Jackpot! (13 page)

“Sorry, I thought you were looking for a word for yourself,” he joked.

“I just don’t trust guys like that.” And that was the end of the conversation.

Lucy Chi ended up marrying the guy. Currently, she’s pregnant with twins.

“Okay, fine,” I said to Drew, “I was wrong about Lucy Chi’s husband. But there are a lot of jerks out there.”

“And there are a lot of really great guys, too. Like me!”

God, he was cute! But he wasn’t marriage material. He wasn’t polished. Or ambitious. And he wasn’t Jewish. Ma would hate him, I kept thinking. But I didn’t hate him. I liked him. And now, I needed him. And as sad as it was to say, I needed his sperm. I wanted to kill my mother right now. I wanted to shout, “How could you do this to me?!”

But then I had a really nice thought. I realized right then, if Drew did end up getting me pregnant, and if I did have his baby, I wouldn’t only get Frankie’s money, but I’d get sweet revenge, as well, because if Drew was the father of my child, he would be in our lives forever. Frankie would have to see him all the time! That was the silver lining.

“So, how about you, Drew? Have you ever been in love?”

“Twice. My first love was Mrs. Lefler, my fourth grade math teacher, and the second was Monica McGrath.” He paused for a second to reflect. “She broke my heart.”

A girl breaking his heart? I couldn’t even imagine, but he looked really somber at this moment. “Tell me about Ms. McGrath,” I said.

“Actually, I was talking about Mrs. Lefler,” he joked, “She wasn’t that much older than me, you know. I was nine, she was twenty-five or so. It could have worked.”

As I sat here laughing, I felt like I was out to dinner with a good friend. “So seriously, tell me about Monica,” I said.

When Drew responded to the question by chugging his martini, I knew it was going to be a bad story. He began, “Monica and I met at a bar several years ago, and we dated for awhile. We were getting pretty serious. I mean, I went nuts over this girl.”

“That sounds pretty good so far,” I said.

“It was.” He then took a deep breath before continuing, “Then I introduced her to my family. My dad and my brother.”

Silence. It seemed as if Drew couldn’t even go on.

“Oh, I get it,” I said, “They didn’t get along with her.”

Drew let out a fake laugh. “Actually, it was just the opposite.” He took a big chug of his drink. “Monica and my dad hit it off a little too well, and…they ended up getting married.”

“What?” I asked in disbelief.

Drew just nodded and smiled sadly.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? I mean, I knew you then, right?”

“Yeah. I think it happened right before I started at the station. I kept it to myself. It was just really personal. And embarrassing.”

“I’m really sorry,” I said softly.

“Thanks. I’m cool with it. They’re still together so I guess they’re really in love.”

“Can I order another drink?” I asked. Then, as if we were on cue, we both just burst out laughing. The two of us laughed and laughed for a long time. And it felt really good. And I think it felt good for Drew, too.

After we were able to control our laughing attacks, I said, “I still can’t believe you’ve never said anything about her, in all the time we’ve known each other. Is that the reason you never have girlfriends?”

“I have girlfriends.”

“Yeah, for like a week at the most. You’re like my brother. He’s a commitment-phobe too.”

“I’m not a commitment-phobe.”

“Drew…”

“Yeah?”

“I wish you would have told me,” I said.

“It’s okay,” he said, looking right at me with a grin.

I put my hand on his. This was the best first date I’d had in years. I’d gone into this for sex, a baby and eight million dollars, never expecting to really enjoy the person I was using to get it all.

Then, just as I was about to suggest that we go back to my place, Drew pulled his hand away and began to hold his stomach. My first thought was that the story he’d just told me upset him so much, that he was going to be sick. Seconds later, he looked like he was in pain.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine.” He was unconvincing. “Can I ask you something, Jamie?”

“Sure.”

“Why are you here with me? I mean, why now, after all this time are you interested in me?” he asked.

“How do you know I’m interested in you? Maybe I just wanted a free dinner,” I joked in an attempt not to blow my cover.

Drew smiled at my humor, but wouldn’t give up. “Seriously. Tell me. Why now?”

I started to panic. What was I going to say? Lucky for me, I didn’t have to say anything because Drew started to hold his stomach again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

He stood up. “Actually, no!” Then he ran from the table and made a b-line straight for the men’s room. I didn’t want him to be sick, but I was hoping he wouldn’t be back for a few minutes, so I could have time to make up a lie.

Chapter 13

In my opinion, food poisoning is the number one excuse to get out of a date. It’s the perfect illness to get when you need a quick exit from a bad situation. It comes on quickly and doesn’t last for more than twenty-four hours, so if you run into the girl or any of her friends the next night, there’s no reason for them not to believe you’re feeling back to normal and well enough to be out. I shared my theory with Jamie when she told me Drew got food poisoning and had to leave the restaurant the night before.

“I really don’t think he was faking,” she responded.

“Then why didn’t YOU get food poisoning, too?” I asked her.

