Instant Gratification (18 page)

“Yeah.” Feeling suddenly a little misty himself, he pulled her in for a hug. “But good weird.”

Annie’s breath caught as she pulled back to cup his face, her smile soft and warm and happy, so happy it almost hurt to look at her. “Yeah?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he whispered back. “Now you’ll have someone new to boss around. No one does that as good as you.”

“Aw, that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. Now.” She moved to the kitchen window. “Back to you.”

“I don’t want to talk about me.”

“Even if the woman you think you don’t want to talk about, the one who’s leaving soon, just drove up?

He stood up, watching as Emma parked her father’s truck out front. “What do you mean, leaving soon?”

“They found a buyer for the clinic,” Nick said.

Goddammit
.

He walked outside as she got out of the truck, and though he’d just eaten and satisfied his belly, his gut still took one hard kick at just the sight of her.

S
tone watched Emma stride toward him, her legs eating up the ground. He wondered if she was going to mention that she was leaving.

He’d have guessed that the thought of leaving would make her happy. Yeah, he’d really thought that, except the look on her face didn’t say happy. It said frustration.

It said tension.

It said unhappiness. “Dr. Sinclair,” he said with mock formality, hoping to coax out a smile.

It didn’t. She stopped before him on the steps of the lodge, and when he reached for her, she jabbed him in the chest with a finger. “You should have told me.”

Okay, he’d play. He grabbed her finger. “Told you what?” That when she looked a little hot under the collar like she did right now,
he
got hot?

She yanked her hand free. “I know you saved my dad.”

Ah, shit
. That.

She let out a breath and lost some of her tension as she met his gaze, her own shiny, deep, and real. Very real. “Thank you for that, by the way,” she whispered. “I’m really glad you were able to get there as fast as you did.”

“I’d have done it for anyone, Emma,” he said, watching her turn and walk away a few steps. “And so would you. Thanks aren’t necessary.”

“You saved his life, Stone.”

“Yes. How many lives have you saved?”

She shrugged in acknowledgment of that. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me think his heart attack was minor?”

He sighed. “If you’d known, would you have agreed to stay?”

She turned back. Her eyes were cool now. “That question bites.”

“Yeah, it does.” But he needed the answer.

Shaking her head, she took in the sharp, craggy mountains behind her. “I’m scared to death for him,” she whispered, hugging herself.

At that, he let out the breath he’d been holding. Okay, he hadn’t been wrong about her. She cared, deeply. Question was, did she care for
him
as deeply? “Of course you’re scared for him. We all are. But he’s doing great.”

“I just wish I’d known. If we’d had the relationship he wanted,” she said quietly, “he’d have told me sooner. That’s my fault.”

“No, Emma, it’s not.” He pulled her around to face him. “He’s stubborn as a mule. A trait, I’m beginning to see is a family thing.

She shook her head as a small smile escaped. “You have this way of cutting right to the chase.”

“Saves time.”

“I just wish someone would have told me, that
you
would have told me. I thought—” She broke off, then shrugged. “I thought we might have had something.”

“Yeah?” He tried to get past the stab of the past tense of that statement. “I thought so too. You’re leaving.”

“I was always leaving.”

“Sooner than later.”

“Yes. Spence is leaving today and I’ll be a few days after him.”

“A few days?”

“By next week, certainly.”

While he tried to adjust to that, she said, “We have offers on the clinic.”

He closed his eyes. “He’s actually going to sell?”

“With the option of a contract for his services part-time so he doesn’t have to retire.”

“You’re worried about him, but you’re still going to leave?”

With a sigh, she started walking. “You don’t understand. After this week, he won’t need me full time.” She didn’t turn back to the truck, but walked across the wild grass in front of the lodge, and he followed.

“So you’re on the part-time daughter plan, is that it?”

