Jackal's Dance (35 page)

James Fulton, sitting next to Felicity, rose and excused himself. ‘It was a pleasure to meet you,' he told Gayle. ‘I've always admired your work.'

Gayle inclined her head graciously. ‘Thank you.'

Mal, across the table, checked his watch. Nine-thirty. He'd wait fifteen minutes before following.

Mal had been dismayed to discover that the bungalows allocated to himself and James were so far apart. He was in number four while James had been shown to bungalow two. The Schmidt family lay between them. Because the lodge emphasised guest privacy, accommodation units were a minimum of fifty metres apart. The risk of being seen sneaking to or from each other was heightened by two more bungalows set further back. An encounter with other guests was always a possibility.

He considered going straight to bed. His friend was already paranoid about people guessing. Mal rejected the idea. Still on a high from the game drive and time spent in the hide, he wanted to talk about it with someone who was just as impressed. Americans, he knew, were often regarded as innocents abroad. Maybe they were.
So what?
It would be nice to be innocent or gauche with someone
equally as inexperienced about Africa.
Get real
! The reason for wanting to talk was less about sharing with a fellow American and more about comparing notes with his partner.
Only gays would try and justify everything
, Mal thought sourly.
Why can't I behave normally? I want to be with James because I want to be with James. There's nothing complicated about it. Do I care what any of these people think? I shouldn't. Why does life have to be so goddamned difficult?

‘Is your friend unwell?' Gayle asked.

‘Just tired. It's the fresh air. I might turn in as well.'

She'd guessed. The look in her eyes told him that. Of course she had, not surprising really. Many actors were gay. Someone like Gayle Gaynor would have no trouble picking it. Her companion probably knew as well. Mal searched her face and found nothing but understanding.

He had no idea what made him do it, sheer defiance maybe. Mal leaned towards her and said softly, ‘I want to come out. James doesn't.'
Why the hell am I telling her this? James will kill me.

Gayle smiled sympathetically. ‘What's stopping him?' She lowered her voice. ‘He's a beautiful man.'

Mal couldn't hide his pride. ‘He is. In every respect. But he worries all the time about what others will think.'

Gayle nodded. ‘I know a thing or two about the opinions of others. Don't give a damn any more.' She shrugged. ‘That's a lie, of course. I'm just good at pretending. Try not to force the issue. If you make him come out before he's ready it will ruin your relationship.'

He glanced at others nearby but all were deep in their own conversations. ‘I'm not a patient man, that's most of the trouble. I know you're right but it's difficult.'

‘If you love him, you can do it.' Gayle sipped her wine and leaned against Matt. The conversation, as far as she was concerned, was over.

Matt had taken no part in it. Not that he had a problem with gays. He'd worked with many, numbered several as close friends and tended to take the view that, as with everyone else, there were good and bad homosexuals. He was, however, quite astonished that twice in one day Gayle had allowed strangers into her heart.
Must be something in the African night air
, he thought, glad that she'd insisted on this trip. Gayle seemed relaxed and the company was good. She wasn't drinking as much this evening. They were both enjoying it.

Chester and Kalila played out a charade that fooled no-one. She said in a fairly loud voice, ‘I'd better get back to the camp site.'

Chester was immediately on his feet. ‘I'll walk with you. Guests are not supposed to wander around on their own after dark.'

‘Thank you. Goodnight everyone.'

They left the dining room to a chorus of farewells.

No-one commented, but most knew that the camp site path was directly opposite to the direction they took.

Once outside, Chester sought Kalila's hand. ‘Great night.'

‘Beautiful.'

‘Shall we make it even more beautiful?'

Kalila did not reply for the simple reason that her heart had suddenly jumped to her throat. They walked in silence towards the rangers' quarters. At his door, Chester backed her against the wall and leaned forward. Their lips met. Her arms reached around his neck, his encircled her waist. Within seconds their bodies were pressed tightly together and passion flared immediately. Kalila felt his tongue explore her mouth. Traditional Zulus don't kiss. The mouth is for eating. But Kalila was a modern woman who enjoyed kissing. She had never experienced anything like this, though. Chester's probing tongue sent shivers right through her. He pulled back a little, running his lips down her throat to find firm jutting breasts. Kalila could feel his arousal through their clothes. Her hands sought him.

