INK: Abstraction (9 page)

I nod with thankful
eyes then look up to Eli, hoping he knows what I need. “Do you
want me to help you get in there?”

At some point I know
I’m going to have to speak, but I just don’t have any
words yet. I nod again and he helps me up and into the bathroom. He
turns on the shower and helps me out of the hospital gown I’m
wearing, averting his eyes. He’s always a gentleman. I don’t
have any panties on, I’m sure they went into the evidence bag
with the rest of my clothes.

Eli helps me step into
the shower and sits me down on the chair. The water pours over me and
stings as it flows over the all of the cuts. Looking away from me, he
hands me the soap and wash cloth. I take them but can’t will
myself to move. I drop the soap on the floor and just look at it as
though it’s a thousand miles away. Eli turns when he hears it
fall and picks it up. He tries to hand it to me. I don’t take
it. I just look at him, pleading.

“Do you need me
to help you?” he asks quietly. I nod in response. His kind
hands pour over me, taking care. He’s cautious, always watching
me for a reaction to be sure he’s not doing anything to upset
me. I can’t move. I’m sitting silent letting him clean
me, hoping and praying he can wash away so much more than the dirt
and grime.

My body relaxes into
the comfort of not being tied up, of starting to feel clean again. I
don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve showered,
but it's been way too long. Even though they apparently cleaned me up
when I came in, I'm still covered in grime. I start to believe I’m
home, really home, but there’s a nagging worry that I’m
going to wake up and find that this is just a dream.

The reality of
everything that has happened comes crashing down on me all at once.
My eyes fill with tears and they spill over heavy with fear and
uncertainty. Eli looks down to see me crying and tenderly washes away
my tears. I feel the very last of my innocence wash down the drain
with the grit and blood that covered my body.

Without regard to
getting soaking wet himself he comes closer and holds my face in his
hands. His beautiful blue eyes are red and bloodshot, filled with his
own tears that he’s been crying for me. I can see so many words
of comfort running through his mind that don’t make it to his
lips. Eli looks at me with an incredible sadness. He needs to pull
the pain from within me and wants to try but doesn’t know how.
The sobs pound harder on my chest as I watch his anguish for me.
Watching everything slip away from me that made me feel safe saps the
last of my strength.

My arms won’t
obey my commands to finish cleaning myself. Eli can see it and he
carefully washes my legs one by one. Going slow and watching me for
an indication that I need him to stop. He washes my hair and back
gingerly, working the soap into a lather and then rinsing it away.

As he moves the soapy
cloth down my arms I know he’s soaking in the pain I felt from
each line cut down my skin. He shakes his head in disbelief and looks
into my eyes with a tight smile. “You’re so beautiful.”

I look away to avoid
the lie. He puts his finger under my chin to meet his gaze. “You
are
beautiful. I love you.”

My admiration and love
for him swells in that moment that he could love me even though I’m
nothing but broken.

Harry

Of
everything I’ve been through and seen in my life as a cop and a
father, this is one of the hardest. Seeing Shayleigh so weak and
scared has left a mark on me that I may never be able to reconcile.
Playing the role of the strong father isn’t easy right now when
all I want to do is break down. I can’t, I have to be here for
her to fortify her.

She’s got a long
road of recovery ahead of her and we are fooling ourselves if we
really think this is something she can ever come back from
completely.
Thank God she has Eli
is the only thought that
rolls through my mind as I watch him walk with her to the bathroom.

“Yes,” Carl
says, sitting in the chair. He has dark circles under his eyes and is
clearly exhausted. I’m sure I look about the same.

“What?” I
ask, wondering if I missed something.

“Yes, I’m
so glad she’s here and has Eli,” he says, ticking his
head toward the bathroom door.

McNab stands from the
chair he just sat down in. He can’t seem to hold still and he’s
pacing nervously across the small space in the room. “Yes, I’m
glad we found her.”

That reminds me. “How
did you find her?”

McNab stops dead and
looks at Carl, then me. “We had people monitoring the police
scanners in the area. We got lucky on the call.”

That doesn’t seem
feasible. “How did you get there before the police?”

“I had the GPS
coordinates and I guess we were quicker.” McNab brushes me off.

