it around my
neck. The movement and Carl and I talking rouse Eli. He inhales
deeply and smiles when he sees me. “Good morning.”

Seeing his sleepy smile
warms me from the inside and makes me feel safe. “Morning.”

Carl acknowledges Eli
with a nod. I’m not sure what the tension is between them. I
mean, Carl’s mad at me, not Eli. “Good morning, Carl.”
Eli stands to complete his stretch and eyes the restroom. “I’ll
be right back.”

When the door clicks
closed behind Eli I look to Carl, who has his back turned to me.
“Carl?” I say it quiet, afraid that he’s going to
snap at me.

Before he turns around
the tears are already flowing down and staining my pajamas. “I’m
sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Carl’s demeanor
softens slightly. “I know you didn’t, but you really have
to start thinking before you act.”

“I really don’t
understand what happened. All I did was bump his shoulder. I didn’t
even do it hard.” I hang my head in shame and the tears keep
dropping onto the bed sheet. “I’m just so fucked up.”

Carl pulls his lips
into a tight consoling smile. “I know you are, darlin’.
You have to understand that we’re here to help you.”

I nod my head, unable
to speak through my sobs. Eli comes in from the bathroom and rushes
to me, taking up my hand. “What is it?”

“It’s
just…everything,” I whimper.

He pulls me into a hug
and glares at Carl as if it’s his fault. I weep into Eli,
taking in his scent every time I inhale. “It’s not his
fault. It’s mine.”

Carl’s eyes
darken with remorse. “You just have to understand McNab has his
reasons for all the personal rules. He’s incredibly focused on
getting you out of all of this. You need to respect the personal
contact rule;
you
most of all.”

Eli’s grip
loosens slightly. “Are you saying it can rub off?” He
knows how ridiculous he sounds as the words come out.

“For McNab it
can, but you're fine,” Carl answers.

The door opens and I'm
disappointed that it isn't McNab, it's my breakfast. The woman who
brought it in puts it on the table by the bed, taking in the scene in
the room with all the seriousness and my tears. “Do you need me
to get the nurse?”

“No, I’m
fine. Just having a rough morning,” I dry my face and do my
best to force a smile.

“Okay, dear.”
She’s a kind woman; I can see it in her eyes.

“Thank you,”
I call out, but she’s already left the room.

Eli squeezes my hand.
“This is not something you are going to get past with a few
night’s sleep. This is something that is going to take time,
and I’m going to be here for you however you need me.”

All I have to offer is
a tight smile, and my gaze falls to our hands intertwined. “Thank
you, Eli. I know you’re here for me.” Physically, I’m
still beat up, but I’ll be fine. Mentally, I’m a fucking
train wreck and I know that Eli’s right. It’s going to
take time.

Eli takes the top off
the plate, “Try to eat something.”

I pick at the eggs, but
they really aren’t any more appealing than the oatmeal. Carl
stands. “I’m going to go to the cafeteria to get
something to eat. Did you want anything?”

“Please, I’d
love some coffee and just a sandwich or something. I’m not
picky.” Eli pulls a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket and
Carl takes it.

“Okay, did you
want anything?” Carl looks at me.

“If they have a
muffin or some fruit that would be awesome,” I answer, thankful
for his consideration.

Carl leaves the room
and Eli takes my hand. “How did you sleep?”

“Okay, I guess.”
I hesitate because I don’t feel exhausted anymore, but I don’t
feel rested.

“Maybe you can
come home today,” he says with a positive uptick in his tone.

“Hope so.”
I’m doubtful. “I know I have to talk to the shrink.”

“He’s
supposed to be coming in today. Isn’t he?”

I blow out a frustrated
breath. “He was supposed to come yesterday, but I guess he got
too busy.”

“In good time.
You can’t rush this.” His brow furrows with worry.

Dad comes in carrying a
few bags. “Hey Doodlebug.” He crosses the room and takes
Carl’s seat after hugging me too tight.

“Hey Dad.”
I try to smile.

“Did you rest
well?” Here we go with the part where no one knows what to say.
The next thing you know we’ll be talking about the weather.

“Yeah.” I
think for a moment. “Hey, did you bring the art supplies?”

“I did, but I
think we need to talk about it before you start drawing any of that
crazy stuff you’ve been doing.” His tone is laced with
worry and warning.

“Dad, I need to
sketch. It helps me relax.” I pause to try to come up with the
right words. “Also, I don’t want to forget one thing in
Glass’ shed.”

Eli and Dad exchange a
look, but neither of them says anything. The silence stretches on a
tick too long. “What?”

Dad inhales a long
breath. “Honey, I think that going after Glass on this is a bad
idea.” He looks down at the floor.

“Dad, I saw him.
He was there. He did this to me.” I choke back the tears. I
know I can’t let them see me cry, as if my tears will discredit
my words.

“I know what you
think you saw, but I did some checking. Detective Glass was in court
the day you were abducted.” His tone is disappointed. “He
couldn’t have been the one who did this.”

Tunnel vision threatens
at the corners of my eyes and I feel like I’m sinking through
the floor. I can’t hold back the tears anymore, but I keep them
quiet. Slowly I speak with my jaw clenched. “I know what I saw.
He spoke to me, he tied me up, he beat me and spit on me. It was
him.”

“I don’t
know how it could have been, he was in court and accounted for all
day.” Dad repeats it like I’ll accept his words this
time.

“No, so he must
have been working with someone else,” I offer as a solution.

“That is a
possibility,” Eli says, and I can see the gears turning in his
head. I feel some hope that maybe they really will go check.

“So tell me
you’ll please go and see if Glass has a garden shed,” I
plead.

“I’m up for
it, I already told you I would,” Eli says.

I hand Eli the food
tray, clearing space. “Dad, can you give me the pens and sketch
pad, please?”

