Innocence (23 page)

“Ask me anything.”

Impulsively, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. It was the first time she had initiated a display of affection between them, and his mouth curved in response. Refusing to become distracted, despite how a simple smile could light up his face, Lisa took him up on his offer.

“Nathaniel, you must promise me, on your word of honour as a gentleman, no matter what happens between us in the future—if you tire of me or I anger you—you will never send me to a brothel. I’ll remain in service the rest of my days if necessary, but please, don’t ever force me to work in one of those places.”

Nathaniel paled. “You think I would do that to you?”

“There are almost no other options for a girl in my position if she loses her place of employment. You might believe reputation is not an issue for one of my class, but you’re wrong. Once a girl is deemed a
whore
, there’s no going back to respectability.”

He swore, the harsh expletive causing Lisa to flinch. She had thought herself immune to bad language, but some words still held the power to shock.

“I’m so sorry, Lisa. I’ve been a fool. To think you’ve had all afternoon to worry about such things.” He rubbed her arms as he spoke. “Do you not understand what it is I’ve offered you? What it means to be the mistress to a man of my station?”

“You said we would spend time together and that you’d protect any children we might have. But I don’t understand the
how
of it. What will I do when we leave here? Will I work as a maid or kitchen hand in your house in the city? I’m more than willing to earn my keep. In fact, I think I would prefer it. I’m not sure how well I’d cope if I were required to stay sequestered in my room all day.”

“You really don’t
understand, do you?” He shook his head. “Lisa, you are to have your
own
home. My agents will start searching for a suitable property as soon as they receive the directives I’ve sent. I have asked them to find a good-sized house with a pleasant outlook not far from one of the main parks. You’ll have your own staff, a fine carriage and stable of horses, and a very generous allowance. You didn’t realise any of this?”

“How could I?” She huffed. “I had no idea gentlemen even
had
mistresses let alone what they did for them. If I’m to have my own home, where will you be?”
 

“With
you
, of course. I’m not planning on setting you up in Town and then ignoring you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’d move you in with me to Stanton House if I could, but there’s the slight matter of
discretion
I mentioned.”

“Stanton House?”

“My father’s London home. It’s where I usually stay when I’m visiting the city. The damned pile is big enough to house a dozen families and their staff, but not exactly suitable for the two of us.”

“No, of course not,” she murmured.
 

“I can’t wait to show you my country seat. It’s being extensively renovated and the gardens are a delight.”
 

His enthusiasm was contagious, but Lisa’s smile faded at his next words.
 

“You won’t be able to remain living there with me indefinitely, of course, but I’ll find a place for you nearby when it becomes an issue.”

Lisa imagined he was referring to when he married, as she gathered even a philandering lord wouldn’t go so far as to keep wife and mistress under the same roof. Putting the distressing thought aside, she focused on issues closer to hand.
 

“Will I have to spend time with any of your friends?”
 

“I’m afraid not. As I’ve said, I would love to show you off to all of London, but . . .”

“No! That’s a
good
thing.” She rushed to assure him. “I would prefer not to spend time with other lords or members of the nobility at all.”

 
“Are you worried they may be disrespectful? Despite what happened this morning, I can assure you, Lisa, I won’t brook that sort of treatment of you in future.”

“But how would you stop them from saying things and attempting to take liberties?” While concerns were real, they masked her ultimate fear of having her true identity revealed.

Nathaniel sighed. “I will do my utmost to protect you, Lisa. Unfortunately, keeping you hidden may be the price we have to pay to guarantee your safety and safeguard my political responsibilities. But there are many places I can still take you and people we can mix with amongst the
demimonde
. You won’t be bored or lonely, sweetheart, I’ll make sure of it.”

“What exactly
is
the
demimonde
?”
 

“A rather unique grouping of individuals.” Nathaniel chuckled wryly. “Many are hedonists, hell bent on a life of pleasure and excess. But there are others—writers, poets, thespians—creative and talented sorts who would welcome you amongst their number. I think you’ll find them interesting, and I know they’ll adore you . . .”

“But?” Lisa prompted when he hesitated.

“I fear your beauty and wit will set you apart even amongst such an elite group. You
could
become a highly sought-after courtesan if that were your preference.” He eyed her warily.

“But I only want you, Nathaniel.” Lisa clutched his arm. She had not heard the term before, but believed she knew enough to infer its meaning.

“As
I
only want you.”
 

He lifted her onto his lap, and she smiled to be back in the place that was fast becoming a favourite of hers also. The warmth and security of his embrace tempted her to put her cares aside, but she could not ignore what he had said earlier.

“The issues we’ll face. You were speaking of when you’ll be required to take a wife?”
 

“Let’s not worry about that, shall we?” Nathaniel grimaced. “I’d rather we enjoyed our time together unencumbered with burdens we are not yet required to bear.”

Lisa nodded despondently. It pained her to know the vast majority of gentleman compromised the values they espoused, readily breaking the vows of fidelity they made to their brides. Honour, something she had been raised to believe was a straightforward and easily recognised virtue, seemed a rather fluid commodity in the world of the upper
ton
.

“Is there a problem?” he asked after she had remained silent for a while.

“No, I’m fine.” Lisa’s heart broke a little knowing their time together must come to an end, one way or another. She was tempted by the future he offered—a house of her own, financial security, a place in the world . . . of sorts—but her conscience would never allow her to continue as his mistress once he was wed to another. Not that she would be able to stay with Nathaniel until then.

