I look back to
Rebecca ready to address this situation so that Ian can take me home. “Rebecca, this just looks desperate. You need to stop.” I know trying to reason with her will do no good but I don’t know what else to say. My resolve to ride this out is weakening and I just want to run into a darkened corner and cry.
“Stay out
of this. This is between Ian and I and has nothing to do with a gold digging bitch like you.”
“Rebecca, enough.” Heads turn in our direction at Ian’s booming voice.
He grabs her arm and drags her from the ballroom amidst astonished gasps, glances and whispers. It is all I can do to keep up with him and Patrick is right on my heels.
“I told you when you c
ame to the office that I didn’t want to see you anymore. This is the last straw. I will be contacting the authorities and I’ve been assured by my attorneys that it won’t be a stretch to get a protective order for both Lauren and I. If you have anything else to say to me you can do it through the court. I’m done dealing with you and I told you as much at Thanksgiving. So quit trying to make it more than it is and come between Lauren and I. You can be thankful I don’t hit women because if I did you would definitely be picking your ass up off the floor right now.” Turning to Patrick, “I suggest it’s time to leave and take that,” he gestures to Rebecca, who looks physically crumpled from his words, “with you. And watch yourself Patrick or the next restraining order will be against you.”
“Ian, this…”
“Stop right there. I don’t want to hear the excuses. I’m done with excuses from both of you. Seems like you’ll do anything to get close enough to make them and then you just turn around and pull the same old shit. I’m done, with you both. So once again I would suggest you leave now or I can call security and have you escorted out. You pick but do so quickly because I have no patience.”
Patrick storms off calling over his shoulder, “Let security deal with the garbage. I’m sick of her shit.” He keeps walking without ever looking back. Ian and I stand with a sobbing Rebecca for a few more minutes. When security arrives, her anger boils over once again.
“This isn’t over, bitch. I won’t be finished with you until I see you in the ground.” Security has her cuffed and is dragging her off to some unknown room to await the authorities but her message has come through loud and clear. Ian is on her in a second.
“You won’t
threaten my fiancée, Rebecca. If you try anything, I will personally see you put in the ground. Am I making myself clear?”
Her face goes pale and her eyes widen. “Make no mistake about how serious I am here, Rebecca. There is no room for error on your part. Death is pretty final don’t you think?” He whispers the last into her ear almost intimately but his message comes through loud and clear. Rebecca is no longer struggling
against the officers and we watch as they leave the room.
Ian then turns to me, pleading with his eyes for me to understand. But I can’t understand what I don’t know so I say the only thing I can in that moment. “Take me home, Ian.”
The ride back to the estate is full of pregnant silence, neither of us wanting to speak before the other and so it continues once we arrive home. We undress in silence and climb into bed. There is so much I want to say, to know but at the same time I want to stay in the dark. I want to go back to the place where I knew he only went to work that evening. He did not go to meet her. My anger and curiosity overcome me and the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.
“What the fuck do you mean meeting with her Thanksgiving evening? After we spent the whole day as a family you run off to that bitch the first chance you get. Tell me
Ian, will it always be like this? You stringing the both of us along.” I know my words hit home by the grimace on his face. I also know that I spoke completely out of anger, as half of what I said is obviously not true after what he said to her. But I can’t stop the words or the seething hate they bring with them. Not hate for him but for the whole situation.
“Lauren, calm down. You know it wasn’t like that.”
“The only thing I know is that you lied to me about her, again. I thought we were done with this. Why? I just don’t understand why after everything you would see her at all.”
“Sweetheart, let me explain. It’s not how she made it seem. I was at the office and of course no one else was there with it being a holiday and so late. I didn’t even take Connor with
me since it was a holiday and he was with his family. I only intended to go in to get caught up on some work I was behind on and I knew you would be fine with Gavin. I didn’t know she was going to show up. I swear. Somehow she still had a key to the elevator. She said, well it was more of the same from tonight. She’s not stable she needs help. I told her I would help her. I’m sorry; I didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t used to be like this. It’s like something inside has snapped. I don’t even recognize the woman I used to know in her anymore.” I understand his words more than he knows. It was the same way for Dean. One day he was a seemingly sweet and a good guy and the next he was a sadist of the worst kind, living only to inflict pain and receive pleasure from it. I can’t fault Ian for wanting to help her but clearly she is beyond any help.
