Inspire (25 page)

“Don't call me that.”

“I'm sorry.
Kalli
, I'm sorry.” I take a step forward, reaching out a hand, but I don't make contact. Not yet. I don't know if I can handle seeing her flinch back from me again. “What's wrong?”

The bathroom door swings open again, and Bridget is framed in the opening.

“Goddamn it, Bridge. What did you say to her?”

Her brows furrow, and she looks between us in confusion. “I didn't say anything.”

“We were supposed to be friends first. I've been patient with your bullshit because we've known each other a long time, but this is too much.”

“Hey Asshat, I don't know what you're talking about—”

I bite back the slew of curse words I want to fling at her, and fist my hands in my hair to try to cool down. Then Kalli ducks under my arm and steps between us.

“Wilder, relax. She didn't say anything.”

Kalli rests a hand on my chest lightly, but she winces when she does it, and when I try to move closer, that hand becomes more of a barrier than a comfort. “Kalli, what the hell is going on? What's wrong?”

She snatches her hand back, and moves to put more space between us. “Nothing is wrong. I just got a little overwhelmed and needed a break.”

She flew out of that bathroom like she was being chased.

Or like she was getting ready to run.

I look over at Bridget. “You weren't rude?”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, please Wild. Maybe I'm a little bit bitchy, but I wasn't mean to your precious girlfriend.”

She steps forward and lets the heavy bathroom door swing shut with a thud. Then she maneuvers around us and leaves without making eye contact with either of us again. I return my focus to Kalli. She's leaning into the wall a few feet away, and her shoulders are rising and falling slowly with her deep, slow inhales.

“You didn't look like you'd just been taking a breather when you came out of that bathroom. You looked terrified. Tell me what happened.”

She smiles, but it's weak. “Nothing. I swear. I just don't do well in crowds like this.”

I frown, remembering the last time I'd seen her downtown. She'd been stumbling out of a club probably as busy as this one. And she'd been pale and panicked.

Damn
.

“Why didn't you tell me? I never would have brought you here if I'd known that.”

I move toward her, but she dodges my touch at the last moment.

“I'm sorry. Just give me a moment, please. Let me calm down for a second, and then … then I'll be fine.”

I frown, grinding my teeth together.

“Was there anyone else in the bathroom besides you two?”

She shakes her head.

I don't touch her again, but I push open the door and gesture for her to come inside. When she does, I close the door and lock it. Then I wet a paper towel in the sink and hand it to her. I pace a few feet away and try not to brood too much as I watch her dab at her face with the towel. I have a thousand questions I want to ask, but I stay silent while she breathes and breathes and breathes for so long that I find myself doing it with her. The doorknob shakes, and someone bangs hard on the outside.

“You okay?” I ask.

After a moment, she nods. I unlock the door, and the two girls waiting outside narrow their eyes when they see me. I hold open the door for Kalli and apologize. “Sorry. My girlfriend got sick.” I hesitate, but then place a hand at her lower back, relieved when she doesn’t flinch.

“Let’s leave. I’ll text the guys and tell them we had to go.”

She grips my arm over my jacket. “No, don’t. I don’t want to ruin our plans.”

I cup her face in my hands and pull her as close as I dare. “The only thing that could ruin this night is seeing you uncomfortable or unhappy. We’re leaving.”

After a moment, she nods. I wrap an arm around her and pull her close to my side, and this time she reciprocates the gesture. Both her arms go around my middle, and she squeezes so tight that it’s almost hard for the two of us to walk. It becomes especially difficult as we try to make our way through the crowd to the exit, but neither of us make any move to let go of the other. We wait it out until there’s an opening or people move out of our way.

It’s cold out, so we walk quickly through the busy streets until we get to our parking garage and can escape into my SUV. I turn the ignition on, and power up the heater as fast as I can. It has heated seats, so I flip those on also. I stop then to retrieve my phone and send a quick text to Rook explaining.

In return I get:

I’m sorry, man. I wasn’t thinking.

Shit. What did that mean?

Rather than hound him for the answer, I face Kalli. I swear, all I want to do is pull her over the center console into my lap, and hold her tight until my heart stops beating so hard.

