Inspire (12 page)

As such, I’m restless when I re-enter the living room.

“You want some hot chocolate?” Mom asks. “I was thinking of making some.”

I hesitate. I’d like to head over to Lennox’s party now, but I don’t know how I feel about leaving Mom alone. Maybe I should stay a little while longer. Until she’s ready to go to sleep. I’m just about to say this when she continues, “Unless you’ve got other plans. With the boys?”

I smile. Ellis Rook and I have been friends since elementary school. We met Owen in high school. He was two years above us, and took us under his wing. We’re all well past grown now. Hell, Rook is a full foot taller than Mom at 6’4”. But she still calls them the boys as if we’re little kids playing video games in the back room.

“Nah,” I tell her. “Owen went on a ski trip, and Rook’s family is in Missouri for the holidays.” It’s an unspoken thought between us that this time last year I probably would have joined Owen, but now every spare penny I have goes to Mom or school. “There’s, uh, this party I was thinking about going to.”

Her lips remain in a smile, but I can see the corners twitch down just for a second.

“Not that kind of party. It’s for some people who weren’t able to go home to see family for the holidays.” God. She’s going to think I’d rather be with the people who
can’t
see their family, than to actually spend time with my own. “But that’s whatever. I think I’ll stay and hang out with you for a little while.”

“No.” She crosses and pats at my arm. “You go. See your friends. I’ll probably conk out soon.”

“Then I’ll stay until you’re ready to go to bed.”

“Wilder Bell.” I squint down at her, unsure why she’s using the same tone normally reserved for when I cause problems. “You don’t need to babysit me. You’re twenty-three years old. You should get to live your own life. Go to your party.”

I frown, and she pushes at my shoulder, turning me toward the door.

“Go. I’m going to take a bubble bath and relax anyway.”

I hesitate. “You’re sure?”

“Of course, I am. Now, get out of here.”

I grab my leather jacket from where I draped it over the back of the recliner, and shrug it on.

“Call me if you need anything.”

“Still don’t need babysitting,” Mom replies.

I smile and plant a quick kiss on her forehead. “All right. Point taken.”

I grab my keys, and when I’m almost out the door, Mom calls for me again. I look back, and she’s at the entrance to the hallway that leads back to her bedroom.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you again. For everything.”

“Right back at you.”

Lennox lives in an apartment just off the highway. It’s not the nicest neighborhood, and I’m a little shocked that she lives here. I hope she doesn’t live here alone, and that Kalli doesn’t visit often. The whole idea of her in this place makes me uneasy.

She lives on the top floor of a three-story building that has definitely seen better days. The stairs creak loudly, and the paint is so chipped that it’s hard to tell what color the building is supposed to be. When I reach her door, I can hear the rumble of noise inside, and I take a deep breath.

There’s every possibility that Kalli won’t be happy seeing me here. I promise myself that this is it. I’ll chase after her tonight, but if she doesn’t give me some indication that she’s as into this as I am, I’ll let it be.

Not too long ago I was on the receiving end of an unwanted pursuit by Bridget. Or hell, maybe it’s not fair to say unwanted. We dated for six months after all. And we were friends long before that.

I should have listened when Rook said not to get involved with her. We were good friends, and I knew she could be a little crazy when it came to guys, but she was never like that with me. She was cool and comfortable and a blast to be around. I thought maybe it would be different with us. We knew each other. We were familiar. And she was exactly what I wanted when the rest of my life was in upheaval and nothing felt familiar or comfortable or
right.

She wouldn’t go all clingy with me. There wouldn’t be any need. We trusted each other. Or so I thought.

We had one good month, and then shit started to go sour. She couldn’t get past all the time I now have to spend on work and class and homework. Most of the time, she seemed to think I was lying. We had two just okay months followed by three miserable ones. All because I didn’t know how to end it. I kept thinking I could get the old Bridget back. That eventually she would settle down and realize she didn’t have to spend every moment of the day with me, and she didn’t have to hate every single girl I talked to, and she didn’t have to be the center of my every waking thought.

