Ivy Secrets (16 page)

Charlie laughed and rolled onto her side. “It’s supposed to be our day to be one with nature,” she called.

“Screw nature,” Marina muttered. “I am going to take a shower. Are you working breakfast this morning?”

“No. Dinner tonight.”

Charlie heard Marina move around, grab a towel from the closet that separated their rooms, and head out the door. She lay back and thought about Vance. Was he really who she wanted? Did she find him appealing? Well, maybe. Sexy? Not exactly. Still, his father was a U.S. congressman and that idea was pretty attractive. She wondered how long she could delay sleeping with him.

It wasn’t as though she was a virgin. She closed her eyes again and pictured Wayne, the boy back home, the boy she’d thought she loved. She had been sixteen, hormones racing toward womanhood, and Wayne was—well, Wayne was there.

They went steady during her junior year of high school, and by summer they were making awkward love whenever and wherever possible: in the back of his pickup under a rough blanket; at his aunt’s cottage on Lake Erie when she was away; in the back room of his father’s auto repair shop late at night. A dozen times in all, maybe more. And though Charlie loved Wayne and liked the sex well enough, something was lacking. For Charlie knew a life with Wayne would be a life like her mother’s, and Charlie wanted more. When she received early acceptance to Smith, she knew it would happen. She broke off with Wayne and vowed to change her life. Now that she had, Charlie found she didn’t know all the rules.

Following a loud knock on the door of the suite, Tess entered dressed in corduroys and a blazer, looking very Smith-like. Charlie still could not get used to Tess’s new look. “It’s Mountain Day,” her friend said.

“I heard.” Charlie waved her hand in the air as though trying to capture the sounds of the bells.

“Shall we?” Tess asked.

“Shall we what?”

“Take off. We could go up to the Summit House. Or over to Look Park.”

“Let’s not and say we did.”

Tess sat on the edge of the bed. “How was your date last night?”

“Not bad. I think I’ll see him again. He’s a senior at Amherst. I asked him if he knew Peter, but I couldn’t remember Peter’s last name.”

Tess stood up. “They probably don’t know each other. Peter isn’t in a frat house.”

“Maybe we could double some time. Me with Vance. You with Peter.”

Tess moved to Charlie’s bureau and fiddled with the black wood frame that held the photo of Charlie’s parents. “Maybe.” She turned back toward the bed. “Is Marina up? Maybe I can talk her into doing something today.”

“She’s in the shower. But I doubt she’ll want to go to the Summit House.”

“Oh, right, I forgot. Well, maybe we can do something else. Maybe we can go shopping.”

Just then Marina returned, one towel wrapped around her head, another around her tiny body. “Did someone say shopping?”

“Yeah,” Tess said. “It’s Mountain Day. Let’s commune with nature on Main Street. I need some new clothes.”

Marina eyed Tess. “Looks to me like you already have a new wardrobe.”

“A girl can never have enough clothes.”

Marina frowned at Charlie. “Is this the same Tess Richards who lived in one sweatshirt her entire freshman year?”

Tess stiffened. “If you don’t want to go, fine. Just say so.”

“No. It might be fun. We can dress you up, then maybe your boyfriend will take you out.”

Charlie pulled herself from her bed, hating that the friction between Marina and Tess did not seem to subside, wishing there was something she could do to change it. “Why don’t the three of us go?” she suggested. “You two can shop, and I’ll watch you spend money.”

“Maybe you’ll find something, too,” Tess said.

“Are you kidding? I have to stretch what’s left of my allowance until the end of the semester. Which will be barely enough to buy panty hose to wear under my cashmere dress.”

“I’ll throw on some clothes and signal Nicholas that we are leaving,” Marina said.

“Maybe Nicholas will help me pick out something great,” Tess said.

“Nicholas is a frumpy old man,” Marina said, heading into her room, “so his taste should be close to yours.”

Tess planted her hands on her hips, but before she could say anything, Charlie intervened. “Let it go, Tess,” she whispered. “I think Marina’s having a tough time this year.”

Tess looked at her, then back to the doorway that separated the rooms. “Fucking princess,” she muttered.

    In less than an hour and a half, Tess managed to spend almost five hundred dollars—twice as much money as Charlie had left to live on for three months. Marina spent a couple of hundred dollars on two sweaters that Charlie knew Marina didn’t need, or judging by the gloomy expression on her face, particularly want. Charlie could tell that Marina was depressed, but she didn’t know how to help. Being a princess with wealth and beauty hardly seemed like a reason to be depressed.