“Yes, actually. I am.” She stopped and faced him. “That’s what our relationship’s always been, Stone. Part-time. If I could figure out how to do it differently, I would. But the truth is, the clinic is beyond him right now, and unlike what you seem to be implying, I’m not just walking away. I’m going to have him all set up before I go. I just wish I’d known about his condition sooner.”

Yeah. No way around it, he felt like a jerk for that. “Emma—”

“No, don’t.” There was a light breeze ruffling her hair and she shoved it out of her face. “You care about him. It’s good. It’s good that I know your loyalties are with him. It makes you trustworthy.”

He stared at her, not liking where this was going either. “But not trustworthy for you?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.”

Damn, if that one didn’t hit home. “You know what I think? That you’re using this as an excuse to run scared from whatever the hell it is we’re doing.”

“First of all, we’re not
doing
anything. We’re both geographically unavailable, remember? And second, you really think I’d use my father’s health as an excuse?”

“I think you’d do anything to get out of here. Away from the emotional roller coaster this place has presented. Compared to us, New York must feel like a dead zone. No personal emotions required.”

“Don’t,” she said tightly. “Don’t get me started. I came here for him. God, don’t you understand that? He needed me and I came.”

“And in return, you don’t need him at all? Is that what you’re saying?”

She let out a frustrated breath and then turned to walk again. “I’m a lot of things, Stone. Anal, obsessive, obnoxiously competitive…”

“Obstinate…”

Her lips quirked. “That, too.” She stopped and let out a breath. Closed her eyes. “You’re right. I’m looking for an excuse to blame you when the truth is, I’m so grateful that you were there that day that I don’t even care why you didn’t tell me. I’m picking a fight because…because I’m a coward.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Leaving you.”

He let out a breath and stepped closer. “So don’t go.”

“I have to. I am leaving, Stone. I am. I want us both to know that.”

Feeling like he’d swallowed sand paper, he nodded. “I know it, and I want you to know that I didn’t tell you because it was
his
story to tell, not mine. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I care about him, and I care about you. Very much.”

“Even though I’m going.”

“Even though you’re going.” He forced a smile. “You think if you say it enough times we’ll get used to it?”

“Yes.”

Fair enough. He reached for her, so over fighting with her. They didn’t have enough time left to fight. “Let’s be done rumbling in the parking lot.”

She tried to remain stoic and utterly failed as a small smile crossed her face. “I don’t know. I like to rumble.”

God, he loved her smile. “Let’s kiss and make up instead.” Reaching up, he set his palm on her jaw, then winced.

She pulled his hand down and looked at it. “You have a splinter.”

“It’s no big deal”

“It’s already getting infected.”

“Later.” He tried to lean and kiss her but she slapped a hand to his chest. “Wait here.” She grabbed her bag out of the truck. “Come here. Unless,” she said with a raised brow. “You just want to use a Band-aid or super glue on this too?”

“Ha ha. I’m fine.”

“You will be. I have everything I need right here.” She patted her bag and smiled reassuringly. “And there’s not a needle in the mix, I can promise you.” Without waiting for him, she took his hand again, pulling it closer, turning it to get better light. It also blocked his view of the tweezers she’d pulled from her bag, which amused him. “You think I’m a pansy-ass.”

“No, I know you’re not.” She paused. “I’ve been thinking about what you said last night.”

He felt a very slight tug in his palm. “About…?”

“The letting me inside you thing.” Her gaze lifted from his hand to his eyes. “Specifically the part where I don’t connect.”

“Oh. I like the letting me inside you thing better.”

She laughed, and he felt another slight tug, but then she was leaning in so close that her breast brushed his arm, and he ceased to think at all.

“Did you know when you say it that way?” she murmured. “It sounds…”

Another slight tug, which didn’t bother him in the least
since another part of him altogether was once again stirring. “Sounds…?”

“Dirty.”

“You think sex is dirty?”

One more tug and then she ran her thumb over his palm, her gaze direct and intent on what she was looking at. “You heal fast.”

He grabbed her wrist when she would have turned away. “Nice change of subject.”