Despite his assertion he would be able to keep her existence hidden, she didn’t think it realistic. Lisa’s reputation might have already been damaged by Lord Copeland’s baseless accusations, but surely there must be
some
doubt in society’s mind about her guilt. If her current situation and circumstances were revealed, the shame she would bring on her father’s name was incalculable. Not to mention the risk she faced of ending up imprisoned—
or worse—
for a crime she had not committed
.

Sighing, she faced the painful reality she could no longer avoid. At some point, she would have to leave Nathaniel and disappear altogether. For
now
, she was determined to make the most of every minute she had with the man she would love forever, whether they were together or apart.

“Do you have any more questions?” Nathaniel asked.

Her fingers traced idle patterns on his silk shirt while she contemplated the many things she still wanted to learn. The social reform Nathaniel and his father were working towards were of particular interest, especially any changes that would protect vulnerable young women.
 

Lisa was determined to do whatever she could to see that Ruth was kept safe from now on. It would be wonderful to have her continue on as her lady’s maid after she left Worthington Hall, but only if Ruth was interested. She had no intention of forcing her to a life not of her choosing. The maid had feelings for Ben—a miracle in Lisa’s mind considering all she had suffered—but she didn’t know if he would be able to accompany them.
 

Then there was Sam. He worked for Nathaniel, now, and she hoped to have a positive influence in the life of her young friend, as much as was possible now that she was a mistress. The boy was bright, and she would love to see him receive a proper education.

“Lisa?”
 

At Nathaniel’s prompting, she boldly kissed his lips. Her action pleased him if his groan and the way he tightened his hold upon her was any indication.

“Yes, I have more questions and some favours to ask,” she said when she broke away.
 

“Favours? Anything, sweetheart, anything at all.”

Ducking her head, Lisa smiled. She would be holding him to his word. Despite her lack of experience, she had enough feminine wiles—as she vaguely remembered her mother calling them—to know that waiting until
after
they had made love might be the better time to gain the concessions she wanted for Ruth and Sam.

“It can wait,” she whispered huskily. “There’ll be time to talk . . .
after
.”

Nathaniel stood and strode with her in his arms towards the bedroom, the perfect answer for now.

Chapter 20

Oh . . . My . . .
 

Halting in the middle of the bedroom, Nathaniel let Lisa slide down his body until her feet touched the floor.
 

“Don’t ever leave me,” he said roughly, and her gaze shot to his face. It was as if he had intuited her thoughts.
 

“Lisa?” He frowned when she didn’t respond. “Now that I’ve found you, I could never let you go. Living without you would be untenable.”

“For me, too.” She lifted up on tiptoes, kissing him tenderly in place of the commitment she could not give. Wanting to distract him, and eager to feel his skin beneath her fingers, she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.
 

He hissed, watching her slip them free one by one before he pulled the shirt over his head to toss it aside.

Lisa reached for him, but he turned her in his arms to face the dressing table, their images reflected in the mirror.

“You are utterly adorable.” He leaned down to kiss the curve of her shoulder. “My heart nearly stopped when I saw you in this dress. For a moment, I thought I might have accidentally deflowered a society maiden, not a delectable girl who can only benefit from our alliance.”

Lisa flinched at how close he had come to the truth.

“Don’t worry. I
will
take care of you. I promise.”
 

After releasing the buttons that ran down the back of her gown, Nathaniel let it fall from her shoulders to balloon around her feet. With her hair piled high, and dressed in a sheer, silk chemise—
sans
corset, which, of course, added credence to his belief she was of common heritage—she felt both vulnerable and desirable.
 

“Lisa,” he whispered hoarsely.
 

Capturing the hem of her chemise, he swept it over her head leaving her standing in a pair of lacy pantaloons, silk stockings, slippers and nothing else. He cupped her bare breasts, and she moaned.

“You like it when I do that.”
 

His gaze met hers in the mirror, and Lisa nodded, her hands rising to cover his. When he turned her in his arms, she rose up on tiptoe, eager for his kiss. She couldn’t get enough of his taste, his warmth, the feel of his hands cupping her bottom and pulling her against him.

“You’re so lovely.” He breathed the words against her lips, and she angled her head so he could kiss the curve of her neck, another favourite place. When her hands trailed a path down his taut belly to the waistband of his breeches, he lifted his head to watch. But when her fingers went to work on the buttons, he stilled her hands.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” She looked up at him uncertainly.

“I would
love
for you to touch me, but let’s leave that for a little later, shall we?”

“Why?” Lisa pouted. “I want to please you.”

“You do please me,
immensely
, but I have plans for tonight and a promise to fulfil.”
 

“What promise?”
 

She stroked her fingers back up his belly, and a tremor ran through him.

“I promised to kiss every single square inch of your body.”
 

Rendered speechless at the idea, Lisa let him guide her to the bed where Nathaniel removed the remainder of her clothing, his fingers caressing her skin as it was bared to him.

“Let it down for me?” he whispered, twining a curl of red hair around his fingers.
 

Reaching to remove the clips that held it in place, her breasts lifted high as her hair tumbled past her shoulders.
 

Groaning, Nathaniel tugged her close for a brief embrace before helping her onto the bed. Lying naked before him, Lisa refused to succumb to shyness and cover herself. The hunger she saw in his eyes as his gaze roamed her body drew a whimper from her lips, one she repeated when he removed the rest of his clothing.