Irresistible Lies (15 page)

“I’m
not asking you to rush into anything, sweetheart.” He smiled at her, but it
didn’t make her feel any better. “Let’s just give this a chance.”

“But...”

“Don’t.”
He kissed her softly on the lips, trying to reassure her. “Don’t over-think it.
That’s what messed us up last time.”

“Over
thinking is not what messed us up, Jamie.” She felt her smile turn into a frown
as reality hit her once again. “We were in two different places in our lives.”

“You’re
right. I wasn’t ready then. I was too young to appreciate what I had and to
fight for it. But it’s different now. I’m ready for this.”

He
sounded so serious, but she still wasn’t sure. Maybe he was ready to commit
himself to a relationship with her, but that didn’t mean he was ready to be a
father. What would she do if he left her again? How would she pick up the
pieces?

She
was scared.

“Ready
for what?” Grace finally asked him.

“Us.
You and me.”

She
pressed her lips together.

“What’s
wrong? You don’t want this?”

“It’s
not that, Jamie. It’s just... I’m not sure what you’re saying here. What
exactly do you want from me?”

He
searched her eyes for the right answer. When he didn’t find it there, he
sighed. “All I’m asking for is a real chance. Let me make this right and do
what I should have done the first time. Come with me, work at the brewery, and
be a part of it, like you should have been from the very beginning. Let’s make
this right.”

She
felt torn, right down the middle, in a place between happiness and misery.

“We
can’t go back. I’ve told you that. Things have changed now.”

He
gave her a questioning look. “Why do you keep saying that? Nothing has
changed.”

“Have
you?”

“What
are you asking me?”

Have you changed? Are you ready to
commit to me? Are you ready to be a father?

The
words were at the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t say them. The fear of
rejection kept her silent.

“I
don’t know. I’m confused,” she finally said, feeling pathetic.

How
could she reasonably expect him to commit to parenthood when he didn’t know he
had a son? But how could she tell him about Jake when there was so much at
stake?

She
just wanted—no, needed—him to somehow say the right thing.

Jamie
smiled at her, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Alright, enough with all
of this. If tonight taught us anything, it’s that there is still something here
between us, and we owe it to ourselves to find out what that is. I was jumping
the gun asking you to move to New York. I don’t expect you to pick up your
whole life for me. All I want is to take things slow and see where this goes.
Will you do that with me?”

“I
don’t know.”

“Grace,
please.”

“What
about kids?” She blurted the words out before she could think through them and
blushed furiously the second they came out.

“What?”
He looked extremely confused, which just made things worse.

“Do
you want kids?” She tried to make the question sound casual.

He
laughed. “Okay... yeah, eventually. You know that.”

“When?”

“I
don’t know, in a few years. Not yet. Why are you asking me that? Does it
matter?”

She
felt a lead weight settle on her chest, crushing her hope. “I don’t know.”

“Is
something going on?”

“No.”
She shook her head. “I was just wondering.”

Jamie
raised an eyebrow, and she could tell he was getting frustrated with her. “I
feel like you’re not listening to me. I told you, I’m not talking about
marriage or kids. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything serious. I just
want to see where this goes.”

That
was the problem. There was no way in hell she could do that, not with Jamie,
the father of her child.

Not
when she was so in love with him.

The
realization didn’t come as a surprise, because if she were being honest with
herself, she had never stopped loving Jamie. She saw his face every single day
when she looked at her son, the little boy that meant more to her than life
itself. She had pretended to be over him, but she was only kidding herself. She
could pretend all she wanted, but it would never stop.

Jamie
was the love of her life, and she would always want more from him than he was
ready to give her.

“What’s
wrong?” He brushed the back of his hand gently across her cheek, looking at her
intently. “Tell me what you’re thinking. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me
what’s wrong.”

“You
can’t fix it. This isn’t going to work, Jamie.”

This
was a hurt she knew intimately. There were no tears this time.

“No.
Why are you saying that?” He didn’t attempt to hold back his frustration.
“Why?”

“Because
it won’t.”

“That’s
not a goddamn answer and you know it.”

“You’re
not ready for this.”

“That’s
bullshit, Grace. I’m telling you I am. Why are you doing this?”

