It Was You (6 page)

"Oh, you know, busy as usual. I'll see you both at the table in ten. Okay?" He questions Kyler.

"Yes, sir."

The two of us head up to his bedroom, which is twice as large as my living room and kitchen combined. He has it set up with his bed and dresser on one side, and an entire entertainment stand filled with all the best of the best on the other side. A few boxes are by his closet door and I look at them enquiringly. "What are those for?"

He walks over to his radio and turns it on, blaring some country song I could care less about. I sit on his bed and watch as he strips out of his work clothing to put on something more comfortable.

"Those?" He points to the boxes. "I started packing. Dad said he'd love for us to move into the guest house."

"You already talked with him about it?"

"Yeah, at work today. I called to tell Gwyneth to start packing for me. It'll be cleaned out by next week." Once his shirt is in place, he walks over to the bed, forcing my legs apart with his. He stands inches in front of me, looking at me affectionately. I haven't figured out what makes him tick, if it's a mental disorder or something else entirely. Sometimes I truly do swear he loves me, but then he proves me wrong. It's a repetitive problem that I'm ashamed to be a part of.

His hand comes up to softly caress my cheek, holding my face in his palm. It's warm and consoling, a part of Kyler I don't get too often. When I do receive this kind of affection I crave more. It takes all my willpower not to beg him to continue to adore me the way he is pretending to right now. If he treated me like this always, I'd probably love him more than life itself, because we
do
have some good moments. They're just few and far between.

"Baby," he says kindly. "Don't stress yourself out. I'm taking care of everything for the two of us. If you want to go shopping with Krystal next week for furniture, then that'll make me happy, but you don't have to. Otherwise, it's all taken care of. I told you, you're mine, for the rest of your life. I'll always take care of you."

He comes down to press his mouth against mine. It's welcoming, and in some ways I almost want to melt into him, but then I remember that he's trying to take my college, my future, my escape all away from me, and I let go of all the comfort. It's replaced with repulsion. I smile all the same though, not letting him in on my disgust.

"What furniture?" I figure changing the subject is the best I can do.

I wouldn't mind going shopping with Krystal, even if it's for a home I don't want to live in with a man I definitely don't want a future with. Krystal is his dad's girlfriend. They've been together for about five years now. She's only a few years older than me though, which I find awkward. She is one of the genuinely nicest people I've ever met though.

"A couch, bedspread, curtains, all that shit I don't want to deal with. Just nothing overly girly."

"Gotcha."

"So what do you say? Want me to ask her?"

My mind is screaming no, but my head nods up and down, agreeing with him.

"Perfect." He presses his lips to mine once more before backing away. Holding his hands out for me, I place mine in his, then he helps me to stand. A song about an old beach roller coaster comes on the radio and he asks me to dance to it. This is part of the reason I think he has something mentally wrong with him, because how could he honestly get pissed at me for talking to his maid five minutes ago, and now he's kissing me sweetly and asking me to dance.

I twirl around the room with him, pretending that my life is this simple. This happy. That everything doesn't get blown out of proportion, and that I actually get to have a say about things in my life.

Pulling me into his arms, we sway back and forth, slowing even more so as the song comes to an end. Running his hands along my body, he leaves them placed on my butt firmly, then pulls me in as close as I can be. I can feel his happiness pressing against my stomach. I'm not sure how dancing can turn a guy on so easily, but he managed.

"Can we get married this summer?" he whispers in my ear.

"This... this summer? Why?" I know why, that was a stupid question. We both know it, but I ask anyways.

He can't even answer correctly. "Why not? What's stopping us?" I was hoping for
something
more than that. You know, an
I love you that much,
or
I can’t wait to make you my wife.
They’d be lies, I know this, but it’s better than asking,
why not.

I have to find a way to prevent it from happening this summer. About any excuse will suffice if I can have him hold off until at least the fall time. So I tell him the only reasonable excuse I can think of that hopefully doesn't anger him any. "I just don't think it's enough time to plan the wedding we deserve."

