Into Her Life: (The Complete Taboo Story of Forbidden Love) (4 page)

That night she gathered herself and went straight home from work. He had his show tonight. Maybe he would already be gone by the time she got home, but she expected to find him there, looking sad and confused, and they would have to have some really painfully awkward discussion about her choice to give her adult brother a hand job.

But he wasn't there. She breathed a long sigh of relief when she walked in and found the lights off, except for the one over the breakfast bar in the kitchen. She dropped her bag and wandered in there. On the bar was a folded piece of note paper with her name written boldly across the back.

Keryn poured a glass from the bottle of wine they'd opened on Wednesday, then sat down at the table and read what her brother had to say.

"Hey Keryn," he wrote in small, clear printing, "I'm sorry we haven't talked since the other night. I guess you're pretty freaked out by what happened. Maybe we can say it's just something that neither of us planned, and if you don't want to talk about it, I understand and that's okay with me. I don't want you to feel bad about anything. I've really enjoyed spending time with you here, and I hope everything's not all screwed up now, because I really want us to be friends."

She took a sip of wine. So far so good. He's okay with not talking about it. Good. She read on: "I have my show tonight," he continued, "and it would be great if you could make it out. It would be nice to see a familiar face there. Bring some friends if you want. It's at Sliders Bar. We're on at ten. Hope to see you. If not, we'll talk later. Love, C.J."

Keryn put the letter down. Tears welled in her eyes, and she realized how selfish she was being, cutting him out the way she had. She'd been embarrassed because she'd acted on a foolish impulse, but she hadn't thought about things from his point of view: alone in the city, relying on her not just for a place to sleep, but for some kind of friendly human contact, someone in his corner. She'd been even worse than the bitchy snob he'd remembered. She'd acted like a lunatic.

The wine was taking the edge off the lingering remains of the hangover. She got her phone from her purse and texted Stacey, inviting her out to the bar. Keryn gulped the last bit in her glass and went to change. She was better than this. She was going to get dressed, straighten herself up, and go cheer on her brother.

After a hot shower and some time with her hair and make-up, she went to her room and looked in her closet. She'd never been to Sliders before, but she didn't imagine it was a very fancy place. But for a Friday night with a band, she figured she should wear something nice. She pushed through her outfits, looking for something just right.

She paused at a purple and black dress. It was perfect for a night in the bar, but her first instinct was to wonder if C.J. would like her in it, if he would find her sexy. "I'm going crazy," she said out loud, but she pulled the dress off its hanger and draped it over herself. She looked in her mirror. She knew the dress hugged her curves and made her look hot. "Okay," she said and began to get dressed, ready to go out and cheer him on.

Chapter Six:
Something Wrong

Sliders Bar could have been in any city in America. It was a big place with a long, polished wood and brass bar, with lots of tables and booths. They had a dozen domestic beers on tap and a kitchen that served such exotic delicacies as the BLT and the turkey club, plus fries and nachos. It served a working class clientele and had no aspirations to do any more than keep the people of New York City drunk and entertained.

During the week, entertainment consisted of sports on the TVs scattered around the bar, but on weekends, the dim stage at the back of the long room was cleared off and set up for a band to play. The bands were almost always cover acts. Classic Rock was the typical genre.

It was not the type of bar Keryn usually visited. If she was in a bar, it was typically a club with a DJ, and people in expensive clothes getting drunk on martinis and doing coke in the bathrooms. Not that she used coke, but she'd seen it enough times. This was New York, after all.

On Friday night Keryn arrived at Sliders with her best friend Stacey. The bar was crowded, and The Guess Who was blasting over the sound system. "We're over-dressed," Stacey said as soon as they were inside.

The two young women were wearing stylish cocktail dresses, while the fashion in Sliders was dominated by denim. "We look hot," Keryn said to her friend. "We're the best-looking pair in here."

"Drinks," Stacey replied. The pair had been out late drinking the night before, and were both trying to bury their hangover. Stacey had argued against going out, but Keryn talked her into it. After all, Keryn's brother was playing on stage that night, and wanted to see a friendly face in the audience. And since there was no way Keryn was coming to this sketchy bar on her own, she pressed Stacey into service.

The pair of them slid up to the bar and waited for service. The bartender, a fat man with a walrus moustache, came over and served them Jack Daniels and diet coke, which they took to the back of the bar where the stage stood, dark and empty.

"What time are they supposed to play?" Stacey asked. "I want to see C.J. and get out of here."

"Soon," Keryn said. She was looking forward to seeing C.J. as well. It felt like she hadn't seen him in a long time, although it had really only been since Wednesday. Oh God, Wednesday, that crazy night when Keryn had given into a sudden impulse and touched C.J. while they were watching a movie on the couch. She'd touch his penis through his pants, then masturbated him under the blanket. She was still driving herself crazy with shame and confusion. But as much shame and confusion as she felt, the unnatural urge to touch him even more remained.