“Still, that just
seems very odd to me that you would have gotten there first.”

McNab sits down and
looks at Carl, then me. “The call was for a D.B., so I guess
the cops weren’t in any big hurry.”

My heart sinks a little
that whoever found her thought she was dead. “That makes sense,
I guess.”

McNab’s
expression is heavy with seriousness. “I thought she was dead
when I got there. She was lying in the water completely motionless.”

Running that image over
and over in my head is going to drive me crazy. I wish she would
start talking so we can find this bastard. I want him to pay for what
he’s done to her.

“We can’t
push her; she’ll talk about it when she’s ready,”
Carl warns.

There’s a quick
knock on the door and a man, presumably a doctor, walks in. “Hello
there, I’m Dr. Kendrick. You’re her father?” He
looks at me.

“Yes, Harry
Baynes.” I stand up and shake his hand.

Dr. Kendrick looks to
the bathroom and then turns to me. “We got her test results
back. She’s dehydrated and has a concussion. Frankly, I'm
surprised she's awake.” He sits on the round rolling stool and
continues. “We pulled her MRI results from her last visit and
we're concerned about some shadowing we're seeing on the latest scan.
They've grown from the last time she was here.”

“What could it
be?” Jesus, this is not what we need, for Shayleigh to have
brain cancer. Although, that might explain quite a lot. Carl and
McNab exchange a glance; they must be thinking the same thing.

“We’re
going to keep an eye on her for a few days. Do a CT scan and another
MRI.” He looks up at me in earnest. “I’ve already
called mental health and have asked for a psychiatrist to come down
and talk with her. That’s probably going to be the single most
important part of her recovery.”

“I know, I just
hope she’s receptive.” I raise my eyebrows, knowing how
stubborn she can be.

“Hopefully she’ll
get the initial therapy started and keep up with it.” He turns
toward the bathroom door when it opens.

Eli’s clothes are
soaking wet as he braces Shayleigh coming out of the bathroom. She
looks much better cleaned up, but she is still so battered. He
carefully helps her down to the bed when he notices the doctor. He
offers his hand. “Eli Walker.”

“Dr. Kendrick.”
He turns to Shayleigh. “How are you feeling after your shower?”

She smiles and nods
slightly. I feel compelled to answer for her, but I don’t.

“That’s
good.” He approaches her a little too quickly and she tenses
up. Dr. Kendrick smiles with understanding and explains everything
he’s going to do before he does it. “Miss Baynes, I’ve
asked Dr. Green to come and spend some time with you. He specializes
in emotional trauma like what you’ve been through.” He
stops and waits for her reaction. She looks at me then back at Dr.
Kendrick and nods.

“Good. Okay, so
get some rest. I'll be in tomorrow to discuss some of your other test
results. The nurse is going to be in to redress your wounds. If you
need anything else or have any questions please let me know. I’ll
be back to check on you before I go off shift.” He smiles
again, acknowledging each of us in the room before he leaves.

I turn to Shayleigh.
“Do you feel better after your shower?” She just nods in
response. She looks so scared. She settles back into the bed.

McNab stands from the
chair again. “I’m going to see if I can find you some
scrubs.” He looks at Eli then continues. “And maybe a
hairbrush for you, kid.”

Shayleigh smiles and
touches her hair as though she had forgotten it was there. “Thanks,”
Eli says, unbuttoning his shirt.

“Do you need
anything, Harry?”

“I’d love a
cup of coffee.” It’s going to be a long one and I’ll
need as much coffee as I can get my hands on.

“No problem.
Carl.” McNab motions for Carl to follow him and they leave the
room.

It’s just the
three of us. Eli has taken his shirt off and is drying himself with
the towel. Of course he’s not far from Shayleigh’s side.
The room is silent for a long while. None of us knows what to say and
I think we’re waiting for her to talk. Patience is the best we
can do right now. I move around to the opposite side of the bed where
Eli is sitting. I take her hand in mine and she manages a smile.

“Do you need
anything?” I ask, and she shakes her head. “Are you
feeling okay? Are you in pain?”

Her eyes are hooded
over with sadness; the shake of her head is so subtle I almost miss
it. “Are you hungry?” Still she shakes her head no.