‘Wait,' he whispered huskily.

Managing to make it inside, and still pressed together, they shuffled slowly into the dark room. The fly screen banged behind them and Chester kicked his door shut. He didn't bother turning on the light.

His hands found the buttons of her blouse. He peeled it off. Kalila did the same with Chester's shirt, feeling hard muscular arms under her fingers and the disfiguration of a tribal scar on his right shoulder blade. Her mouth sought his nipples and he groaned. She felt him trying to undo her bra and put both hands back to help. The lacy fabric gone,
he held her hands where they were while his lips investigated her breasts. Kalila leaned back and let him explore. But desire overtook them both. Frantically fumbling with the buttons and zips of each other's trousers, they got nowhere until, by some unspoken mutual understanding each took care of their own. Shoes and socks followed. In nothing more than underpants, Chester folded her close for a long, passionate kiss before leading her to his bed.

‘Condom,' Kalila whispered, as he leaned over her.

He groaned, then turned and opened a drawer next to the bed. Kalila heard a scrabble of fingers searching, the rustle of wrapping, felt the mattress move as he removed his underpants. It was pitch dark in the room but she heard him opening the packet. The bed creaked as he turned back to her, his hands warm as they explored. He hooked fingers into the elastic of her panties and she raised herself so he could pull them down.

His lips and tongue caressed her belly, thighs and finally, when she could hardly bear to wait a moment longer, found the heart of her sensuality until she was wild with desire. ‘I want you inside me,' she whispered, her breathing ragged.

Chester ran his lips up her body, stopping briefly at both breasts before travelling to meet her mouth in a long, drawn-out kiss. Slowly he entered her, moving deeper and deeper. Kalila was so swept away, the fact that he wasn't wearing a condom didn't register.

It wasn't until he withdrew that she realised.
‘Oh my God! It came off.' She was still on a sexual high, reluctant to face the inescapable truth that her inner thighs were sticky with semen. ‘Chester, the condom came off.'

‘No it didn't.'

His low whisper in her ear set off an involuntary shudder but she knew the obvious problem had to be sorted out. Kalila carried several morning after pills in her toilet bag, not because she expected to use them on the field trip, but because she hadn't seen the point in removing them. She had to get back to her tent and take one. ‘Put the light on. Please. I have to get dressed.'

‘Stay the night.'

‘Chester, the condom came off. I need to take a pill.'

He kissed her shoulder. ‘It didn't come off. I didn't use one.'

His words were a slap in the face. ‘You what?'

Chester reached out, snapped on the bedside light and turned back to her. ‘I never use them.' There was no trace of guilt, no apology. He was stating a fact and expecting her acceptance.

Kalila couldn't believe it. He'd deceived her, betrayed her trust. The decision not to wear protection was not his to take. ‘How dare you? What if I fall pregnant?'

‘You won't.'

‘How can you say that? I've only just met you. You have no idea what my cycle is.'

‘Listen to me, Kalila. You won't get pregnant, I promise.'

‘I don't believe this.'

‘If you give me a minute, I'll explain. Everything is fine.' His hand found the light switch and darkness returned. She felt his arms slide around her. ‘A few years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. As it turned out, the tumour was benign. They only found out after removing my prostate gland. In other words, I shoot blanks. You won't get pregnant.'

His lips found hers. Kalila was helpless to prevent herself reciprocating. As soon as she could, she had to ask, ‘What about AIDS?'

Chester's response perfectly reflected the reason why HIV is so prevalent in Africa. ‘How can I have AIDS? I only have sex with women.'

Kalila had held the same opinion until her medical student boyfriend set the record straight. To try and explain to Chester that he ran a terrible risk would, she knew, be a waste of breath. Until African men could sever their mental connection between manliness and unprotected sex, the virus would continue to flourish. Despite her knowledge of World Health Organisation evidence that eighty per cent of all new cases of AIDS came from heterosexual encounters, Kalila was still inclined to blame drug addicts and homosexuals for spreading the disease. Besides, she wanted to believe Chester. ‘Are you sure?'

