Iris Johansen (20 page)

He put his hand swiftly on her lips. “No, don’t say anything,” he said quietly. “I know you don’t feel the same way. I just made myself a promise that if I found you still alive I’d tell you how I felt.” He settled her back in his arms, her turbaned head resting in the curve of his shoulder. “Now, go to sleep,” he ordered softly. “You’ve had quite a night, Pocahontas.”

Just like that he expected her to close her eyes and drift off into the arms of Morpheus, Janna thought wonderingly. Just as if he hadn’t given her this incredibly selfless gift in those few simple sentences. He had sacrificed his ego and pride with a generosity that caused her throat to ache with tears. She was suddenly fiercely proud and ambivalently humble, and she was experiencing such a glowing burst of emotion it made her dizzy.

Then she was struggling out of the cocoon of toweling he’d wrapped about her. As she struggled out of the last folds, her arms went around him and she pressed the length of her body to the hardness of his. “I don’t want to go to sleep,” she said huskily. Her lips brushed lovingly against the hard bone of his shoulders. “Love me, Rafe.”

He stiffened against her, then slowly pushed her away from him a little to look down at her sternly. “Look, I didn’t make that little confession to play on your sympathies,” he said. “Nor do I intend to wrest any sexual favors from you, after what you’ve been through tonight.”

Her hand traveled in a slow, caressing movement from the hollow of his back to the hard, tight curve
of his buttocks. “Would it be okay if I wrest a few from you, then?” she asked mischievously, pinching him gently.

He drew a shuddering breath, and she could feel his body hardening against her in arousal. His arms tightened slowly about her even as he said huskily, “We shouldn’t do this. I meant to let you rest tonight. I wanted to take care of you.”

“You’ve taken very good care of me,” she assured him softly, her tongue tasting the delicious warmth of the skin of his throat. “Now let me take care of you.” One leg moved to capture him in the warm security of her thighs, and he gave a low groan that came from the center of his being. His hips jerked against her compulsively, as if searching blindly for their home.

“Janna,” he gasped, his face taut with need.

“Love me, Rafe,” she murmured again, this time more insistently. “Love me.” Then she brought him into the sweet warmth that was the end of his quest.

Janna could tell even in the wildest moments of their passion that Rafe was trying to restrain himself, to give her the gentleness and tenderness he thought she needed. She wouldn’t permit it. He had given her too much tonight already. It was her turn to be the benefactor. She’d been through so much tonight, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sustain any physical effort for very long, but it must be long enough for her to give Rafe this gift of pleasure. To do it, though, she must overcome Rafe’s scruples about assuring himself of her satisfaction. She set about deliberately teasing him, until he lost control and began to plunge with mindless urgency, intent only on satisfying the hunger she’d aroused in him. When he collapsed against her with a deep groan that caused a shudder to wrack his entire body, she felt a deep, glowing satisfaction she’d never known before. Her arms clutched him fiercely to her, not wanting to let him go.

Rafe raised himself to look down at her uncertainly. “Janna, you didn’t …?”

She shook her head, her brown eyes glowing with tenderness. “It doesn’t matter,” she said softly. “Later, perhaps. I just want to hold you now.”

He lay down beside her, cuddling her close. She could feel that precious dampness of his lashes against her temple. “God, I wish you hadn’t done that,” he said huskily. “I was psyching myself up to letting you go. I just might have made it.” His lips brushed gently against her cheekbone. “It’s too late now, Janna. I couldn’t let you go now if I tried. It would destroy me.”

Janna was almost asleep. The rigors of the evening combined with the warm contentment of this lovely moment had acted as a soporific. She heard Rafe’s words only dimly, but there was something she knew she must say to him. She frowned in drowsy puzzlement, trying to pierce the misty cloud closing in on her. Then she realized she hadn’t told Rafe that she loved him. That she never wanted to leave him no matter what price she’d have to pay.

“Rafe …”

“Shhh,” he interrupted softly. “Go to sleep, baby. You’re exhausted.”

He was right, she thought sleepily. She couldn’t keep her eyes open another moment. They could always talk in the morning. She would tell him tomorrow that she loved him.