He pulls on my chin with his finger, causing me to look directly up to him. His eyes read me for a few minutes before slowly nodding his head. "How long do you think we'll need?"

"A few months, at least. Maybe a fall wedding. Wouldn't that be beautiful?"

"And cold," he adds bitterly.

"Not if it's all indoors. We wouldn't have to worry about the weather."

"I'll talk to father about it."

I smile in a small victory, mainly picturing me being far gone from here before we have the chance to walk down the aisle. My only guilt would be that his father is probably going to be the one paying for everything.

"Can I steal her a moment?" Dawn asks Kyler when we arrive. She's pulling on my arm before either of us can answer.

With a small wink, he tells her, "As long as you give her back before the night ends."

He walks away without even saying goodbye, not that he exactly has a chance. Dawn is pulling me until we're completely out of hearing range of anyone else. "Oh my God, Ravyn, do you even know about that Jaron dude?"

"What about him?"

"He killed somebody." Her eyes widen but I can't tell if it's in amusement or fright.

The fact she believes whoever told her that humors me greatly though. "Yeah, okay," I reply sarcastically.

"No, seriously. Jamison told Katherine who told Serenity who obviously told me. That's why he's home, he has to do some kind of community service or whatever. Stop hanging out with him."

I can't even hold back the eye roll. "You think if he killed someone he'd be doing community service?"

Her mouth snaps shut as she thinks that part over. "Well. No. I... I don't know."

"They're all rumors. If Jamison told Katherine that, it was probably to get her to stop ogling him or something."

Slowly Dawn's lips spread into a mischievous smile and I know exactly where her thoughts are going. "Good. I'm glad he didn't kill anyone. He's too hot. You really should mention me next time you talk with him."

"There won't be a next time, Dawn," I tell her again. "I'm not friends with him. If you like him so much, go re-introduce yourself."

I watch as she thinks on it. I know she isn't shy when it comes to guys, but she isn't exactly forward either. The girl definitely has a lot of confidence, something I envy the most about her. I can't help but feel resentful at the thought of her pushing her confidence towards Jaron. I may not want him, but I don't want her to be with him either. He's my own personal hidden jewel I want to keep all to myself.

"If he comes outside, I think I will." She peeks over at the house. His bedroom light is on, so he must be in there. I hadn't noticed if his bike was here or not. "I wonder if that's his bedroom."

When Dawn bites down on her lip, I blurt out, "No, I think that's their dad's room." I'm not sure why I lie. I need to keep my emotions in check. I need to not be jealous of someone who is not mine and never will be.

She loses hope in that idea. "Bummer. Alright, let's go get a drink."

"Sounds good to me." For once, I feel like I need a drink. Between Kyler trying to ruin my dreams and plan a wedding, Jaron coming into my life suddenly, and Dawn trying to take him away, I need a night to let go. Too bad I'm too scared to actually get drunk. Especially with Kyler being here.

Dawn and I each fill up a cup with beer from the keg, then walk over to her crowd of friends. Serenity is gushing about her new car that her parents bought her for graduation- a red convertible. Most of the conversations going on enter one ear and leave the other as I sit her mindlessly pretending to be interested in things, although that could be further from the truth.

"I heard you're not going to A&M anymore, Ravyn?"

I peak over at Jaella questionably. "Says who?"

The entire crowd goes silent as they watch me closely, mainly Dawn who looks as confused as I feel. I'm sure Kyler told a few people but my question is how Jaella of all people found out so quickly that he decided that for me.

"Oh, um, Kyler told me. He said y'all are getting married instead." She cocks her head, now showing confusion herself.

