Ivy and Bean Bound to Be Bad (7 page)

Kids were swarming around Pancake Court.

Dino stole one of Mrs. Trantz’s white rocks. Ivy begged him to stop, but he just stuck the rock in the exhaust pipe of Jake the Teenager’s car.

Sophie W. ripped a bunch of grass out of her lawn.

“Stop it,” Ivy pleaded, and Sophie obeyed. But a minute later she hid her baby sister’s shovel and pail in a bush.

“Look at me!” Bean hollered. She took off her sneakers and tried to throw them onto Mrs. Trantz’s roof. One bounced off the living room window and the other landed in the camellia bush. Bean was glad she hadn’t broken the
window, but she turned to Ivy and said, “Dang! I was trying to break the window.”

“Bean! Breaking windows is really bad!” cried Ivy. “You can’t do that! Reform!”

But Bean wasn’t listening. She whirled around, looking for another bad thing to do.

Ivy dropped down on her front lawn. She had been running back and forth between badnesses, but nobody was getting any better. Dino was stepping on ants. Sophie S. was rubbing dirt into her shirt. Liana was tying her mother’s hose in a knot. Bean was hanging upside down from the handrail on her front stairs. Sophie W. had swallowed her gum.

Ivy glanced up into the trees. Still no birds. Even the crows had flown away.

Bean sat down beside her. “I can’t think of anything else. Can you?”

“No.” Ivy looked around the yard for ideas. “Hey! A squirrel!” Ivy whispered, pointing at her hedge. “He’s looking at me!”

Inside the hedge, a little brown squirrel was sitting among the leaves. He was holding a strawberry in his tiny claws. Every few moments he lifted the berry to his mouth and tore it to bits with his chattering teeth. Little pieces of strawberry flew through the air, but he paid no attention. His bulging brown eyes were fixed on Ivy.

“He’s trying to tell me something with his eyes,” whispered Ivy, staring at the squirrel.

Bean nodded. “Cool.”

“He’s saying, ‘O pure one, I will follow you till the end of time because your heart is like a squirrel’s.’” Ivy stood and stepped toward the squirrel. “Greetings,” she whispered.

The squirrel leaped to its feet as though it had been stuck with a pin. Stuffing the rest of
the berry in its mouth, it scampered away.

Ivy frowned. She turned to Bean. “I’ve got it. Let’s pick a bunch of strawberries and squash them. That would be pretty bad.”

“Great idea!” said Bean.

Dino ran by, dragging a big branch behind him. “I’m worse than you!” he hollered over his shoulder at Bean.

“We’re going to touch Mr. Columbi’s car!” shrieked Sophie S. and Sophie W. Mr. Columbi was always telling them not to touch his car. He washed it two times a week with special soap. The two Sophies bounded toward Mr. Columbi’s driveway.

Liana was stuffing her mother’s welcome mat into her mailbox.

Bean looked up and down Pancake Court. What more could she do? The strawberries were squished, her sneakers were gone, she was sick to her stomach from candy, she had spit on Mrs. Trantz’s rose, and she had said the worst word in the world. She was pooped.

“These guys are ruining everything,” said Ivy, watching Dino scamper by with another branch.

“Ha-ha!” he shouted. “You’re just a good little girl.”

“Who asked you?” yelled Bean.

“You’re not even close to bad!” he yelled. “You don’t even know how to be bad! You’re GOOD!” Off he ran.

“You’re a stinky face!” Ivy hollered after him.

Then she turned to Bean. “Come on, Bean,” she urged. “Show him how bad you are.”

“I have an idea,” Bean said slowly.

Ivy smiled. “What is it?”

“It’s not enough to be bad myself,” Bean explained. “I think I have to do something bad to someone else.” She looked at Dino tearing around with his branch, and then she looked back at Ivy. “Where do you keep your hose?”

Ivy’s mom had one of those long hoses on a wheel. It was attached to the side of Ivy’s house. The two girls carefully unwound it from the wheel.

Ivy went around and stood in front of Dino’s house. “Hey, you guys!” she called. “Bean’s about to be really bad!” Dino, the Sophies, and Liana looked up from their own badness. “You’d better come here and sit down,” Ivy said. “You’re going to want to see this one up close.”

The kids walked toward Ivy. “What’s she going to do?” asked Dino.

“I can’t even say it.” Ivy made her eyes big. “I’ve begged her not to do it, but she just can’t help herself,” she said, shaking her head. “You should sit down on the curb and watch.”

Dino and the girls exchanged glances. Then they slowly sat down on the curb in front of Dino’s house.

“Is she going to drive her dad’s car?” asked Liana.

“You have to wait and see,” said Ivy, smiling mysteriously.

“Aw, come on,” said Dino. “Is she going to blow something up?”

“Sort of,” said Ivy, smiling even more mysteriously. “You guys just close your eyes for a few minutes, and then you’ll see.”

“Why do we have to close our eyes?” Sophie W. asked.

“It’s like before the movie begins. It has to be dark for the surprise to work,” Ivy said.

They looked at Ivy suspiciously.

“Come on. Just for a few minutes,” said Ivy. “If Bean’s going to get in all this trouble, you can at least close your eyes. I’ll tell you when to open them.”

Dino looked at the girls and shrugged.

“Okay,” said Sophie S.

They closed their eyes. Ivy tiptoed away.

“They’ve got their eyes closed, but we’d better be quick,” Ivy said.

Running across lawns to keep their steps silent, Ivy and Bean carried the hose from Ivy’s driveway to Dino’s. Luckily, Dino’s faucet was in the same place as Ivy’s. They screwed the hose into it, and Bean ran tiptoe down the driveway toward the row of kids on the curb. Ivy stood at the faucet, waiting.

With the hose in her hand, Bean walked quietly toward the curb until she was standing right behind Dino. “Hey Dino!” she said softly, holding her
hand over the end of the hose, “You can open your eyes now.”

Ivy twisted the faucet on.

Dino opened his eyes and turned around. And Bean blasted him right in the kisser. “AAAAAH!” he screeched, jumping up. “Not so boring now, is it?” laughed Bean. The hose waggled in her hand.

“Hey!” roared Liana. “Bean!” squawked Sophie W. and Sophie S.

Uh-oh. Bean hadn’t meant to get them wet.

“Your turn!” yelled Liana, yanking the slippery hose from Bean’s hand.

“Yeah!” screamed Sophie S.

“Get her!” hollered Dino.

Bean could hear Ivy yelling in the distance. “I beg you, Bean, stop spraying those poor, innocent children.”

“I’m not spraying them,” Bean hollered. “They’re spraying me!” She whirled around and tried to make a break for it, but before she had taken two steps, she slammed into a giant wall.

Oops. It wasn’t a wall.

It was Crummy Matt.