She
was saved from answering by the ringing of her cell phone. She jumped out of
the bed to grab it like it was a lifeline, not caring that she was naked.

“Don’t
answer it,” he called out to her, but she did anyway.

She
saw Caroline’s name on the caller id.

“Hi.”

“Hi.
Can you come home?”

“Yes.
Is everything okay?”

“I
don’t want to worry you.”

The
words made her blood run cold. “What happened?”

“Jake
is sick. I think he needs to go to the doctor. I brought him home from school,
and he was burning up with a fever. It’s just getting worse.”

“Oh,
no. Poor baby.” She closed her eyes to block Jamie out. He was coming toward
her, concern written all over his face.

“He
keeps asking for you.”

“I’m
leaving right now. Give me twenty minutes.”

She
hung up the phone and started grabbing her scattered clothes from the hotel
room floor. “Where the hell is my bra?”

“Who
was that?”

“None
of your business.”

“It
was Charlie, wasn’t it?”

She
found her bra and put it on, doing her best to ignore Jamie. All of her
thoughts were on getting home to her son.

“What
did he want? Why do you need to leave?”

Dressed,
she grabbed her purse and the folders she had brought with her and made her way
toward the door. Jamie stepped in front of her, blocking her path.

“Move,”
she demanded.

“No,”
he said. “You can’t leave like this.”

She
couldn’t read the look on his face well enough to tell what he was thinking,
but she didn’t have the time to care. She had to get home.

“Move!”

“You’re
just going to go to him?” He crossed his arms over his chest in anger. “Are you
even going to tell him about this? Or are you just going to lie and pretend it
never happened?”

If
he didn’t move out of her way, she was going to mow him over.

She
narrowed her eyes at him. “You listen to me, Jamie Castleton. You get out of my
way right now or I swear, I will hate you for the rest of my life.”

It
was probably a little dramatic, but it did the trick. He stepped aside.

“Grace.”

“Goodbye,
Jamie.”

He
looked like he was going to say something, but she didn’t wait around.

She
had somewhere more important to be.

Chapter 14

“Come
here, baby.”

Grace
pulled Jake closer, wrapping him in her arms. She could feel the heat radiating
from his little body, but he was shivering.

“I’m
cold,” he told her.

“I’ll
warm you up,” she said, kissing him on the cheek.

His
fever was high, but not high enough to warrant a visit to the emergency room.
If it didn’t break by morning, she would take him to the pediatrician. Her
online search had her pretty confident that this was going to turn out to be a
24-hour virus, but she was still closely watching over her son to make sure it
wasn’t anything more serious.

Nothing
tugged at her heartstrings more than seeing Jake sick. She hated seeing his
big, blue sad eyes looking at her for relief she couldn’t provide. Illness was
one thing she couldn’t protect him from.

When
she had gotten home from Jamie’s hotel, Jake was sleeping on the couch, curled
up in a little ball under the blankets. She watched him for at least an hour,
avoiding Caroline’s questions and attempts at discussion and focusing on her
son. She did some research into his symptoms—fever, chills and a stomach
ache—and gathered medicine and other supplies just in case he needed
them. She set up shop next to him on the couch, waiting for him to wake up.

When
he finally did, he smiled at her, and it made her feel a little better. She
knew she was where she was supposed to be.

Then
he started complaining that his tummy hurt, and she was back in nurse mode,
doing anything she could to try and make him feel better. She made him soup and
watched him eat it, soothing him with silly stories about her childhood.

Once
he finished eating she tried to get him to sleep, but he wanted her to stay
with him. She happily snuggled up on the couch, his warmth temporarily filling
a place in her heart that Jamie had left empty.

“Mommy?”

“Yes,
baby.”

“Am
I going to have a brother or sister?”

The
question was so unexpected she nearly laughed, but she knew Jake would expect
be taken seriously. “No, sweetie. I don’t think so.”

“Why
not? My friends at school have brothers and sisters.” He looked up at her, his
cheeks burning but his eyes sharp. “My friends Matt and Joe are brothers. They
are twins!”

“Do
you want a brother or sister?”

He
wrinkled his nose. “I think I want a brother. Not a sister. Girls are silly.
Not you, mommy. Girls at school.”

