It's Only Temporary (28 page)

‘So what do you reckon?’ she asked after the two interviews.

‘Matt.’

‘Why?’

‘He just seemed to know more about the type of subject he would be delivering and the nature of the guys on the course.’

‘Stuart has a greater amount of teaching experience, ’she challenged.

‘Yeah but…’

‘What?’

‘Well teaching experience and real life experience do not always mean the same thing in my ……experience.’

She smiled at this, ‘So?’

‘These guys will need someone….grounded.’

‘Grounded?’

‘Yeah, on their level,’ I said warming to my theme.

‘Like you were?’

I paused, ‘No exactly the opposite.’

She laughed again, ‘Ok, Matt it is. One question though?’

‘Hmmm?’

‘What are you doing this weekend?’

Chapter 33.

No, no, no, don’t do it! I mentally screamed.

‘Well I am going to America Monday afternoon, oh yeah I am seeing the guy at the Poly Monday morning. Other than that just killing time,’ I said.

She considered my response for a moment before she said, ‘You wanna do something with me and Max this weekend?’

No!

‘Like what,’ I asked.

‘I was gonna go somewhere in Dolly.’

‘Where?’

‘I dunno, Norfolk? Sussex? Dorset? Devon?  Somewhere.’

‘My parents are in
Devon,’ I said, not really sure why.

‘You told em yet?’

‘Told them what?’

‘Duh!
America, ring any bells?’

‘No.’

‘It’s the big place you’re going to on Monday.’

‘No, I meant…’ Her smile stopped me. ‘You’re teasing me.’

‘Totally,’ she said grinning. ‘You should tell em.’

She was right of course, ‘Yeah I guess so.’

‘So?’

‘So what?’

‘A road trip to Devon to surprise the olds?’

‘Ok.’

‘Let’s do it!’

How on earth did I get myself into these situations? I reflected as I walked back to my room. The plan was simple enough, she was picking me up in about an hour after I had sorted out my rucksack and then we were heading for
Devon to surprise my parents. In order to facilitate this plan she had closed the centre at lunch time so we would avoid arriving at a very late hour. She had quickly looked up the camp site my parents were staying at on the internet and had called them to reserve a pitch for Dolly.

The speed and efficiency with which she was operating would have impressed the
CIA, however it caused me to be swept along and left no chance of trying to clarify what, if anything, had gone on between us. That’s for the best I decided, let sleeping dogs lie as they say.

‘Have you been to this site before?’ she asked as we trundled along the M4.

‘No, usually I see them at Christmas and they have rented a cottage.’

‘Right,’ she was trying to suppress a smile.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘Oh, nothing. I am excited about seeing your dad’s camper that’s all.’

The camper, I had forgotten about how she had been interested in that. Was that what all this was about, my dad’s car? Not me? A small amount of resentment surfaced inside me.

‘Right music time! What you reckon buddy?’ she asked Max.

‘Rock and Roll!’ he shouted. He was sitting in his car seat behind us wearing an enormous pair of sunglasses which had the effect of making him look like some kind of huge insect. She pressed a button on the dashboard mounted stereo and a wave of sound hit me.

‘What on earth is this?’ I had to shout.

‘This is Bon Jovi baby!’ she shouted back.

Whoever Mr Jovi was he was singing something about living on a prayer, pretty apt I felt. Several hours and numerous traffic jams later we arrived at the camp site. It was late and dark by this point and we elected to park up and put the already asleep Max to bed.

Dolly’s ingenious interior allowed for a bed large enough for two people, to appear as if by magic from the rear seats which was shared by Stacy and Max. I had a bed that was just big enough for me behind the front seats. Settling down to sleep I was surprised to find I felt quite content, I had been trying to suppress my emotional response to Stacy but strangely was quite comfortable with her and Max. Tomorrow I was due to face my parents a daunting prospect at any time but having Stacy with me seemed quite reassuring.

Her friendship was something I valued I realised; maybe this had been what confused me. We were friends, I did not have crush on her after all, did I?

The following morning I awoke to the sound of a kettle boiling, I looked at where Stacy and Max should have been sleeping only to find that they were both up and dressed with the bed folded away.

‘Morning,’ she said cheerfully. ‘I thought we’d go and get some breakfast from the café before we go and find your folks?’

‘Sounds good.’

Following a shower in the bathroom block which turned out to be cleaner and warmer than the one at
Henrietta Street we headed for breakfast. It was shaping up to be a very warm and sunny day so we were all dressed in shorts and T shirts. Max had the additional items of a baseball cap and his insect sunglasses plus a covering of factor five thousand sun lotion which made him look like a ghost.

My concern about spending time with Stacy was dissolving rapidly; I was actually enjoying myself and was quite flattered when Max unexpectedly took my hand as we walked. He was fascinated to discover that they had dog’s in
Devon too.

Getting the pitch number for my parents from the office we set off walking with a crudely drawn map as our reference point. I was nervous as we walked along the track, my parents were very loving and kind people who just happened to live a bizarre way of life. However I was unsure how they would react to our unexpected arrival and my news, I did not want to hurt them. 

Growing up my school friends who had discovered that my dad was not in fact a NASA engineer had always thought his dreadlocks and tattoos were cool. I had thought dreadlocks were ridiculous for a white guy from Manchester as was my mother’s penchant for wearing Kaftans. Especially when I was a child and she had attended school parent’s evenings in them.

Some years before they had decided to retire and had set off to travel the world in what even I had to admit was a pretty cool camper van. My dad had spent years restoring it and I was sure Stacy would not be disappointed, for some reason this felt important to me.