She smiled. “I’m the master at it.” She pulled her hand free. “Your splinter’s out.”

“Thank you.”

“And no.” She squirmed. “By the way. I don’t think sex is dirty. Although, we had our moments, didn’t we.”

He grinned. “Yeah.” He looked at his palm, while his heart thudded heavily with the weight of pretending that her leaving wasn’t going to destroy him. “Nice bedside manner, Dr. Emma.”

“Working on it.”

He cocked his head and studied her. “Is that what that was? Flirting, to distract me from what you were doing?”

“I didn’t intend for it to be
flirting
necessarily. But yes, I was trying to distract you.”

“Nicely played. Sex is always distracting. But why the change of tactic?”

She sighed. “I watched Spencer deal with a patient who needed stitches, and he did it better than me.”

“Ah.” Now it all made perfect sense. “It’s a competition thing.”

She winced. “I liked the look on the patient’s face. She…she
liked
him. She
connected
with him, because he made her feel better. I wanted that too, wanted to make you feel better.”

Touched, he took her hand. “You know, I like this new you.”

Clearly uncomfortable with that, she looked away. “It’s the same old me.”

“Well whoever it is, I like her. So…back to that connecting thing.”

“Yeah, about that.” She closed up her bag, then looked at him. “Look, we all know that I didn’t want to be here in Wishful. But it takes a lot of energy to hold onto that much resentment. I had no idea.” She shook her head. “I must be burning calories left and right with it, because do you have any idea how many casseroles I’ve eaten in the past few months, and I haven’t gained an ounce. But I can’t do it anymore. No more resentment. Instead, I want to…”

“Connect.”

She smiled, looking relieved that he was following her. “Yeah.”

“Before you leave.”

“Yes.” She took a step into him and set her hand on his chest. “I want to go knowing I learned to fit in. That I learned to be…softer, kinder. More relaxed and laid-back, easygoing. Like you, Stone.”

She hadn’t taken her hand off his chest, which he considered fair game, so he put his hands on her as well, gently squeezing her hips, pulling her in, feeling the tension in her. “You’re not there yet.”

She looked down at their bodies now touching from chest to belly to thighs and everything in between, then back up at him, her eyes heating. “I know. That’s because when I’m with you like this, I don’t feel relaxed so much as…revved up.”

“Is that right?” He slid his hands up her back slowly, past her still slightly aching ribs, letting his fingers dig into her muscles just a little in a massaging pressure. “How about now?”

Her pulse kicked. Her nipples hardened, pressing against her silk top.

“Feel nice?” he murmured.

“Nice makes me think of kittens and flowers.” Her pulse was fluttering like crazy, which he liked. A lot. “I’m not thinking kittens and flowers, Stone.” She pressed into him, and he
knew the exact moment she felt how hard he was because her eyes locked on his.

“Yeah,” he said huskily. “My body thinks you’re hot.”

“And your brain?”

“Oh, my brain knows it.” He tilted her head up so that their mouths were only a whisper apart. “Let’s forget everything else, Emma, and connect.”

“And the rest.”

“Right. Let’s teach you to be laid-back. Easygoing. I’ve got just the thing.”

“Well…in the name of personal growth then,” she whispered, letting her fingers play with his hair at the nape of his neck.

“In the name of personal growth.” They kissed, long and deep and so hot he nearly melted.

E
yes still closed, Emma pulled back, breathing hard. “Okay, it’s not working.” When she opened her eyes and met Stone’s dark, heated gaze, she felt…flummoxed. When he looked at her like that, she felt other reactions as well; in her throat, in her belly, in her upper chest, which she told herself was a purely physical response to a gorgeous man, but she knew the truth.

It was her heart, something she wasn’t quite ready to admit. “I’m the opposite of relaxed.”

“We’re getting to it.”

At the sexy confidence in his voice, a shiver of desire shot through her. “We should be over this by now.”

