Iron & Bone (Lock & Key #3) (10 page)

I was throwing myself at a taken man. I used to complain about women like me.

Ugh.

I wanted to melt through the floor. “I’m sorry.” I wiped my hands over my hot face.

He stood up straight and stepped back, putting distance between us.

“Jesus, you have nothing to be sorry about.” He took in a deep breath, his hands on his hips. “Get dressed. Buy whatever the hell you need to buy, and do it fast ’cause I need a cigarette.” He scooped up my old bra from the floor and handed it to me. “You need money?”

A chill raced over my skin. I grabbed the bra and put it back on without letting go of his gaze or turning around. His face tightened into thin angles at the sight.

“No, I have money.”

He charged out of the dressing room, and I threw on my shirt.

At the display, I quickly snatched up two bras a size larger than the one I had tried on and a couple of colorful panties. I raced toward the cashier where, luckily, there was no line. Boner waited for me by the exit, and we left the store.

I released a breath, my fingers twisting around the handles of my shopping bags. Underwear shopping would never again be the same for me.

Boner slung an arm around my neck and pulled me close, taking the shopping bags from me. “We okay?”

There was that intriguing earthy scent threatening my grip on sanity. There was that protective older brother type of affection again. But this time, that affection was laced with heat that was specific, real, not a fantasy on my part, not a girlish wish.

“Yes, sure. Of course,” I blurted. The warm metallic scent of his leather vest made my stomach curl. I’d had that Bonerworld wrapped around me, been inside it, for a brief moment.

Shouldn’t I be embarrassed by all this?

I’d put his hands on my naked breasts, inviting him to touch me. I’d done that, but he’d stopped it.

My insides tumbled.

No, I wasn’t embarrassed, only disappointed.

Because I want more from him.

That exquisite pleasure had come on like a freight train. I hadn’t felt that sort of intensity in God knows how long, if ever. It was deep, huge, blasting.

That tongue, his mouth—he knew how to use them.

His touch, so simple—gentle one moment, intense the next—was everything.

Maybe it was so very exciting because we had been in a public place, and it had been unexpected
.
Pregnancy hormones had obviously not helped me out there.

Who am I kidding?

I was nuts for him and had been for a long time. Yes, I liked that he cared about me and looked out for me, but I was insanely attracted to him and intrigued by him, too.

I glanced at Boner. He was looking down, his expression almost…sad.

Why?

All of this wouldn’t be figured out over a cig break at the mall, that was for sure. Our friendship was very important to me though, and I needed to make sure I wouldn’t lose my friend.

I pressed my lips together and slid an arm around his waist. “We’re good.”

His face relaxed, and he planted a kiss on the top of my head. We strolled in the direction of the nearest exit, his one arm hanging off my shoulder.

He smoked in silence on the edge of a bench by a sand-filled canister while I sat on the bench opposite of him and chewed on a piece of gum. Boner scanned the parking lot as he exhaled a long stream of smoke. I squeezed my thighs together, grinding on my gum, but it did no good. The ache in my chest and the throb between my legs remained.

I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Boner was extremely private. I suspected only Grace had his complete trust, judging by the easy way they were together—the knowing looks they shared and the natural physical affection they showed each other, like a simple touch on the arm, a squeeze of the hand, a quick kiss on the cheek. It was nice, and I liked that about them, their bond, like a real loving brother and sister who were there for each other.

He had a left-of-center dry sense of humor that I really enjoyed. He was smart. He saw odd twists that others didn’t see or notice. But there was always an underlying thread of severity, a guarded severity that he seemed to reserve just for me. I reminded him of his best friend’s horrible death; there seemed to be no getting past that.

After I had gone through with the surrogacy pregnancy for Grace and gotten pregnant with her and Lock’s baby, Boner had looked at me with new eyes. This wasn’t the wariness and cool suspicion of when I had first arrived from Nebraska. This was something new. Something that resonated in the depths of my soul.

Was it admiration? Respect?

Whatever it was, it sent a ripple of warmth through me every time.

It’s about the baby, what you’re doing for his best friends.

He was attracted to me as well though. The madness in the dressing room had just confirmed that. And it was good madness, electric and fiery good. Slow burn combustion.

I crossed my legs and stretched my back in an effort to release the tension in my chest and my too-tight bra.

No use.

My boobs would never be the same.

Ten minutes later, I chewed on a second stick of gum, and Boner was on another two pieces as we strode back down the mall to meet Nina. At the salon, we found her paying the cashier.

She sauntered over to us, her face beaming. “You like it? I look good, right?” She stroked her long mane, thick waves of golden honey. Her nails were painted a dark berry color with tiny skulls applied on the thumbs and shimmery stars on her fingernails. She had a fresh coat of pink lip gloss coating her lips.

“You look great,” I said, suddenly feeling like the harried housewife. I needed a makeover and quick.