She
laughed. “I don’t think you need a brother or sister, baby. I like it like
this, just the two of us.”

“Why?”

A
simple question with a complicated answer. The idea of having another baby may
have appealed to her in the past, but now, after what had happened with Jamie,
she was pretty sure she was as far as humanly possible from ending her time as
a single mother. Jamie was history, and she was going to have to say goodbye to
whatever she and Charlie may have had.

Maybe
it was for the best. She didn’t need any more heartbreak.

“I
don’t want to share you with anyone,” she told him, winking.

He
giggled. “You’re my mommy and no one else’s.”

“That’s
right.”

He
kissed her on the cheek and curled up against her, closing his eyes.

She
heard her phone, on vibrate, buzz.

Grace, can we talk? Please?

Grace
recognized the phone number as Jamie’s. She had given him hers when they were
in New York, just in case they were separated and he needed to reach her. This
was the first time he had used it.

She
typed a response.

No. Leave me alone.

Instead
of sending the message, however, she slammed her phone shut. The best response,
in this case, was no response. If she never answered her phone or left her
house, she would never have to talk to or see Jamie again.

She
wished she could go back in time and not sleep with him. It had been so
perfect, so wonderful, which just made things worse.

Grace
loved Jamie. She couldn’t deny that. Being intimate with him brought that love
to the forefront so that it could no longer be ignored.

Now,
she would have to go through the heartbreak of losing him all over again,
something she wasn’t prepared for. She wondered how long it would take her this
time to get through a day without thinking of him.

It
was already so painful.

Her
phone rang. It was Jamie. She waited until the call went to voicemail and then
turned her phone off.

No
more of this. The only reason she was able to move on from him last time was
because he was in New York and she was convinced she would never see him again.
She couldn’t get over him when he wouldn’t leave her alone.

He
cared for her; she knew that. He wouldn’t be trying so hard to get another
chance with her if he didn’t. Maybe it wasn’t that serious for him, but he
still wanted her.

But
that wasn’t enough. He needed to want their son, too. And she couldn’t trust
her greatest secret to him when he didn’t want to be a father.

Grace
saw what he had in New York, with his friends and the brewery. He was going
somewhere, rising to the top of the business world. She and Jake would hold him
back, just like they would have held him back five years ago.

He
wasn’t ready for her, for them.

She
couldn’t wait around, hoping. It wasn’t fair to her son or to herself.

She
felt a tear slip down her cheek and wiped it away, frustrated with her emotions.
She wished there was a switch she could flip that would delete her feelings for
Jamie and erase the memories. There were so many happy ones, and tonight she
had added more to the collection.

Idiot.

Jake
shifted against her, snuggling into her side. He was asleep, and she wouldn’t
dare move and wake him. It looked like they were going to be spending the night
on the couch.

“I
love you,” Grace whispered, gently brushing back his soft blonde hair. “You
look so much like your daddy.”

She
found that to be both and blessing and a curse.

“Is
he sleeping?” Caroline entered the room from her bedroom, dressed in silky
black pajamas. Her hair was curled and she had red lipstick on.

“Yes.”
Grace looked her sister over, raising an eyebrow. “What’s going on? Having a
pajama party?”

Caroline
shrugged. “I guess you could call it that. Will is staying over. He’ll be here
soon.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah,
I’m looking forward to it.” She giggled, and Grace thought it was good to see
her sister so happy.

“Well,
try and keep it down in the bedroom. Our little patient needs his rest.”

“Of
course!”

They
spoke in hushed voices, but it didn’t seem like Jake would be waking up anytime
soon. He was sleeping soundly, unfazed even when Grace moved him to get more
comfortable.

“How
is he feeling?” Caroline asked.

“He’s
alright,” Grace said. “It’s just the fever I’m worried about. I gave him some
medicine and I think that made it go down a bit.”

“Good.
Keep an eye on it.”

“I
will.”

Caroline
took a seat on the chair next to the couch. “So, do you want to talk about what
happened tonight?”

Grace
pressed her lips together. “No.”

“Something
happened. I can tell. You’ve barely said a word to me since you came home.”

“Nothing
happened.”

They
locked eyes, communicating without words as they so often did, waiting to see
which one of them would give in first.

