Into Her Life: (The Complete Taboo Story of Forbidden Love) (3 page)

"Maybe ten."

"I'll leave something in the fridge." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and left for work.

He was much later than ten that night. Keryn had already gone to bed, but she heard him come in. She wanted to get up, but something inside told her not to. She was completely conflicted about how to act around C.J., like normal right and wrong didn't really make sense. Acting the way a normal sister would act with a normal brother wasn't possible for her, because they'd never been a normal brother and sister. And now, with the strange ideas that seemed to pop into her head, she just didn't trust any of her instincts.

On Wednesday morning she came out of her bedroom prepared to put on another show. She had on a fresh pair of yoga shorts in navy blue, and she knew how good her ass looked in them. She still wasn't sure why it was so important that her ass look good in front of C.J., but somehow it seemed like the most important thing in the world.

She was surprised to see him sitting up on the couch. "Morning," he said.

"Oh," she replied. "Um, good morning. I'm just going to do my yoga if you don't mind."

"Not at all," he said, gesturing to the space of bare floor in front of the couch. "Sorry I missed you last night. We went late."

"No problem," she said. She unrolled her yoga mat. She could feel her face burning. She was prepared to do the routine with him pretending to sleep, but to do it in those tiny shorts, with him sitting on the couch and openly watching made her feel very strange. All the same, she put in the DVD, waited for the video to begin, and got into the opening posture.

"Guess I'll grab breakfast," C.J. said, and he got off the couch. A few minutes later he returned with a bowl of cereal. He didn't sit down behind her, but instead stood to the side, watching and eating.

"You're pretty intense about yoga, huh?" he said.

"Yeah," she said, going from movement to movement. "It keeps me in shape, clears the mind."

"That's good," he said, and paused to crunch another mouthful. "Playing guitar is most of the exercise I get, but it can be a pretty intense workout if you're really going at it. The only problem is, most players tend to hunch a little when they play. I do some pushups and situps to try to help my posture. I don't want to end up with a hump."

"You have pretty good posture," she replied. "You stand pretty straight."

"Thanks," he said. "You too. Well, obviously. You're in great shape."

"Thank you," she said. She smiled and felt her face redden. She kept her eyes focused straight on the TV.

Chapter Five:
Would He Hate Her?

That night when she got home, C.J. was at work in the kitchen. She said hello and then went and showered, dried herself, reapplied her makeup, then slipped into her bedroom and selected a dress. It was a black cocktail dress that one would wear out to dinner in a good restaurant. She chose a pair of earrings, and then finally made an appearance in the kitchen.

"Need any help?"

"Oh, wow," C.J. said. "Are we going out? I'm cooking."

"No, I dressed up because you made me dinner. I always dress nicely if someone is making me dinner."

"Even if it's your brother?"

She shrugged. "Sure. It's fun. I'm just having fun."

"Oh. Yeah, cool." He finished what he was doing at the stove and brought two plates to the dining table. He'd made stir-fried rice with vegetables and shrimp. Keryn opened a bottle of wine, and they ate and drank and talked and laughed. C.J. told funny stories about musicians he'd known, and she told him about the many strange characters she'd met in the city. If it had been a regular date, it would have been a success.

Once they were through with the meal, C.J. put everything in the sink and prepared to do the washing up. "Leave it," Keryn said. "We'll deal with it later."

"What do you want to do?"

She shrugged. "Should we watch a movie?"

They picked something off the cable movie network and settled in on the couch, dimming the lights and pulling out a blanket. Keryn sat close to him with her feet tucked up on the cushions, and they spread the blanket over them.

The movie started. It was dark in her living room and it felt strange to sit so close next to him without touching him, so she slid over slightly and leaned against him. "Is that cool?" He smiled and put his arm around her, and they both looked at the TV.

The movie wasn't interesting, or at least, Keryn didn't find it interesting. She found it difficult to pay attention. At some point midway through, she reached a hand down at put it on C.J.'s thigh. He didn't respond, so she left it there.

There was a romance angle to the story, and the two lead characters finally made the grand connection, meeting in the man's bedroom. Keryn and C.J. watched as they kissed and kissed, with dramatic music playing in the background. The male lead pulled the female star's shirt up and off, exposing her slender torso, her breasts concealed by a black bra. The bra came off next, in nicely choreographed moves. The two actors fell onto the bed and continued kissing, while the camera moved back and forth over them, taking in the curves of the woman's back and buttocks, the admirable lines of the man's jaw.

