Inner Guidance (11 page)

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Realizing he was actually posing the question to me, I listened inwardly for just a moment. The inner guidance was still strong. I confidently affirmed that my sister’s condition was indeed an aneurysm. In this heightened state of awareness and inner guidance, I just knew. I didn’t know how; I didn’t care. I just trusted what I was feeling.

He asked me, “If I told you the names of several types of aneurysms, do you think you could help determine what kind it is?”

“Yes,” I answered quickly before my mind could even begin to censor the reply. The doctor began to name various conditions, and when he spoke about hereditary aneurysms, I stopped him.

“That’s it,” I replied confidently. He nodded. This was apparently an important clue for him in piecing together my sister’s current condition and how to approach it.

This was also illuminating information for me. A hereditary condition meant that Debbe had carried this condition all her life. I suddenly remembered a feeling I had as a child—that there was something physically wrong with my sister and that she needed help. Somehow, I had known. Even as a child, I had wanted to help my sister if I could, and often I asked God to use me for that purpose, if possible.

Had that time now come?

O
ne of my favorite passages in the writings of Eckankar explains just what I was experiencing at that moment. Harold Klemp writes:

The ECK also works in ways of protection. It can come so quietly that we often overlook the message It carries: how to protect ourselves and Inner Guidance_CH 06-10.p65

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avoid unnecessary problems. We overlook the

message because our state of consciousness hasn’t quite expanded into the next circle of awareness.

But when it does, we then get a bigger picture of life and a better idea of how the ECK is talking to us. When your inner feeling says, How about going left here a couple of steps, then right, then two more to the left, it’s the ECK or the Mahanta trying to guide you through life. And because you are being guided by the spiritual power, you will be led in a better direction than the highest degree of reason-ing could ever hope to steer you.12

My job was just to listen and follow the guidance.

But it also occurred to me at that moment to ask the doctor why he was paying attention to what I said. It did not seem reasonable. Why would a surgeon from a top hospital be consulting with a young schoolteacher with no medical background?

In an urgent tone, he explained, “I’ve seen this before.

You’re having a spiritual experience. Right now you probably know more about what is going on than anyone else. In these circumstances, others sometimes know more than a doctor possibly could. If you believe there is an aneurysm located where you described it, I am prepared to operate. And hopefully your sister will live.”

The doctor’s conviction and acceptance helped me grow even more confident. I decided it was time to follow the fifth instruction I had received: “You must tell everyone concerned, ‘This is not death.’”

“She will live,” I told him. “She’s not supposed to be dying.”

Again the doctor nodded in confirmation of what I was telling him, and he smiled. He explained that operating was the only chance that my sister had to recover. My mom and I agreed to sign the papers allow-Inner Guidance_CH 06-10.p65

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ing the doctor to perform the surgery immediately.

Debbe’s operation took hours, but indeed the aneurysm was discovered. The doctor emerged afterward and told us that the surgery was a success and that the operation had gone smoothly. We were elated. Debbe was alive and well, and things had unfolded even better than the doctor had imagined.

Debbe was talking to us as soon as she came out of recovery. The doctor was very happy with her prognosis, and it was evident my sister was on the road to recovery.

Soon, she could walk, talk, read, and write, and she seemed basically unimpaired. In fact, Debbe astounded everyone with her remarkable progress. Days passed, and her rapid recovery and healing continued, although she still had to spend several weeks in the hospital.

S
oon after I returned home, however, a shocking incident occurred. During the night, Debbe woke up and stepped out of her hospital bed. She managed to walk down the empty hallway, stumble, fall, and hit her head.

The trauma caused a stroke, instantly paralyzing her on one side. The doctor believed the paralysis was caused by additional bleeding within the brain, which damaged adjacent, delicate brain tissue. As a result of the injury, Debbe could no longer walk properly, and her speech became slurred. She couldn’t use her left arm or hand at all.

We were all deeply saddened. Everything had gone so extraordinarily well. Why this? Why had heaven and earth been moved to help Debbe, only to now have her facing such a demoralizing setback?

Yet, I remembered points number six and seven:

“After this experience, this person will be better off than ever before. However, it will not appear to be so.”

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Was Debbe, in fact, better off than ever before, whether it appeared that way or not? I tried to understand what it was that my sister had to gain from this experience—what could possibly be to her spiritual advantage. I began to contemplate the challenges and the changes that this new development might bring to Debbe. What might the true blessings be? It was beyond my understanding.

The inner guidance I’d received was so very clear that I surrendered to its wisdom. I believed that somehow we would eventually see the blessings, despite the apparent difficulties Debbe was experiencing.

D
ebbe’s rehabilitation began after a short recovery time. She was scheduled to have physical, occupational, and speech therapy, which would continue for several months. There was a lengthy struggle to regain use of her left leg. She had the help of her therapists and doctors, but most of the work was solitary and difficult. Debbe grew in strength and determination.

In some ways, life had often been very easy for Debbe before this. She was popular, beautiful, and gifted in school—intellectually brilliant, passing every class with ease. She had easily found employment on Wall Street in New York’s banking industry. Life had been Debbe’s oyster.

Now, though, we could only stand by and watch, as Debbe made the Herculean effort required for her recovery. Through this time, she grew stronger in spirit.