“You still should have told me right when you got home.”
“I couldn’t tell you. You were so happy; it had been so long since I had seen you like that. Carefree. You and Gav had such a good night with your wine and your chick flick. I didn’t want to spoil it. I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I was going to tell you but then there was never time and honestly after we came here I forgot all about it. She is not important to me; you are what’s important. You must see that, sweetheart.”
“Ian, I’m trying to understand here. But this is Rebecca. I thought we decided a long time ago that there was no room for her in our lives.”
“We did. But when I saw her that night, so broken, so clearly teetering on the edge of something, something dark, I couldn’t help but reach out to her. She was a decent woman once. The right woman for me? No, never, but this isn’t her.”
“She’s obsessed with you and obsession turns sane people toward insanity. The only help she needs now is a psychiatrist and a good treatment facility but those are not things you can force on her. That will only feed her delusion that you still want her. Maybe the court can order her to get help because we are going to the police with this when we get home and getting a restraining order. I’m done dealing with crazy people in my life.”
His voice turns quiet and soft. “I thought you were going to leave me. When I looked at you after what she said tonight, I really thought that was it and saw our whole happy ending go up in smoke. You have no idea what that did to me. I can’t lose you. Plain and simple.”
“I’m not going anywhere. No more running. But I will say that if you can’t cut her completely from your life right now
, I won’t be with you. That’s not running; that’s doing what is best for me.”
“Sweetheart, I think I made it pretty clear tonight that I don’t ever want to see her under any circumstances ever again. And hopefully she got the message. It’s hard to tell anymore what’s sinking in with her and what’s not. But I don’t want to focus on her anymore tonight. I just want to be here with you.”
“Thank you, Ian. I just want to be with you too.”
And f
or the rest of the night, that’s how it is. Ian and I together; showing each other in every way imaginable just how much each of us means to the other.
Coming back to
New York was a bit more difficult that I anticipated but wonderful nonetheless. The hardest part was knowing that reality would soon be back in full swing. While we were in England of course work still had to get done but there were far fewer distractions than there are here. And to top it off for the last few weeks I just haven’t been feeling like myself.
Ian had to leave for a quick trip
to Florida; thankfully he’s only gone 3 days but he insisted I stay home because I wasn’t feeling well. For once I actually agreed with him though I hated to miss another trip.
My security team headed by Parker has been ever
vigilant but there’s been no news on Dean or Rebecca. The quiet and calm are something that I’m definitely getting used to. Ian and I have been through enough; it’s time our lives settled down some so we can start thinking about our future together and planning the wedding.
While Ian is gone
, I decide to schedule a doctor’s appointment because I just can’t shake this crud and it’s been going for too long. Ian was resistant about me going out without security at first but I assured him it would be fine. After all the doctor’s office is only a few blocks from our office and he is supposed to be home tonight so there is really nothing to worry about. We compromise and have security walk me to the appointment and then I will check in with them when I return to the office.
Thankfully the doctor isn’t
very busy when I arrive and they are able to get me in right away. There is the standard height and weight to do and of course pee in a cup, always so elegant. Then some more vitals are taken and it’s time to wait for the doctor. She breezes through the door a few minutes later asking me about my trip to England and if we have plans to return. There are congratulations on the engagement, which she saw in some paper and then it’s down to business.
“So you’ve not been feeling well for the last few weeks.
Nausea, vomiting?”
“No vomiting, some nausea. Just not feeling like myself. A couple of times I thought I was about to start my period; I was a little moody
, lots of breast tenderness but then nothing happened.”
“Are you taking anything?”
“I’m on birth control but other than that no and nothing has changed. At first I thought it could be from all the traveling but it just won’t go away.”
“Well let’s take a look at these labs and then we may need to draw some blood for a more thorough work up.” She punches a few buttons on the computer and her face breaks out into a huge smile.
“Well, I can see you exact problem right here and I know just how to treat it.” I sigh with relief that this is something easy; I was convinced that there was something really wrong when she started talking about blood tests.
“Yes
, your problem will go away in about 8 months no worries.” 8 months, holy shit.
“Can’t you give me something? I really have to wait it out for the next 8
months?”
