INK: Fine Lines (Book 1) (10 page)

We watched out over the water until our attention was drawn to the dolphins right there next to the dock. They surfaced and bobbed so close I could have touched some of them.

“They’re hunting.” Aiden whispered.

“How do you know?” I asked, turning my head and looking up at him.

“Do you see how they’re positioned and how they appear to be in a formation, closing in toward that center point? Watch, they’ll dive incrementally and then it will happen.” He pointed out over the dark water at the dolphins swimming.

“What?” At that moment hundreds of mullet jumped from the water all at once. It was an amazing display of animal instinct, the sound the spray from their synchronized effort to escape so astounding, so raw and natural. “Wow.”

“Nature is beautiful; even in chaos there is order,” he said simply.

I nodded, nuzzling deeper into the contours of his body, taking in his scent mixed with the ocean breeze.

He leaned down, resting his hot breath on my ear. “You’re beautiful, and I love your chaos. I love everything about you.”

Aiden’s words lit my being on fire to the point of being nearly disoriented. He kissed my cheek, and then moved slowly down my neck. I sank deeper into the ecstasy, my eyes closed; I only wanted to hear and feel him, I didn't want any of my other senses to cloud this moment.

His lips brushed up against my ear. “Shay…” he paused.

“Yes?” I whispered, lost in his touch.

“Be my wife.” He gave my hand a squeeze while sliding a beautiful diamond ring on my finger.

“Aiden.” My mind began to race, I was so caught in the moment I sighed the word, “Yes.”

I turned around to face him, smiling, sharing this special moment. His fingers tangled in my hair, he pulled me in to his lips in what had to be one of the most passionate kisses we had ever shared. He was so different that night, tender and sweet. I really believed him. I really thought he meant it this time. I could feel the smile in his kisses as he playfully tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth.

I twisted around, covering him in desperate kisses and leaning him onto his back. I thought only for a split second about the fact that we were on a public dock. But it was well past midnight and we were in the gazebo at the end, out of sight. Frankly, I didn’t care.

I strategically draped my full skirt over us as I straddled him. I could feel him growing against me. My body pressed down on him. He let out a moan resembling my name. His rough hands caressed my back. I reached down and undid his button-fly jeans, which were at full capacity. My movements grew urgent. I had to have him inside me that minute or I might combust.

“I love you, Aiden.” The words bubbled from deep within me.

“I love you too, Aiden.” A deep gruff voice grumbled from behind us and a very bright flashlight killed the mood. That was the night I met Mark Simmons, the killjoy of all killjoys. A laugh escapes me, remembering that night.

Shay

I climb up into the branches of the crying tree, leaving the memory behind. My laughter rapidly transitions into a river of sorrow which then crests the banks of whatever strength I had left. Cradled in the twisted branches that serve as my perch, I purge as much sorrow as my soul can spare.

After what feels like hours, my eyes have turned swollen and raw. Not one more drop could squeeze out if my life depended on it. I climb out of the tree and wipe my face, trying to regain some composure. Heading toward the riverside reaching the dock, I contemplate going out to the end, to the last place that Aiden proposed to me. The happiness I felt back then isn’t in the gazebo.

The beach then, I muse, passing the swings I’ve played on hundreds of times and soon step onto the sand, my shoes slip off and I walk down to the ocean. It’s cold, shockingly so.

Looking out onto the vast expanse of dark water after midnight gives me a sense of how small I really am in the world. A few blinking lights from ships move in and out of the port, happy people either beginning or ending their cruises to tropical locations. I envy them their simple lives.

“Why is everything so screwed up?” I say out loud, wrapping my arms around myself to stave off the slight chill in the air. I just want to forget everything, even if only for a moment. The rhythm of the ocean lapping on the sand helps me find calm. It’s like a salve after the deluge of sadness I just endured.

