Jaded (17 page)

Once she arrived at the house, she entered cautiously, still wary of being caught off-guard by Luke. She struggled to choreograph their locations so that she could avoid excessive encounters that might lead either one of them to fall back into their routine. As she hung her dress in the front closet, she heard a commotion from somewhere nearby. She followed the noise into the backyard, where the workers were gathered in a circle, shouting and pumping their fists into the air.

It took her a moment to realize that it wasn’t a pep rally or some other bizarre time-out. There was a fight going on, the guys swarming like gamblers watching a cock fight, egging on whatever dispute was taking place in the middle.

“Holy hell,” she muttered, cautiously approaching the scene. She could guess how rowdy a team of ten construction crewmembers could get, especially if they’d been sipping at her beer during break. She hung back, unsure whether or not she should intervene, and was desperately hoping Luke would appear and take care of the situation.

She heard generic shouts of anger, a few slaps, and then Luke’s voice pierced the air.

“Enough!”

The guys watching grew quiet, but the two in the middle weren’t done with each other. Isabella saw another punch fly, and then Luke sprang from the side and pulled one of the guys away, arm firmly locked around his neck. There was some resistance, a scramble, and then, once the tension had died down, Luke released him.

“Get...back...to work,” he said succinctly, staring down the two men who had been fighting.

One of them growled, pushing back the sleeves of his shirt. The other one wiped a smear of blood from his face and strutted away. Tranquility resumed, and Luke came toward the back door, eyes fastened to the ground.

“What was that?” she asked when Luke passed by.

“Nothing.” He kept walking.

“Does that normally happen?” she asked, trotting after him.

“Yeah, sometimes. All this testosterone gets to us after awhile. You just need to fight to get it out, you know?”

Isabella looked back at the workers, who were all working calmly.

“Where were you?” he asked, stopping in his tracks and shielding his eyes against the sun to look at her.

“Getting fitted for my bridesmaid dress.”

“Ah.” He nodded and looked away. “So why have you been avoiding me?”

She was stunned into silence. He was so astute; it made her nervous sometimes.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” she said lamely.

“Right.”

“I’ve been preoccupied...”

“Okay.” Something in his tone told her he was far from okay.

“Listen, if you’re upset because you’re not getting any from me, I suggest you get over it because like I said before, that’s over.”

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. She was suddenly wary as she sensed his growing anger. “Don’t even say that. You know that’s not what it’s about.”

“Whatever it’s about, it’s over. That’s all I can say.”

She turned to walk away, not trusting herself to be able to lie to him anymore. It was all in their best interests though, and he would never understand that. She was saving herself a lot of trouble in the long run. She knew there was something growing between them, some indescribable connection that was sure to be very gratifying if it developed into something more. But for how long would it last? She couldn’t take the chance.

She walked into the house, knees feeling suddenly weak. The door burst open behind her and Luke barged in.

“When are you gonna quit lying to yourself, huh?” The fire in his eyes scared her.

She didn’t know how to respond, so she turned away.

“No, answer me.” He grabbed her arm and turned her around.

“No matter how I feel or what I say to you, things can’t happen between us.” She took a deep breath, hardly able to meet his gaze. “Just consider everything I told you a lie and forget I exist. It’ll make things that much easier.”

He stared at her, cutting a hole through her heart. She didn’t breathe for a few moments, waiting to see where his fist would connect first—the wall, or the next person who passed by.

“You must be the most jaded woman I’ve ever met,” he growled and stormed out of the house. As she watched him walk away, she knew she’d only made him more determined to change her mind. He was a man who would do whatever it took.

The deepest, most secret part of her heart was insanely glad of it.

***

“Fuckin’
A
!” Jimmy clapped Luke on his shoulder and threw his head back, rolling with laughter. “Luke, it feels so good to have you back out with the boys!”

Luke stared at his beer mug, rotating it between his hands. He mustered a smile. “I’m home again.”

He threw back a large gulp of beer and stared blankly in front of him. If this was home, he wished he’d never come back.