“Lauren, I don’t think you’re understanding my doctor humor here. Sweetie, you’re pregnant.” It takes several minutes for her words to sink in.
“Pregnant? Are you sure?”
“T
hese things are pretty accurate. Judging by your symptoms I would say a little over a month maybe a bit less. Have you missed your period?”
“I’m on the pill. I don’t… Ugh!!! When we were getting ready to leave England I had just finished a pill pack. I usually just start the next one immediately to avoid having one but I didn’t have any way to fill the script over there so I just threw the pack away and decided to fill it when we got back.
I knew I miscounted the off days but filled it as soon as I remembered and tried to play catch up.”
“You’re body and
the baby had other plans. I hope this is good news?”
“Oh yes
, of course. Ian will be absolutely thrilled.” And he would no doubt about it. But this was not how I had planned for things to go. This was not the order I saw for my life. We aren’t even married yet.
“But what about you? Are you thrilled?”
“I’m sorry, this is all just such a shock for me. We’ve only just gotten engaged and now we’re going to have a baby. It’s a bit much to wrap my head around.”
“Completely understandable. But take this time and enjoy it. You deserve it.”
Trying to comprehend everything I just learned, I get some prenatal samples, a prescription from the doctor and set up the next appointment with an ultrasound to find out just how far along I am. Instead of going straight back to the office, I decide a walk may help me to clear my head and give me a little time away from everything to think about the fact that I am pregnant, that Ian and I are going to have a baby, that we are going to be parents.
The ringing of my cell phone pulls me from my reflective walk around Manhattan. Anxious to stop the noise I answer it without looking to see who’s calling.
“Hello?”
“Lauren, baby, so good to hear your sweet voice again.” His voice drips with sticky sweetness.
“You know you aren’t supposed to contact me. But since you don’t appear to care about staying out of jail, you can at least tell me what the hell you want this time.”
“Oh baby
, you know what I want.” His voice is maniacal and I can picture his face at that moment; evil, crooked smile, bright eyes just beginning to cloud over and turn black as the devil within takes over, trying to overpower me even through the phone.
“No, I’m afraid I don’t. You’re going to have to enlighten me, Dean.”
“Oh believe me, I have every intention of ‘enlightening’ you, Lauren. This has gone on too long and I’m tired of playing your game. It’s time this ends; time for you to come home. No more arguments.”
My mind races with my new secret. A secret not even Dean knows. He may have held all the cards in the past but this new card, a trump card, is mine alone. My secret will once again set me free because Dean is right this needs to end, needs to end now.
“You’re right.” I hear his shocked gasp at my words.
“Aw
baby, I knew you could be reasonable. Now it’s time to stop all this nonsense with the police so we can go home.” So he thinks I’ll just play along and go quietly. Well no need to show all my cards so soon.
“We should probably talk before making any decisions. New York has been my home for over 5 years now and I’m not sure I’m ready to leave.”
“I’m not living in the same city as the toy you’ve been shacking up for the last couple of years. Lauren, that’s not going to happen. So just put that thought out of your pretty little head and maybe I’ll let you keep it. You can’t think that you can come back after all this time and there won’t be consequences for your actions. You’ve been very bad and I intend to punish you accordingly.”
Summoning all my strength not to throw the phone and run, I reply.
“Dean, we need to meet and talk. I agree that this has to end and if this is the only way to end it then so be it.”
He rattles off his hotel address and room number
. I hang up agreeing to meet him there in an hour. This is just enough time to run to the apartment and get what I need before meeting him. Unfortunately for Dean, he still thinks I’m the same scared girl that ran from him 5 years ago. She definitely still lives in me but I draw on her for my strength. The old Lauren watched as two people who should have loved her and protected her took away the one person that did love and protect her. Then those people tried to break her. From the pieces they left behind, she became Celeste and has now once again come back to herself and is Lauren. This fight is about to end one way or another but make no mistake I am done running and hiding. Life is far too precious to spend it in fear and Dean has robbed me of so much time already. My resolve is hardened to what I must do. It’s not only just Ian and I that I protect any longer.
