Insatiable (20 page)

Hello, not a dream.

She tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry. “Shawn?”

In lieu of an answer, he lazily cupped her breast, thumb flicking her nipple.

She bit her lip, wedging her thighs together even tighter. Her skin felt abraded. Raw almost. Surely she hadn‟t rubbed her legs together
that
much? “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

“I was having a dream of my own.” He turned his mouth against her neck and gave her a slow, sleepy lick. “Is it time for you to go work out?”

“I think I already burned off some calories.”

His drowsy chuckle confirmed her suspicions as she turned in his embrace to study him in the early-morning light. He still hadn‟t opened his eyes, but the softness of his features was evidence enough he was as content as she.

She sighed. If what she had were merely
feelings
, would she feel this happy?

This cherished and safe? And did she even dare ask herself such a question?

She laid a hand on his jaw, trailing her fingertips over bristly stubble and warm, smooth skin. “I dreamed about you.”
Not the first time either
, though she didn‟t voice the rest aloud.

No need to make him even more cocky than he already was.

Curving his arm more tightly around her, he opened his eyes. His warm green gaze shifted over her face. “I heard.”

“I‟m…uh, sorry I woke you.”

Shawn‟s soft laughter tickled her cheek. “You can wake me up like that anytime.”

What exactly had happened? Had she started having actual dream sex? What a shame, if so. She
wanted
to remember, dammit. “I ruined your days of foreplay,”

she said, unsure if it was true.

“You didn‟t.” He drew his fingertip over her mouth, his smile turning wicked.

But even as he tempted her with his sinful grin, something shifted through his eyes.

“Although, baby, I must say you taste every bit as good as you look.”

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Cari Quinn

Chapter Thirteen

“From your expression,” he continued, “you don‟t entirely remember, so maybe I should give you a play-by-play.”

“That‟s okay.” Why did she feel so mortified? They were lovers. “Really.”

“No, we need to discuss this. I didn‟t just let you go back to sleep.”

“Um, all right.” She bit her lip. Who knew what kind of freak “dream-sex Rachel” became? Maybe she was better off not knowing.

“Whatever you were dreaming must‟ve been pretty amazing. I was sure you‟d make yourself come just from your twisting and rocking alone, but when you started touching your breasts—”

Heat blasted her cheeks. “God.”

Shawn‟s hand skimmed up her bare torso until his knuckles brushed her nipple. “Hot as hell. I couldn‟t stand watching you anymore, and your scent was making me crazy, so I put my tongue inside you.” His voice dropped, turning quiet and husky. “You tasted so incredible, I wanted more and more. And you gave it to me.”

Which explained the chafed sensation on her inner thighs. Stubble-burn.

Rachel didn‟t say anything, her heartbeat nearly drowning out his uneven breathing in her ear. “I screamed.”

“Oh yeah, you did. Waited for the knock on the door, but maybe it wasn‟t as loud as it seemed in my head. Sexiest goddamn sound I ever heard.” He cleared his throat, then said, “I should have woken you up before I touched you.”

“You should have?” She craned her head to stare at him. “Why? I‟m pretty sure I enjoyed every second.”

Her admission drained the stiffness out of his body. He smiled. “I didn‟t want you thinking I took advantage of you.”

She snorted. “Right. Just so you know, if you ever dream about me, I‟ll be doing the same. Well, the male equivalent.” Her grin matched his as she relaxed against him. “Silly man.”

He lifted her hair away from her neck and rubbed his lips just behind her ear, sucking on her skin hard enough to mark. When she heard his next words, she knew that had been his intention. “You sounded like you did that night at Riley Lake. This was the first time you completely let go.”

“Riley Lake?”

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105

“After graduation. Us and Mor and our dates at the cabin.”

“I remember.” Like she‟d ever forget. “Our pseudocamping trip, even though the place was tricked out with four bathrooms and giant spa tubs and a huge screen TV.” The last of her morning-after shyness morphed into curiosity. “You heard me?

With Ryan?”

His body tensed though he continued nuzzling her neck. “I heard you.”