Caroline
finally looked away, shaking her head. “You slept with him.”

Grace
put her finger to her lips and looked meaningfully at Jake. “How did you know?”

“It’s
all over your face.” Caroline sounded disappointed. “Plus, I had a feeling it
was going to happen.”

Grace
sighed, resigned. “I wish you could have given me a heads up. It’s not like I
wanted this to happen. I have zero willpower when it comes to Jamie, that’s the
problem.”

“So,
are you getting back together or something?” Caroline pulled a face. “What the
hell happens now?”

“Cara,
stop. You know that’s not possible.”

“Or
smart.”

“I
know. I already know that.”

“Clearly
you don’t. I don’t understand, does your brain drop out of your head when he’s
around?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What were you thinking?”

Grace
felt anger, hot and unexpected, rise within her chest. She already knew she had
screwed up, and she didn’t need Caroline up on her high horse rubbing it in.
There was only so much of this she could take.

She
carefully got up off the couch, detaching herself from Jake, needing to get
away from Caroline before she said something she would regret.

She
made her way into the kitchen, and Caroline followed her. Typical of their
fights, Grace was the one to walk away, whereas Caroline liked to talk every
issue to death until the air was completely clear.

“I’m
not the problem here,” Caroline said, cornering her with her hand on her hip.
“Jamie is. Don’t take your anger out on me.”

“I
don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Why
is that your response for everything? We need to talk about this. This is
important!”

“Now
is not the time, okay? I’ve had a really rough day.”

“You
brought that on yourself.”

“Stop
it, you’re supposed to be supportive of me, not make me feel even worse every
time I screw up.”

“Well,
if I don’t make my point here, I’m concerned this is just going to happen
again, and next thing you know you’ll be crying on the couch, alone and
pregnant, and I’ll have to pick up the pieces.”

Caroline
may as well have just slapped her across the face.

Before
Grace could even think of a response, they heard the front door creak open. Caroline’s
fiancé, Will, had let himself in with his key, and he walked into the kitchen
where the two women were staring daggers at each other.

“Did
I interrupt something?” Will asked, forcing a smile. “I was knocking, but I
guess neither of you heard me.”

“Sorry,
babe.” Caroline turned to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Can you give us
a few minutes?”

“Seriously,
Caroline? Let it go now, you’ve made your point.” Grace turned to leave the
room, eager to get back to her son.

Caroline
reached out an arm to stop her. “Wait. We’re still talking here.”

“Is
everything okay?” Will asked, concerned.

“Not
at all, actually.” Caroline’s voice was dripping with disapproval. “Grace slept
with Jamie.”

“Oh.”
Will shot Grace a look of sympathy. “Okay, well, it’s not the end of the
world.”

There
was a reason Grace liked this man.

 
“Thank you, Will. Caroline seems to
think it is.”

Caroline
groaned in frustration. “We need to have a serious discussion about this!”

“Caroline-”

“What
about Charlie? How could you do this to Charlie?”

“Caroline!”
Will shook his head at her. “You’re being cruel.”

“This
is none of your business.” Grace struggled to keep her voice down, but the
stress of the last few hours was pushing her to her breaking point. “This isn’t
your life, it’s mine, so stay out of it.”

“How
dare you say that to me! Of course it’s my business.” Caroline’s face was
getting redder by the minute, mirroring Grace’s own. “I’ve been here for you through
everything these past few years. I’ve been here for Jake every minute of his
life. He is a son to me just as much as he is to you, so everything that
involves him is my business.”

“I’m
not belittling everything you have done for us, Caroline,” Grace said. “I’ve
never been anything but grateful. But you’re not my mother, and I’m not a
child. You can’t get mad at me because I’m not living my life the way you want
me to.”

“It’s
not about what I want, it’s about what’s best for you!” Will put his hand on
Caroline’s shoulder and opened his mouth to speak, but she ignored him. “You’re
so blinded by your memories of Jamie that you’re not seeing the danger here!”

“What
danger?”

“Of
you falling in love with him again!”

Grace
slammed her hand down on the counter. “Too late! Sorry! I already did.”

Caroline
gasped, and Will sucked in a breath through his teeth.