“I don’t feel over it.” Slipping his hand around the back of her neck, he let his fingers play on the delicate skin as he kissed her again, opening his mouth on hers, letting her know how much he wanted her, which was the most amazing thing to her.

He wanted her.

Slowly, he broke off the kiss, taking his damn sweet time about it too, leaving their lips still touching for a long beat before finally pulling away. “Do you?”

She looked into his eyes. Dammit. She’d had lovers. Maybe not a lot of them, but certainly enough. And not one, not a single one, had ever made her feel like Stone did, like if she didn’t have him, nothing was ever going to be right again. “You’re not taking my problem seriously.”

“You know what I think?”

“That sex is the answer to all the planet’s problems?”

He grinned. “Well, yes. I also think you’re trying too hard.”

She stared at him, lifting her hand to touch her still wet, slightly swollen lips. “How do you stop trying to relax?”

“Stop thinking.”

“Yes, but…with us, everything’s so…hot. So wild.”

Looking quite proud of that assessment, he smiled.

“It makes my brain race.”

All she could think about was him, the way his body moved against hers, how he was made of pure corded sinew, how warm his smooth, tanned flesh felt against hers. And then there were his eyes.

And his mouth.

God, his mouth. “How? You’re pretty potent, you know.”

“Same goes, Emma. Come on, I have an idea.” Taking her hand, he tugged her around the side of the big lodge to the first of two equipment garages. Opening the first door, he led her inside, where there was a large snowcat, several quads, a snowmobile, and a whole bunch of other outdoor equipment she couldn’t quite catch because he turned her toward the small office to the right.

“Nick’s,” he said, and opened the door. The room had a metal desk and an old, beat-up couch. Skis, poles, boots, bikes and other various parts were scattered everywhere except the one spot where a large basket sat next to the couch. In it was a watchful Chuck, and her four soft, fuzzy, wiggly kittens.

“
Oh
,” Emma murmured, her heart melting in a puddle as she dropped to her knees by the basket. “Oh, look at them.”

“Their eyes just opened this morning. See that soft gray one?” Stone crouched just behind her, speaking softly, pointing to the one kitten she’d already spotted, the one that was just a little bit separate from the others. “She’s the youngest.”

“The runt.”

“No, she’s not weak. She’s a fighter. Look at those eyes. She’s fierce, intense, and just a little bit pissy.” His voice was full of both amusement and pride, and Emma turned her head to meet his gaze.

“She reminds me of you.”

“Hey,” she said with a laugh. “
Pissy
?”

He smiled, and she sighed. “Okay, so we share a few traits. Are you sure she’s a she? Because Chuck surprised all of you.”

“She’s a she.” His gaze ran over the features of Emma’s face, which felt like a caress, and her entire body reacted.

“You know,” she said unevenly. “It’s a pretty cheesy move on your part to use kittens to soften the female into having sex with you.”

“So it’s working then?”

“No,” she said on a laugh.

He lifted a kitten and nuzzled it to his jaw, and every hormone in her body stood up and tap-danced. Apparently in agreement, the kitten “mewed” softly, let out a huge yawn, and cuddled against him.

Emma’s heart, already melted, twisted hard.
Dammit
. “It’s hard to think too much when you’re holding one of those.”

“Okay.” Shifting, he set the kitten in her arms, who happily snuggled in, and Emma sighed, definitely falling for the sweet little thing.

And maybe, just a little, for the man as well.

Or a lot…

As she thought it, as she leaned over the kitten to kiss Stone, to crawl into his arms and burrow in much like the kitten had, the door behind them opened.

Stone sighed and looked up at Nick, standing there holding the door open for Spencer and Serena.

Nick lifted a brow at the sight of Stone holding Emma, who was holding the kitten. “Bad timing, huh?”

“No, not at all,” Emma said, backing out of Stone’s arms, who turned and gave Nick a long, thanks-a-lot look.

“Sorry,” Nick said lightly. “Spence’s leaving today, and he wanted to see the kittens before he left. But apparently he’s not the only one who hoped to use the adorable factor to his benefit.”