But Rafe was gone when next Janna opened her eyes. She knew why when she glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was almost one o’clock. She shook her head ruefully as she threw back the covers and jumped out of bed. During the night her improvised turban had slipped off, and her hair was a wild aureole about her face.

She grimaced as she looked into the mirror, picked up the brush and applied herself vigorously to brushing the wild mop until it shimmered with highlights, then braided it in her customary style. Twenty minutes later she had showered, dressed in white stovepipe jeans and a peach cowl-neck sweater and was running lightly down the stairs in search of Rafe.

Pat Dawson was crossing the foyer, heading in the direction of the library, and he glanced up with an appreciative grin. “Very nice,” he drawled, his eyes twinkling. “But then, you should look absolutely glowing after lolling in bed half the day. It’s we peasants who toil from sunrise to sunset who have that lean, haggard look.”

“Yes, the lot of executive assistants is a woeful one,” Janna agreed lightly. “Is Rafe around?”

Dawson gestured to the closed library door with the manilla folder he held in his hand. “He’s on the phone to Tokyo at the moment. There’s been some labor dispute in the electronics plant there. Shall I ask him if he can see you?”

Janna shrugged. “It’s not important,” she said cheerfully. “I’ll talk to him later. I think I’ll go up to the gazebo for an hour or two. I’ll see if I can’t persuade Stokley to purloin some bread and cheese from the chef.” She made a face. “The last time I asked him for a picnic lunch he sent me out a meal that could have fed an army.”

“He probably considers your spartan instincts an insult to his expertise,” Pat said with a grin. “You’ve rather set Santine’s household in a turmoil, Janna.” His lips quirked ruefully. “Which reminds me, you’re not planning on disappearing, as you did yesterday afternoon, are you? I don’t think I’m up to facing another one of Mr. Santine’s furies quite so soon.”

“I’ll be back long before he even knows I’m gone,” she promised lightly. “Particularly if he’s as busy as you say he is.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Pat said dryly, and he turned back toward the library. “This blasted strike is going to annoy him quite enough, without anything else’s stirring him up.”

“Has the countess left for San Francisco yet?” Janna asked idly as she watched him stride briskly across the foyer.

Dawson nodded. “Early this morning,” he replied over his shoulder. “And not at all pleased, from the look of her.”

Janna grinned happily. “How unfortunate,” she murmured. As Pat disappeared into the library, she almost skipped across the foyer toward the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later she was sitting in the gazebo munching on deliciously crisp French bread and provolone and gazing out over the seascape with a feeling of infinite well-being. It was difficult to believe that anything could go wrong in a world so beautiful. The sun on her face was warm and gentle, the breeze a soft caress, and her spirit as buoyant as the surf below her.

Why did everything seem so simple now? For weeks
she’d been perfectly miserable, torn between her growing love for Rafe and a fear that that love would chain her to a life as rigidly controlled as the one her grandmother had known. She’d fought against that velvet cage with a desperation that now seemed exaggerated and unimportant.

A granite-hard man had let one tear fall and muttered a few awkward, almost inarticulate words, and it had melted all opposition in the twinkling of an eye. Why had she been afraid? She was strong enough to face any challenge Rafe could offer her. Why shouldn’t she take this gift that fate had given her? What had happened between them was so powerful, it had swept them from their separate chosen paths into this passionate union. There must be a reason and a purpose behind it, as there was for all the forces of nature, and she must accept it with her usual serenity.

She slowly finished her lunch and then reluctantly rose to her feet. She was tempted to stay a little longer, particularly as there was no telling how long Rafe would be tied up with Tokyo. But she’d promised Pat, and if by chance Rafe was free, he might want to see her as much as she did him. When she entered the house, it was to be met by Fred Stokley, a worried frown on his usually impassive face. Her sense of contentment vanished immediately, to be replaced by icy foreboding.

“There you are, Miss Cannon,” he said, relief obvious in his voice. “I was just coming to get you. Mr. Dawson said you were at the gazebo when I inquired. You had an urgent phone call from a Mr. Jody Forrester. He asked that you return his call immediately, but when I was trying to locate you and told Mr. Santine, he said you were to come to the library at once.”

