Inner Guidance (6 page)

An inner voice of reason came from one of the students. “Let’s read it! Maybe the answers are in the book.

Shall we read it?” she asked cheerfully.

We all agreed, and read it we did. I stopped writing on the board and started reading aloud from this book at the end of every class. We read after class and before class. We read the chapters over and over again.

In conducting our spiritual research, we had collected a large number of mystical and metaphysical books which now lined shelves in the classroom. Yet
we all agreed that nothing even came close to this new book.

Each riveting chapter brought wisdom, insights, and ideas that we had only begun to explore from the quotes around the room.

We read the intriguing paragraphs over and over again, and always they seemed new. The book seemed enchanted to us; it was like a fountain of wisdom.

Here we had a collection of all the truths in the universe in one small book. The author’s writing had an otherworldly quality to it, an energy all its own. And the material answered so many of our questions. The presentation of the information was inspirational and poetic.

The students and I all agreed on this. We loved it!

The book told very little about the author, a man Inner Guidance_CH 01-05.p65

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Inner Guidance: Our Divine Birthright

named Paul Twitchell, and provided no way for us to find out more about him or this teaching called Eckankar.

I began to do some research with my librarian friend and finally discovered that Paul Twitchell had passed away in 1971—several years earlier. That was all I could find. I gave her the title of the book, and she was going to try to find a copy for herself.

At first, I was too absorbed in the book to think of it, but weeks later it finally dawned on me that I should contact the substitute teacher to at least thank him—

and maybe find out what else he knew. Yet, he was nowhere to be found. Apparently, he had moved right after I met him.

All we had was the book—our one outer link to a greater understanding of the mysteries of life.

M
any things happened in quick succession after I read the book by Paul Twitchell. My spiritual experiences began to mount as I pored through the book again and again. I applied myself to the spiritual exercises I read about and rejoiced in the results.

And things happened in my outer life as well. My spiritual gains were reflected throughout my professional and personal life. I won an educational grant in journalism, and I was paid to accompany my very excited high-school journalism staff to a summer program at a major university. We all received scholarships for further study. The students won all the top awards, and our school gained recognition. I made enough extra money to take a carefree vacation, and life was delightful.

While I was on vacation, I carefully reread

ECKANKAR—The Key to Secret Worlds
, looking for clari-fication of many of the mysteries I had been experiencing. From it, I gleaned an understanding of the timeless Inner Guidance_CH 01-05.p65

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A Dramatic Welcome to a Life-Changing

Teaching: Inner Guidance Answers the Call of Soul 39

principles of Eckankar, an ancient spiritual path. I marveled at how much of life was illuminated with such simplicity. Mysterious and lofty though it might have seemed, it now made wonderful sense to me. Through my own experience, I had seen many of the principles found in this book illustrated in my life.

I now understood the quote-writing phenomenon in the classroom as a form of inner guidance. As I offered a simple prayer to be shown truth each day before entering the classroom, I was helping to open a door to great wisdom. Now I was beginning to see that there was inner guidance for my every move.

But I did not yet know that Eckankar, with all the wisdom and blessings it brought, was part of something even bigger—that it was an ancient path emerging as a modern spiritual teaching, and that it answered the call of Soul for greater truth.

God was leading me down this road to discovering more of who and what I am, as Soul. And my next step was to begin resolving karmic conditions—past memories and debts that held me back from fulfilling my spiritual mission.

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5

You Will Have a Child

Before You Are Thirty:

Inner Guidance and Prophecy

Once an individual makes a commitment to
hold true to the teachings of ECK and follow the
words of the Living ECK Master, it is a sure thing
he will see his outer life run in new directions.

The Law of Destiny, which has dictated the direction of his life to this point, is dismantled. The
power is taken from that mechanism. A whole
new chapter is begun when the Master turns the
page in the Book of Life.

—Harold Klemp

The Spiritual Laws of Life
7

N
o one asks you to follow the path of Eckankar or make a commitment to these

spiritual studies. You may hear about the

ECK teachings from a friend or loved one, or you may read a book or attend a presentation for the public; yet following this path is always a choice you make for yourself with absolute spiritual freedom. It is a private and personal decision.

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Inner Guidance: Our Divine Birthright

When we make that decision, in many respects that is when the fun begins. My life may have looked topsy-turvy to some people, but to me it was exciting, intriguing, and full of spiritual blessings.

Yet imagine my bewilderment when, sitting at a stoplight after school, an inner voice announced, “You will have a child before you are thirty, and it will change your life!”

A wave of sadness filled me. I could not have children. Three different gynecologists had already explained this to me. I had made peace with it. Anyway, I was still single.

I sat there at the traffic light and shook my head from side to side. Alone in my car, I replied out loud to the inner voice, “Sorry, no child. I
cannot
have children.”

The voice came again—inner guidance, loud and clear. “You will have a child before you are thirty, and it will change your life.” The message was plain and deliberate. I did not hear it like an outer voice, but there was no mistaking the inner message.

Having a child was a long-held inner desire I had never examined. It was a wish I had never even considered possible, a dream I had never allowed myself to believe was achievable. So I was reluctant to give the inner sensation any credence. My response to this profound inner message, even to myself, was self-protective and glib.

“I wonder what
that
is about?” I questioned aloud.

A child? This inner guidance was beyond my comprehension.

