Into the Light (The Admiral's Elite Book 2) (11 page)

“What?” Her eyes flew to his. “You kept something from him? I thought you couldn’t?”

Everything in the room stopped for Michael. “Why would you say that?” His eyes darkened, tightening at the corners. “What do you know about that?” The vampire was creeping up his spine, listening.

Becca’s chest rose and fell in rapid succession. Her eyes were wild. “The power he has over you. I felt it. When I was in your head I couldn’t hear your thoughts or anything, but I could feel it when you tried to argue with him. It hurt.” A shaking hand went to her temple. “Your head got tight and your guts twisted up. Like how it feels when I’m getting a warning that we’re in danger, like you’re going to be sick.”

Furious to have his weakness exposed, Michael temporarily lost himself. He forgot himself and he forgot his guilt. The vampire already perched on his back launched itself into the forefront and he felt his control falter. He tasted blood as his fangs tore their way through his gums and his eyes went black. The room fell away and there was only her as his eyes zeroed in. “No one knows that,” he whispered darkly. “It’s too dangerous for Black
and
for me. And now
you
know. A witch with a vampire’s blood driving her mad.” His words hung in the air.

“A witch?” There couldn’t have been any blood in her face. Her lips were turning a dusky hue. “I’m a witch and now you’re going to what, kill me because I know a secret I haven’t told a soul for months?” Her eyes were completely glassy, not even focusing on him anymore. “Even you?”

That she thought him capable of killing her and was nearly blind as she faced him, gave him the strength to wrestle the vampire back.
I love her.
He reminded it.

Hissing, it dug its claws in and refused to budge.
She knows.
It clung to its position stubbornly. Self-preservation was its only concern.

His hand went to his forehead and he bit his bottom lip. Warm blood dripped down his chin.

Becca, temporarily focused, went green. “Michael, please. I know you will never hurt me. Do you remember when I told you I knew that? I still believe it. The good in you is stronger than anything else. Even Black’s hold on you.” She bravely put it right there in front of him again. “He can’t make you hurt me and I know that.”

Needing to touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin as she spoke of her undying faith he snatched at her arms, pulling her to her knees on the mattress. She swayed but held her ground, eyes trying to roll back into her head as her consciousness struggled to fall away. “How do you know that I’m stronger than the beast inside me?” he ground out between clenched teeth. “How can you be sure I won’t lose control of it or that Black won’t order me to kill you? What if I can’t say no?” The strain was impossible to keep out of his voice.

Her body went rigid under his hands and she stopped wavering. For a few seconds she controlled herself enough to look him steadily in the eye. “Because I love you and I know you love me too. And that’s stronger than anything that asshole can try to put between us.”

The vampire stopped, as did the man. “Love?” A poleax would have been less effective than her declaration. His hands fell to his sides.

One of her knees buckled and she fell forward, Michael catching her against his chest. “I love you Michael. I have since the beginning, even if it took a little while for me to figure it out.” Her eyes closed. Her breathing was ragged; his hands on, then off, were stressing her system even more than the conversation.

“What about Black? What he can make me do?” He gave voice to his greatest fear in front of her since they were laying it all on the line. “How can you not think I’m a coward when I have no power against him?”

Her hand touched his chest, resting where his heart used to beat. “You are the bravest soul I’ve ever known,” she whispered hoarsely. “As much as you know what he’s going to do to you for disagreeing, what he was going to do to you for saving me, you still did it.” She knew Black’s punishment methods. She’d borne witness to them firsthand when Michael had suffered because he’d disobeyed that first night after Black’s effort to bind her had nearly killed her. He hadn’t realized she knew the cause of that night’s penance. The revelation shocked him almost as much as her own bravery that same night when she’d told Black to stop. “You’re a good man, Michael. You’re stronger than the beast. Both of them.”

And with that he felt her go limp in his arms as the strain proved too much for her weakening human body. Her body touching his was already bringing her heart rate down and soon she was breathing evenly. Gently, he cradled her against his chest and laid her back in the bed where he held her, clinging to her nearly as tight as the glimmer of hope she’d lit within him. She believed in him and he wanted to prove her faith wasn’t false. To hell with what Black had done to him. Becca was his real tether and one that he would hold onto with both hands. For her, he would be his own man again, or die trying.

Chapter 11

Becca wasn’t alone when she opened her eyes in the room just starting to glow with dawn’s first rays. Nor was she damaged in any way. As a matter of fact, she felt good. For the first time in a long time she felt rested. Not entirely back to herself, but better than she had been in weeks. She shifted to stretch and was stopped by a hand wrapped around her middle.

“Good morning.” Michael tugged her back against him so that their bodies were pressed together along her entire length.

“Mmm.” She stretched her legs then scooted back into position. “Good morning.”

“How are you feeling?” He sounded uncertain. “Last night was,” he paused, “cathartic.”

Happy fluttering tickled her belly. “I take it that’s a good thing?” She ran a hand up and down his forearm.

“I had an idea last night after you fell asleep.”

She made a noise. “Fainted, again, you mean.”

“Whatever you want to call it, after you were out and I touched you your vitals settled.”

Her cheeks were hot. “You have that effect on me.” Licking her dry lips, she went on. “Sometimes just being around you does it.”

Michael took a moment to respond. “I’d noticed it before but it didn’t come to me until last night after we’d talked everything out.” He paused, shifting beside her. “That was when I realized we might have the answer for your condition.”

