Into The Fire (2 page)

“Maybe you can do it out of your apartment
until you get enough cash.”

“That’s not creepy…”

“It was just a suggestion, smart ass. It’s
better than all your ideas.”

I didn’t have any ideas. “Maybe I should just
go back in the army.”

He stopped eating. “Not funny, man.”

“It might piss off my parents enough that
they’ll give me back the money they owe me.”

“They’re assholes,” Sawyer said. “They’re
going to hold this over your head as long as possible.”

I had a feeling he was right.

“And you would really go through that again?”
he asked incredulously. “Back to Afghanistan?”

“It wasn’t the worst thing in the world…” I’d
seen a lot of things I wouldn’t share with anyone else. If people
shuttered at violent movies, they wouldn’t be able to handle all
the things I’d seen. Their stomachs couldn’t keep their lunch
down.

“I don’t want you to go,” Sawyer said. “You
came back this time but who knows if you’d come back again.”

It was a depressing thought. “Anyway, I’m
seeing my parents tonight so I’ll bring it up again.”

“Good luck with that.”

“But I’ll keep playing the Lotto. I have a
better chance of winning that than getting my savings back.”

“Why did you give it to them to begin
with?”

Because I was stupid
. “My dad was
going to lose his company if I didn’t. He’d already extended his
credit line as far as possible, and they would take the house if he
didn’t get the money. My parents would have lost everything,
including their reputation.”

“I’m surprised they took your money. My
parents would never take anything from me.”

“I knew it was a gamble at the time. If my
dad’s prototype wasn’t a success, they would have lost everything,
including my money.”

He shook his head. “I can’t believe they’re
holding it over your head like this.”

“They claim they don’t have the money but I’m
not buying it.”

He leaned back in his booth and sighed.
“Maybe you should go back in the military and give your parents a
heart attack.”

It was tempting.

***

I walked into my parents' house in
Connecticut. “Yo. Your baby is home.”

“Is that Ash?” Mom said quietly.

Dad whispered back. “Who else would barge in
like that?”

I entered the kitchen and saw them having tea
while reading the newspaper. “Your day just got brighter. What’s
up, Mom and Pop?”

Mom gave me a curt smile but it looked
forced. “Hey, honey. How are you?”

“I’ve been better.” I gave her a quick hug
then raised my hand to high-five Dad.

He eyed it awkwardly before he completed the
embrace. “What’s up, Son?”

I sat in the seat then snatched a cookie.
“Dude, these are the best.” I ate five of them in three seconds.
Crumbs got on the table and on my fingertips.

Mom eyed me with disapproval.

Dad was more laid back than Mom. “How was
your day?”

“Pretty shitty.”

“Don’t cuss,” Mom barked.

“Pretty lame,” I said. “The bank denied my
loan application again.” I watched their reaction to my news.

Mom eyed Dad then quickly looked down.

Dad felt his teacup but didn’t say
anything.

It got awkward fast. “I’m not trying to be
one of those annoying suits, but I could really use the money I
loaned you. It’s been four years and I’ve put off opening my shop
for too long.”

Mom sighed like she was irritated. She sipped
her tea without looking at me.

Dad continued to eye his glass.

Why was it always so awkward when I brought
up this subject? “Look, I know the business has been doing well.
Surely, you have the money by now.” I didn’t want to stick my nose
in their business but I didn’t know what else to do.

“Sorry, we don’t,” Dad said quietly.

“Seriously?” I blurted without thinking. “You
just bought a new Audi. How can you not have the money?” I didn’t
want to accuse my parents of lying but nothing was adding up.

“We got a loan,” Mom explained.

“Why are you buying things you can’t afford?”
I snapped. “Period.”

Dad glared at me. “Don’t talk to your mother
like that.”

“I’m not,” I barked. “I’m talking to
you
like that.”

The tension escalated.

“Look, you don’t have to give me all of it.
Just give me what you have. If I lessen the amount I need to
borrow, the bank might help me out.”

Mom and Dad stared at each other.

Seriously, what was I missing?
“You
must have some money to loan me. You’re making your mortgage
somehow and you just hired more employees.”