The first night they‟d stayed there, raging teenage hormones had won out over exploring their vacation digs, and everyone had retreated to bed early. She and Ryan had been dating for over a year at that point so while sex far from parental interference had been nice, she‟d been so tired from the long car ride that once had been enough.

Until, that is, she‟d heard Shawn and Vivica—she of the five-inch waist and bubblegum pink lips—going at it in their adjacent bedroom.

“You came into my room afterward,” he murmured. “Just stood at the end of the bed for a minute, staring at me.”

She remembered that too. Even with her body still heated from Ryan‟s, she‟d had to stop and watch Shawn sleep on her way to his bathroom. Her heart had beat then as loud as it was beating now. “Our toilet wouldn‟t flush.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I heard you too. It drove me crazy, thinking of you with your hands on her not fifteen feet away.”

He bristled at her admission, but she didn‟t stop her rant.
In for a penny…

“She had this way of screeching of every time she came, so I decided I‟d drown her out. I think Ryan was a little surprised.” It shocked her she could laugh. “He got on board quick.”

“You sounded like you were in ecstasy.”

“I‟m so glad you heard.” She had to grin as she turned her head. “Since you never said anything, I thought my little show had gone unnoticed.”

Shawn fisted his hand in her hair. “You wanted to make me jealous.”

“No, I wanted you to know how I felt listening to you.”

“Why should you have cared?” His eyes flashed. “You didn‟t want me, remember?”

“Uh, I think you‟ve gotten the sequence wrong, Griffin. I wanted you, you didn‟t want me.” As irrational as it was for that knowledge to still grate given the current circumstances, she slid out from under his arm and sat up in bed. “Have you forgotten that I all but threw myself at you and you said no?”

“I thought I had time.”

When she glanced his way, arousal tightened her nipples. She gritted her teeth. Apparently her traitorous body didn‟t care she was annoyed.

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Cari Quinn

“I wasn‟t ready to tie myself down. I knew once we started a relationship, there‟d be no walking away.”

A lump rose in her throat. She was beginning to think he‟d been right. “So your need to spread your seed far and wide is supposed to make me feel better that I spent a decade pretending you weren‟t a man.”

A man she‟d wanted for so long, even if she‟d been in such denial she‟d been unable to admit the truth to herself.

His hand trailed up her back as he sat up, but she didn‟t look at him again.

Not yet. “I fucked up. If you think I haven‟t spent a hell of a lot of time dwelling on that, you‟re wrong. Every time I imagined you in some other man‟s bed, I paid, believe me.”

She risked a glance at him as he shoved his hands through his hair. “Maybe it was meant to be this way.”

“Oh yeah, it was meant for you to fall in love with Halston, so he could break your heart.”

She nearly replied,
He didn’t break my heart
, but she restrained herself. If she told him that much, she might as well say, “Come and get me,” because he‟d know she was his.

That she‟d always been his, ripe for the taking.

“And the miscarriage. That shouldn‟t have happened. If only I‟d—”

“Don‟t be stupid. You had nothing to do with it.”

“What about this trip?” he demanded. “You think it was meant for you to sleep with him while you‟re sleeping with me?”

She pressed her lips closed before the denial sprung from her mouth. So she‟d been right. He thought she‟d been diddling Ryan too. To tell him otherwise would open a whole other avenue of discussion about why she‟d let him think the worst this long, even if he‟d drawn his own conclusions without her help.

“You said you didn‟t care,” she reminded him.

His jaw cracked as he laughed softly. “Yeah, I did.”

Pictures from the last ten years flipped through her mind. Christmas mornings she‟d awakened to find he‟d decorated the palm trees outside her apartment in colored lights, nights he‟d bunked on her couch to watch whatever she wanted on the DVR, a pint of Chunky Monkey and two spoons between them.

Feelings
? If she had any more damned feelings for him, she wouldn‟t be able to breathe.

This
thing
between them had turned into a runaway train. She just hoped like hell it didn‟t crush their friendship. But she feared it was already too late. No matter what happened, they wouldn‟t be able to go back to the way things had been.