“Can you explain to me what happened back there?”

She keeps her gaze trained on her folded hands in her lap and shakes her head.

“You’re sure Bridget didn’t say something to you? What about Rook?”

She looks up, tilting her head sideways to peer at me. “Why didn’t you tell me she was your ex?”

I sigh. So someone did say something. Probably Rook.

“I should have. I just … things have been going so well, and I didn’t want to screw that up.”

Good job, Bell. You fucked yourself over with that one.

I continue, “I swear there’s absolutely nothing there. It was when I first came back to town with all the stuff going on with my dad. We’d been friends for a while, and she was there when I needed someone. But we weren’t good together. Not at all. She knows we’re not together. She knows we’re not
getting
back together. But the four of us … we’ve been friends for a long time. I can’t just cut her out. Or ask Rook and Owen to cut her out. She’s their friend, too.”

She nods, looking down again. And damn it, I can’t tell if she’s pissed or sad or if she cares at all.

“Talk to me. Are you mad? I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.”

“I’m not mad.”

I slump back in my seat, only slightly relieved because there’s still something I can’t identify in her tone. Weariness, maybe? Is she just worn out from the crowd?

“Tell me what else is going on in your head. You’re killing me.”

Her eyes flash to mine then, a flare of something in those dark depths.

She purses her lips like she might cry and shakes her head.

“Everything is just so hard.”

“What is?”

I don't like how this moment feels so outside my control.

“I don't want to lose you.”

Screw being cautious. I reach over and unbuckle the seatbelt she'd already fastened, scoot back my own chair, and then pull her over into my lap. She gasps, wiggling in my arms.

“Wilder!”

I capture her face in my hands, and wait for her to still. “You're not losing me.”

She releases a shaky breath and squeezes her eyes shut.

“You can't promise that.”

“Bullshit. I am promising that.”

“Wilder, I—”

I kiss her, unwilling to hear the words and doubts she has to offer. Her lips are taut and tense beneath mine, but when I graze my teeth over her bottom lip, she trembles in my arms, softening.

She opens her mouth to me, and I swear her taste is a drug. An aphrodisiac. Nothing and no one in my entire life has ever turned me on as much as she does. Just that small taste sweeps through me, lighting up my every nerve ending, and I feel it all over. In my muscles. In my bones. Every single part of me reacts to her.

“I love you,” I tell her, too overwhelmed with it to even give a shit that I just blurted it out like an idiot. Her hands grip my shoulders tightly, and she drags her mouth away, pushing back to gape at me. “I know it's way too fucking soon. I know we haven't known each other that long, and there's still so much we have to learn about each other. I get that. I keep telling myself that it's not possible this fast, that I'm crazy for thinking it, but everything in me, every fiber of my being tells me that's wrong. Tells me that I love you so damn much it hurts.”

“Wilder—”

“I'm not asking you to say it back. And I really hope this won't scare you off. But I can't pretend that every time I touch you or see you, I'm not thinking it. Every second we spend apart, my body is practically shouting it. I love you, Kalli. And that's why you're not going to lose me.”

A tear slips over her cheek, trailing fast over her skin. I blink, thinking maybe I'm seeing things. But then there's a second and a third.

“Sweet, why are you crying? Damn it. Just tell me how to fix whatever this is.”

She shakes her head, and her hands leave my shoulders to flatten against my chest.

“I love you, too.”

The heater suddenly sounds like a roar in my ears, and I shake my head, trying to be certain I heard her correctly.

“You do?”

She nods, tears still streaking steadily over her face.

I exhale, almost laughing. “Then why are you crying?”

“Because … because I don't
how
to love you. I've never done that, and I don't know how to do it without ruining something.”

I gather her close to me, winding one arm around her middle and slipping the other up her back to palm the nape of her neck.

“There are no rules for how to love someone. We'll both make mistakes. We'll say or do the wrong thing. We won't always have the answers. But you keep loving anyway.”

She doesn't look appeased by that. I kiss the corner of her mouth, then the other side.