Eight months ago, I finally pulled my head out of my ass and ended it. And every time I hung out with our group of friends since (Bridget included), I alternated between feeling guilty for how hurt she was and pissed that she’d had to be so different just because we were sleeping together. Then there was the annoyance at her continued bouts of clinginess and jealousy despite our break-up. And it all finally gave way to exhaustion because I couldn’t even relax with my friends anymore.

These days it seemed like I couldn’t relax anywhere. There were too many things to do, to take care of. Too many things to
be
that took work and perseverance and
effort
.

That night I’d seen Kalli down on Sixth Street, I’d been faking my way through a night out with friends that wasn’t the least bit fun. That’s why I thought Kalli was a hallucination. I’d been standing there on the street while my friends decided which bar to hit up next with Bridget inching closer to my side when Kalli had caught my eye after days of being on my mind. And then she wasn’t just my mental sanctuary, but physical too.

She’d cleared my head of everything else with her mystery. She just wiped it all clean. And then she filled up all that empty space with thoughts of her, memories, possibilities.

Shit
. I shake my head, realizing that I’m still standing on Lennox’s porch, and I haven’t even knocked yet. I rectify that, and then stand with my hands in my jacket pockets while I wait for someone to answer the door. It must be too loud because no one answers, and I have to knock again.

I’m trying to decide whether it’s weird to just walk inside or if I should give up and leave when the door is ripped backward, revealing Lennox on the other side. Her hair has been dyed a vivid scarlet since I saw her, and she clings to the door like she might not be able to stay standing without it.

“You came!”

I smile in response, not only to be polite, but because she’s obviously drunk. A happy drunk too, if the way she topples into me for a hug is any indication.

“I’m so glad,” she continues. “Kalli is being all anti-social, and no matter how many times I threaten her, she won’t loosen up.”

She pulls me over the threshold as I ask, “So you want
me
to threaten her?”

“I want you to dazzle her into having a good time.”

“Dazzle? How much have you had to drink?”

She waves a hand, gesturing toward my face. “Come on. You’re a dazzler. With those eyes and that hair. You have distinct dazzability.”

“I’m going to guess the answer to my question is ‘too much.’”

“You say too much. I say just enough.”

She leads me out of the entry way into the living room, and I barely keep my jaw from dropping. The outside of her apartment might be less than impressive, but the inside … it’s incredible. Every inch of space is packed with interesting furniture and artwork and unusual decorations.

She has a mural painted along one wall that at first glance looks like a sort of abstract cityscape, but when I look again I can see that what appears as buildings are also people. Different shapes and sizes, shadowed so that they’re more silhouettes than realistic portrayals. Even though they’re mostly dark, there’s a surprising amount of emotion painted into them. Their eyes are lit up like building windows, and through that single detail I can see that some figures are sad, some angry, some afraid. I stare at the painted wall for a long time, trying to figure out exactly how the artist accomplished so much with so little.

“You’ve got another fan, Avery,” Lennox says.

I turn toward her, and she gestures to a girl sitting on the couch, a bottle of beer clutched between two small hands. She’s got that same kind of hipster vibe as Lennox, only the wide-rimmed glasses feel more genuine on her. She sinks farther into the couch in response to my gaze. She’s not who I would have pictured for the mural artist. She seems shy and unsure, and I can’t understand why. She’s clearly got talent. She’s also very pretty. Her hair is short and straight, but it’s this pale blonde that catches and reflects the light.

“It’s incredible,” I tell her, and I look back at the work. I could probably stand in front of it all day, and continue to notice new things, subtle brilliance. “Really, it’s amazing.”

She pushes at her glasses even though they’ve not slid down her nose and says quietly, “Thank you.”

