Instruction in Seduction (20 page)

At first she felt tearful but she pulled herself together. The last time she’d seen it, had been the night before she left for London. She remembered Kirsty had gone into one of the drawers to give her a notepaper set to write to her on. Ailsa remembered feeling guilty. She’d loved her sister dearly but sometimes her glory meant she’d overshadowed everyone around her. Ailsa wanted time in the sun too. But maybe, in a strange way, Kirsty’s list had repaid that debt in all the ‘out of character’ memories she’d given her.

She remembered hugging her sister, hoping in London she’d get her own chance for her wings to unfurl. She’d never realised that she’d never see Kirsty conscious again.

“It didn’t look as nice as this before,” said Ailsa fingering the wood.

“I've had it restored. I know a guy; figured it’s the least I could do since I forgot it.”

“Lovingly restored too.” She’d never noticed the intricate inlay before. The gilding, the exquisite carving on the legs. “Bloke who did it reckons it’s rare.”

“It’s most precious of all to me.”

“I’ve met someone new,” Greg admitted softly. “Time to let go, move on.”

Ailsa touched his shoulder. “What’s her name?”

“Meg. She’s an artist. She was painting the centre in glow in the dark graffiti. Let’s just say we started to like spending a lot of time in the dark together.”

Ailsa laughed. “Bring her for a drink? Say I’m an old friend; it’s true.”

Greg smiled. “Sure.” And he handed her a small key. “There are diaries in the bottom compartment. I never read them but you should – you know Kirsty always envied you, Ailsa?”

Ailsa looked back at him askance. “Me?”

“She said she’d love to be like you, her looks got attention but your jokes and personality wouldn’t just light up the room. They’d warm people’s hearts.” Greg looked at his watch. “Meg’s meeting me.” A minute later he was gone and Ailsa could let the tears fall silently unobserved.

She had her mother’s desk. Her sister’s diaries. The only thing she wanted most now, was Nick. She’d just have to learn from that.

“You always want what you haven’t got,” she told herself softly.

Chapter Fourteen

The Technicolor splendour of Ailsa’s computer screensaver goaded every time it flashed in front of her line of vision.

“Annoying,” Ailsa muttered and clicked refresh on her email inbox again. Secretly hoping that something from ‘Palmer, Nick’ might appear. Ailsa clicked out of email and the screensaver lurched back.

“Hey sexy,” it beckoned. “Fancy getting wild jungle style?”

“Fat chance,” Ailsa told it with a scornful look.

It showed a muscle bound Tarzan who slowly stripped from his safari suit down to a loin cloth then a jungle tiger print fig leaf. To call him ‘well proportioned’ would have been unfair.

Only Ailsa didn’t feel like playing a Peeping Jane. Not with him anyway. Six

minutes later Tarzilla was consigned to her recycle bin.

Lisa had sent it as a pick me up. It hadn’t worked. It reminded her too much of Nick; great body and a too beckoning smile.

Ailsa actually contemplated going to the pub on her own after work. She’d just struck a point that could actually qualify as sufficiently low enough.

“Right, day over,” she muttered and switched off the lights just as Johnny walked in the room. “You’re back?”

Johnny was happy. Life was wonderful;
his life
was wonderful. He and Sally were bathing in love’s rose-tinted glow. Sadly Ailsa was trying to avoid the splashes from their mutual pool party of passion.

Two weeks before Sally had moved in on a permanent basis. He’d put past failed relationships and bad luck behind them and seized fresh courage.

By now Nick probably had some chic blonde hanging on his arm and every word; the thought agued her.

“I’m glad you’re here as I’ve an urgent job,” Johnny said.

Ailsa groaned. “But I’m not feeling good,” she faked a cough and grasped any excuse. “Throat, head too; came on really fast.”

The pub still beckoned in her mind.

“There’s a cab coming for you. PDQ delivery to Cramond. Can’t be stalled.”

“At rush hour?” Ailsa felt her nostrils dilate.

But Johnny wasn’t listening, “I’d go myself but Sally has a rare night off.” Johnny waved a note with the address details near her, and placed an oversized box on her desk. “Be a pet?”

Unable to conceal her inner tornado, Ailsa grabbed her bag with a glower. “Oh alright, not that I’d expect any sympathy.” There was a cab horn’s beep outside the window and Johnny didn’t even let his eyes leave the paper he was reading as he waved her goodbye.