As they headed back up Main Street toward the campus, Tess turned around and shouted back at Nicholas. “Hey, Nick, we need to make one more quick stop. “Okay with you?”

The man nodded, expressionless.

“Haven’t you spent all your money yet?” Charlie asked.

“I have to stop at Dell’s,” Tess told her, without looking at Marina. “She has a book I ordered.”

“By all means,” Marina snarled. “The semester would not have a proper beginning without a visit to the woman who ruined my life.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Tess asked as she abruptly stopped walking. “You barely know Dell.”

Marina turned her head away from Nicholas’s earshot. “I know that she must have had something to do with convincing Viktor to leave me. If she couldn’t have him, she made damned sure that I wouldn’t either.”

Charlie was stunned.
So this
was the reason Marina had been so bitchy with Tess. She blamed Dell Brooks for Viktor’s leaving; and she was angry at Tess for being Dell’s friend.

“Oh, Marina,” Tess said. “Grow up. You’re a princess, for godssake. You’ve got a lot more going for you than a woman as old as my mother.”

Marina looked squarely at Tess. “You are right,” she said simply, and turned the corner toward the bookshop.
Charlie looked at Tess; Tess looked at Charlie, then they followed Marina down the side street, with Nicholas Furman bringing up the rear.

    Dell was arranging a display of British history books on the counter. An odd-looking, wiry young man was seated on one of the wrought-iron chairs, moving his body back and forth, clutching a well-worn rag doll. Dell looked up at the sound of the bell.

“Good morning, girls. Welcome back.” She studied Tess a moment, then gave a half smile. “Tess, good God, you look quite … different.”

Tess grinned. The odd-looking young man grinned, too. “It’s the new me, Dell. My mother got her claws into me this summer.”

“Well,” Dell remarked, “you do look more like your mother now, that’s for sure.”

Charlie noticed Tess’s smile vanish.

“That’s for sure,” giggled the odd-looking man.

Dell motioned to him. “Girls, meet Willie,” she said. “Willie likes to visit me. He can’t read but he says he likes my dolls.”

“Hey, Willie,” Tess said.

Charlie nodded at this guy whose clothes were too big and whose hair needed washing. Marina disappeared down one of the aisles of books.

Willie stared at Charlie. “You have very pretty hair,” he said.

Charlie’s hand went to her head.

“That’s for sure,” Willie said again, and resumed his rocking motion. “Very pretty hair, that’s for sure.”

Charlie averted her eyes. Willie’s beady eyes made her nervous; his rancid breath made her ill.

He rocked on his chair. “What’s your name?” he asked.

Charlie walked to a table and leafed through a copy of
Rolling Stone.

“I said, ‘What’s your name?’ ” Willie called out.

She turned the pages of the magazine. “Charlie.”

“Charlie?” he twittered. “That’s not a girl’s name. That’s a boy’s name. Why do you have a boy’s name? My name is Willie. It’s a boy’s name, too.”

She stared at a page of the magazine, trying to ignore his chatter.

“Do you drive a car?” he asked. “Do you drive a car?”

Charlie shook her head, hoping that would shut him up.

“Willie,” Dell interrupted, “that’s enough.”

“I don’t like cars,” he jabbered. “I don’t like cars at all. You’ll never catch me riding in a car, no siree. Not me. Never.”

Tess glanced at Willie and rolled her eyes. “Do you have my book?” she asked Dell.

“You bet.” Moving to the cash register, Dell pulled out a flat bag from beneath the counter and handed it to Tess. Charlie noticed that Nicholas had moved to within grabbing distance of Willie.

Tess handed Dell a ten-dollar bill.

“Stop back and tell me how your summer was,” Dell said. Charlie didn’t have to ask why Dell didn’t want to discuss it now: she wouldn’t be surprised if Dell was as uncomfortable having Marina—and the lurking bodyguard—in her store as Marina was in being there.

Tess turned to leave. “You can come out now, Marina,” she called. “We’re leaving.”

Charlie closed her eyes and shook her head. She would have to talk to Tess again about going easy on the princess. She stepped gingerly past odd-looking Willie and followed Tess out of the shop.

