Island Girl (51 page)
Authors: Lynda Simmons
All of them were pulling me now, dragging me down to the water. That was when I saw it—one of the giant swans, bright white against the dark water. Freed from the lagoon and floating not two feet from the shore.
Jocelyn bounced up and down, her smile wide, her eyes bright. “Isn’t it great? And look what else we have.” She shoved her hand into the bag and came up with two sparkly tiaras. She danced them back and forth in front of me. “One for you and one for me.”
I looked from the girls to the swan and back again. “I don’t understand. How did the swan get here?”
“We brought it!” Jocelyn said.
“On a Sea-Doo trailer!” Courtney added.
The swan bobbed gently on the water, her graceful head going up and down as if she were agreeing.
Yes, yes. I came on a trailer!
I felt myself smile. I couldn’t help it.
Yes, yes. I came on a trailer!
I felt myself smile. I couldn’t help it.
“The park guys move them around with a fork lift,” Brianne said. “But we figured there had to be another way.”
Courtney squeezed my arm. “Oh my God, Grace, those two know so much about boats and trailers, it’s amazing. And you should have seen Kylie driving the golf car!”
The only golf cars I knew about were used by the park people who cleaned the bathrooms. “You stole a golf car?”
“I didn’t steal it,” Kylie said. “She left the key in her basket of cleaning stuff when she went into a stall, so I borrowed it.”
Courtney put her hands on her hips. “It’s not like we had a choice or anything. I mean, how were we supposed to move the trailer without it?”
“I have no idea.” I looked back at the nodding swan. “How did you even get her here? Aren’t the swans locked up at night?”
“Not locked, just kind of corralled together with a big wire,” Brianne said. “The worst part was walking through the water to get to them.”
Courtney shuddered. “That was gross. But we did it and she’s here.”
A light breeze came up and the swan started turning in a slow circle, bobbing as she went, like she was dancing. Happy to be the lucky one.
“The hardest part was getting the swan on the trailer,” Jocelyn said.
“And the trailer up the slope,” Brianne groaned.
“But it was smooth sailing after that,” Courtney added. “You should have seen her riding along behind the golf car looking sooo majestic.”
Kylie nodded. “And sooo big.”
The swan went round again, turning in happy circles, taking my head with her.
“How long has the poor thing been out there?”
The girls looked at each other. “About two hours, wouldn’t you say?” They looked back at me. “Yeah, about two.”
The swan swung around again, nodding on her way past. “Yes, yes. Two at least.”
Kylie smiled. “And the golf car and the trailer are back where they belong. All that’s going to be missing now is a swan. No one will know how it got out or who did it.”
Brianne lowered her voice. “Which is why we are sworn to secrecy.”
“Absolutely sworn,” Courtney agreed.
They formed a circle. Each girl put one hand over her heart and the other in the middle of the circle so they were all touching. “Come on, Grace. You have to swear.”
The swan nodded and I didn’t know what else to do anyway, so I put one hand over my heart and the other on top of theirs.
“What happened this night remains a secret until death,” Jocelyn said solemnly.
“Until death,” they all repeated, and looked at me.
“Until death,” I said, still confused but certain I’d never tell anyone. Mostly because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I hardly believed it myself as I wandered down to the water and watched the swan dancing on the water, happy to be out here. Happy to be free.
“You should get in now,” Brianne said.
I shook my head. “Get in?”
Jocelyn took my arm. “This is our Getaway Swan. So we can get away from all the shit that’s been going on. Just float away and wave at the world like the queen.” She put one of the tiaras on her head. “Come on, do the queenly wave with me.” She cupped a hand, held it at shoulder height, barely moving it side to side while she looked down her nose at her friends and said, “Lovely to be here. Lovely to be here.” She laughed and pulled me toward the swan. “Let’s go. It’ll be fun.”
A wave brought the swan around to face me, her nod firmer, more definite this time.
Yes, yes! Time to go.
Yes, yes! Time to go.
I hesitated all the same. Not sure I should get into a stolen Getaway Swan.
You have to be careful all of your life now, Grace,
my mom had said when the baby was born.
You can’t take silly chances anymore.
my mom had said when the baby was born.
You can’t take silly chances anymore.
As if I ever had.
Brianne took my other arm. “It’s now or never. The sun is coming up and you don’t want to be here when the people start moving around.”
I dug my heels into the sand. “Where do I want to be?”
“Grimsby!” the girls said at once, pulling me forward.
My eyes lifted to the shore in the distance. “Because Rochester’s too far.”
“Where’s Rochester?” Courtney asked.
The water lapped gently on my toes. It was horribly cold, as always. “Somewhere over there. I don’t know exactly. But then, I don’t know exactly where Grimsby is either.”
“We have a map.” Kylie pulled a folded page from her pocket and held it out to me. “If you follow the shore, you can’t get lost.”
A map to Grimsby. The swan danced and Jocelyn bounced.
“I can’t do this,” I said, shaking myself free, marching back across the sand. “I don’t know what you were thinking about. Stealing a swan, dragging me out here in the middle of the night—”
“We were thinking about you,” Jocelyn said, taking my arm again, making me stop. “Because you’ve been so unhappy and we thought this might help. We thought that if you and I went out there on a swan and just gave the finger to everyone and everything on the Island, that it might make you feel better. Might even make you smile again.”
Jocelyn wasn’t smiling now. None of them were. Only the swan was still happy, still dancing, as if she really liked their plan, could hardly wait to get going. I had to admit I was starting to like it too.
“We just go out there and give the finger to everyone?” I asked.
“Anyone you want,” Jocelyn said. “Lori. Your mom—”
“Especially your mom,” Kylie muttered. Adding, “Well, she deserves it,” when Jocelyn elbowed her.
