It's Now or Never (15 page)

‘Well, I'm really glad you came. It's been great. Definitely worth the wait,' he said, giving me a barely perceptible wink that spoke straight to my insides. His hand reached out for mine on my lap and our eyes met, his touch sending a jolt of electricity reverberating down my spine. He moved his stool closer to mine so that our knees were touching, his hand slipped onto my waist and it was as if all the noise and hubbub of the bar drifted away into the background and it was only me and Alex alone in the bar. My body went into freefall as his lips landed on mine and my mouth opened involuntarily, ready to taste the sweetness of his kisses on my tongue.

I was loving more, laughing more, and I hadn't given a second thought to the cream scones, cucumber sandwiches and fruit cake I'd polished off with gusto this afternoon. Mum would definitely have approved. What did it matter if it was only for the moment? Here was exactly where I wanted to be right now.

The nicely romantic intimate mood we'd created was shattered by someone lunging into my stool, almost sending me toppling over the side.

‘Well, well, well! Look at you two getting cosy together!'

We both looked up at the same time as we felt an arm around our shoulders. Tom was standing between us, grinning broadly. He gave me a wet and sloppy kiss on the cheek and I had to resist the urge to shudder and wipe it away.

‘Hi!' Alex and I said in unison, dropping our hands and giggling as though we had something to be embarrassed about, which of course we didn't. Seeing Tom swaying between us dashed my good mood immediately. Not only had he wrecked a lovely moment between Alex and me but he was clearly way ahead of us in the drinking stakes, and without his lovely wife at his side too.

‘So, what's going on? Are you two an item now?' he asked, laughing, patting Alex heartily on the back.

‘No,' said Alex quickly. A bit too quickly if I'd stopped to think about it, but that wasn't my major concern right now. ‘We've just been catching up, that's all.'

I looked at Tom, trying to reconcile the man in front of me with the man I saw marry my best friend just a few months ago. His smooth, charming demeanour that had been very much in evidence that day was missing now. His hair was unkempt, dark shadows circled his eyes and I felt sure if I put a match up to his mouth he would have erupted into a fireball.

‘How's Angie? Is she not with you?' I asked, making a show of looking over his shoulder, knowing full well she wouldn't be.

‘Aw, she's fine. Getting fatter by the day.' He swept his hand in front of his stomach, imitating a bump. ‘No alcohol, no sex, she's no fun at the moment.' He winked as though I might find that remotely amusing, which I didn't.

‘Really?' I nodded, biting on my lip. Only a few moments earlier I'd felt happy and light-hearted, and now Tom had waltzed in and spoilt everything. I had an anger stirring deep in my stomach, something I was having trouble keeping a lid on. ‘You know, Tom, I think Angie would appreciate it much more if you were at home with her rather than propping up a bar with your mates.'

‘Excuse me?' he said, looking at me as though he couldn't quite believe what I said. He turned to Alex for support, but he'd taken the moment to casually look away – suddenly finding the stem of his wine glass infinitely more interesting.

‘Tom, you are newly married, your lovely gorgeous wife is pregnant with your first child and I know, because I had a long heart-to-heart conversation with her the other night, that she's feeling vulnerable, exhausted and unloved right now. You shouldn't be here with us, you should be at home providing her with support and care.'

‘Woah. Give a bloke a break, Jen. For your information, I've been working hard all week. Someone has to. How else will the mortgage get paid? It's not too much to ask to want to have a couple of drinks at the weekend, is it?'

‘No, but it's just not the weekends, is it? It's every night. You're a married man now, Tom. You can't just carry on acting as if you're still a single bloke.'

‘But I've always done this,' said Tom sounding defensive. ‘Alex will tell you that. Angie knows the score.'

‘But that's exactly my point, Tom. You always did it in the past when you were a single man, but things have changed now. You've got to start acting more responsibly. Think about Angie for once.'

Tom looked out of the corner of his eye at Alex and grimaced, who shrugged by way of reply.

‘When you split up before wasn't it because of these very reasons, Tom? You going awol for days on end, not turning up when you were supposed to and generally messing her around. You can't treat her like that any more.'