Keryn could feel a stirring in C.J.'s pants. She had deliberately placed her hand on the top of his thigh toward the inside, and now he moved his leg slightly to adjust. He was getting hard, watching this sex scene with his sister's hand so near his crotch. When he adjusted his position, his dick slid up along the inside of his pant leg. It didn't quite brush against her fingertips, but she knew it was there.

The same twisting feeling rose in her stomach as when she'd stood in the bathroom while he showered. An opportunity was there for her, very close, but it was something she both wanted but knew she was not supposed to want. She felt sick with desire. There was a sense of revulsion too, but the disgust was with herself, not him. She swallowed. It was right there, just past the end of her fingers.

She moved her hand slightly so that her fingertips touched him through his pants, and she felt his body respond, his dick rising involuntarily to meet her touch.

"Sorry," he said, and tried to adjust his posture again, but she moved her hand so it rested lightly on his penis. Her first three fingers were on him. Her index and middle fingertips touched the hard shaft, and the fingertip of her ring finger lay on the soft ridge that marked the beginning of his cock-head.

She moved her hand lower and slowly began to run her fingers up and down along the shaft. He hardened more, his dick straining now, erect, but strapped in place by his pants.

C.J.'s breath was ragged. "Um, Keryn, um... are you... is this okay?"

She turned and looked up at him. "Are you okay?" She was lightly running her hand up and down on him now, up and down the shaft of his cock.

He could look her in the eye for only a second. Even in the darkness she could see how red his face was. After a long hesitation, he replied, breathless: "I'm okay."

The movie carried on, but neither of them were watching. She took him in hand, gripping his cock through his pants and masturbating him. C.J. closed his eyes and tilted his head back, carried away by the moment. She listened to him breathe as she worked, squeezing and jerking his cock. She could feel his shape in intimate detail, the contours of the shaft, the shape of the head. She was breathing hard too. It was impossibly hot under the blanket, but neither of them would push it off, unable to expose what they were doing to the open air of her apartment.

Keryn laid her head against his shoulder and rubbed him, feeling his cock, jerking him up and down. He moaned and groaned, then lay a hand on her thigh, squeezing her leg through the silky material of her dress. He came at once, grunting and rocking his head back. Keryn could feel his cock jump and pulse, the shots of his ejaculation pumping through.

He finished and slumped back against the coach, gasping.

She waited, then finally took her hand off his softening cock. She hugged him, reaching across his body, laying her head against his chest.

"Why," he softly asked, "why did you do that?"

She looked up at him. With the moment over, she could feel tears of shame and confusion welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just wanted to all of a sudden. Are you angry?"

C.J. managed a minor smile and leaned his head toward her so their foreheads gently touched. "Not angry," he said. "Just surprised. Very surprised."

She looked away but hung on to him, her arms around his neck, her head against him. He hugged her back, held her for a long moment, then shifted uncomfortably. "I need to use the restroom," he said. "I'm kind of a mess."

"Sure," she whispered, and released him. C.J. got off the couch and walked to the bathroom, stepping awkwardly from the feeling of hot come running down his leg.

Keryn was alone in the darkened living room, the bad movie still playing. The man and woman were driving in a convertible, looking happy. Keryn got up and went to the kitchen. She washed her hands very well, then went into her bedroom and closed the door.

She heard him outside her door a minute later. He knocked gently. "Keryn? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," she replied, her voice almost breaking. Her mind was filled with thoughts of them as children. The fights that had seemed so constant before seemed to fade now, and the image that persisted was the innocent young boy, little C.J. when he was calm. She had never loved him when they were children. Why not? There was something chemical between them. They just couldn't share space.

So why now? He was standing there, outside her bedroom door, and she wanted to open it and pull him inside, pull him to her bed. Was she crazy? What the hell was wrong with her?

"Did you want to talk?" he asked. He sounded calm, rational, measuring his tone, concerned for her.

"No thanks," she said. "I'm cool, okay. I um, just want to go to bed if that's okay with you. We'll talk later, okay?"

He paused. "Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She waited until he left the doorway. She hadn't turned on the light, and her room was illuminated only by the street lights shining through the venetian blinds on her windows. Her purse was on her desk. She dug inside and found the cigarettes and lit one. Her hands shook as she held the lighter up to the tip, and she exhaled, sending a cloud of gray smoke through the lined shadows of the blinds.

She was crying, and she didn't know why. He was out there. Would he hate her? Would he tell anyone? How did he feel? Did he feel molested, abused by an older sibling? He was a grown man. She had asked him, and he said it was okay. He never told her to stop.