“It's the easiest thing I've ever done. Loving you. Stop worrying about how this is going to play out down the road. It's this moment that matters. Love me right now. Love me tomorrow. And the next day. The future isn't written in stone. We decide it. Choose to love me every second. We'll choose that together. The rest will all fall into place.”

Her eyes flick back and forth around my face, and I know she wants to agree with me. So I give her another reason. Yanking her mouth closer to mine, I crush our lips together, feeding every bit of passion and longing and things too big to name into our connection. She sighs against me, chasing my tongue back in my mouth, and my body clenches at the feel.

The need to feel her skin, to touch more of her, crashes over me, and I start with her scarf. Tugging at the complicated twists and knots, I try to keep kissing her, but my fingers can’t figure out how to undo the damn fabric. Laughing against my mouth, Kalli reaches up to help, loosening and removing the thing in a matter of pulls. She tosses it into her empty seat, and I'm transfixed by the skin she's uncovered. Her long, smooth neck gives way to the plateau of her collarbone. The shirt she's wearing is a plain v-neck, but it dips low enough to reveal the luscious curves of her breasts. And from my vantage point above her, I can see the center of a black and white bra and a tiny bow that lies in the valley of her chest. I was already hard against her hip, but now the last of the blood still circulating in my body seems to rush south to my cock. I'm so turned on, I can barely think straight.

I drop my mouth to her neck, licking and sucking and biting the sensitive skin there. She arches her back, and I use my hands to encourage her further, leaning into her until her shoulders rest against the door. She's cradled sideways in my lap, and God knows I'd love to have her straddling me so I could feel the heat of her rocking against me. But this position has its merits too. She's completely opened up like this, her body laid out over me in a way that enables me to touch her anywhere. I start at her waist, slipping a hand beneath her shirt to touch the warm skin of her stomach. Her skin jumps a little at my touch, and I wonder if my hands are cold. I kiss her again in apology, and with our tongues still tangled, slide my hand up. I dance over her ribcage, tracing the delicate architecture of her bones. She wiggles in my lap, shying away from my hand as though it tickles, but then pushing back against me for more.

I drag my fingers just below the bottom of her bra, and she kisses me harder, one hand clutched at my neck, and the other braced tight against the steering wheel. She's so fucking responsive. I've barely even touched her, and she's moving against me like she's on the edge of coming already. When her teeth catch on my bottom lip and pull, I groan and give in to the need to touch her further. I cover the cup of her bra, lifting and squeezing the flesh encased beneath. She cries out, releasing her grip on my bottom lip, but it's not enough for me. I reach up a little farther, tugging the strap off her shoulder enough that I can fold the cup down to reveal bare skin.

I can't see her tits beneath her shirt, but I know from memory how fucking perfect they are. Full and heavy with dark tight nipples, one of which is currently pebbled against my palm. Her skin is blisteringly hot, and I know my fingers are still cold as I pull at the peak. She whimpers against my mouth, her kiss going slack as I tighten the pressure. I drop my head lower, dragging my tongue over the cleavage I can reach above her shirt, and then use my nose to push the fabric aside so I can replace my fingers with my mouth.

She bucks in my lap, her hips lifting up and then slamming back down as I suck that tight little bud into my mouth. I drag my hand out from her shirt and cup between her thighs instead. She arches up into me at the same time that her fingers tangle and pull tightly at my hair.

“Wilder, oh yes.” She breathes hard and fast above me, and I don't slow down my touches. Instead, I draw more of her sensitive flesh into my mouth and press harder against the juncture of her thighs. She squeezes her legs tight around my wrist, keeping me from doing much beyond rubbing the heel of my hand against her clit through the fabric of her jeans.

Nearby, a car honks, its lights flashing, and I force my head up long enough to see a group of people moving toward their car, having just unlocked it remotely. Damn. They'll end up too close to us not to notice. I'm painfully hard, and judging by the fact that Kalli didn't even notice the honk, I know she's close. But there's no time. I pull on her bra strap, jerking it back into place and dragging her shirt up too.

She whines in disapproval, and I pull her up to a sitting position, kissing her quickly on the mouth.