In fairness, he was taking my onslaught on the chin, even if he was looking a bit browbeaten right now. His shoulders had slumped and he was shifting from one foot to the other looking like an errant schoolboy. Just in case he was thinking of turning round and doing a runner I took the opportunity to press the case home.

‘It's half past ten, Tom,' I said, glancing at my watch. ‘You can't expect Angie to stay up until all hours just waiting for you to roll home. Have you got any idea what it must be like for her? Sitting there all night on her own. Are you going to carry on like this when the baby arrives? I really hope not because if you do, well then honestly Tom, I don't hold out a lot of hope for your marriage.'

‘Jeez, I know we've never really hit it off, Jen, but I didn't know you were quite so strong in your dislike of me. What is this, have a pop at Tom night?'

‘Jen's my friend. I want the best for her. And if I see her upset or being hurt then that upsets me too. She's a great girl and she doesn't deserve to be treated badly.'

‘Oh,' Tom dropped his gaze to his feet. ‘I do love her you know.'

As he looked up at me, hollow-eyed, and as if he didn't know quite what he was doing there, I could quite believe that he did.

‘Well for goodness' sake just be a bit more thoughtful and respectful. She needs you right now, Tom, can't you see that?'

He nodded.

‘Yep. Thanks, Jen. Received and understood.' He gave me a friendly salute before he looked across at Alex, a tentative smile forming on his lips. ‘Still we've got time for a quick one while I'm here, haven't we?'

Alex laughed, holding up a note to the barman, and proceeded to put in an order for a round of drinks.

‘Not for me,' I said, turning to Alex, feeling a sudden wave of disappointment. ‘Do you know something, Angie was right, you're just as bad as he is! Thanks for a great day, but now I really need to get out of here.'

Chapter Seventeen

I stormed out of the bar, feeling ever so slightly ridiculous, and tried to hang onto a modicum of dignity as I was fully aware of a few sets of eyes turning to look at me on the way out. I wasn't really the storming-out type and I wasn't entirely sure where tonight's display of feistiness had come from, but all I knew what that I needed to get out of that place, away from those two grinning idiots.

Outside, I was grateful to feel the light wind on my face and took a breath of the cool night air, trying to gather my senses. All the time it had been just Alex and me alone together we'd got on famously, but seeing him with Tom tonight brought all of Angie's warnings to mind again. Me giving Tom a dressing down had just been a huge joke to the pair of them. I noticed the exchanged glances, the rolled eyes, the sheepish grins. They were probably having a good laugh about it now over a pint of beer. Well good luck to them. Don't they say you should listen to your gut and my gut had been telling me ever since I met Alex that I should steer well clear.

I tucked my hands into the pockets of my jacket and was walking along by the side of the river, looking out over the water trying to forget what had just happened when I heard a voice calling from behind me.

‘Jen, wait!'

I turned round to see Alex running to catch me up. He grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around, his eyes full of dark confusion.

‘What the hell was that all about?'

I batted away his hands and walked away muttering.

‘Tom. He's out of order and it just makes me so angry.'

‘Yeah, I got that quite clearly, but what has that got to do with me? I thought we were having a great time there. Why did you walk out on me? What have I done that's so wrong?'

‘I saw you both smirking. As though it was one big joke, but it's not, Alex! It makes me cross to think that he's still behaving as though he's a single man while Angie's stuck at home feeling sorry for herself. I saw her a few nights ago and she was in a right mess. Pregnancy can be a hard time for a woman. She needs her husband at home, not down the pub drinking himself silly.'

‘For your information I wasn't smirking, but I honestly don't think it's anyone's business but Angie and Tom's. She's a big girl, she can surely fight her own battles. How can you possibly know what's going on in someone else's relationship anyway? I don't doubt you're getting Angie's side of the story, but what about Tom? Aren't there two sides to every story?'

‘Really, Alex, I wouldn't expect anything less of you. You're Tom's friend and you're going to back him to the hilt whatever happens. You're two of a kind. Two peas out of the same pod. I knew that from the first day I met you. Angie warned me against you and I should have taken heed of that warning. Sorry, but I should never have come out with you today in the first place.'