The wind blows over me, offering peace. I try to empty my mind, but Eli and Aiden keep invading my meditation. My love for both of them is so real and intense, I can’t imagine my life without either of them, yet right now there’s barely a connection to life at all. Part of me wants both of them to just fade away. Or maybe I’m the one who should fade away. “Find your calm, Shay,” is on repeat in my head.

An icy chill blows through me, shattering the last bit of hope I have of clearing my mind. The wind carries a whisper past my ear. 
“Aiden.”

Did I just hear that? I hear the whisper again. I look around the beach for signs of someone else nearby. The beach is deserted.

“
Hello, my love.”
 The voice comes clearly into my head. I look around, but this is the voice from my dreams. This voice I won’t soon forget, hostile yet smooth, like animal fat melting in caramel.

“Who are you? What do you want?” I say out loud. This is not good; I’m conversing with an imaginary enemy. Why can’t I be normal enough to pull off having an imaginary friend?

“
I want what you want.”
 The air around me sours, and it grows colder. I cover my nose and mouth with my sleeve.

“I find it very hard to believe that we want the same thing. I want you to leave me alone and go away. Get out of my head.” My voice hitches and drops an octave as I speak.

“Just like you, I want Aiden and Eli to go away. Worry not, my love, I’ll be taking care of them very soon.”

Aiden, it’s after Aiden. “Leave him alone!” I demand, very brave considering I can’t move. All I want to do is run to him and make sure that he’s safe.

“Tell me, love, do you think Aiden tastes as good on the inside as he does on the outside?”

My fear turns to resolve. I have to get to Aiden. I will my feet backwards out of the water and bump into something solid. I’m losing my balance 
and
 my mind. Now it’s fight or die. I wheel around to claw at it.

It struggles to grab my arms but my hands swing and scratch wildly at my attacker. I push hard against its manifest form. My determination to save Aiden is more powerful than this thing. The soft sand proves difficult to run in. My footing is clumsy, causing me to land face down on the beach. It grabs at my ankle, digging into my skin. Everything becomes muted, and I’m enveloped in darkness.

I scream at the top of my lungs and I taste the salt and sand filling my mouth. It’s getting harder to breathe. Images of Aiden in various states of gruesome dismemberment fill my mind’s eye. His body upright in the truck with his intestines spilling out onto his lap, his throat cut… Where are his eyes?

“
Oh, love, check the glove box,”
 the voice mocks.

Doing everything in my power to free myself from it I buck and kick for my life, for Aiden’s life. My arms are restrained by the darkness surrounding me. A heavy weight spreads me out to subdue me. I scream louder, knowing my cries are being carried away by the surf. I hear a voice, a kind voice. “Shay, be still.” I’m barely able to move now. My breathing is shallow. My heartbeat thrums wildly in my ear. I have no choice but to comply and be still.

“Shay, I’m going to take the blanket off now.” It’s Aiden’s voice. The realization spirals me into a fit of vertigo that threatens to swallow me. What the hell just happened?

I become still while he gets off me and pulls the blanket up. “What the hell was that, Shay?” He rubs his neck then strains his eyes to confirm the presence of blood on his hand from where my fingernails dug into him.

“I thought you were...” I trail off. He’s never going to believe what I thought. I try to see him in the darkness. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it was you.”

Aiden stands, offering me a hand up. “Let’s get you home.”

The ride home is silent. Aiden doesn’t say a word. I can’t even look at him. I still don’t completely understand what just happened. I have got to get a grip. I may actually be losing my mind.

Shay

As we arrive at my house I notice the police tape surrounding my garage is gone. I’m relieved, but also reminded of what awaits me inside. I’m too tired to deal with it, but if I plan on going to bed anytime soon I’ll have to at least put my bed back together.

Aiden slings his ‘ho bag’ over his shoulder and brings the rifle inside for good measure. Flipping on the light, I’m shocked to see the living room has been reset, everything in its place. I go to my room and find my bed neatly made, right down to throw pillows carefully arranged with a note propped in front of them. I drop my bag, grab the note and head back out to the living room. A sad smile spreads across my lips while I’m walking down the hallway. “Eli,” I say, fanning myself with the envelope.