Ailsa let the door slam. Life was rubbish.

Lisa had moved out with Andy and all she had was Bogey the cat.

Meanwhile Ailsa missed Lisa and hadn’t heard from Nick since his Edinburgh visit; a visit that had only served to underline her biggest mistakes. Ailsa climbed into the cab, announced the address and tried not to think about how miserably lonely going home to an empty flat felt.

When she reached Cramond she found an impressive four storey townhouse at the designated address. It was vast and boasted impeccable old style meets modern refurb taste. In spite of telling the driver to wait, she watched as he zoomed off moments later while she was still fiddling with the garden gate.

“Can nobody listen to me today? I hadn’t even paid you,” she yelled up the road, then trudged to the doorstep clutching her box, still watching as the careless cabbie become a speck on her landscape. Feeling like the unluckiest person in the life queue, she hammered hard on the door.

The large stained glass door opened and Nick just stood watching her sagely. “Don’t take it out on the brass knocker.”

“Hi,” she said tight-lipped and clamped her mouth shut on the shock. Then wobbled on her heeled boots. An internal fog of panic and elation kidnapped her oxygen supply and made her chest squeeze.

“What are you doing here?”

He reached out to steady her. “Clearly not improving your state of mind any.”

Ailsa double-took. “My taxi disappeared,” she said as if it explained everything.

He seemed taller than she remembered, framed by the door. The kind of man that made your heart bounce like it was on a championship yo yo. He was even more cool, irresistible. More wantable than ever. Just like he’d been at New Year, only more.

Ailsa gulped. Realisations flooding her on how much she’d missed him and how much she wanted him. It was too late for emotional barricades and dam’s eventually had to break under the pressure of wanting something so bad and losing it. She already loved him and wanted him more than any man in her entire life.

How foolish it was to deny? She should really be apologising and falling at his feet for what a fool she’d been to evade her yearnings. And the hold he still had on her heart. It might be fragile but it was still beating. And that meant it was worth a risk on a man this wonderful. If he still wanted her?

“My cab drove off,” she whispered, looking at her address on the note. “I was just thinking of you again.”

“A good sign,” Nick said with a smile. “I organised the cab by the way. He was right to leave. You’re not going back.” He tugged her into the hallway and took the box from her arms. “I told Johnny to get you here; bribed him actually. It took the promise of rugby and a new game for his Xbox. He’s hard to manipulate.”

Ailsa shrugged. “Unless your name is Sally.”

Ailsa realised it hurt to watch Nick standing there, looking so good. Gorgeous hair, fab profile and amazing everything that you wanted to take a quick snap of and keep in an album close to your heart. And it was then she noticed the bare chest. And his legs too were bare.

“Come in,” he said his face serious. “It’s chilly here.”

“I can see. What aren’t you wearing?”

Ailsa fixed her gaze on his legs. Nick showcased lots of tanned smooth skin, demonstrating smooth muscles to die for. Long strong limbs and glistening toned sinew – wrapped up in a cook’s apron and not much more. Beneath the navy striped apron, she glimpsed silk boxer shorts when he turned.

“I’m cooking. I wanted a shower but my cooking went wrong. I go up in smoke without you.” He grinned. Then realised the faux pas about her burned family home. He reached out,” Bad analogy.”

Ailsa just shook her head. “Actually I’m over it. Sometimes you have to leave the past behind to truly appreciate it. Do you know I’ve seen more of my Mum’s family and old neighbours since the house fire? It means I have to go and see them. Win, win.”

Ailsa followed into a grand wooden floored hallway though inside there wasn’t much in the way of furniture. He led to an expansive dayroom come kitchen. Tea crates full of packed gear littered the place.

“I need to tell you something; I miss you, Nick. I was a fool to get cold feet and I’m probably too late and you think I’m an idiot. I know I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not too late; you’re just on time, and if you’re an idiot then I’m one too. Because I love you,” Nick said solemnly. He nodded to the box, “They’re yours; flowers. I’m glad you miss me; that makes me feel a whole lot better for doing all this and hoping you wouldn’t bolt out again.”

Ailsa flipped open the box lid and floral perfume filled the air. She saw the tips of the beautiful coloured blooms. It made it hard to breathe without falling over.