Eli warns me with his
eyes, I know he doesn’t want me to push her. I just need to
hear her voice to make sure she’s okay. “Shayleigh, you
don’t have to talk about it now. But I’d really like you
to consider talking to Dr. Green when he comes.”

She expels a breath and
nods. She pulls the blankets up higher and rolls away from me toward
Eli. He looks at me with remorse, then to her. He strokes her hair.
“I love you.”

Her eyes close heavy
and she laces her fingers with Eli’s. She doesn’t open
her eyes, so I assume that she’s just trying to get some rest.
Eli looks at me with disapproval.
God why does this have to be
difficult?

I rest my head back for
a moment and try to get a little bit of rest. I’m getting too
Goddamn old to go this many days without sleep.

***

There’s a slight
knock at the door, waking me from my cat nap. McNab’s back sans
Carl. He’s carrying three big brown bags and a cup of coffee.
He hands me the coffee. The commotion wakes Shayleigh and she rights
herself in the bed. McNab sits toward the end of the bed and begins
unloading one bag. He hands Eli some clothes to change into.

“Thanks man.”
Eli looks at Shayleigh. “I’m going to change, okay?”

She agrees and McNab
picks up his bags and scoots closer to her on the bed with Eli out of
the way. “Okay, what else does Uncle McNab have in his bag of
tricks?” He looks at her and winks. She smiles. He pulls out a
hairbrush, a pair of pajamas and a pack of underwear. “There’s
no accounting for taste, I had a lady at the store pick them out, but
I figured you’d appreciate them.” He hands them to her
and continues digging in his bag. He pulls out three pairs of socks
and some black fluffy slippers. “These I did pick out, I hope
you like them.” Her smile grows wider as she rubs the slippers.

Eli walks in from the
bathroom, tying the drawstring on his pants and stopping to watch
McNab go back into his bag. “What’s all that?”

“Just a few
things she’ll need while she’s here,” McNab answers
then turns his attention back to Shayleigh. “You’ll need
these.” He pulls out a velvet color by number princess picture
with four colored markers in the package. “In case you are
feeling inspired.” Her smile spreads wide enough that her lips
part.

He reaches into another
bag and pulls out several chocolate bars and a six pack of diet soda.
“I was pretty sure these are your favorite chocolate bars, but
just in case, I got a couple of different kinds. Oh, and some Swedish
Fish, I know how you love those.” Her eyes light up even more.

He reaches back in and
takes out a picture frame and puts it on the table next to the bed.
Shayleigh tilts her head quizzically. “That’s for the
signed eight by ten glossy of yours truly.” He slides it out.
“And a Paranormal Transmissions Fan Club starter kit. There’s
a ruler in there, it’s metric.”

Her smile reaches her
eyes and her eyebrows arch in question. McNab turns his attention
back to the bag and pulls out the next thing. “Some bubble wrap
to pass the time,” he pops a few of the bubbles before placing
it on her lap. “And the best thing of all,” he reveals a
plastic food container with a BLT sandwich.

“McNab, you are
ridiculous.” She finally speaks. She’s laughing audibly
now and the light seems to have returned to her. As her laugh winds
down she looks at McNab with sincerity. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, kid.”
The next few moments are awkward when Shayleigh reaches to touch him
and he jumps off the bed. “Carl’s bringing your cell
phone, laptop and flip flops from the house.”

“Thanks.”

Eli is as relieved as I
am that she’s making progress working her way out of the
darkness. But I can tell he’s not happy about not being the one
to draw her out. “Really, McNab?” Eli’s tone is
less than amused.

“What?”
McNab feigns innocence trying to contain a laugh looking at Eli
wearing a Paranormal Transmissions t-shirt. Shayleigh bursts into
full-on laughter when she notices it.

“You couldn’t
find any scrubs or anything else?” he asks, irritated. “Eh,
I figured you’d be more comfortable in one hundred percent
preshrunk cotton.” McNab takes his place in a chair toward the
end of the bed. “It’s tag-less.”

Through her laughter
she says, “I think it suits you, love.”

Eli pulls his mouth to
the side trying hard not to be a stick in the mud. “Yeah, laugh
it up.”