    The following week, Charlie was preparing for a Tom Rush concert at UMass that Vance had invited her to. Charlie was glad it wasn’t anywhere fancier: it was still too early for her cashmere or Ultrasuede, and her wardrobe sadly had little else that looked good. For UMass, jeans and a sweater were fine: the jeans were hers, the raspberry sweater she borrowed from Marina.

Once again, she had dressed early and walked to the Quad to meet him. She wondered what she would do once the snow began. Trudging across campus in a blizzard to wait for her date seemed rather absurd.

During intermission she and Vance squished between throngs of kids in the lobby. It was difficult to talk: the noise was deafening.

“Go outside for a smoke?” Vance asked Charlie.

She was surprised; she didn’t know Vance smoked.

She followed him onto the steps of the auditorium. From his jacket pocket, Vance pulled a small plastic bag. Inside were two thin cigarettes, the tips slightly twisted.

“Joint?” Vance asked.

Oh, Charlie thought. A joint. Marijuana. Grass. She’d yet to be tempted; there were bigger things on Charlie O’Brien’s mind than getting high. She didn’t like the thought of sidestepping reality. It was probably why she didn’t even like to drink.

But, then again, Vance’s father was a U.S. congressman. A little bit of dope couldn’t be as bad as sleeping with him on the first date. Besides, it might help her relax, and stop her from daydreaming about white satin and lace and a Washington wedding and a brownstone in the city and a country home in Virginia. After all, she still wasn’t sure if she even liked Vance.

They went behind the concrete stairs, where other clusters of kids huddled together, a sweet-smelling cloud rising above them. Vance lit one of the cigarettes and inhaled deeply. He handed Charlie the joint.

She looked at it a second, then quickly put it between her lips. She wouldn’t have to take a deep drag; Vance wouldn’t know. She sucked in a stream of smoke, turned her head, and exhaled. She gave the joint back to Vance.

Beside them stood two girls in black leather. Charlie watched them share a joint. They made it look easy. Then one of them laughed and put her arm around the other. Charlie watched as the other girl leaned over and planted a kiss squarely on the girl’s lips. Charlie tried not to react. She glanced at Vance. He inhaled deeply again, apparently oblivious to what was happening. She stole another peek. This time the girl kissed her friend deeply, fully, and Charlie bet that behind their mouths their tongues were touching. Discomfort flowed through her: her head felt light, she couldn’t bring her thoughts into focus. She forced herself to look back at Vance. From the corner of her eye, she saw the couple leave.

“Vance,” she asked softly, “how can you tell if a girl is a lesbian?” She couldn’t believe she’d just asked him that. It must have, she reasoned, been the pot.

“Well,” Vance said thoughtfully as he studied the deep red tip of the joint and handed it back to Charlie. She took another quick puff and blew out the smoke. “Their hair is usually short,” he said.

“What else?” Charlie asked. She wanted to know.

“They wear black a lot, I guess. Jesus, Charlie, how the hell do I know?”

Charlie shrugged. “I just wondered.” She took another small puff on the joint.”

“I know they don’t like guys,” Vance said. “They usually don’t even go out with guys. I think they lie about it a lot,” he added. “You know, like they try to cover it up.”

An image of Tess flashed into her mind. Charlie gasped and inadvertently inhaled. She choked on the smoke and tried to talk herself out of thinking what she was thinking.

    After the concert, Charlie said she had a headache. She stepped inside the foyer of Laura Scales House and waved good-bye to Vance. When his car was safely out of sight, she quickly darted out of the building and sneaked out of the Quad. She felt ridiculous doing this. From now on, Charlie vowed, she would tell her dates to pick her up at Morris House. If they didn’t like it, tough. There were more important things on her mind than dope-smoking sons of congressmen.

As she crossed the campus she quickened her pace and hoped that Marina would be in, and that she’d be awake. Because Charlie had to talk to her about Tess.

    Marina was sitting on her bed, books spread around her. “How was the concert?” she asked as Charlie stepped into the room.

“Okay.” She pulled off her coat and threw it on Marina’s chair. “I’ve got to ask you something.”

Marina rubbed her eyes. “Is it more important than Chaucer? I have a world lit test Monday.”

“Yes. It’s about Tess.”

Marina chuckled. “I am sure Chaucer would be disappointed to hear your opinion.”

“This is serious, Marina. Do you think …” Charlie began,
hating herself for the words she was about to say, “Do you think that Tess is … a lesbian?”