“She does deserve it,” I said quietly, looking back along the beach. Back toward Ward’s Island where the sun was rising, turning the sky pink and purple and painting the horizon with a thin line of pure gold while that hole in my stomach grew larger and larger.
“She deserves it,” I told the sun. “For making me retire and not telling me until it was too late.”
“For not letting you do manicures and pedicures,” Jocelyn muttered.
“And for wanting to kill the mockingbird,” Kylie said, adding, “My mom told me that a while ago. I’m sure she doesn’t want to kill it now.”
“She will if it starts singing again,” I said, and turned back to the sun. “And I hate her for that.” I looked back at Jocelyn. “I hate her.”
“That’s okay,” she said.
I shook my head. “It’s not okay. None of it’s okay.” The ache in my stomach was getting worse and I started to walk toward the sun, my voice rising, getting louder and louder with every step. “It’s not okay that I hate my mother or that Joe didn’t come back to see about the baby robin. And it’s not okay that Marla Cohen and Mrs. Charlton and everyone else went to Lori’s so easily. They didn’t even come to the house to say good-bye. Just got off the ferry and went to Lori’s, like it was no big deal.” I stopped suddenly and bent down. Picked up a handful of stones and threw them at the sun. “Well, it was a big deal to me!” I yelled. “It was a big fucking deal to me!”
I didn’t even know I was crying until Jocelyn put an arm through mine and the ache spread out across my chest. “So let’s do it. Let’s get in the swan and tell them all to fuck off.”
I turned slowly. Saw the girls watching me while the swan danced on the water all by herself, not caring one way or the other what I did. I could hop in and make my getaway, or I could get on my bike and go home. Shove dowels into Styrofoam and never again say that I wanted to escape on a swan because I’d been given the chance and I’d said no.
The swan stopped dancing and faced me again.
What will it be? Get in or go home?
What will it be? Get in or go home?
Didn’t matter to her which way I chose. She’d be fine either way. Someone would find her and take her back. I was the only one who would still be lost.
Jocelyn held out the second tiara. “What do you say?”
I took the crown, pushed the combs into my hair, and kicked off my sandals. “Let’s do it.”
Brianne cheered, Courtney did a cartwheel, and Kylie kicked off her shoes and splashed into the water with us, holding the swan steady while we climbed in. We all crossed our fingers when Jocelyn flicked the switch, and breathed a sigh of relief when the motor began to hum softly behind us.
Brianne unhooked the anchor, gave us a push, and went back to the sand. “Just beach it and run when you’re finished,” she called. “And if anyone asks where you got it—”
“It was floating on the water when we got here,” Jocelyn called, taking control of the swan as usual, heading us out into the lake.
The wind was calm, barely ruffling the surface of the water, and we kept going, farther and farther into the lake. Kylie, Brianne, and Courtney were still on the beach, and they cheered when Jocelyn turned the swan around and we gave them our best queenly wave.
“Are you ready?” Jocelyn asked.
I nodded and we pointed our middle fingers at the Island. Raised them up over our heads. “Fuck you, Ruby!” she hollered.
“Fuck you, Lori!” I added.
The girls on the beach held their middle fingers high. “Fuck ’em all!” they bellowed, and the five of us whooped and hollered, while I banged the side of the swan and Jocelyn thumped her feet on the bottom.
“Getaway Swan!” she yelled.
“Goin’ to Grimsby!” I answered, and we laughed and high-fived while she turned us around and headed out into the lake again. Aiming the swan at the distant shore. Straight ahead. You can’t get lost.
I could hear the girls on the beach chanting, “Grims-
bee
. Grims-
bee
,” as we chugged on, the swan skimming across the water, her head bobbing, agreeing.
Yes, yes. Going to Grimsby.
bee
. Grims-
bee
,” as we chugged on, the swan skimming across the water, her head bobbing, agreeing.
Yes, yes. Going to Grimsby.
Their voices faded, but we were still moving. Heading for that distant shore, Jocelyn laughing and waving over her shoulder. “Grims-
bee
. Grims-
bee
.”
bee
. Grims-
bee
.”
I looked back at the Island. The girls were growing smaller and smaller as we went farther and farther. I could see them walking back to the grass, making their own getaway. Leaving us behind.
You have to be careful all of your life now, Grace
.
.
I wiped my palms on my shorts. We should have brought sandwiches.
You can’t take silly chances anymore.
Like leaving the Island. Following Liz.
Going to the city. Going to the city.
Jocelyn turned back around, still laughing, pounding her fist on the side of the swan. “I told you this would be great. Didn’t I tell you this would be great?”
Her tiara sparkled in the sunlight. “Grims-
bee
. Grims-
bee.
”
bee
. Grims-
bee.
”
You need to be careful all of your life now, Grace. You can’t take silly chances anymore. Not with a baby.
Not with a baby.
“Are you okay?” Jocelyn asked.
I saw the water all around us, the swan’s beautiful head still pointed south.
You need to come home, Grace. You need to bring that baby home.
“Grace?”
I looked into her eyes. “I should have taken him home.”
“Taken who home? What are you talking about?”
I spun around in my seat again. Looked back at the Island.
That baby would still be alive if she’d brought him home.
“I knew I should have gone back,” I whispered, saying it out loud for the first time. “The day he was born, my mom said, ‘Bring that baby home,’ and I knew I should have. But I didn’t.”
“Grace, you can’t dwell on that.”
“But she was right.” I snapped around again, looking east toward Ward’s. “I should have gone back right away. I shouldn’t have taken silly chances. It’s not safe away from the Island. It’s never been safe.”
The next thing I knew I was in the water. It was colder than I’d expected. And I couldn’t see the shore anymore.
RUBY
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