“What’s wrong with you?” Nina made a face, as if she’d spotted a huge spider crawling on me. “Your chest is all blotchy.”

“What?” My hand flew to my chest. “No, um…I’m just hot.”

“In this air-conditioning?” She smoothed her shiny hair over a shoulder. “You should get a haircut, too, you know? I told you to get down here.”

“You done?” Boner asked, his voice clipped.

“I’m set,” she murmured.

In the truck, I sat back in the cab this time and leaned my head against the cool window. Boner shoved the truck into gear, his shoulders taut. I didn’t think I could bear sitting so close to him just now, like I had on the way over with my body charging with nuclear molecules the entire ride. Now, I hummed with the erotic rocket he had launched inside me almost an hour ago, and there was no way to disengage it.

The truck suddenly veered off the road and pulled in at a drive-through fast-food joint.

“We’re getting food now?” asked Nina, fidgeting in her seat.

“Jill should have something to drink. I still have a stop to make before we head home.” Boner glanced at me in the rearview mirror.

My chest tightened at the serious tone in his voice, the flash of his eyes.

“Order me a Diet Coke?” Nina asked as she toyed with an app on her phone.

Boner placed the order for three drinks at the speaker stand.

I leaned my head back against the headrest. I didn’t even have to ask, and I wouldn’t have. I hated asking for people to go out of their way for me. I hated it, and he seemed to know it. He knew. He always knew, and he was so damn thoughtful.

How thoughtful was he with Mindy?

At the service window, he handed over money to the cashier and got our drinks. Our eyes met as he passed me my iced tea, our fingers brushing over the icy cup.

“Thanks,” I murmured.

“Yeah.” He raised his chin at me.

I settled back into my seat and clutched the cold tall cup to my chest and neck, sipping on it. He pulled out onto Route 44.

“So, are you eating everything in sight these days?” Nina asked.

“No, although I’ve been having all sorts of strange cravings lately.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“Yesterday, I saw a Burger King commercial on television, and this life-and-death urge came over me to have a bacon double cheeseburger. I’ve never even eaten one of those before.”

Nina laughed. “Never? You’re kidding! Did you go get one?”

“I grabbed my car keys, but I forced myself to sit on the sofa. I closed my eyes and rocked back and forth as I took deep breaths until it faded. Then, I chugged two glasses of water and chewed on an apple.”

She groaned. “Did it work?”

“Sort of. Luckily, there’s no Burger King near home, so I couldn’t indulge on the fly anyway.”

Boner’s brows furrowed as he glanced at me through his rearview mirror. “You shouldn’t be out on the road in that condition.”

“What condition is that? Hungry?” Nina asked.

“Distracted,” he replied. “Next time you get one of those overwhelming urges, Jill, call me. I’ll bring something over.” He shot me a look. “Whatever you want.”

Whatever I want?

“Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I know you’re busy. Anyway, I get lots of urges.”

Babble, ramble, shut up!

His eyes shot to mine. “I’ll make the time.” He returned his attention to the road.

I don’t think we’re talking about burgers anymore.

“Is there a Wendy’s around here? Wendy’s is my favorite,” said Nina.

Boner’s long fingers rubbed his forehead, swept down his beard, and smoothed over his mouth—the mouth that had brought me to my knees thirty-three minutes ago. My eyelids sank a few degrees, and I leaned my head against the cool window again.

“You guys need to try the…” Nina rattled on about her favorite fast-food burgers as I drained my decaf iced tea.

Boner’s attention stayed pinned to the road, his long hair a dark curtain between us. He punched the radio on with a quick jab of a finger. Bad Company blared over the speakers, slamming aside my hazy thoughts.

Yep, my sky is burning, all right. I’m on fucking fire.

I’D TOUCHED HER
.

Naked-ish Jill. She’d stood there like a spooked baby bird, all alone in its nest. Vulnerable. Totally irresistible. That long strawberry-blonde hair falling in waves around her blushing face. Those cushiony lips parted, those tits. Fuck, those perfect full tits. So damned beautiful. She’d taken my hand in hers, and…time had stopped along with my pulse.

Jill had wanted me to touch her. Like a fucking pinup centerfold just for me. She’d wanted me to do it, and I did, and then I couldn’t stop. Kissing, licking, stroking. Her tits were just the way I’d imagined they’d feel—soft but firm, totally addictive.

I ran a hand across my chest. Her mouth, her skin, her lips, her tongue still had my blood simmering.

After the mall, I’d dropped Jill off at home, Nina at the club, and headed to my house where I cleaned up, downed a beer, and fell back on my bed, trying to get those images of Jill out of my head. I couldn’t let myself go there. Could not. I felt that heaviness in my gut, that clamping in my chest, whenever I was around her.

I know what that is.

I know.

Connection. Need.

My eyelids sank. My breathing deepened as my body gave in to fatigue, but it was a fitful sleep that only brought shrill voices from a lifetime ago, from a broken connection.