I'm not even sure how to respond. Do I say yes, just so that it gets back to Kyler that I'm following along with his plans- and look like a complete and utter wench? Do I say no, since I don't want any of it? Do I tell her possibly, because at this rate I don't even know what my future holds? Either way I am going to get backlash of some kind, whether from Kyler getting pissed at me for embarrassing him, or from this crowd of people who all think I'm just some bimbo about to give up her future so my boyfriend can take care of me.

I receive enough whispers and stares due to who my family is. I guess adding in a few more won't hurt any, especially if it means I don't get hurt psychically.

"I didn't know he was telling anyone," I answer, attempting to clear up her confusion.

Dawn shoves at my shoulder, pushing me out of the crowd of people. "Walk," she orders.

Turning on my heels, I head back away from the crowd. I hear a few shocked voices and plenty of hushed words. It doesn't take much to entertain the people in this town. "What?" I ask when we get far enough away.

"You're not going to Texas anymore?"

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"I love you, I love you with Kyler, and don't get me wrong, I think you're incredibly smart, but seriously? This is the dumbest decision. You can attend college still, then come back home and be with him. You don't have to throw it all away for him."

How do I explain I have no choice? She wouldn’t understand. Clearly. "I said I don't know what I'm doing."

With a long sigh, Dawn places her hand on my shoulder and slowly shakes her head back and forth. Her eyes are pleading with me, the way they have many times before. "Don't let him make decisions for you, Ravyn. I know that you're used to people walking all over you, I get that that is why you two work so well together, but now is the time to put your foot down. Do what
you
want, not what he wants for you. It'll all work out the way it's supposed to."

"Is that why you and I are such great friends, because I let people walk all over me?" I snap. After what Kyler said about Dawn not being a real friend, it's made me wonder. Now that she says those hurtful words, it's as if she's confirming it to be true.

"What, no. Ravyn, all I'm saying is..."

"It doesn't matter," I interrupt. "You've made your point. I am doing what I
want
to do, so just... mind your own business."

Dawn's face grows red with anger. "Ravyn-"

"Just stop," I order with a loud voice. "Stop telling him not to walk all over me while you're doing just that!"

"You're being ridiculous."

"Thanks. Appreciate it." My sarcasm comes out with a small choke of emotion. I've never had an argument with Dawn, but then again, I never stick up for myself. Without another word I walk away, ready to find Kyler and ask if we can get out of here. Although, I truly don't even want to leave with him. I'd rather walk home.

After ten minutes of walking around I don't see Kyler anywhere and my anger grows even more. Ready to be done with today, I head towards the road, prepared for the dark walk. Walking past the garage, I hear the timid voice of Kyler accompanied with a female's giggle.

Rounding the corner of the garage I spot Robin pushed against the building, her skirt hiked up to her hips. Kyler's body is placed snuggly against her, holding one of her legs up around him. He says something more that causes her head to fall back and a small moan to escape from her lips.

I don't feel jealous or angry watching them in front of me, instead I feel defeated. I've given him so much, I watch what I say or do so I don't make him upset, and after years of both physical and emotional abuse this is how I'm repaid. They say to follow your instincts, so I should have known he cheated. Thinking it and knowing it are different things though, and right now I feel total disgust.

I thought after graduation that things would get better, not worse. I knew this final summer was going to be a challenge to get through but I didn't expect all of this. A best friend who apparently isn't a friend at all, and a boyfriend who tells me he's going to marry me one minute and prepares to fuck a whore the next.

"Fuck you," I hiss out. It feels good to say to him, finally after all this time.

Kyler freezes for all of a second while he turns to face me. Robin's leg drops and she looks shocked to have been caught, proving herself to be even more of an idiot. I don't pay any mind to her though, my attention is completely on the douche bag in front of me.

His face contours from the horny, happy teenager he just was to the asshole he normally is. "What did you just say to me?"

"Fuck. You." Euphoria washes over me when I repeat those words. I've wanted to tell him that so many damn times.