Condition? He was being so clinical. Had he not heard her when she’d told him she loved him? Realization hit, nearly taking her breath with it. He didn’t feel the same. Becca went quiet, waiting.

“If your senses are having trouble handling overstimulation then we can reduce the stimulation and its effects until the blood’s effects start to fade. It’ll take a while because of what you are, but they will fade.” He actually sounded embarrassed. “With trying to maintain a professional distance and sleeping separately when we were at the estate we were underutilizing our best resource to combat your weakness,” he said, touching her shoulder and slipping his hand down it, “our own bodies.”

“Dialysis through the skin, huh?” His logical approach and cool manner cut her to her very center. While it made perfect sense, it did nothing for the fact that her heart was under his heel. She swallowed her disappointment. “That’s pretty drastic.”

“Drastic situations call for drastic measures.” He let his head fall back behind hers, making it clear he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. They lay like that for a while, neither one speaking until Becca had to get up to use the bathroom. When she poked her head back out, he looked expectant and she frowned.

“I think I should take a shower and change.” She smoothed the massively rumpled shirt she’d slept in. “We have lots to do today.” That and she wanted to be alone. She’d told him she loved him for the first time, and a second, and he’d said nothing. No, that wasn’t true. He’d told her she was a witch and she would be reliant upon him to keep her from running down until she could finally manage her own condition.

In the light of day it all seemed ridiculous and she could feel the hulking thing creeping into the room with her, the polka-dotted elephant neither one was apparently going to talk about. He wasn’t being distant; quite the opposite, but that didn’t matter considering he’d explained how he understood she needed him. Physically. That and he might be acting kind out of pity for the girl who’d fallen for her commanding officer, the thing she’d sworn she wouldn’t do when she’d first caught herself stepping out over that particular abyss. Nothing was said on the subject. He lay watching her, a glint in his eye she knew far too well. Part of her, an insistent part, yearned to satisfy itself with him. The rational part of her brain told the horny part to cool it. No one was going for more sex if that was all this was to him. That had been enough for her in the past, but not anymore. Not with him. After love was on the table, unless he returned it she wouldn’t take his scraps. No, sex wasn’t enough anymore.

Instead of going to the bed where he lounged, tempting in a white tee and jeans, she went to her suitcase sitting open on the dark blue berber carpet. She’d hung her nicer things but the underclothes were all in there. There was something gross about putting her underwear in a drawer where other people put who knew what. Clothes picked out, Becca had an oddly self-conscious moment and carried them bundled against her chest into the bathroom. Once inside, she closed the door and sat down on the toilet lid, face sunk in her clothes. Had she been presumptuous in thinking he might love her? Maybe she’d been wrong. That she could have mistaken the motivation behind the lengths he’d gone to in order to save her didn’t seem right. Of course he loved her. Didn’t he? She didn’t think she could be so wrong. Maybe he wasn’t the type to tell her, his actions had spoken loud enough in the past that should be enough, she consoled herself. And yet it didn’t help. She’d always thought the first time she told someone she loved him, he would say it back.

Clean, dressed, and presentable Becca came out to find she was alone. It wasn’t unusual for any one of them to have to take care of something. The timing was suspect, but that he was gone wasn’t. Not at first. Often, Michael had to call Black for updates. That froze her feet where they were. Would he tell Black? No, she tried to brush it away as paranoia. He wouldn’t tell Black anything that would give him more of a hold over her, or him. That was why he hadn’t wanted to know how the jumping thing worked.

But he knew that now, didn’t he? She’d told him what she felt in his body when she jumped. Maybe he was off telling Black right now. He’d love
that,
she thought bitterly. Making the best of her time, she went in and threw her hair up in a perfunctory ponytail. When she’d finished with some light makeup and he still wasn’t back, Becca went next door and knocked.

“Hey sexy.” Ryan ran a hand through his sleep tousled hair and grinned at her.

“It isn’t too early, is it?” She worried she’d woken him and glanced back over her shoulder to see that the sun was indeed fully up over the one level restaurant across the street though it hadn’t cleared the treetops next to it. She turned back. “Were you out all night?”

He yawned, flashing mildly pronounced canines and scratched his chest through his white undershirt. “No, not really. Where’s Mike?” His eyes searched beyond her.

Unable to stop herself she winced, then shrugged and averted her eyes. It wouldn’t help matters to have him making fun of her for letting her heart get involved where it was never meant to be.

Ryan regarded her quietly and stepped back. “Come on in. I was about to get dressed and head over to the restaurant for breakfast. Have you eaten?”

She shook her head and he waved her in. Taking in the chaotic swirl of blankets Becca knew that she had, in fact, woken the poor man. She cast him a disapproving glare for lying, which he caught and sent right back, squinting at her until she cracked a smile.

His green eyes lit with some of their usual spark and he gave her a lopsided grin. “I’ll just be a minute.” He dashed around the room in a random pattern until he held a pair of jeans and clean underwear. Making a quick diversion into the bathroom where Becca heard the sounds of rustling fabrics, Ryan popped out in jeans with nothing else covering the rest of him.

It was impossible not to admire what he had going on. Tight, tan, and bigger than most men, Becca had a passing urge to hang off one of his huge arms. So much skin exposed got her body thinking things her mind wouldn’t allow.