Insider (Exodus End #1) (18 page)

“I didn’t just think it, I saw it.”

“I was
hugging
him, Logan. What you said about him losing his baby and the mother committing suicide, it made my heart ache and I needed to hug him.”

So she’d been behaving like a first-class sweetheart and he’d been behaving like a first-class asshole. “It wasn’t even Dare’s baby. It was Max’s.”

Toni stared at him open-mouthed for a long moment before licking her lips. “I thought she was Dare’s girlfriend.”

“She was.”

Toni sucked a deep breath into her chest and blew it out with a fierce scowl.

“That better not end up in your book,” he said.

She shook her head vigorously. “I won’t put anything in the book that could potentially hurt one of you.” She lowered her head. “Or all of you.”

He believed her. If she’d told him that pigs had finally evolved wings, he would have believed that too. “I’m sorry for being a jerk,” Logan said. “I just . . .” He stared at the wall behind her. How could he put this? “I didn’t like seeing another man with his hands on you.”

“Obviously.” She chuckled, and he shifted his gaze to hers.

She was smiling. He felt as if the weight of the world had lifted off his shoulders.

“You don’t hate me?”

“Why would I hate you? I’m your woman, aren’t I?” She tilted her head and winked at him.

He grinned, his head swimming with happiness. “Yeah.”

“Go talk to Dare.”

“Do I have to?”

“You sucker punched him in the nose, Logan. Don’t you think you at least owe him an apology?”

He took a deep breath. “Yeah. He’s going to kick my ass, you know.”

“You probably deserve that. But I’ll kiss it and make it better.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

“So you’d let me?”

“Let you what?”

“Do things to your ass.”

Logan gawked at her.

She lowered her eyes. “Forget I asked that.”

“Depends on what you have in mind. No strap-on dicks allowed in my bedroom.”

She laughed. “Why would I use a strap-on . . .”

Her eyes widened when she apparently figured it out. She was still so innocent and he was so enjoying making her naughty. Logan stroked her hair from her lovely face and tucked it behind her ear. He stared down into the inquisitive brown eyes hidden behind thick glasses and couldn’t help but smile. It was a permanent condition when she was around. What was it about this woman that had him in knots? God, he hoped he didn’t fuck things up with her. Yet he figured it was inevitable. He tended to fuck up everything eventually. Except his music. It was the one thing he had under perfect control, but maybe that had more to do with his bandmates, the crew, and his anal-retentive manager than it had to do with anything he did. “You’re beautiful. We’ll try things—some of them so naughty your glasses will steam up.” He kissed her forehead before leaving the room to seek his well-deserved ass-kicking.

Pissed off and out of sorts, Dare had let his guard down and was completely surrounded by a collection of lead-guitarist worshipers (mostly male) and rock-star -dick worshipers (mostly female). Logan knew exactly how to earn Dare’s forgiveness. Free him from the hell of adulation. At least Dare considered that hell. Logan wouldn’t mind a little more of it.

“Hey, Dare,” Logan called over the crowd. He had no chance of making his way through the flock of admirers. “We need you in the dressing room. Pronto.”

Dare gave him a measured look. He obviously knew Logan was lying. Now he just needed to decide which was the lesser of two evils—fans he’d allowed to get too close or one of his best friends who was currently on his shit list. Logan thought Dare had decided to take his chances with the crowd until he lifted one finger, said, “Excuse me,” and the crowd parted before him like the Red Sea.

Dare stalked toward the dressing room which was labeled Band ONLY—No Guests, and Logan followed him, hoping there were witnesses present behind that closed door in case Dare actually killed him. He was such an easygoing guy until someone pissed him off.

Dare stormed into the dressing room, and Logan closed the door behind them. They probably should have knocked before barging in. A rhythmic pounding of flesh on flesh came from the couch on the opposite side of the room. Logan couldn’t see anything but one feminine foot poking over the back of the sofa, but he could hear a whole lot.

“Yes, Steve. Oh yes!”

Well, that explained where Steve had been during the meet and greet. His head appeared above the sofa back, and his confused gaze shifted from Logan to Dare.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Steve asked as he took in the bit of bloody tissue Dare had shoved up one nostril.