Jody. Janna felt a chill sweep over her and an accompanying sensation of fear tighten the muscles of her stomach. “Oh, no,” she breathed faintly. “Not
now.” There could only be one reason for an urgent call from Jody. That sense of something wrong in Jody’s manner yesterday, and now this. “I’ll call him right away,” she murmured, brushing by Stokley hurriedly on the way to the phone in the foyer.

He followed her. “But Mr. Santine was quite insistent that you see him first before you returned Mr. Forrester’s call,” he protested, frowning, as she rapidly pushed the buttons on the phone.

“I can’t speak to him now,” she said impatiently, listening to the phone ringing on the other end in an agony of suspense. Why didn’t he answer, damn it? “I’ll see him later.”

Stokley started to say something else, then shrugged and silently withdrew. Janna didn’t even realize he’d left, for the phone was suddenly picked up.

“Jody?” Her voice was husky, and she could barely get the word out.

“It’s over, Janna,” Jody said gently.

Janna sagged against the mahogany table and closed her eyes as desolation swept over her. She had known the message Jody would give her, but she’d maintained that tiny fugitive hope. “When?”

“Yesterday afternoon, almost immediately after you called,” he said quietly. “She’d been failing for the past week. She didn’t want you to know.”

“Yesterday,” Janna said numbly. “Why didn’t you call me then, Jody?”

“It was your grandmother’s last request,” Jody said, his voice husky. “She didn’t want you to know until it was all over. She was cremated last night. She said you’d know what to do with the remains.”

The hill. “Yes, I know,” Janna said softly. “I’ll take the first flight out, Jody. Will you meet me at the airport?”

“Of course,” he said gruffly, clearing his throat. “Call me when you know what flight you’ll be on.”

“Thank you, Jody,” she said gently. “Thank you for everything. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

“She was a great lady, Janna,” Jody said gravely. “It was a privilege to know her. She’s the one who deserves the gratitude. There aren’t many people in the world who can expand your horizons just by simply being themselves. She gave me more than I gave her.”

“She gave us all more,” Janna said, blinking back the tears. “I’ll see you in Sweetwater, Jody.”

She replaced the receiver and slowly moved toward the staircase. From the corner of her eye she saw Stokley hovering worriedly in the arch of the lounge, but he didn’t speak until she was halfway up the stairs. “Is everything all right, Miss Cannon?” he asked hesitantly. “Is there anything that I can do?”

“I’ll need someone to drive me to the airport,” Janna said quietly. “I’m leaving for Oklahoma at once. Will you take care of that for me, Stokley?”

“Of course, Miss Cannon,” he said. “I’ll attend to it right away. May I send someone up to help you with your packing?”

Janna shook her head. “I’ll only be taking a few things,” she answered. “I can take care of it myself. I’ll be down within fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll have the car waiting for you, Miss Cannon,” Stokley said briskly.

It took only a short time to pack her overnight case and call to make plane reservations. Janna snatched up a rust tweed jacket and hurried out of the bedroom, checking her watch as she did so. She had only a few minutes to speak to Rafe if she was to get to the airport in time to catch the commuter plane to Los Angeles.

She needn’t have worried, for Rafe was standing waiting at the foot of the staircase, and she breathed a sigh of relief. “I was afraid you’d still be on the line to Tokyo,” she said. “I have to talk to you, Rafe.”

“I’m glad you were going to spare me a minute to say goodbye,” Rafe said caustically, gripping her elbow and propelling her toward the library.

She’d been in such a bemused state that she hadn’t noticed the fury darkening his face and the almost visible electric tension that was surrounding him. “Of course I was going to speak to you,” Janna answered, frowning in bewilderment. “I wouldn’t have just left without saying anything. That wouldn’t be courteous.”

He slammed the door behind them and whirled her around to face him, his expression strained. “And you wouldn’t want to be guilty of a social
faux pas
, would you?” he asked with biting irony. “It wouldn’t be polite to go to a new lover without saying a fond farewell to the old.” Her stunned expression seemed to add fuel to his rage, for he gave her a hard shake. “Though your old college sweetheart can’t be classified precisely as a new acquisition, can he?”

“Jody?” Janna asked, her eyes wide with shock and pain. She’d forgotten completely about Rafe’s jealous display over Jody. Everything that had happened since had driven it completely from her mind. “You don’t understand, Rafe. I’m not going home to renew a love affair, I have—”