He snorts out a hard laugh, mocking amusement. Pushing Robin aside, he adjusts his pants before walking in my direction. My feet remain planted on the ground. He doesn't seem to care that she’s watching as he grabs my arm and pulls me close to him, gripping hard into my skin. I know it's going to bruise. His words seethe out of his mouth in pure outrage. "You don't fucking speak to me like that. You got it, cunt? I'm your damn fiancé and you're going to respect me. Understand?"

When I don't say anything, he squeezes my arm tighter causing a small whimper to break free.

"What was that?" he breathes heavily in my ear. "I can't fucking hear you."

"Fuck you, Kyler. Fuck. You." My eyes close tightly in preparation to what is yet to come. I'm pretty certain I've angered him to the point of not caring who is around.

The blow to my face stings. The pain radiates from my cheek down to my neck. I'd have fallen back if it weren't for him still holding my arm with all his might. Before I'm even given the chance to react, his free hand comes up and grips onto my jaw, holding my face firm. The skin inside my mouth starts to taste like blood as it’s being forcefully pressed against my teeth. I'm given no choice but to face the creature in front of me.

"I don't know who the fuck you think-" he starts to loudly speak in my ear before he's interrupted by a voice that instantly causes nerves to become hyperaware in my stomach.

"I don't know who the fuck
you
think
you
are." Jaron repeats the words of Kyler, only they're not meant for me. "Now let her go and back the fuck off."

Kyler doesn't let up though, at least not yet. His jaw ticks back and forth, probably from being caught. He stares past me but his face remains close. I can smell the stale beer on his breathe when he tells Jaron, "This doesn't concern you."

"Oh, but it does. You're on my property. Let her go... now."

"Or what?" Kyler questions.

"Or I'll fucking kill you," Jaron angrily spits out at Kyler.

I do my best to swallow but his force on my neck is too hard and instead it causes me to start choking. Kyler only grips harder and I find it more difficult to breathe. He says something to Jaron but my concentration becomes on trying to free his hand from my neck. I claw at his hand, trying to pull it from me but his grip becomes too much. My sight starts to fog.

His hand is pulled from me and I finally fall to the ground, chocking hard on the air that I'm desperately trying to breathe in. I don't even notice the stinging of my knees until I'm finally catching my breath. Arms come around me, desperate and weak. I realize that it's Robin, as she continues to whisper how sorry she is.

I look up to see Kyler pinned to the garage by Jaron's rugged arm. His fist shakes like he's about to punch Kyler, but he remains still. They stare into one another’s eyes, saying so many things without speaking a single word. Finally Kyler shoves Jaron back from him, although he doesn't budge much. "Stay the fuck off me," Kyler spits out. "You fucking fag."

Jaron gives him a shove, causing him to fall back into the wall once more, but says not a word. Walking over to me, he reaches down to help me up. It takes a minute for me to stand on my own two feet. I look back over to Kyler who is simply giving me a glare- a warning. Oh there is going to be a serious amount of consequence to all this. He and I both know it.

A part of me wants to run to Kyler and beg for his forgiveness, only for the sake of not being as harmed later on, but I don't. I can't seem to move at all.

Robin snaps me out of my thoughts by getting in my face as close as she possibly can. "Are you okay, Ravyn? I'm so sorry. I didn't realize this would happen."

"I'm fine," I tell her. My voice monotone and emotionless, as it usually is.

Her eyes widen, like she understands things now. "I… I… I'm sorry," she whispers once more.

"Come with me," Jaron orders, pulling on my arm.

He stops pulling on me once we round the corner but I continue to follow him until we're at the front door. He peaks over at me, and from the look on his face I'd say he is more than pissed. I'm not sure if at me for being with Kyler, or at Kyler for doing what he did, or a little of it all. It shouldn't matter to me- and it shouldn't matter to him either.

After a second of silence he finally asks, "How many times has he hit you?"

I don't answer that. I won't. Instead I look over towards the road. It's about an hour walk home, and I could use the time to think. I whisper out a thanks to Jaron, then I head home on foot.