In the end they had reached this part of Devon after a week and had never left, as far as I could tell they normally used the camper as a car and lived in a rented cottage or something similar during the winter, it was all a bit vague about the summer and the campsite but my mother had told me they had a pool and views of nature.

The pool was something Max was very excited about.

I saw the camper, ‘That’s them.’

‘Oh wow! Look at that VW!’ Stacy said.

‘Yeah, not sure where they are though.’

‘Hello!’ a voice called out.

I froze, my brain felt like it was experiencing multiple short circuits. At that moment I had no idea where either Stacy or Max were, I could not speak or move only stand there trying to suppress a scream. Walking towards us was my dad, tanned, fit, dreadlocked, tattooed and completely naked.

‘You’ve found us, what a brilliant surprise,’ he said, extending his hand to Stacy.

‘Hi I’m Rob, his dad,” he said gesturing at me with his head.

She recovered quickly and shook his hand, ‘I’m Stacy, pleased to meet you.’

I found I was only able to turn my head to look at Stacy and the wide eyed, open mouthed Max. I was astonished at her composure when she said, ‘And this is Max, say hello Max.’

He looked thoughtful for a second, ‘Hello,’ he said
eventually then added ‘Where are your clothes?’

My Dad paused and then laughed, ‘Oh, I forgot I wasn’t wearing any. We tend not to when it’s very hot. ‘

Max seemed happy enough with that response ‘Can I see your pool?’

‘Of course you can,’ they turned and walked away. My dad looked over his shoulder and said, ‘You alright Son?’

Stacy took my hand, but all I could focus on was the back of Max’s head. The boys black hair a stark contrast next to my dad’s white buttocks.

‘Are you ok?’ she asked.

‘I am so sorry, I had no idea!’

‘It’s fine, a bit of a shock but funny too. Your parents are nudists! I knew the site had a naturist section from the website but didn’t know they were in it.’

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

‘Cos you would have run a mile!’ That was probably true.

We walked past the camper and Stacy could not take her eyes off of it, my dad was showing Max the “pool” which was a fairly loose description I felt as it was in fact a large inflatable paddling type affair. Sam however was far more interested in the living accommodation, a full size Indian Tepee.

‘I thought you lived in the camper?’ I said.

‘Whatever gave you that idea?’

Max appeared at the entrance, ‘Mum, can I have one of these?’

Stacy and my dad laughed, ‘We will see,’ she said.

‘Come sit,’ my dad said guiding us to a table and chairs in the shade of a tree. ‘Your Mum has popped to the shop to get some cold drinks. We can’t keep them cool for long here.’

‘Right,’ at least she will have clothes on’ I thought.

I heard her voice, ‘You’re here?’ there was an unmistakable element of anxiety in her tone.

‘Oh sweet Jesus!’  I put my forehead on the edge of the table and tried to focus on my shoes.

She was wearing a floppy sun hat and large round sunglasses that reminded me of my pepper spray Panda look. However she was wearing nothing else except two carrier bags of assorted bottles, she quickly went into the tepee and then screamed.

‘There’s a child in here!’

Max exited the Tepee like an Olympic sprinter, clearly unhappy about the sudden appearance of the strange naked woman, I couldn’t empathise more. He went over to Stacy and buried himself in her midriff; I found I had the urge to do the same.

My Mum reappeared this time with shorts and a T shirt on as well, ‘Hello love,’ she said to me still obviously flustered. ‘It’s great to see you, but what are you doing here?’ she said as she hugged me. ‘Rob, clothes now!’ she barked at my dad who dutifully disappeared into the Tepee.

She smiled at Stacy, ‘We have heard absolutely nothing about you or your little man, typical Marky!’

Taking her cue Stacy said ‘Hi, I’m Stacy and this is Max.’ On hearing his name Max emerged from the under her arm as my dad reappeared from the Tepee, ‘Can I take my clothes off too Mum? I want to go in the pool.’

‘Is that OK?’ she asked.

‘Of course,’ my dad said. ‘This is the naturist part of the camp, it’s very discrete has its own shop as well. It’s very easy to simply forget you’re not wearing clothes, sorry if I offended you.’

‘No not at all,’ Stacy said. ‘We must have caught you unawares, turning up out of the blue like this?’

‘Well I have tried to warn Marky that he wouldn’t like it here in the summer, now you know why love,’ my mum said.

My dad added, ‘I’m glad you’re not bothered by it. In fact Stacy if you are too hot, feel free to…’

‘Dad!’ I shouted.  ‘For the love of God, do not finish that sentence. Ever!’

Chapter 34.

‘So, to what do we owe the honour?’ my dad asked.

‘I’ve got some news for you.’

‘You’re getting married!’ my mum yelled.

What? How on earth had she made the instant connection between “News” and “Married”? Even the up until that point unflappable Stacy looked taken aback by that one.

‘Are you going to be my Daddy?’ Max had asked form the swimming pool before I could say anything.

‘That’s wonderful!’ my mum continued, seemingly on roll now.

‘Linda.
..’ my dad said.

‘So have you fixed a date yet?’

‘Linda…’

‘Is Max…y’know...yours?’

‘Mum! Stop!’

There was a moments silence before Max, who seemed to consider any period of time without speaking as being an unnecessary waste said ‘I’d like that.’

I had been about to try and prevent my mum from embarrassing us all further but those three words from Max brought me to a sudden halt. Stacy reacted first my scooping Max up and saying ‘Ok buddy, let’s get you dry and stick some more sun cream on you. Don’t want you to get burnt do we?’ Max shook his head solemnly to show his agreement. ‘Can I take him in there?’ she asked indicating the Tepee.