His mouth found hers again.
‘Tula wena.'
He shushed her in her own language then kissed her deeply. ‘You are so beautiful,' Chester whispered, brushing her lips with his own.

Kalila responded. She knew it was crazy but couldn't help herself.
It'll be okay
, she thought.

The light was still on. Sean tapped at the fly screen of number six.

‘Come in.' Thea sat on the bed, hands folded in her lap, face expressionless.

He closed the door and waited, watching for some sign. The earlier desperation had gone. ‘Gayle said you might want to talk.'

‘Yes. I wanted . . . I thought . . . You deserve . . .' She broke off and looked away. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. ‘You probably need to know that I'm okay.'

Sean indicated an armchair. ‘Mind if I sit down? You look better.'

Thea rubbed a hand across her eyes. ‘Please, and yes, I feel a bit more human, thanks to Gayle.'

‘That woman's amazing. What did she say?'

‘Not much really. Just put everything together and made me face facts.'

‘And from the inside looking out, how do things seem now?'

‘Bit of a mess. Nothing that can't be fixed.'

He thought she meant Billy. ‘You'd go back to him?'

Thea shook her head. ‘I wanted to tell you . . . This afternoon, you and I. Well, I don't blame you. I actually want to say thank you.' She looked down, blushing. ‘You were there when I needed help. You always have been.'

Sean ached to hold her but forced himself to
stay where he was. ‘What are you going to do, Thea?'

She looked back at him. ‘I've been thinking about that. As soon as the lodge closes I'll go home.'

‘And then?' He didn't want her to leave.

‘I'm having a baby, Sean. By my reckoning I've got five months to think about the future. One thing at a time. I'll stay with my parents. When the baby's born I should have some idea of my next move.'

He had to ask. ‘And Billy?'

‘Divorce.' It came out flatly. The word hung between them.

‘No chance of –'

‘None.'

Sean was carefully watching her face.

Thea shrugged. ‘There's so much to work out. I know you have feelings for me. What can I tell you, Sean? You deserve answers and I can't give them. I'm sorry.'

‘It's okay. I understand. The only person you should be thinking about right now is yourself.'

‘You feel like a friend.' Thea went on as if he hadn't spoken. ‘I like you. Even before today, I felt we were connected, our souls somehow compatible. The thought of anything else never crossed my mind. Now that it has, it's too new and there are too many other things to think about. But I want you to know that even if I can't say yes, I'm not saying no either. It's the best I can do.'

It was too much for him. Sean approached the
bed, folded himself to the floor at her feet and looked up. ‘I can wait. It's true that I love you. But, like you said, one thing at a time. Your priority is to get through the next few days. I'll be there if you need me. So long as you know that you don't have to be alone.' He put a hand out and patted hers. ‘If anything is to come of you and me, it will be at your speed. I promise you that.' He squeezed her hands gently and joked, ‘I'm a very patient man. Just have the answer on my desk by dawn tomorrow.'

It worked. She smiled. ‘You don't have a desk.'

‘Yes I do. Third palm tree on the right.'

The smile grew. ‘Oh that desk. The one with the resident lion?'

‘That's the one.'

Thea lay a hand on his shoulder. ‘Thank you,' she said, stifling an unexpected yawn. ‘God! I'm sorry. How rude.'

‘That's okay. I always try to make riveting company.' He grinned up at her. ‘Bedtime for you, my girl.'

She nodded.

He went to say something, changed his mind, and stood. ‘I'll see you tomorrow. Remember, if you need anything, just holler.' As he let himself out he blew her a kiss, receiving a spontaneous smile in return. ‘Slowly,' he reminded himself, walking towards the lodge.

When Sean reappeared, heading for the bar, Caitlin excused herself from the Riekerts and Schmidts.

She found him helping himself to a beer. ‘How is she?'