Spencer and Stone winced in unison.

“Hey,” Emma said, slipping the kitten back in the basket with reluctance. “Give the women some credit. We recognize the tactic.”

“Definitely,” Serena agreed, but then turned to look at Spencer speculatively. “Is that what you were doing, using the kittens to seduce me?”

“No. Absolutely not. I was using the kittens to make you
want
to be seduced, so that on my next visit—”

“I’d be all buttered up.” She gave him a long look. “I haven’t yet decided on you, Dr. Spencer Jenks.”

Spencer’s dark eyes and dimple flashed. “Which is why I’m hedging my bets.”

“Well I’ll tell you,” Serena said. “It’s going to backfire on you, because kittens make a woman want to be seduced now, not later.”

Stone looked at Emma, who laughed and shook her head.

He sighed, rose to his feet and pulled Emma to hers. “Excuse us,” he said to the room. When he had her outside in the hot sun, he looked at her. “I thought I’d give Spencer a second chance with Serena.”

“And you a second chance as well?”

“Most definitely.”

She laughed, and he loved the soft, musical sound. They walked the trail back around the side of the lodge. It was a beautiful day, and he pulled her around, backing her to the wall of the lodge.

“What?”

“Back to that relaxing thing.” He slid his fingers into her hair.

Her lips quirked as he leaned into her. “I’m going back to the clinic now, Stone.” Belying the words, she put her hand to his jaw and he turned into her touch. “You have to admit,” she said quietly. “This is unexpected, this thing with us. Unexpected, and surprisingly persistent.”

“Surprisingly.” He looked a little amused. “So what do you do in New York with surprises?”

“Work them into my schedule.”

He laughed and shook his head, cupping his hand over hers, bringing her palm to his mouth.

“We’re awfully different, Stone.”

“Yes, and you happen to like those differences, remember? You wanted me to help you bridge those differences.” He put his mouth to her ear. “Run back to the clinic. But go out with me tonight. We’ll finish what we started here. I’ll show you how to relax.”

“I’m taking Spencer to the airport.”

“Afterwards then.” He flicked his tongue over her earlobe. “It’ll be worth your time.”

She shivered and tilted her head, giving him better access. “I don’t think a date is the right way to handle this situation.”

Keeping his mouth on her, he ran his hands up her sides. “What would be?”

She thunked her head back against the wall. “A bucket of cold water over my head.”

He grinned and lifted his head. “You need a bucket of cold water around me?”

“With ice.” Seeming to gather her thoughts, she straightened and shook her head. “I think it’s best to forget it. I’m leaving, and whatever we’d do will just make it that much harder to go.” She jabbed him lightly in the chest. “Don’t follow me.”

He took her finger from his ribcage and entwined his fingers with hers. “Does that work for you in your ER, that point and demand thing?”

“Yes, actually. In my world, I’m quite intimidating. It’s how I get what I want.”

With a smile, he shook his head. “It’s okay, Emma. You don’t have to throw your weight around with me. You keep thinking. I’m sure the longer you think about loosening up and relaxing and connecting, the easier it’ll get. Maybe by the time you get back to New York, you’ll have it down.”

She just stared at him. “Maybe you could just write down the instructions.”

“Come out with me tonight and I’ll make you a list.”

She walked to her father’s truck, then turned back. “A list?”

“Sure.”

“On how to be more easygoing and relaxed? On how to fit in? How to connect?”

He was quite certain that she had no idea how vulnerable she looked, and how utterly irresistible. “Yes, I will. Think of it as an Olympic event. I’ll be your coach.”

“A training session then.”

“If that makes you feel better.”

She stared at him, then let out a breath. “I’m insane. Hell, you’re insane. But yes.”

When Emma got back to the Urgent Care, Missy Thorton was there waiting for her, claiming to need her dish. The older woman sat in the kitchen while Emma transferred the Thai food to another container and washed out the casserole dish.