“We ate different things,” she explained, “I had tilapia, he had Kobe beef. I’ve heard of a lot of people getting sick from that.”

The two of us were sitting cross-legged on the wood floor in the middle of our mother’s almost empty condo. There was barely any furniture left in her place, as Ma was executing her other post lottery winning plan; re-decorating her condo. She had hired a decorator and earlier in the week, the two of them had bought several floor samples from various furniture stores around Chicago. So, all new furniture was being delivered from
Ethan Allen, Macy’s,
and
Walter E Smithe.

As Jamie and I talked about the specifics of what Kobe beef really is, we could hear Ma talking on the phone in the kitchen.

“I’m interested in the Royal Ruby Metallic,” she was saying.

“What’s she talking about?” asked Jamie.

“No clue.”

Ma spoke again. “Well, what colors do you have in stock?”

“It sounds like she’s buying a car!” Jamie exclaimed.

“I am,” answered Ma, as she burst into the room, the phone still up to her ear. “Sorry,” she said into the phone, “I was talking to my children. What were you saying? I heard Golden Almond Metallic and Black something.”

When I saw my mother walk in, I couldn’t believe it. She looked almost transformed. Dressed in high heels and a very expensive looking suit, she strutted across the room with confidence, showing off her brand new look. Her hair was different, she had more make up on than usual, and she had this air about her that was filled with self-pride.

Don’t get me wrong. Frankie had always been a pretty woman, especially when she was younger. And even as she was aging, she had always stayed thin, and she had always kept herself looking good. She didn’t overdo it, didn’t wear a lot of make-up, didn’t buy expensive clothes, and wasn’t into plastic surgery (unlike most of her friends) but she always looked nice. Ma was naturally pretty. She didn’t have to try. And she would always say, “The women who have money to burn are the ones who look the best.” Now, Frankie Jacobson was a woman who had money to burn and it showed. Nevertheless, as shocked as I was about her appearance, I had to admit she looked pretty damn good.

“Ma, what’s the deal? New hair? New clothes?” I asked her.

Frankie put her hand over the mouthpiece. “Shhh, give me a second,” she scolded. Then her hand came off the mouthpiece and she resumed her conversation. “Golden Almond Metallic sounds pretty. I’d like to see that one.”

“You’re buying a car?” I asked.

Frankie nodded as she wrapped things up. “That sounds great. I’ll see you tomorrow at nine?”

Now I was flipping out. “Ma!”

“Shhh!”

“Thank you very much,” she said, ending the call, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Hi kids. Get up. I can’t bend down to kiss you.”

Both Jamie and I obliged.

“What are you buying?” Jamie asked.

“A Lexus,” Frankie said proudly.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I can,” she answered, sounding annoyed.

“You look so beautiful,” said Jamie, “Your hair…”

“Your suit…” I added.

Frankie modeled her new look by giving us a quick twirl. “You like it? It’s Chanel.” Then she brushed the palm of her hand by the bottom of her bob. “And I got my hair done at
Elizabeth Arden.”
She said
Elizabeth Arden
like it was our first time hearing it.

“You look nice, Ma,” I smiled, “You really do.”

“How’s the baby-making coming along?” Frankie asked, “Any news yet?”

“Ma, it’s only been a couple weeks!” Jamie answered.

Just then, Frankie’s phone rang again. She looked at the caller ID.

“I need to take this. Tiffany’s…” Then she answered, “Hello? Yes, this is Frankie Jacobson. Thank you for returning my call.” She continued her conversation while she walked out of the room again.

Jamie and I sat back down on the floor. Now I was completely bugged.

“Why are we bothering to try to have kids?” I said loudly, in hopes my mother would hear, “she’s going to spend it all!”

“Do you remember when grandma first moved in with us?” Jamie asked me.

“How could I forget?”

“Nice attitude.”

“Sorry. Yes, I remember. Why?”

“I was pretty young and I don’t really remember our lives before grandma moved in. But I do remember something very clearly; you, me, and grandma sitting on the couch…grandma in the middle… and she would be scratching both of our backs at the same time.”

The memory of this made me grin. “Yeah, I remember that.”

“And mom wasn’t around that much. Where was she?”

“She was working.”

“That’s my point,” said my sister, “She was working all the time. Think about it, Danny. She ran the gift basket business out of our basement, and she also worked for Dr. Schneider. Cut the woman some slack. She’s struggled for money her whole life. Now it’s time for her to spend HER money and enjoy it.”

I realized my sister was right. The woman who had started and maintained a gift basket business out of our house, who was also a receptionist in a dentist’s office, all to support us financially and to be able to send us to college, truly deserved the money she’d won.

“Look,” I replied, “I’m happy for our nouveau riche mother. But I still strongly object to her using her new money to bribe us and ruin our lives.”

“How’s that going for you?”

“Well, I’m totally into this girl and wouldn’t you know, she can’t have kids.”

“Really?”

“Ironic, huh?”

“I’m actually more surprised that you just said you’re into a girl,” said my sister.

“I know. I can’t believe it either.”