It Was You (3 page)

I should run away but I don't. There is no use. He isn't in the truck, so he must be inside. Walking to the door, I take a large breath before I enter. Dexter jumps on me when I walk through the front door. He's one of the nicest pit bulls I've ever met, so long as you know him. He doesn't like strangers, which is exactly how Bruce trained him to be. He seems to think we actually have valuables and that people will want to break into the house- which is far from the truth. I see the way people look at this home as they walk past. People want to avoid this place, not break in.

He doesn't bark but he isn't exactly quiet. I don't want him waking anyone up, so I lean down while I rub behind his ears. "I'm going to go in my room, buddy. You coming?"

His response is a wag of his tail, then he follows me into my room where Dexter immediately hops on my bed, taking up the bottom portion. Kyler is passed out, taking the other part of my twin mattress. I stare, deciding if I want to sleep here or not. If I get caught sleeping on the couch though, he'll have a total melt down. I strip from yesterday's clothes, pulling on a pair of shorts and loose tee-shirt to replace what I had been wearing, before climbing into bed.

A warm hand pulls against my shorts, making its way inside. My body freezes at his touch- feeling anything but that warmth. When his fingers dip beneath my underwear, I pray this isn't going to take long. His lips kiss at my neck, attempting to comfort me or turn me on or... something. "Good morning, Princess," he whispers.

"Mm-morning," I mumble. My eyes remain close. I wish I had the strength to tell him no, to make him leave for good, to prevent him from hurting me the way he does.

When we first started dating, he was perfect. I was distant and shy the way I've always been, and I think that is what lured him to me. He'd whisper sweet nothings in my ear, telling me how beautiful I was, how different I was from other girls and how he enjoyed that about me. It didn't take long for me to start falling for him- but then, he changed.

I didn't want to lose my virginity, I wanted to take things slow, but he wanted to move quickly. He waited until he had my trust, then he ripped it apart in one night. He told me that I wanted it, that I asked for it, that I was a tease and deserved everything done to me that dreadful night.

The more I argued with him, the more I stood up for myself, the worse things got between us. He threatened my family- and although I'm not close to them I still love them, and it scared me what he'd do to them. He's threatened to harm Dawn. He's forced me to believe I'm worthless and that nobody but him will ever love me. Although deep down I know what he says to me is all lies, to keep control over me, I don't dare to find out for sure. If he can claim to love me and hurt me the way he does, then God only knows what he'd do to people he doesn't actually care about.

I know I'm weak, I know I'm an idiot, but I can't seem to find the strength to seek help. I can't imagine anyone would believe me anyways. His family is well known, has money and power, whereas my family is full of... trash. My mom is a drunk, her boyfriend is addicted to all sorts of things, and my brother is no better. I see how people stare at us, at me.

"I was looking for you last night," he whispers. I can hear the accusation in his voice. He knows I was avoiding him. He states it while his fingers are working their way between my legs. He wants to
punish
me for not being by his side all night. Not that I could even find him after a while.

"I- I was with Dawn." My voice trembles, both with fear and disgust. I don't want him to know I got a ride home from Jaron this morning, nor that I was in his bedroom last night. I know bad things will happen if he finds out, even though nothing even came close to happening.

His hand pauses against me and I can feel him staring at me. Opening my eyes, I peak over at him, wondering what he knows... or what he assumes. "No you weren't," he tells me. "Not the entire night."

"The only time I was away from her was when I used the bathroom and when I went to sleep."

"And where did you sleep?" His voice accusatory.

"In her car."

His eyes focus on me for a few minutes before he presses his lips to mine. "Tell me how much you love me, Ravyn."

Forcing the words out, I tell him I love him to the moon and back. All the while wanting to roll my eyes. He continues to assault me with his fingers until I fake an orgasm, which I've pretty much mastered. When he believes me to have getting off, he strips me completely from my clothes. I lay here, wishing that I could be anywhere else in the entire world. Hell, right now I'd be standing next to an erupting volcano if it meant I didn’t have to be in this bed with Kyler.

He could have any woman, and they'd willingly strip naked for him and do as he pleases, but he chooses to take advantage of my body without my consent. Not that I tell him no exactly, I wouldn't dare, but he knows just as well as I do that I despise everything about him.

The one time I told him I didn't want to was the first time I sported a fat lip. I've tried to make up excuses as to why I can't- period, cramps, headache, but none of it works. He's a disgusting human being.

When Kyler finishes with me, he stands from the bed to pull his clothes back on. "Do you work today?" he asks.

I shake my head back and forth to answer. I work two or three days a week at a restaurant to earn money for college. I didn't dare to work more because my mom would be cut off from her state assistance. She forbid me to work any longer than what I did. I didn't dare to work any less than I do, because then I'd have to hang out with Kyler. I'm hoping this summer I can find a few more hours, but maybe under the table.

"Good, I'll be back after work. Oh, and next Saturday Dad has a banquet. Make sure you have a nice dress for it, something you haven't worn before."

"I'll see you then," I tell him.

He smiles with those lips that once won me over, pretending that he actually loves me when he says, "Have a good day babe, I love you."

"Love you, too," I lie once more.

*--*--*

Once I'm showered, I toss my hair on top of my head before throwing on a pair of shorts and tee-shirt. Dawn hasn't answered any of my phone calls or texts, but as far as I know she works today, so I decide to walk to her work. It's only a two mile adventure. Even though the sun is quickly heating the outdoors, I really don't want to stay cooped up inside all day.

As my feet hit the concrete to the parking lot I'm pulled away from my focus by a loud roar of an engine pulling behind me, one that quickly comes to a stop.