That was the second reason Keryn had made sure Stacey accompanied her to see C.J. perform with this cover band. She wanted to see her brother, but she wanted to stay in control, and there was no way she would let herself slip with someone there to witness it. She might have been crazy for lusting after her brother, but she wasn't so crazy that she would ever want anyone to know about it.

The two women stood in the open space in front of the empty stage holding their drinks. Men came prowling around, walking slowly past them holding bottles of beer, checking them out. That was nothing new. Keryn was a slender, toned young beauty with long, dark hair, and a face like a model. Stacey, although very pretty, did not have Keryn's classic features, but tended to draw more attention in darkened bars on account of her curvier figure.

The men cruised by, but the girls maintained their cool attitude and did not engage. They sipped their drinks and like the two fashion industry workers they were, looked around and commented on people's clothes.

"This is killing me," Stacey moaned. "Get me out of here. Where is C.J.? I want to stare at your hot brother, not look at these relics."

"Just hang on," Keryn said. As if on cue, the stage lights came on, illuminating the empty space that was decorated with a drum kit, several guitars resting on stands, a keyboard, and a few microphone stands. A few people came around to the space where the girls were standing, anticipating the show.

A door opened near the stage and a few guys came rambling up a staircase and out into the room, then directly up onto the stage. They looked like they were all in their forties or fifties. They were grey-haired, grizzled men, a few with pot-bellies, and a few with the lean, hard look of men who spent long days swinging hammers or hanging drywall. Only the last of them was a young man. This was C.J., the guest guitar player, filling in for the regular lead guitarist who was unable to play after having knee surgery.

While the four older fellows who led the way looked serious and business-like, C.J. appeared loose and happy to be there. The others stumped up a set of steps at the side of the stage, but C.J. jogged and leaped up to take his place, pulling his black-bodied electric guitar from its stand and slipping its strap over his shoulder.

"He looks hot," Stacey said, and Keryn felt a tingle in her stomach. It was true. C.J. stood straight and tall, with a lean, muscular frame, clear blue eyes, and his head of curly brown hair. He looked hot, and she felt strange standing in front of him, down in the audience, in her tight black and purple dress. Looking down at her from the stage, he would see the shape of her body in that dress. She wanted him to look and see her, but at the same time she couldn't stand it.

The members of the band took their places and started testing the sound levels, sending random notes blaring out through the stacks of speakers at the wings of the stage. The girls watched C.J. test his guitar. The young man played, watching the other players in the band, nodding to them in turn. When everyone was ready, he looked out into the crowd and finally took notice of the two young women standing near the stage, watching him.

A warm smile crossed his face, and he waved to them. Stacey clapped her hands and cheered, "Yeah, C.J.! Woo!" Keryn smiled shyly and gave him a small, embarrassed wave.

The drummer clicked his sticks sharply four times and the band began playing, banging out "Cinnamon Girl" to the appreciative crowd that started filling the empty dance floor in front of the stage. Keryn and Stacey held their ground so they could remain in front of C.J., watching him as he played, stroking the riff to the classic song.

They stayed there through the first set, only slipping away one at a time to bring new rounds of drinks. After an hour of songs the band called a break and took off their instruments. The crowd hooted and cheered as the sweaty players cleared the stage. The older men went down the steps and out through the side door, but C.J. jumped down and greeted Keryn and Stacey.

"That was awesome!" Stacey gushed, immediately wrapping her arms around the sweaty guitarist. "You're so good!"

"Wow, thanks," C.J. said. He allowed Stacey to release him, then reached over to touch Keryn on her bare arm. "Thanks so much for coming."

She smiled. "Of course. You guys are really good."

He nodded. "Yeah, these guys are really pros. Actually I need to go catch up with them. You guys are going to hang out, right? I'll come find you in a couple minutes, okay?"

He disappeared through the crowd and down the stairs after his temporary band. Stacey turned to Keryn. "How's your drink?"

Keryn scowled. "What was with that hug?"

"What?" Stacey shrugged. "I was being friendly. Should I not hug him? Is he off limits for hugs?"

"No," Keryn said. "That... just surprised me I guess." She could feel herself blushing.

"Oh my God," Stacey gushed, "are you getting all protective of your little brother? Holy shit, Keryn, he's not in middle school. He's already had sex and stuff. You know that, right?"

"I know!" Keryn snapped. "Augh! I'm fine! Hug him all you want!"

"No, no," Stacey said. "Forget it. Let's go get drinks." They started making their way through the crowd up to the bar. "But you totally looked jealous just now."

"Shut up," Keryn told her teasing friend, slapping her on the shoulder.