“Logan.” Dare pulled the tissue out of his nose and dabbed his nostril on the back of his hand to check if it was still bleeding.

“Don’t stop, baby. I’m almost there,” crooned a woman from somewhere beneath Steve.

Steve continued to stare at his bandmates, but he was moving again. The sound of wet pussy getting pounded was unmistakable. “Did you punch him or what?”

“Yeah,” Logan said, raking a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to. Well, yeah, I did. I overreacted when I saw Toni hanging all over him. I thought he was making a move on her. I’m sorry I hit you, Dare. I overreacted.”

“Logan is stupid over a woman,” Steve said. “Now his ignorance knows no bounds.”

A hand with long hot-pink fingernails moved to Steve’s hair. He flinched as she got a handful and pulled.

“Ouch. Don’t yank.”

“Then stop talking. I can’t concentrate.”

“Me neither.” Steve shifted and moved to kneel on the sofa, his elbows resting on its back and his fingers linked together.

“I didn’t mean you should stop,” the woman protested.

Steve ignored her. “So are you going to hit him back?” he asked Dare. “Because that’s something I’d like to see.”

“No,” Dare said. “I have a better way to get back at him.”

A chill raced down Logan’s spine. He had no doubt that Dare was capable of ripping his guts out if he had a mind to. “Just hit me. Get it over with.”

Dare chuckled coldly and then let himself out of the dressing room without another word.

“Shit,” Logan said. “What do you think he’s going to do?”

“I’d keep a close eye on Toni if I were you,” Steve said. “You know if he shows the slightest interest in a woman, her panties are around her ankles in less than five seconds.”

“He wouldn’t do that. He knows I like her.”

“Are you sure? I think he’s pretty pissed off at you.”

Dare wasn’t someone you wanted to piss off. And Logan had decked him in the nose. In front of a crowd of people. Logan rubbed his forehead with one hand. So what should he do about this? It was too late to take it back. He guessed he’d just follow Steve’s advice and keep an eye on Toni. As if that would be a chore.

“Can we finish now?” an annoyed voice said from the sofa.

Steve rolled his eyes at Logan and then disappeared from view again. Logan let himself out of the dressing room before their porn sounds gave him wood.

Keeping an eye on Toni turned out to be easier said than done. He didn’t want to be blatantly obvious to everyone in the room that he had the hots for her. Not with members of the press for the entire city of Eugene, Oregon, watching his every move. At least Dare didn’t seem to have Toni on his agenda. For now in any case. He had regained his sphere of cool, and everyone was keeping an appropriate distance from the guitar god. Logan spotted Toni talking to the church lady, who was trying her damnedest to gain Max’s attention. Toni had a camera in one hand and a tape recorder in the other and was spouting off questions he couldn’t hear over the din of conversation. Logan decided it was his best bet to find something else to occupy his time.

Beer worked.

He grabbed a bottle from the nearest ice chest and leaned against a wall. It didn’t take fans long to notice he was alone. A particularly talkative young woman decided his ear was free and spent the next twenty minutes telling him about every band she’d ever seen in concert. “Exodus End is the best, of course. I’m looking forward to Sinners’ show tonight too.”

“Great band,” Logan said. He deliberately drained the rest of his beer.

“I think I’ll skip Riott Actt, though. I don’t know any of their songs.”

“You really shouldn’t. You’ll regret it someday.”

At a raucous round of laughter from Max’s general direction, Logan straightened and craned his neck to see what fun he was missing.

“I want to talk to the cleavage cam next,” someone insisted.

Cleavage cam?

Logan decided he’d done his duty for the evening. He handed his empty bottle to the blabbering fan and went to investigate the cleavage cam. That sounded right up his alley.

He wasn’t sure if Toni had come up with the idea of holding the camera between her luscious breasts or if Max had put her up to it. Whoever had come up with the idea had made Toni a complete hit with every male in the room. All in good fun, but if any of them put their hands on her . . . 

Logan took a deep breath. Why was he so insistent on claiming her as his alone? He definitely liked the idea that no other dude had ever been inside her, but that couldn’t possibly be the only reason he was so wrapped up in the woman. So protective of her. Overprotective. He couldn’t help himself. He squeezed through the crowd until he stood beside her.