“Okay.” Dad
doesn’t get it right away, but Eli does. His knowing smile
shows me he’s onto what I’m doing.

The ink flows freely
onto the paper, filling it up with every last detail of the shed: the
window, the workbench, the lawn mower, the car ramps and that fucking
chair I was tied to for days. I wish I could sketch the smell for
them. It won't come off, it's still on me. The smell.

The door opens, and I
assume it’s Carl, but instead a tall slender woman with a red
pageboy haircut and harsh features that match her suit is staring at
me. My first thought is she looks like a real ball buster; my second
thought is about the same. She’s studying me, still at the
door. Dad and Eli are so enthralled watching me, they don’t
hear her come in. “Who are you?” I ask.

“I’m
Miranda Salvo, I’m working with your dad. You must be
Shayleigh.” She glides toward me, extending her leather gloved
hand.

“Shay, and it’s
nice to meet you.” I don’t take her hand, she’s
just a little too off-putting. I also don’t like the way she’s
looking at me, like she’s trying to see
into
me.

“Nice to meet you
too,” she returns, standing directly next to my father,
studying the drawing. “Is this one of your infamous drawings?”

“No, not really.
It’s—”

Eli cuts me off. “She’s
just trying to relax, this isn’t from her dreams or for her
comic.”

Carl enters and stops
short when he sees Miranda. She turns around and acknowledges him.
“Carl.”

“Miranda.”
He says it tight like there’s a rubberband wrapped around his
balls.

Watching them is like a
tennis match, my head shifts back and forth between them. They just
exchange a glare until Carl notices that I’m staring at him.
“Here’s your coffee and sandwich.” He turns to Dad.
“I picked up an extra cup for you, Harry. I figured you’d
be here by the time I got back.” He maneuvers his large body in
between Dad and me, pushing Miranda further away. I find it a little
odd that he seems to be moving Dad out of the chair. He sits and
scoots the chair closer to my bed and hands me a fruit cup without
saying a word.

“So where is your
fearless leader?” Miranda asks, looking at Carl.

“Not here,”
Carl answers simply. He’s so uncomfortable.

“You work with my
dad?” I’m very puzzled in consideration of him being
retired and all.

Dad gets wide eyed and
nervous. “Yes, when I do freelance work. She works with the
same group.”

I eye them both
suspiciously, there’s something that doesn’t seem right
about all this. “Why are you here?” I ask her point
blank.

“I’m here
to help your dad with the investigation of the murders,” she
answers simply. This bitch is holding back.

I shoot a look to my
father, instantly angry. “You are investigating the murders
officially?”

“Yes, honey. I’m
trying to catch the real killer so we can be done with all of this
and clear you once and for all.” He says it like he’s
admitting he forgot to take out the trash. The memory of all the
photos and drawings marked up with sticky notes in his office comes
flooding back.

I inhale a long, deep
breath for the rant I’m about to go on when Carl puts his hand
on my arm. “Shay, we welcome any help in catching the
real
killer.” The look in his eye tells me I need to stay quiet.

“Well, thank
you,” I answer through a disingenuous smirk and look to Carl
for approval.

Eli’s phone
rings, and he looks at the screen. “I need to take this. Will
you be okay while I step outside?”

“Yeah, I’ll
be fine.” I’m amused with how clingy he is, but I’m
also glad he asked.

“I’ll only
be a few minutes.” He looks back at me before opening the door
and leaving.

“
She was sent
to kill you.”
The Specter’s voice is a distant
whisper in my mind. My hand is drawn to the pendant around my neck.

Go away,
I
think, giving the pendant a squeeze. Carl looks at me with concern
wrinkling his brow. I shake my head as subtly as possible.

“I’m very
motivated to end this with a good
clean
resolution,”
Miranda says, putting her hand on my dad’s shoulder. The
gesture feels too familiar.
Weird.

The Specter's voice
persists.
“She is going to kill you.”

Dad answers a knock at
the door. His expression falls with disappointment. I can only
imagine what’s on the other side. “Can this wait?”

“
You should
kill her, now.
” If I don't quiet his voice I'm going to
miss something important, and with everyone and everything being a
threat I need to be on my toes.

“Go Away!”
I didn't mean for that to be out loud.

Everyone looks at me
but hardly regards my outburst. Nice, so now I'm just the crazy girl.

I hear a smooth but
aggressive voice. “I just want to introduce myself and see if
she remembers anything, just while it’s fresh. I won’t be
long.” A tall bear of a man dressed in a cheap suit pushes past
my dad. He walks with purpose to my bed, extending his hand. “Miss
Baynes, I’m Detective Filson with PHPD.”

I’m leery of his
approach and I don’t want to shake his hand. I do anyway
because I don’t want Dad to get pissed at me for being
disrespectful. “Hi,” is all I can manage.

He sits on the end of
the bed and with a concerned expression says, “I’d like
to ask you just a few questions. I know you must still be pretty worn
out from your ordeal.”

“Um, yeah. I
mean, I guess.” I’m at a loss and feeling a little put on
the spot. I know it’s going to be bad if I launch right into
the fact that Detective Glass is the one who took me. I have to
decide here and now how I’m going do this. What will be safest.

“Can you describe
your kidnapper?” he asks, taking out a small leatherbound
notebook and a pen.

You bet I can
describe that piece of shit.
I look around the room at each
person, knowing they all have an agenda of some kind. “You can
trust
no one
in this room but me.” I hear Carl’s
voice in my head. I look over at him. He blinks both eyes slowly and
subtly nods. “It’s me, and I’m telling you, right
now not one of these people has your best interest at heart.”

My gaze shifts to my
dad and I raise my eyebrows questioningly. Carl shakes his head. “Not
even him right now. He just doesn’t realize it.”