“I pushed you away. I shouldn’t have. Because now you’re gone I can’t stop thinking about you. I know we were just about sex but it became much more to me.”

He stopped her with his tone. “It was never just sex. The list was a means to an end – my way of spending time with you, trying to break down those inhibitions. And I’m not gone now, I’m back.” He looked at her in that devastating way he had. In one look he could turn her entire nervous system to unset jelly on a radiator.

She cleared her throat, “You really wanted to spend time with me?”

“Is that so hard to get your head around? I blame your twenty feet high steel reinforcement blockades of self delusion. I fancied you from the start but not because you acted the vamp. What’s wrong with me wanting sweet, kind, thoughtful, fun, sexy Ailsa? The real you? The girl I’d happily just kiss or talk to all night. I figured I couldn’t unlock your reservations or get you to give your heart to me. But in London I missed you like crazy and I realised I needed to make a grand gesture – so here it is.”

Ailsa whispered. “I couldn’t see I loved you. I’ve relied on myself so long it’s become a hard habit to break.”

“I’m cooking,” said Nick like that explained everything. “Supper. In the house I’ve bought to impress you; to show you I’m here if you’re still interested.”

Ailsa looked around the amazing designer home he’d bought.

“Like it?” he prompted.

“What about Jake?”

“Loves it,” Nick replied. “You made me see I need drastic action. To get through to a crazy mixed up Scottish woman who made me lie and say I’d met someone just to see if you even flinched. You didn’t; just to further confound my plans.” He paused then and let the words sink in. “I hear you’ve a print of Edinburgh Castle; kind of gave me hope to think you might still remember me in some ways?”

She said it so softly she barely heard it herself. “I love you. Always have.”

Nick pulled her to him and tucked her against his body and held her in his arms. He gently kissed her forehead. “I love you too. Lisa and I have been going head to head on it a few times. And I’m here to show you I’m serious. Now you can’t give me the ‘you live in London, I live in Edinburgh’ line. Crazy hey?”

Out on the deck through the French doors there was a table set up for two. A perfect romantic tableau out on the dimly-lit deck. “All for you,” he said.

Beyond the splendid deck and impressive swathes of garden at the farthest end, Ailsa could just make out a sea view.

“I thought you’d found someone in London.”

“I didn’t want acceptance, Ailsa, I wanted you to need me,” said Nick, pulling her to him and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Lisa told me how you struggled losing Kirsty, then your Mum and you kept it all tight, hardly cried. That you had to deal with losing the two dearest people to you and you shouldered it so matter-of-factly because there was nobody else. That your father died when you were tiny and all you had were photos. That you and Lisa lived together but now she worries you’re on your own.”

Ailsa knew that tears were running down her cheeks; fast and free and steady. “Lisa and Andy are happy.”

“And so will we be. Can you bear to move out of your new place and helping me decorate this old pile? We can get married first or not, whatever suits.”

Ailsa gasped, needing a refresher on what he’d just said.

“You really want me here with you?”

“Why else would I buy it? Why else would I move life to Edinburgh?”

Nick held her arms in strong, warm hands and stared at her. Ailsa felt him pull her gently closer and then he did amazing things with his fingers to loosen the knots she had behind her neck (the ones she’d had there for nigh on eight years now that never went away).

Nick told her. “We’re not so different you and me. But together we’re unstoppable. I love you Ailsa and I won’t let you down. But don’t evade me. Give me your trust and I’ll prove I’m worth it.”

On the dresser was the small leather box she’d had returned to him via Sally. A box she’d assumed had been returned to the engagement ring specialist.

“I can’t believe you've done all this. That you care enough.”

Nick held her gaze level, “How could I ever forget the best New Year’s kiss of my life? Ailsa Murray I want a future for me and Jake here. Amanda and Mark are buying my old house so that Jake isn’t losing his home. He’s gaining an extra one (with a plentiful supply of rugby matches). We can just try it out for size first.”

She whispered against his warm shoulder, “I’m lucky to have you.”

“I had a fight though. Johnny fancied this house himself.”

Ailsa stared at Nick then looked unrepentant. “No way. He can find his own love nest.” She reached up to put her hands around his neck and pulled him close to kiss her.