“I’m Dennis Brown. I won my guest pass from a radio show. I’ve been an Exodus End fan for fourteen years and I saw my first Ex-End concert with my parents when I was ten.” The fan spoke into the microphone clipped to Toni’s shirt.

Ugh. He’d seen his first show when he was ten? That made Logan feel old. But thirty-two wasn’t so old, was it?

Not if he had a say in the matter.

Logan was glad to see that not much of Toni’s considerable bosom was actually showing. Her shirt was buttoned around the camera so that the lens protruded from her cleavage, but those perfect breasts of his, of
hers,
were out of view. He suddenly had a powerful need to stir her up a little.

He leaned close to her ear and whispered, “I think you should keep that camera rolling while I fuck you later.”

Her face reddened as he knew it would, but she whispered, “I think all the jiggling would make anyone who watched it motion sick.”

He chuckled. Okay, yes, he liked that he had been her first and that he was her only lover, but he liked her quick wit even more. He loved how she’d get all embarrassed but still said things he didn’t think would ever come out of her mouth.

“So whose idea was the cleavage cam?” he asked.

“Mine. It’s impossible to get anyone’s attention when Max is around.”

“Tell me about it,” Logan grumbled.

“So I figured if they wouldn’t talk to me, maybe they’d talk to my boobs. Okay, who’s next?” she called out.

Logan leaned toward her chest. “I’m Logan Schmidt, and I’ve been a fan of Toni’s boobs for almost a day now.”

She laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t tease.”

“Who’s teasing? They’re amazing.” He moved his mouth close to her ear. “I can’t wait to squeeze them together around my cock and fuck them until I come all over your chest.”

“Oh! So
that’s
how a guy fucks tits,” she blurted loudly. Very loudly.

Everyone within earshot burst out laughing. She stood perfectly still for a long moment. Logan feared she’d need CPR if she didn’t take a breath soon. He didn’t know CPR, but he was definitely ready for some more mouth-to-mouth with her.

“Everyone knows that,” she announced after an uncomfortably long minute and laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more until Logan decided she was on the verge of hysteria.

He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Come on, sweetie,” he said. “Let’s take a little break outside. You look like you need some fresh air.” She looked like she needed a psychiatric evaluation, but there was no way he was stupid enough to say that.

Toni swallowed hard and nodded vigorously. Holding her hand securely in his, Logan led her to the back of the stadium near where the buses were parked. He lifted her to sit on a loading dock and stood in front of her knees, waiting for her to say something.

“I’m so sorry I’m stupid about this stuff,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” he assured her. He was smitten by her. He even thought she looked beautiful under the orange glare of the streetlights.

She smiled softly and shook her head. “You don’t have to lie to save my feelings, Logan. I’m a big girl.”

“I’m not lying.” He lifted her hand from her lap and kissed her wrist. “I wish I could fast-forward time a couple of hours so the show would be over and I could teach you more about making love,” he said.
And you can teach me how to love someone.

She wrapped her arms around his head and hugged him to her abdomen. “Why are you so nice to me?”

His chuckle was muffled against her belly. “I have ulterior motives.”

“Such as?”

“Making you mine.”
Shit.
Why had he said that? He was showing his cards much too soon.

She slapped his shoulder. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

He wished he could say he didn’t mean it. He didn’t particularly want to be so far gone. Ah, what the fuck—he liked her. A lot. She was just going to have to learn to live with it. If he could admit it, surely she could accept it.

“I mean it, Toni.” He untangled his head from her grasp so he could look up at her. “I really do like you. And it isn’t just lust.” For once in his dick-led life. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Even when you’re not in my bed, you’re in my head. It’s driving me crazy. I’m not sure how to handle it.”

She smiled, and he saw her feelings displayed clearly in her eyes. “You’re going to break my heart someday.” She released a sigh and stared over his head as she spoke. “I really like you too, Logan. But maybe it’s best if we pretend the only thing between us is lust. If I fall for you . . .” She shook her head and closed her eyes.

“You don’t trust me with your heart.”

“Should I?”