"I thought that was you," his voice echoes through my ears.

I don't want to turn around. I don't want him to see what kind of mess I am- both physically and emotionally. I’ve sweat the entire walk here, not to mention I’ve been talking to myself about how much Kyler revolts me.

Not listening to my inner monologue, I turn around anyways, facing Jaron while he squirts some water into his mouth. Water has never looked so delicious.

But I can't think that. I should never think something like that.

Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I reply, "Yeah, it's... me."

I don't know what to say to him... or how to act. I'm new to all this. Whatever
this
is.

"Where you headed?" he asks.

"Oh, um," I turn to point at Dawn's work.

When I peak back over to Jaron he has an eyebrow lifted curiously. "Wright's Insurance?"

"Yeah, my friend works there," I mention. I don't know why I feel the need to. Just like I don't understand why he felt the need to stop and talk with me either. We don't know each other, he gave me a ride this morning and that was all. I don't want running into him to become a habit of any kind- because habits are hard to break, and I don't need anything else that's tough in my life.

Jaron slowly nods his head before speaking again. "What else are you up to today?" He looks my body up and down, but not the same way Kyler does. He doesn't look at me like I'm some kind of treat, instead he is reading me. I think. Trying to figure things out with me- probably why I'm dressed in such snarly, baggy clothes on a hot day instead of shorts where my ass hangs out of them like most chicks my age.

I pinch my mouth together, not wanting to mention that I'm supposed to see Kyler later today. "Nothing," becomes my response. I really don't know what I can tell him- that when Kyler shows up to my house the unthinkable will happen to me as punishment for... being me. What would he even say in response to that? Probably call me some trashy names and ride away never to speak with me again.

I would never inconvenience people with the truth of my life.

"Nothing, huh? Sounds... fun." He chuckles softly. I watch as he kicks his stand down for the bike, then climbs over to stand before me.

"What are you doing?" I ask. My voice rushes out in a panic. Enough so that Jaron stops to look at me strangely, his brows bunched together while he figures me out a little more.

With a shrug of the shoulders, he says, "Well, I was going to come meet your friend with you, but..." He stops, still gauging some kind of reaction from me.

The only thing I can think of is... why? Why me?

I can't ask him that though.

So instead I find myself slowly nodding my head, responding to him accidently. I just gave him permission to come meet Dawn, my best friend, yet I know nothing about this guy except that he isn't from around here, rides a motorcycle, and works on a farm. If I had told Dawn about him she'd laugh, telling me I was making up some random dude in my head. Nothing about Jaron Spilner makes sense.

"So let's go," he tells me.

Turning on my heels, I head into Dawn's work, probably walking faster than the average person. My nerves are twisted and I'm confused. Why do I have the feeling that everything in my life is about to get turned upside down and inside out?

The bells dings for Dawn's work when I walk in, indicating someone new has entered the facility. She walks out from her office a moment later, smiling sweetly. When she sees it's just me, she tones her smile down some since I'm not an actual customer. "You look tired," she claims. "Did you not... Oh. Hi?" Her head tilts to the man behind me. She's just as curious as I am.

Jaron's body brushes against me as he steps forward to shake Dawn's hand. Add professional and respectful onto the list of randomness that explains him. "I'm Jaron, you must be the best friend," he says.

"Yeah, that would certainly be me." Dawn looks over at me, her eyes wide as if she's asking me a million questions with them. I wish I could answer the things she's curious about- but I can't. I'm just as curious as her.

"Nice to meet you," he tells her.

"Yeah, you, uh, too."

"How's working in insurance?" He looks around the room, while we both continue to stare at him. "Looks... boring."

After a moment, she snaps out of her shock and starts to speak with him the way she speaks to most everyone- with charm. Something I wish I had more of. "It can be," she answers. "When the boss isn't here I tend to watch Netflix or chat on Facebook, but when she's here I have to actually do things, and it can make for very slow days. Either way, I get paid, so it makes it all worth it. Covers my shopping addiction."

So far she's made a longer, better conversation with him than I even have. I can feel the slightest ping of jealousy in me but I know that someone like Dawn is more fitting for someone like Jaron. Anyone with eyes can see that. I deserve the Kyler's of the world.

"A job is a job," Jaron replies to Dawn. "At least you get to work in air conditioning all day."

"True," she says with a head nod. Her smile widens until she spots me staring at her, then it quickly fades. She has the hots for him, and I want her to know that it's okay. He isn't for me anyways- she can have him. Even if the mere thought of them belonging together brings a small panic deep within.

"Well, you ready?" Jaron asks, looking at me.

"For?"

"Food. I'm starving." He rubs his hand over his stomach as if to show just how hungry he really is.

"I didn't..." I can't even finish my statement. Dawn pushes on my shoulder, urging me to go with him without saying a word.

Jaron smiles like he just won some kind of debate between the two of us. "You're hungry, come on."

"Yeah, I need to get back to work anyways," Dawn announces- although I know she's lying. She even winks at me before turning to head back into her office. I could throat punch her right now.

Once we're outside, I think about the consequences of getting caught. Kyler would have a field day with me, probably worse so than when he caught me speaking with Bentley Jacobs about our psychology assignment. I'd never known before that moment how truly jealous and insecure Kyler was, but he made sure to show me.

"I'm fine, honestly, I'm not that hungry."

Jaron pauses to peek over at me. I can tell he is curious as to why. He mentioned Kyler last night, he must know we're together. Then again, he assumed I was just some whore. He basically said so last night with his dumb statement.