“Let‟s get dressed,” she said abruptly, toeing aside the sheets as she rolled out of bed.

“Are you kicking me out again?” he asked, weariness thick in his voice.

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“Dream on, sucker.” Rachel propped her hands on her hips. “You‟re taking me to Shea Stadium. And if the Mets don‟t win, you owe me big-time.”

His grin eased away the remaining ache in her belly. “You‟re on.”

* * *

“You really think Morgan‟ll let you put this on the living room sofa?” Shawn asked, shifting his hold on her souvenir as he fought to get his soda to his lips.

“If she doesn‟t, you can store it for me at your place.” Rachel flashed him a smile, lowering her sunglasses. “If they even let us take it on the plane.”

“Foam bends. I‟ll get it in a suitcase, don‟t worry.” He handed her his drink so he could test his theory. Damn stuff wasn‟t as malleable as he‟d expected. “Or I‟ll buy you a new one in LA next time I‟m there. Close enough.”

“You‟d make a good boyfriend, you know that?” she said as her cell went off in her purse.

While she answered her call, he took a hard pull on his straw. Maybe if he could get her to turn off her damn phone for an hour or two, they‟d actually get somewhere. Maybe. It was hard to tell, since every step forward they took seemed to result in two back.

“No, he talked to his mother last night. What?” She dragged her phone away from her ear. “You hung up on Elaina?”

He shrugged, her beady-eyed stare making him feel like a mischievous little boy. “We need a break from them. Since they won‟t give it to us voluntarily, I hung up.”

“Your father needs to discuss some business with you. He said it‟s urgent.”

Shawn folded his arms on the railing of the ship and stared across the gently rolling water. Rachel apparently didn‟t understand it was better if he didn‟t speak to them, because he honestly didn‟t know if he could rein in his temper. “Tell him to e-mail me.”

He felt her hot gaze on the side of his face as she made short work of the rest of her call and deposited her phone back in her purse. “I won‟t be the reason you‟re fighting with them,” she said in a low voice.

“We aren‟t fighting.” Deliberately, he lowered his sunglasses. “We‟re just not on speaking terms at the moment.”

“Oh, that‟s better.” She snatched her foam finger and gave him a swift whack in the side, much to the surprise of the tourists clustered beside them at the rail.

“Dammit, Shawn, you know they love you.”

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Cari Quinn

Since he wasn‟t paying much attention to their creep toward Liberty Island anyway, he turned and braced his elbows behind him. “And they love you. So, of course, they love us together. Wanna get married?”

Rachel dropped her foam finger. “That‟s not funny.”

“Especially since it‟s not really a joke. God, Rachel.” His laughter seemed to perplex her, but she obviously didn‟t get how thin the wire he was tiptoeing across truly was. “Kill the Little Miss Peacemaker act. We both know you rip me a new one every time they call.”

“Oh, you think so.” Her voice frosted. “I don‟t think I‟ve ripped into you that much, considering.”

“Can you honestly tell me you‟re okay with their questions? Their supposed help in guiding our relationship?”

“Of course not.”

“Do you or do you not freak out every time you talk to them?”

She compressed her lips into a thin line. “Well yeah, but—”

“And then I freak out because I know you‟re upset. I‟d just laugh them off, because I know they can‟t make us do anything we don‟t want to do. But you go postal every damn time.”

“So it‟s my fault for taking them too seriously. Not theirs for prying or—”

“That‟s it.” Ignoring her shocked curse, he snatched her purse off her shoulder.

He fished out her phone and dangled it over the water while she swore and clawed at his arm hard enough to leave welts. “Unless you swear on your grandmother‟s grave you won‟t answer any more of their calls—your family‟s or mine—throughout the duration of this trip, your phone‟s going for a soak. And I don‟t think she knows how to swim.”

“Shawn!” Her screech made him wince. “You‟re being childish.”

“I. Love. You.” He lifted his voice above hers, effectively silencing the conversations surrounding them. “Is it so much to ask that I want to spend some uninterrupted time with the woman I love? Is that really such a huge sacrifice on your part?”