Mom fixed her hair like she was
flustered.

Dad adjusted his glasses like he didn’t know
what else to do.

“Okay, cut the shit,” I said. “What’s
up?”

Mom cleared her throat. “Ash, your father and
I love you very much…”

Oh no. Here we go.

“But we want you to turn your life around.
Opening a shop is just going to put you further down this
path.”

“What path?” I asked. “I’m happy. Don’t you
want me to be happy?”

Dad took over. “We think you could be happier
if you changed some things.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“How about you come to the company and work
there?” Mom asked. “You could move up and eventually take it
over.”

“But I don’t care about software,” I
answered. “I never have.”

Mom fidgeted with the fancy bracelet on her
wrist. “And owning a tattoo shop is something you care about?”

“Yeah.”
What was the big deal
? “I like
inking. I enjoy it. I always have.”

Mom eyed the ink on my arms with disdain.
“You need to make better choices in your life. Owning a tattoo shop
isn’t a good way to start.”

“And doing a job I hate will be?” I asked
incredulously. “Don’t you want me to do what I love?” I never
understood them.

“Of course we do,” Dad said. “But we don’t
think this is the best way to go about it.”

My anger was starting to bubble and I was
struggling to keep it back. I gripped the table because I wanted to
flip it over. “It’s not my problem you don’t agree with my life
choices. This is who I am and I’m never going to change.”

Silence fell in the room. Mom eyed Dad, and
he eyed her back.

“We’re tired of having to explain your
behavior to other people,” Mom said.

“Then don’t,” I said. “Who cares what they
think?”

“It hurts our image,” Dad said. “It would be
much easier for us if you—”

“Easier for you?” I asked. “It would be much
easier for me if I didn’t have to deal with this bullshit all the
time. Just pay back the loan I gave you and we can stop having this
conversation.”

Mom pushed her tea away like she might throw
it at me. “We’re still taking the heat from when you went to
jail.”

I rolled my eyes. Not this again. “Look, I
got a little out of control and—”

“You had sex with some woman in an alleyway,”
Dad snapped. “People still bring it up.”

“I didn’t know that cop was there, okay?” I
said. “I didn’t want to go to jail or get a public indecency
misdemeanor.”

“This is what we’re talking about,” Mom said.
“You make bad decisions and don’t think about anyone but
yourself.”

“You should try it,” I said coldly. “You’d be
a lot happier that way.”

Mom threw her arms down. “Ash, we aren’t
giving you that money until you clean up your act.”

Shit just got real
. “You’re joking,
right? I gave you that money so you wouldn’t lose your house. I
didn’t have to help you but I did because you’re my parents. And
now you aren’t going to give it back to me until you can control me
like a damn puppet?”

“Don’t cuss,” Mom ordered.

“This is fucking unbelievable. How do you
sleep at night?”

“We will give you back the money,” Dad said.
“We just want you to clean up a little bit.”

“Clean up how?” I demanded. “I’m not on
drugs.”

“You’re almost thirty years old and you’ve
never brought a girl around,” Mom said. “Why don’t you focus on
settling down and finding a family?”

“Maybe because I don’t want to.” I wasn’t
boyfriend material and knew I never would be. “My personal life is
totally irrelevant to this conversation. Just give me back the
money I loaned you. If I could get a loan, I wouldn’t bother with
you. But I don’t have a choice.”

“Exactly,” Mom said. “This is a blessing. Now
you can finally get your act together.”

I wanted to scream. “I served three tours in
Afghanistan. If that doesn’t make you proud, I don’t know what
will.”

They both had guilty looks on their
faces.

“You only did that to spite us,” Mom
said.

“And you think I won’t do it again?” I
challenged.

“That’s not funny,” Dad said.

“I wasn’t trying to be.”

Mom changed the subject. “This is how it’s
going to be. Make a few changes and we’ll pay back the loan.”