“Okay then,” Lennox begins. “So you’ve met my roommate Avery. The hottie beside her is my boyfriend Mick.” I try not to blink too much in surprise. I would expect a boyfriend of Lennox’s to have the same kind of artistic vibe, but this guy looks straight country, right down to the worn out old boots. I try to keep up while she introduces the rest of the people in the room to me. Kim and Krista (sisters). Dan and Eric (preppy boy next door types). Jack (another hipster with prettier hair than most girls I’ve seen). Then she starts to move fast enough that I lose track of which name belongs with which person, but somewhere on right side of the room are an Olivia, a Morie, and a Jane. Some are direct friends of Lennox. Others she introduces as friends of friends that needed a place to chill on the holiday. And overall, the group is undeniably eclectic. But they’re all at ease as they sit around the living room chatting. Though that could have something to do with the immense amounts of alcohol bottles and cans and glasses littered across the coffee table and bookshelves and every other flat surface.

After the official introductions, Lennox leans close to give me some more specifics, and that’s when I realize what really connects them all. “Avery is a painter, obviously. Though some days, I swear I have to convince her to believe it. Jack too. I’ve known him since freshman year, and met Avery through him. Mick does wood and metal work. He’s built a lot of the furniture in the room. Kim and Krista are in the fashion design program with me.” By the time she’s finished, it’s evident that everyone in the room has some kind of artistic talent, and I understand now how all these different people could fit together.

“So how does Kalli fit?” I ask.

“Hmm?” Lennox tilts her head to the side, and her eyes are a little unfocused.

“Kalli. You guys are all artists of one kind or another, so what is she?”

Lennox frowns. “Kalli is … She’s not an artist. Not really. But she’s incredibly knowledgeable about it all, so she fits right in. She can talk building stuff with Mick and clothes with me and art with Jack. She’s just one of those people who is an incredibly good sounding board, you know? She’s only been hanging out with us for about a month and half, but everyone really loves her. Jack even painted her. Between you and me, I’m pretty sure he would give his left testicle to be with her, but she hasn’t really showed much interest so far.”

My eyes flick to Jack, and I try not to tense, but even drunk, Lennox picks up on my reaction. “Relax, Dazzler,” she says, laughing. “I asked her about you after you left, you know. She
blushed
. It’s the most reaction I’ve ever seen out of her with a guy. And believe me, she gets hit on …
a lot
.”

I scowl. She’s fucking gorgeous. So, it’s not like I thought there wouldn’t be any competition, but Jesus. Lennox laughs again. “Well, this is a fun game.” I turn my glare on her. “She wouldn’t answer any of my questions about you. She said it was nothing, but I’m pretty good at reading people. The look she had after you left? Totally not nothing.”

My eyes skip back to Jack. He’s good looking, especially with all that hair of his. “He really painted her?” I ask.

“Oh yeah. It’s good, too.”

Damn.

“She’s in the kitchen,” Lennox says. “If you want to get to dazzling.”

She points the way, and I don’t care how transparent I am as I move immediately in that direction. She grins and whispers, “Good luck,” at my back.

And I need it. I need it so fucking bad.

Because as I step through the entry, I see Kalli leaning against a carved wooden island. Her eyes are closed, and she has an empty wine glass pressed against her full lips. For a moment, I just take her in. She wears dark jeans that hug the smooth shape of her thighs. A gray sweater clings to her waist and breasts, and she looks effortlessly beautiful. Stunning in a way that’s hard to put into words, but I feel it like a punch to the gut. Her chest rises on an inhale, and I find myself breathing in tandem.

She exhales, and I take a step farther into the kitchen. The floor creaks, and her eyes pop open. They land on me, and as her expression morphs into shock, the glass slips right out of her hand and shatters at her feet.  

Chapter Twelve

I notice she's barefoot a second after the glass breaks, and I move on instinct. I reach her in two long strides, wrap an arm around her waist, and lift her off the ground. I settle her on top of the island counter before glancing down to make sure she hasn't been cut.

The light reflects off a few tiny shards along the top of her foot, and near one is a tiny dot of blood.

“Stay there,” I order, before crossing to the sink. I grab a paper towel, fold it into quarters, and then turn on the faucet just enough to dampen it. I cross back to her, and the glass crunches beneath my boots.

I cup my hand around her heel, and lift the foot up where I can see it better under the light. I don't want to drag the towel across it because if there are any little slivers of glass, they could still cut her. So I bend over and carefully blow along the top of her foot to remove any debris.