I began to mull it over. Could it mean something other than actually having a baby? Could it mean a student—a child who would somehow come into my life and become very important to me? I was in my late twenties, so time was running out to have a child before Inner Guidance_CH 01-05.p65

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I was thirty. I would have to meet someone, date, fall in love, marry, conceive a child, and deliver, all within the next few years! If I were going to have a baby of my own, despite the gynecological prognosis against me, I would have to get very busy right away.

I laughed dismissively as the light changed and I drove off.

B
y now, I had a working knowledge regarding inner nudges, subtle inner whisperings, and prophetic dreams of life. All wonderful forms of inner guidance, I believed they were a blessing and an important aspect of one’s relationship with God.

I was happy to accept with gratitude the guidance I readily received, but I did not always immediately understand the intent of the messages. I was appreciative of the help and direction, yet sometimes a little confused. And occasionally, I did not like what I heard.

Yet I was sure these messages contained wisdom that I needed, and I had come to treasure their presence in my life.

Every day the Divine reaches out to us, if we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. I knew that, and I cultivated an even closer relationship with God via the spiritual exercises I learned through the teachings of Eckankar. They gave me a deeper understanding of how God talks to us in myriad ways.

But a baby? On that day, I would not even consider it further. Such a notion was completely foreign!

Besides, I had my career to think of.

“
T
he school board would like to talk with you,”

said the principal’s assistant.

I was about to face an unexpected challenge. Yet on Inner Guidance_CH 01-05.p65

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Inner Guidance: Our Divine Birthright

this day, I was not concerned in the least. I knew how hard I was working in my teaching career and what great strides the students were making. The school board must have heard how many students were petitioning to be in my English classes. They wanted to congratulate me!

At the meeting, the board members were very

friendly as they invited me to take a seat. One of the trustees complimented me on another successful year of teaching. He told me the head of the department reported that I was doing an excellent job. I thanked him and said how much I was truly enjoying my work.

Then, without warning, the mood shifted. The chairman of the board informed me that he had also heard there were many extracurricular activities occurring in my classes. I considered this a good thing and eagerly nodded in affirmation.

But my enthusiasm was quickly deflated. Although the board appreciated all the extra work I was doing, they would prefer that I stick to the recommended curriculum. There had been questions recently, both from parents and from other teachers. What was going on in my classrooms? I was not being asked to answer that; the board chairman simply continued.

“If you will just teach the traditional curriculum,”

he told me with a pleasant smile, “the board is prepared to offer you another contract for next year.”

The implication was obvious and shocking. If I did
not
agree to what they were asking, they would not be rehiring me! My precious job was in jeopardy.

Why on earth had there been complaints? Perhaps there weren’t complaints; perhaps there was just too much energy, enthusiasm, and buzz about my classes.

But no one wanted to allow me to defend myself or explain. Something was wrong, and I felt deflated and disappointed.

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I tried to quickly sort this out in my mind. How could I agree to teach a curriculum that would have less impact and benefit than what I now presented? I was confident that my students were receiving enormous advantages from my classes. Some of these teens had been transformed from poor students, totally lacking enthusiasm, to excellent, highly motivated scholars. I longed to find the perfect words so that I could express to this board the efficacy of my approach to teaching. Instead, there seemed to be a gulf between my conscious mind and the shock that my emotions were experiencing at that moment. I did not know what on earth to say or do!

The board patiently awaited my response. I knew this challenge was linked to the classroom presenta-tions of the mystery quotes. In those few moments, questions raced through my mind.
Do I actually want
to know and teach truth? How much do I really want
it? And at what price? How great is my desire?

Suddenly and almost imperceptibly, I felt an inner nudge. I decided to follow this guidance. Based on my response at this moment, the school district would either support me or simply let me go for the coming year.

I would be fired! But, could I find a creative way to express what I felt and somehow help the situation move to a new level?

I surrendered to Divine Spirit as best I could, and my mouth unexpectedly seemed to take on a life of its own. It was the exact sensation that I had felt in my classroom when writing the quotes on the chalkboard.

Smiling nervously as I addressed the school board, I thanked them. “I appreciate the compliments you have given me for my teaching. I am working harder than I ever imagined possible, and yet I truly love it. I am certain that if you knew and understood how much I am giving to my students and to my career, you would Inner Guidance_CH 01-05.p65

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Inner Guidance: Our Divine Birthright

never want me to do less. I couldn’t possibly give less than my best, and I am sure you would not ask that of me. Besides, I do not have it in my nature to do that.

“I am confident that if you really understood what was happening in my classes, you wouldn’t ask me to do
anything
differently. I am also sure that if you do not want me here, someone else
will
want and appreciate what I have to offer. At any rate, the choice is yours. I continue teaching as I have been trained—to be the best I can be—or I go elsewhere. Please let me know what you decide. I thank all of you for the opportunity to meet like this!”

After shaking hands with the chairman of the board, I turned and walked out of the meeting.

The ball was back in their court. I felt very pleased about the meeting, until I’d walked out the door. Then my rational mind kicked in, and the realization of what I’d just done hit me. Teaching jobs were scarce all over the country, and I had very possibly jeopardized my contract for next year. Maybe I had even resigned! I really wasn’t sure.

A
fter that, I didn’t think anymore about the inner message about having a child. I just focused on the school year ending and on cleaning up my classroom.