“Come on, tell us about the bet!” Jimmy nudged him, wiggling his eyebrows. Jimmy was smashed—and it was only ten o’clock.

“Oh, nothing major...”

Jimmy clapped him on the back again, letting out a whoop. “When Luke says
nothing
major, Luke means
something
major!” A few guys around him laughed and slapped his back.

He sighed. “You guys might be right. This could be the first bet I’ll ever lose.”

A strange hush fell over the guys. It seemed as though the whole bar quieted at this fantastic piece of news.

“Seriously?” Jimmy asked, unable to hide his smile.

“Seriously.” He shrugged, taking another drink of his beer. “She’s different than all the others. Besides, I’m gonna tell her about it. I don’t like that she doesn’t know.”

Jimmy pumped his fists into the air. “Yes! I knew I was doing this for a reason! Finally, Luke pays out.”

Luke sank into his chair, feeling weary. The predicament with the bet felt oppressively heavy, something he could actually feel on his chest and shoulders when he thought about it too much. How could he bring it up to her? And what would she say back to him? There was no easy way to spill it, and he feared losing her once and for all if he told her. Having her hot and cold was better than not having her at all.

Luke took a swig of his beer, appraising his surroundings with a frown. He felt like he hadn’t gone bar-hopping in years. All the attraction of the drunken nights and strange, unfamiliar women had completely dissipated. His anger with Isabella had driven him here, and all he wanted was to be with her.

He hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

“You’re a lightweight tonight?” Jimmy asked.

“Could be.” He was dying to leave the bar and drive over to her house to make amends. But the cocky, masculine side of him wouldn’t allow it. He had to show her what she was missing out on. He had to make her
go crazy
for him.

“You know, that Isabella chick is hotter than I thought,” Jimmy said in a drunkenly sincere voice. “She’s got some jugs.”

“If you only knew,” he muttered under his breath.

“Mark asked me again about the deal. He wants in on it still.”

“I said no.”

“He’s just gonna start hitting on her then. He says he can’t wait around.” Jimmy laughed. “I told Mark that getting a girl like Isabella would only happen in his wildest dreams. But he thinks he has a chance.”

“He doesn’t. Hell,
I
don’t even have a chance with her.”

“Mark’s a crazy guy.”

“Whatever. Tell him to stay away from her.”

“Oh, come on, Luke. Don’t keep a guy from his dreams.”

“No. Mark doesn’t have a chance, and I don’t want him creeping her out.”

Jimmy paused, staring at him. “You’ve got a thing for Isabella, don’t you?”

Luke was silent.

“You
do
! You’ve fallen for a
bet
!” Jimmy shook his head mournfully. “Luke, the Ultimate Ladies’ Man, has fallen for a little rich girl! Unbe-fuckin-lievable.”

Luke’s stomach churned and he stared hard at the countertop. “I never said I fell for her. And she’s not a little girl.”

“All right, Moony Eyes,” Jimmy scoffed. “Now it makes sense why you don’t want Mark in on it. I never thought you’d fall for a girl. I thought you were smarter than that.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Jimmy, you have a wife. I don’t get it.”

“When I wasn’t looking, I fell in love! Life’s like that sometimes. But you, you still have a chance. I was like you, when I was younger. But then love got me. You can still escape. You can still live free and wild.”

“Why is love so bad?” He winced after he spoke the words, painfully aware of the incompatibility of the question and their location, especially coming from a guy like him.

Jimmy gestured wildly into the air. “It ain’t bad! It just sucks!”

Luke groaned. “I think we need to cut you off...”

“No, Luke, I’m making perfect sense. What I’m saying is, yeah, sure, I love my wife. She loves me. But...that sense of adventure is gone. We’re both sitting here in this bar—you have it, and I don’t. I really liked it, and I really miss it.”

“So you’re saying that if I fall in love, I’ll only regret it later because I can’t have this back?” He gestured around him at the throngs of ladies loitering around the dance floor and clusters of men slugging back beers. Whatever
this
was...he didn’t want it back.

“Exactly.” Jimmy threw back his last beer. “I think I’m done for the night.”