I arrive at Dean’s hotel with a few minutes to spare and make my way up to room 465. I tentatively knock, hoping that maybe he won’t be there. The door swings open mere seconds later. His grip on
my wrists is firm as he pulls me into the room. I take the moment to calm my nerves unwilling to let the fear simmering beneath the surface take control. I remind myself, as if I need to, of all that I am fighting for, fighting to protect and meet his gaze head on. He must see something different in my eyes as his momentarily falter and his grip on me loosens. I use the time pull myself free of his grasp and look around the room.
Seeing a small table and chairs across from the bed I make my way over and sit down. He follows me over and sits opposite me. Oh how the mighty have fallen! I reflect as I look around the room. Just a standard room in a
mundane hotel but not one Dean would have been caught dead in just a few months ago. Penthouses and suites were the main stream for him. But with no job, a fugitive on the run he has nothing now. I feel our playing field even, because while I have these things, being around him makes me feel as if I have nothing, am nothing.
“Would you like something to drink?” The casualness of his tone gives me hope that maybe this meeting
will not have to end the way I saw it previously. I mentally kick myself for allowing his charms to make me doubt what needs to be done. There is only one end to this for me and for him. One of us will not be leaving this room, which one remains to be seen.
I grip my purse a little more tightly feeling the outline of the gun it contains. Briefly I wonder if I should just pull it out now and end all of this without the preemptive conversation. The fool in me continues to hope for a peaceful resolution and the gun remains firmly tucked away.
“Lauren, I asked if you would like a drink? You know I have limited patience. Don’t push them right now when we are just working things out.”
“Do you have any sparkling water?” I refuse to be baited by his comments and respond blandly.
He turns to the small refrigerator and comes back with a bottle of water for me. I open it and gulp down several drinks like a man in the desert dying of thirst who has just been presented with the one and only drink he will receive before his death.
“I must admit I thought it would be more difficult to get you here. I didn’t expect to call you up and have you come running. Trouble in paradise? Jacobs not living up to his end of the deal? Or perhaps his playboy reputation is just too much for you to deal with? You never were good at sharing.” His words always did sting more than his fists. And he wields them expertly striking in all the places where they can hurt me. But there is one thing he doesn’t
know one secret that I alone hold. My secret is so powerful it renders all that he says useless against me.
“It’s time for this all to stop as I said on the phone. That is why I am here no other reason. Ian doesn’t know anything
about this meeting. And that’s how I would prefer to keep it.”
“Clever little thing aren’t you? First playing me and now him. I see you even managed to get a ring out of the bastard.” His gaze drifts to my engagement ring. Try as I might I cannot stop the tears that well up at the thought that there may be no wedding after all. No happily ever after for Ian and I and once again I am the cause of it. I hope that Ian will understand when this is all said and done, whatever the outcome, that I did this for us and our baby.
Reflexively at the thought of the life growing inside me, I reach down and cover my belly. Dean is as observant as ever. His gasp fills the small room.
“You bitch. I should have known you would do something like this. Little slut, go and get yourself knocked up.”
A door behind me opens and suddenly there are hands on both of my arms holding me down in the chair.
“I told you she was nothing but a gold digging slut. Now she will have all our fortunes and Ian linked to her for life.” Rebecca’s voice is thick with hate; her nails dig into my flesh and I’m sure the
y will draw blood. This wasn’t something I anticipated, Dean and Rebecca working together. I should have put the pieces together from everything she said in London but it’s too late now. I have to find a way out of this situation.
“Leave it alone
, Rebecca. I told you to stay out of this. This is between Lauren and I. I’m not even sure why you’re still here. I told you I was finished with you and I am. It was your job to bring her back to me and that’s done now.”
“Yes but this isn’t how it’
s supposed to work out. Ian was supposed to love me again, come back to me. Not knock up this stupid bitch. We should just kill her now. She’s of no use to either of us now. You can’t want her when she carries another man’s child and she has destroyed my happiness. Dean, it’s time to destroy her.”
“You may be right but I’ll
be the judge of Lauren’s fate, not you. Now let go and move away from her.” He rises from his chair as he stares down Rebecca. My eyes never leave his frame waiting for an opening, a chance to run. Rebecca’s grip loosens enough at Dean’s approach that I am able to turn and stand. I grab for my bag but she anticipates my movements and knocks my hand back down.
“Calling for help won’t save you now
, bitch. You have stolen too much from me and you will pay for you have taken.” Her whispered words send chills down my spine.