When they had their drinks, they headed back near the stage. C.J. came and found them, holding a bottle of beer. "Are you guys having any fun? I don't know if this is the type of place where you usually hang out."

"It's cool," Keryn said. "We're having a good time watching you."

He smiled at her and she almost wanted to run and hide. It was so strange, but her crush on him was so intense that she felt like a school girl around him.

The other players climbed up on the stage, and C.J. turned to look at them. "Okay, back to work," he said. He climbed back on stage and set his beer down on his amp. The players all got ready, and soon launched into "Mustang Sally."

The girls stood and watched as the band played on and on. The rhythm guitar player was also the singer, and he screamed and sang his way through a battery of old songs with the rest of the band blasting along with him. It was all high energy, and the room was alive. C.J. was having a great time, shaking along with the beat of each song, stroking the strings of his guitar, and smiling and laughing along with the other players.

Stacey was getting tired, and soon she was hanging on Keryn's arm. The band played on, but the heavy drinking the girl's had done the night before was catching up on Stacey. They danced, but Stacey could do little more than sway, yawning despite the loud music. "I'm going to go to the washroom," she said to Keryn, shouting in her ear to make herself heard over the band.

Stacey moved off through the crowd and suddenly Keryn found herself dancing alone in front of C.J., who was looking down at her. Keryn started rocking her shoulders to the rhythm of the song, swaying back and forth, letting her body flow with the music.

She slid closer to the stage and kept dancing, loosening up. The drinks and the music were getting to her, and just as she did when she performed her yoga routines in front of him each morning, she began to show off, dancing the way she did in the bars to impress men she wanted to fuck.

Her dress was tight and so was her physique. She let herself go, swinging her head to the beat, and running her hands down her body, knowing that once again she was crossing those lines, behaving inappropriately, putting herself forward sexually for her brother. Why couldn't she stop? What was wrong with her?

C.J. watched her, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. He played, rocking his hips, playing up to the songs, responding to her as she danced, showing off for her, trying to look sexy for her. It was a bizarre exchange, with the two of them trying to seduce each other in the crowded bar.

There was a tiny buzzing in her head telling her it was wrong, but the excitement in her tummy told her she should keep going. Her nipples were hard. She could feel them in her bra. She felt like she was behind the wheel of a car with too many drinks in her. What she was about to do was dangerous and could only lead to trouble, but she just couldn't help starting the engine to go for a drive...

Stacey returned to her side. She looked drunk and pale, and she hung on Keryn's arm. "You okay?" Keryn asked.

"I'm okay," Stacey said. "I'm getting a bit tired."

The girls stayed while the band played out the rest of their songs. When they finally finished, C.J. climbed down off the stage.

Stacey, who was both drunk and ready to flop at this point, again wrapped C.J. up in a hug. "That was great," she said. "Now I'm gunna go home."

Keryn held her friend. "I think I'm going to hang out for a while," she said. "Can you get a cab?"

"No problem," Stacey said. "You guys hang. I'll call you tomorrow."

The girls kissed and Stacey snaked away through the crowd toward the exit.

"Is she okay?" C.J. asked.

"Yeah," Keryn said. "I kept her up late last night."

He smiled. "I guess you had a lot on your mind or something."

Keryn smiled and stepped toward him, wrapping her arms around him, burying her face against his chest. "Yeah," she said. He was moist with sweat, but she didn't care. She liked it. "I guess I did."

He wrapped his arms around her and rocked back and forth playfully. The house music had come up, and they rocked like that together for a moment to the rhythm. "Fuck it," he finally said. "What happened the other night, anyway? Nothing, right? Let's not get all freaked out. No big thing. Let's just have a drink and have a good time, okay?"

Keryn let go of the hug and backed up, looking him in the eye. She knew it wasn't true, but she smiled. "You're right," she said. "Let's just have a good time."

He smiled and wrapped her in another hug. "I'm glad to hear you say that," he said. "I was pretty worried."

She detached from him. "Let's grab a drink," she said and took him by the hand. As she led him to the bar, she worried the whole way about how her ass looked in the dress, knowing he would be able to stare right at it.

They pulled up to the bar. Keryn brought the bartender over and ordered shots.

"No shots!" C.J. yelled. "I can't. Seriously. Beer is okay, but I don't want shots."

Keryn shrugged and changed the order. C.J. leaned in close. She realized he must be tipsy already when his head touched hers, and he said into her ear, "It's better. If we did shots I'd be done for."

The bartender put two beers down on the bar. Keryn paid, and they each took a drink. They found themselves standing for a moment, close together, looking each other in the eye, sharing the secret between them. It wasn't just that she'd jerked him off. That was small potatoes now. It was as though there was already the knowledge, an agreement between them from the first time their eyes met that night, that they were both ready to go way beyond a simple  through-the-jeans hand job.