Luke sighed. “I’ll take you home.”

***

After Luke dropped Jimmy off at his house he drove aimlessly around town, trying to ignore the voice in the back of his head telling him to go to Isabella’s. He wanted to see her but he knew nothing would come of it. She was more determined than he’d thought to stick to her resolve and ignore her own feelings. It made him crazy with anger; the extent to which it upset him made him feel even crazier.

He could actually see the conflicting emotions play across her face sometimes. Maybe it was because he was so content looking at her, absorbing her features, cataloguing her quirks and movements and expressions. At any rate, the façade she constructed wasn’t strong enough to fool him.

Before he realized it, he was at her house, car idling in the driveway. He froze, scared to move in case she looked out the window and saw him there. He had two options: he could speed away and pretend he’d never been there, or confront her and possibly worsen whatever good might still be left between them.

Two options, but only one clear desire. She’d been avoiding him for so long he felt like he hadn’t been with her in years. He had to see her, regardless of the consequences. Even if he couldn’t touch or kiss her, he just wanted to be around her, to absorb her energy and scent.

He got out of the car, heart racing in his chest. He knocked three times on the front door and waited.

Within a few moments, she opened the door. Confusion etched itself across her face. “Luke?”

“Uh...hey.” He offered a small smile and buried his hands in his pockets. His mind went blank and he realized he hadn’t thought of a single thing to say to her; he’d been driven here simply by his need to see her.

“Did you need something? Is everything okay?” She looked at her wrist. “Jesus, it’s late!”

“Yeah.” He paused, weighing his next words. In a small voice, he said, “I wanted to see you.” He shrugged, feeling his mind relax and thoughts start to flow again. “That’s all.”

Her face softened and she held the door open for him. He stepped inside, the tension between them thickening with each second. He could sense her perplexity.

He began speaking without even knowing what would come out. “Bella, I’m sorry about what happened earlier today. I shouldn’t have been so upset. If you don’t want to be with me, I understand.”

As soon as he said the words, his heart broke. But what surprised him was that he truly meant every word. Wasn’t he the guy who fed lines to girls, saying anything and everything to get them into bed and secure a bet? But here he was going back on the bet, putting her feelings first, not even
thinking
about the money.

“You do?” Isabella asked, gazing deeply into his eyes. “I was going to apologize to
you
...I know how irrational I must seem to you, constantly going from one thing to the next. But I swear I have a greater intention.”

“I know. And if you want, I’ll leave you alone.”

“What do you mean, ‘leave me alone?’”

“I won’t flirt with you anymore, I won’t come on to you, I won’t touch you, or kiss you, or...” He gulped, tearing his eyes away from her. No, it was impossible. He could never fully keep himself from doing any of those things when she was near him.

“Liar.” She watched him with a coy grin.

“I’ll try, at least. But if that’s what you want, then tell me. I just need you to decide.”

She was silent. He could feel her eyes sweeping up and down his body. The awkward tension had suddenly been replaced with sexual tension and he fought to keep his mind clear.

“Why do I have to decide? Don’t ask me what I want,” she said, slinking closer to him. The tone of her voice had shifted from serious to sultry. “We just need to do what’s best.”

Luke knew what
he
thought was best. And it certainly didn’t involve avoiding her and denying his crazy sexual impulses.

“Because you want it too,” he murmured, catching her at the waist and pulling her closer. “Look at you, you vixen. You tell me you don’t want to be with me, then you come at me like this. What am I supposed to do?”

She gasped softly as he pressed her body to his, hard. “That doesn’t matter.”

“What if we’re destined to be together?” he asked, appalled with himself the minute the words had flown out of his mouth. A word like destiny didn’t belong in the same breathing space as Luke Peterson. But Isabella was changing him; it was a fact that was now obvious in every part of his life. Pretty soon, he’d be cleaning kitchen floors and rearing children. The thought didn’t sit as heavy and awkward inside his head as he once thought it might.

Her gaze didn’t change. She simply said, “Then I’m changing my fate.”