‘Sorry?' He grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me closer to his body, his eyes boring down onto me. Eyes that spoke a million words in their expression as they flickered into my soul. ‘What the hell exactly did Angie say about me?'

‘That's not important. This isn't about you and me. It's about Tom and Angie.'

‘Well, you've just made it about me. You can't come out with comments like that and then not follow them up. Tell me what she said.'

He was staring at me, unblinking, and I gulped under the intensity of his gaze – wondering what the hell had possessed me to say that. This had got way out of hand and his proximity, the scent of his aftershave wafting beneath my nostrils, his hand clutched tightly onto mine was playing havoc with my concentration. Suddenly all the fight had gone out of me and all I really wanted was for him to kiss me again, like he had back there in the pub. I could quite easily have fallen into his arms and laid my head down on his shoulder.

‘Don't worry,' I said, in what I hoped was a light-hearted way. ‘Nothing too damning.' I took a step backwards to put some distance between us, but I could tell Alex wasn't satisfied with my answer. He tilted his head to one side and nodded, urging me to go on.

‘Well.' I took yet another step backwards and he dropped my arm. ‘All she said was that you weren't really boyfriend material.'

‘Really?' His expression was dark and unforgiving. ‘And why is that? According to the gospel that is Angie Cooper?'

‘Something about you being a serial dater and a commitment-phobe? That you don't keep a girlfriend for longer than three months before moving on…' My voice trailed away.

‘That's nice.' I could tell by the set of his mouth, the flicker of a pulse in his neck and an iciness in his eyes that he thought it far from nice, but why was he taking it so badly?

‘I think she was just worried that I might get hurt,' I explained, feeling guilty that I'd broken Angie's confidence for the second time this evening. I grimaced, hoping she'd understand when I told her the circumstances. ‘She didn't want me getting involved with someone who wasn't looking for the same sort of relationship that I was. That's all.'

‘Really? That's all, you reckon? Why doesn't Angie concentrate on her own relationship instead of interfering in mine?'

Alex shook his head and gestured for us to walk on, joining me at my side. The wind had picked up and the temperature seemed to have dropped by several degrees in the last few minutes. Well it was either that or else I was being buffeted by the severe cold front wafting my way from Alex's direction.

‘She was only looking out for me. That's what friends do. I look out for her. She looks out for me.'

‘But everything makes sense now. It's why you've been avoiding my calls, isn't it? Why you were so reluctant to see me again. Didn't you think it would be worth finding out for yourself rather than just taking Angie's word for it? I mean, she hardly knows the first thing about me.'

Anger radiated from his entire body. I hadn't intended to make him feel that way, but it was just bumping into Tom like that, and thinking about Angie and what she'd been going through these last few weeks, that had brought a whole set of emotions bubbling to the surface.

‘What happened to Tom?' I asked, to break the ensuing silence.

Alex shrugged, a rueful smile on his lips.

‘He decided to go home. With his tail between his legs, I don't doubt.'

‘I'm sorry,' I said, although I couldn't feel any remorse for what I'd said to Tom. He'd needed telling and as his wife's best friend, I was the person to tell him. Although there was a tiny part of me that worried Angie might be upset with me. I hoped she'd realise I was only trying to help. Someone needed to point out a few home truths to her husband.

‘I didn't mean to spoil the evening,' I said now to Alex. ‘It was a lovely day up until that point. And I apologise for having a go at you. It really wasn't about you.'

‘No, I get that.' He stopped and put a hand on my shoulder, turning my body to face him. ‘Look, let's not allow what happened back there to spoil what's left of the evening. Come back to mine for coffee, Jen,' he said, his hand finding my waist again, his lips, detectable kissable lips, a hair's breadth away from my own.

Alex was right. I had been pushing him away just because I was too scared to let my defences down and let him in. Angie's cautionary words had struck a chord deep within me, but I realised now that I should do as Alex had said and make my own mind up about him, not base my judgement on something Angie had told me. Still, my head was telling me to make my excuses and get myself out of there as quickly as possible – but my heart was telling me something else entirely.