Even so, there was a crushing feeling of loss, of something being destroyed. The worst conflict in her though, was the desire that remained, the feeling that she wanted to go further with him, much further, and that somehow it wouldn't happen, it had been spoiled somehow, and now he would surely leave her and they wouldn't speak or see each other again.

How had things become so screwed up? She smoked cigarettes and cried in the dark. When she felt completely drained, completely devoid of emotions, she finally crawled into bed, still wearing her dress. It felt stupid and shameful, a whore's dress, and she wrestled it off without getting up and deposited it on the floor next to the bed.

When she closed her eyes, the whole event played out in her mind. She remembered the feel of him in her hand. She thought of his size, his shape. She knew she should be angry with herself for thinking about it, but she had no anger left. She imagined the feel of him against her. She thought of his cock in her hand, both of them naked, guiding it to her mouth,  and to her wet vagina.

Keryn slipped a hand between her legs. She imagined the whole scene playing out again in detail. This time it would not be over so quickly. She imagined the bad movie, feeling his erection and playing with it, and then, instead of shock and murmured acquiescence, C.J. giving her a devilish smile and a kiss. He places his hand over hers and encourages her to feel his big, hard cock.

She slips to the floor in front of him, places her hands on his thighs. She unzips the front of his pants and he raises his bottom to pull them down. His cock is there, heavy, strong. It's a beautiful cock, its head shining in the light of the TV. A tiny clear pearl of pre-come already glistens at the tip, and she licks in, tasting his salt.

His balls are below, and she moves down to lick them, running her tongue around them, making him moan. He's running his hands through her hair, telling her how beautiful she is, how he couldn't believe it when he saw her, how this is most incredible thing...

Keryn had her legs spread now, masturbating with both hands while she imagined the scenario. She imagined taking his cock in her mouth, sucking it, sucking that big beautiful cock until he finally came...

She moaned, pushing her face into the pillow as she had her own orgasm, her body locking up as she clutched at herself with both hands.

He was still asleep when she woke up the next morning. For once she skipped every part of her morning routine and instead just slipped into the bathroom and refreshed herself, got dressed, and slipped out of the apartment before he could so much as twitch.

It was an awful day at work. Keryn stumbled along, going through the motions, cranky and distracted. Her co-workers took notice, and she deflected their questions. "I shouldn't have skipped my yoga this morning," she told Monica, her manager. "It throws everything out of whack."

"Well, please don't skip it anymore," her boss replied. "Go get a coffee. You look exhausted."

That night Keryn decided she wasn't quite ready to face C.J. yet. He was supposed to have a rehearsal with his band, but she didn't want to take any chances. Instead of heading home after work she met up with her friend Stacey, and the two of them went for sushi and drinks afterwards. Then after the drinks they went to another bar for more drinks, and then back to Stacey's to split a joint.

The whole time Keryn was bursting to tell Stacey what had happened, but she knew she couldn't. She could never tell anyone about it, ever, no matter what. Stacey could tell something was wrong, and Keryn played it off as work trouble, coupled with the fact that she'd broken up with Bryce.

"Bryce was an idiot anyway," Stacey said with a shrug. "I never liked him. You should get your brother to introduce you to some musicians. Not for anything serious, but just as a rebounder. Musicians aren't usually boyfriend material, but they can be fun for one-nighters."

Keryn laughed. "Yeah," she said. "I'll think about that."

By the end of the night they were both wasted. At one in the morning Keryn stumbled out of Stacey's apartment, leaving her friend passed out on the bed with her clothes still on. Keryn found a cab and managed to get home safe.

She did her best to make it inside quietly, but in her drunk condition she bumped and clattered her way in, shut the door with a thump, and finally made it to her bedroom. C.J. was on the couch, but she passed by without even a glance, heading straight to her room and closing the door behind her. Moments later she was asleep.

Keryn slept in late the next morning. C.J. was up when she finally stumbled out of the bedroom, and she moved like a whirlwind around the apartment, never pausing to let him speak more than a word to her. In no time flat she was out the door, leaving him standing in the kitchen.

Now everything was just as bad at work, except with the added fun of a crushing hangover. Plus, C.J. kept calling and texting her, asking her to call him back. She ignored everything, cursing herself that she would have to find another place to live. He could have her apartment and all her stuff. She couldn't go back there and face him. It was all too weird. She would have to just give up, let him have the place, and she would find somewhere else. Of course, she wasn't serious, but she dreaded the idea of the inevitable conversation that would have to take place between them.