“I didn’t really come back for the dish.”

Emma looked up. “No?”

“No. Well, yes. But mostly, I wanted to tell you something before you leave.”

“Okay.”

“Your momma came back here once. Did you know that?”

Emma looked up from the sink. “What?”

“About ten years ago now. The rumors were she came back to reunite with your daddy, but that’s not what she wanted. She wanted one hundred thousand dollars. It wiped him out, but he took out a second mortgage on this place and gave it to her.”

Emma set the bowl down and stared at her.

Missy nodded and her blue hair bounced. “It’s why he doesn’t have any large retirement funds. He never built them back up. We all figured your mom wanted a trip around the world or something like that, but she had a fancy husband to pay for such a thing, so that didn’t make sense.”

Ten years ago, Emma had been turned down for financial aid for medical school because her stepfather had been making a fortune. But he hadn’t offered to help her. Emma had looked into student loans. Four years of pre-med at twenty-five grand each would have put her at her BS degree with a hundred grand in debt and four more years of medical school still to get through.

At the time, Emma had panicked. She’d thought maybe she should do something other than become a doctor. Taco Bell was always hiring, and she did love their food. Or Target. She could get good clothing discounts, plus she looked good in red and khaki.

Her mother hadn’t been amused. She’d bossed, yelled, cajoled, and demanded Emma not give up, so Emma had tried for grants, but she’d been denied.

Then her mother had shown up with a check, written from
Sandy’s own personal account. She said it was a gift, one Emma wasn’t to question or ponder or give another thought to.

Emma had never been so grateful or felt more love in her life.

Her mother had never brought it up again, though Emma had. Plenty of times, including the day she’d gotten her first job in the ER, when she’d begun paying her mother back from each paycheck.

Her mother had always taken the checks with a sweet, grateful smile, and never once, not one single time in all these past ten years, had Sandy let on that the money hadn’t been hers to begin with.

Sick, Emma turned her back on Missy and closed her eyes.
Her father had paid for her education
.

“Dr. Sinclair? You okay?”

Emma drew a deep breath. He’d never once asked for a thank you, or thrown it in her face, or even so much as mentioned it.

In return, what had she done?

She’d griped about being here, thrown it in
his
face at every turn, and had mentioned, oh a million or so times, how much she wanted to get back to her own life.

She’d thought Serena was the bitch. Ha! Serena had nothing on her.

“Dr. Sinclair?”

Emma closed her eyes.
Dr. Sinclair
. All those weeks she’d been wanting a sign of respect, some sort of verification that the people in Wishful knew how important she was, and she’d just gotten it.

Yet it was
she
who owed the respect. “I’m okay, yes.”

“I debated about telling you the truth.”

“Why did you?”

“For him. So that before you leave you know what kind of a man he is.”

“You know I’m leaving?”

“When will you learn? I know everything.”

Emma could do nothing but laugh. After she gave Missy the dish, they walked out to the reception area together, where Missy pulled out her checkbook and asked for a pen. “For my last two visits. I know how you like your money.”

Emma gently pushed the woman’s checkbook away and offered a smile she hadn’t known she had. “I’d rather have another Thai dish if you don’t mind.”

Later Emma walked upstairs, took a good long look at her mom’s picture on the mantel and sighed. “You should have told me.”

What does it matter where the money came from
?

“It matters to me.” She knew it mattered to her father as well—oh not that he’d given the money to her, but that she’d followed in his footsteps. That she’d become a doctor like him. “You should have told me,” she said again to Sandy’s face, and then lifted her gaze to the mirror and looked at her own reflection. She had one foot out the door now, the freedom in sight.

For the first time, she hesitated. She’d come for her father. This is what she’d been telling herself for two and a half months now. She was in Wishful for him.

Except she’d just realized that it wasn’t one hundred percent true.

She’d also come here for herself. For her lonely restlessness. For the part of her that said she was missing something.