I couldn’t believe I was at their mercy like
this. I felt emasculated and weak. I never put up with someone’s
bullshit but I didn’t have any other option. As soon as I got my
money, I wouldn’t have to deal with their shit anymore. And I would
never help them again, even if they asked. “Like what?” I ground my
teeth together as I spoke.

“Find a nice girl and settle down.”

“What the hell is that going to do?” I
demanded. “What does it matter if I have sex with one girl or
twenty?”

Mom cringed at my crude words. “Because when
you find the right girl, you’ll grow up.”

“You think if I get a girlfriend, I’ll
suddenly change my mind about the shop?”

“Yes,” Mom said seriously. “You’ll realize
you can’t raise a family with that kind of reputation. You’ll open
your eyes and grow up. And you’ll thank us for it.”

“So, if I get a girlfriend, you’ll pay back
the loan?” That wasn’t adding up. “As soon as I get the money, I’ll
open the shop anyway.”

“When we see you fall in love with her, we’ll
hand over the money,” Mom said. “And then you can do whatever the
hell you want—and we know you won’t open that shop.”

I was already anti-girlfriend but I
definitely wouldn’t be with someone who didn’t accept me for who I
was. So, their plan was stupid. But I didn’t see any way around it.
If I just did as they asked, I’d get their money and pursue my
dream. Then I wouldn’t be at their mercy like this. I could finally
do what I wanted.

“Fine,” I said. “We have a deal.”

Dad visibly relaxed now that the fight was
over.

“And it better be a nice girl,” Mom said. “No
one with ink and that crap.”

God, my parents were judgmental
.
“Fine. Whatever. But you need to give me your word that you’ll
return my money.” I leaned forward and looked her in the eye. “I’m
not agreeing to this unless you do.”

She nodded. “I promise, Ash.”

I turned to my dad and waited for his
pledge.

“Yes, Son. We’ll keep our word.”

***

“How’d it go?” Sawyer asked when I walked
into his apartment.

“I’ll give you the short version of the long
version,” I said as I grabbed a beer from the fridge. “If I get a
serious girlfriend, they’ll give me the money.”

He was sitting on the couch watching TV. The
game faded to the background as he turned to me. “Wait…what? What
does that have to do with anything?”

“They know they can’t get me to change so
they think a serious girlfriend might have some magic up her
sleeve.”

“Dude, your parents are lame.” He took a
drink of his beer.

“My parents are shitheads. They already
disliked me when I started inking, but they really started hating
me after I was in jail for three days. In their eyes, I can’t do
anything right. Honestly, I wouldn’t give a damn if they didn’t
have my money.”

“Well, getting a girlfriend should be easy
enough for you.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I sat on the couch.
“How do you figure? I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”

“But it won’t be hard to get one.” He eyed
his watch. “You could get one before midnight if you really wanted
to.”

“Well, I know that,” I said before I took a
drink. “But I don’t want one. What do you do with them anyway?”

He shrugged. “Talk to them?”

“See, I don’t like to talk.”

“Take them out to dinner?”

“But then I’d have to talk to them for an
entire meal. Shit, I don’t have that much to talk about.”

“Have sex with them?”

“Well, I’m down with that. But I can’t have
sex with the same person more than a few times. It grows stale like
bread that’s been left out too long.”

“Then what are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “I’m not going to waste some
girl’s time by pretending to actually like her. That would be
fucked up. And how could I get a girl to go along with it unless
there was something in it for her?” I searched my brain for an
answer but was drawing a blank.

Sawyer did the same. He sipped his beer and
watched the game. Then he snapped his fingers as an idea came to
him. “Hire someone.”

I shot him a glare. “I’m not paying a
prostitute.” I’m not a judgmental person. People could do whatever
they wanted. But I wasn’t resorting to that.

“No, hire an escort.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“No. A buddy of mine did it because his ex
went to the same wedding as he did. He just paid some chick to be
his date and she played the part. Apparently, his ex was super
jealous…something like that.”

That was an interesting idea. “So, you just
pay them to be there?”

“Yep.”

“And that’s it?” It sounded too good to be
true.

“Well, they have rules and stuff…I don’t know
the specifics.”

“How do I find this place? Do you have the
number?”