“Eli what?” Aiden asks.

“The house was trashed. Eli came and put everything back.”

“Eli didn’t do it. I did, while I was waiting for you two to get here from the police station.” Aiden’s tone isn’t as defensive as something like this would ordinarily make him.

I notice under the light that I put some seriously deep gouges on his face and neck. I put Eli’s note unopened on the counter. “Oh Jesus, Aiden, I’m so sorry.” I place my hand on his cheek. He tenses and shies away from my touch. “Let’s get that cleaned up.”

I wet a paper towel to clean his wounds. He stops me, taking my hand. “I’m fine.”

“No you aren’t. I think you may need stitches. It’s still bleeding.” Continuing to dab at his neck, I notice how distant he is.

“Shay, just stop it.” He grabs my wrists, looking me in the eyes. There is a palpable sadness in him. “I’m fine.” He goes to the couch. “Come talk to me.” He pats the couch next to where he’s sitting; I join him. He turns in his seat and takes both of my hands in his. “Shay, first just know that I love you with everything that I am.”

I pull my hands back from his emotional hot coals. I know what’s coming next. He’s winding up for the big ‘see ya.’ I head him off at the pass. “Aiden, you don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to make any excuses; just go.”

“No, I don’t want to go.” Aiden lets out a frustrated groan. “Just stop and listen to me for a minute.”

Inhaling deeply, I take a mental inventory and brace myself. I put my wall up and promise myself I won’t cry, no matter what he says. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“I know I’ve been gone for a while, and there was a reason for that. It had nothing to do with you.” He pauses for a moment. “Well, it did have to do with you, but not how you think.” This was so foreign for Aiden. He was typically the conductor of a finely-tuned orchestra of all the world’s words, phrases, and lies, but for some reason now he was tripping over his own tongue.

“Aiden-”

He cuts me off. “Listen, I’m really worried about you.” He says the words as though they’re shameful. “I really don’t want to complicate things for you, but I want to be here with you. I want to see you through this.”

“I don’t have any expectations. If you want to go you can, I’m going to be fine. Remember, I bounce!” I smile but I can’t hide the sadness in my eyes. I want to give him every out I can.

“I don’t want to leave. I never want to leave, I just can’t...couldn’t stop myself.” Aiden confesses. I’m astounded—I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “That’s why I stayed away for so long this time, because I made a promise to you the last night we were together before I left.”

It is incredibly difficult for me to not be angry with him picking at the scabbed wound of his last betrayal. Just having tried to claw his face off is the only thing that is saving him from some choice words. “The same promise you always make right before you leave.” I turn away from him, facing forward on the couch.

“I made a different promise last time.” He swallows hard. “You were sleeping, you looked so beautiful, and even though I was filled with euphoria and felt like the luckiest man on the planet because you said ‘yes,’ I couldn’t stop myself from bolting.” He was fidgeting with his fingernails. “Shay, that’s when I realized that I have a problem, a problem that I need to solve before we can be together. I can’t come back to you until I’m whole.”

I roll my eyes, dubious at best. “So are you saying you’re whole now?”

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that you need me now. I’m here for you and I’m going to do my best to be here for you however I can.” He puts his hand under my chin, turning me toward him. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m broken, and I know I’ve broken you. I want to fix it.”

“I needed you when you made all of those empty promises. I haven’t needed you for a long time, and I don’t need you now.” Frankly, this new Aiden is so far removed from the one that I know I can’t help but wonder if I’m having some kind of hallucination. “Aiden, do you really think I’m looking for a knight in shining armor, or anyone for that matter, who can ‘fix’ me?”

“I’m not trying to fix you. I want to help you. But I think you need a different kind of help.” He looks down at his hands, lowering his voice. “I think you need professional help.”