She was positive and did everything she needed for her fullest possible recovery. Her life was harder than it had ever been, yet now she was more open to God than ever before and saw miracles working in her life. One of the biggest gifts she received was through her own struggle.

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She was learning patience, as well as compassion for others. I began to recognize that yes, Debbe was better off than ever before.

And this transformation gave her a special sweetness as another chapter unfolded in her life. During her struggle to learn to walk, drive, be independent, and return to work, suddenly she fell in love. Marty was good for her, treating her with consideration and kindness, and soon they were married. And, as time passed, Debbe gave birth to a son, Joey. She was, at that point, happier than I had ever seen her.

A
fter this experience with Debbe, I returned to my classes and my students and Jon. As I resumed my normal routine and moved with balance back into my career and friendships, the mystical experiences, the spiritual guidance, and the classroom drama continued to unfold.

Not surprisingly, my spiritual experiences only intensified. I had discovered how our inner guidance can protect us and those we love. It was beginning to dawn on me that such inner guidance is universally available to everyone—a gift from God—to help us learn to love more unconditionally. The time with Debbe highlighted what I was to learn more about later in Eckankar: there are solutions to our questions, issues, and problems that are beyond anything we can reason with our magnificent, yet not infinite minds.

And the most valuable lesson of all? It was number ten in my instructions, and it moved me to a new optimism and enthusiasm for life, born of faith and trust:

“Remember, everything is always happening exactly as it should, whether it appears that way or not.”

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Saying Yes to the Great

Adventure of Life:

Inner Guidance

Opens Amazing Doors

Seize the moment, seize the day—and em-

brace life with joy and wonder. The ECK teachings offer you a simple way to enjoy life to the
fullest measure: the Spiritual Exercises of ECK.

Do them daily, do them well. For they bring love.

—Harold Klemp

The Living Word
, Book 213

W
e were standing in the principal’s office—

four teachers who all knew that one of us

was about to be asked to volunteer. “So who’s it going to be?” the principal demanded. No extra pay and give up a Saturday.
Not a great idea,
I thought. He was asking for a volunteer to escort a small group of top students to a scholarship competition.

The test was over an hour’s drive away, on a Saturday during summer vacation, which was about to begin.
Nope, not me
, I inwardly responded as I turned to step away.

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Then I heard the still, quiet voice, more like a nudge than direct inner guidance. But it was there.

Oh, no! I was being
guided
to volunteer? Give up a whole day off for students I worked with all week?

Sometimes when we give to others, when we are willing to serve, we discover greater gifts waiting for us, more valuable than anything we might give. Whatever we give is returned to us many times over. We do not give for that reason, but it is a spiritual principle that is always working in our lives, whether we are aware of it or not.

Apparently, I was being guided to give.

Actually, I felt as if I were being pushed from behind—shoved, ever so gently—by the Inner Master.

Could such a moment be worthy of the attention of the Mahanta, my inner guide? Yet, in truth, nothing is too minor for the Mahanta’s loving attention.

Suddenly it did not matter that the test was being given in a remote school located in the Indiana coun-tryside or that there was a long drive involved. Hesitating for only a moment, I sighed and spoke up.

“I’ll do it,” I replied quietly. I confirmed with the principal my willingness to take on this extracurricular mission.

In even the smallest things, as we learn to follow the lead of our inner guidance, we find the wisdom and gifts of the universe waiting for us.

W
hen we arrived at the school, I was told that they had all the teachers they needed to help with the testing. The tests were to last four hours, so I was going to be free for most of the day, yet I was asked not to leave the campus.

The students and I had a bit of free time before Inner Guidance_CH 06-10.p65

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testing was to begin, so we explored the school. I quietly pondered my options as we checked out the place. The students asked me what I would be doing all day. The school library and classrooms were locked up tightly. I had not brought a book to read.

I started to express a regret—to say I wish I’d known and at least brought a book with me. Instead, I stopped myself and corrected my thoughts before they were expressed. I’d been talking with my students about the principle of expecting the best and selecting our thoughts wisely. This looked like a good time to make a conscious choice in the direction I was being guided—away from regret and toward trust and service, with a happy attitude.

Outside, through the windows, I saw tall, majestic trees surrounding the school property. Among them were wide paths stretching out in all directions. I would make the best of the time I had here and spend it relaxing and enjoying nature. I told the students I was delighted at the prospect of a long walk.

As we waited for the testing to begin, we saw a vending machine outside the cafeteria and descended upon it. I decided to buy a snack to take on my walk.

There was the usual assortment of candy, with only one healthy exception: in the bottom row of the machine, there were plain brown bags of peanuts in the shell.

After depositing my coins and grabbing up a large bag of peanuts, I giggled and shared with the students the whimsical thought that popped into my mind.

“Now if only I had an elephant to share all these peanuts,” I said, “life would be perfect!”

We all laughed.

I wished them well and watched as the students were ushered into the testing room.

Wandering outside into the fresh air and bright day, I took my treat to the back of the school. Several trails Inner Guidance_CH 06-10.p65

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covered with natural wood chips lay before me. The widest pathway was off to the left.

As I turned to set off in that direction, my eyes grew wide in amazement.

There, not far from me, stood an elephant!

Looking all around, I saw no one else. This elephant could not be a school mascot, so why was it here? It was loose and just standing there. Someone responsible for this lovely animal had to be close by.