Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy) (5 page)

“Well, you aren't driving
my
car.”

“
Can I at least ride with you?” I ask, fluttering my eyelashes at him.

He nods, and I follow him back to his car. Once we're in, I watch him as he pulls his car onto the track. I love his facial expressions, and how they suddenly got very serious the second we pull out onto the track.

“Just so you know,” he says, turning to me, “you can only ride during practice. The actual race is too dangerous.”

This kind of makes me mad. I am stubborn, and hate being told what I
can
and
can't
do. “I'm pretty sure I'd be ok. Besides, I'm going to get that car, and I'm going to race myself.”

He shakes his head. “Where I race is no place for you.”

“Well, where do you race?”

“
I'll show you. Friday night. I'll pick you up at 11,” he says.

“
11 at night?” I confirm.

“
Yes,” he nods. “The races usually start around midnight on the west side.”

“
West side?” I ask.

He laughs, and then takes off. I lean my head against the back of the seat as he circles around the track. We are the only ones on the track right now, but soon, another car pulls on. We pull up beside them. The guy in the next car nods at Stephan and I want to laugh. What is this? The Fast and the Furious?

A brunette girl that I didn't see before steps out onto the track. She's wearing a pair of skinny jeans, and a tank top. She's kind of hot, in a Kim Kardashian kind of way. And then I realize, this is
just like
The Fast and the Furious. Now,
where the hell is Paul Walker
?

She has a flag in her hand. She counts, and waves the flag. Both cars whiz by her, and I'm not thinking about her anymore. I'm sitting with my head against the neck rest watching the track. Stephan cuts right around the first curve, and we are drifting.  At first, I think about screaming, but then I realize that I've never had this much fun. It's a total adrenaline rush.

I glance down at Stephan's speedometer. He's currently going 80 MPH, drifting around a curve. I wonder just how fast he has drove this car.

The other guy is ahead of us, but as we go around the second curve, Stephan pulls ahead. We do a few more laps, and Stephan manages to stay ahead... barely. But we win, and I'm pretty sure I'm screaming.

“
That was awesome
!”

12:43 am

My friends don't like your music.

It's really late when we leave the racetrack, but I'm not tired. I feel exhilarated, and extremely hyper. It's then that I realize, I know this feeling... It's the feeling I get after every performance.

Stephan didn't let me drive his car, but I rode with him during every race. Stephan raced probably five times, and we got to watch about 20 other races. This is definitely my new favorite thing to do.

“
Ok, seriously, that was so much fun,” I say, as we leave. “I can't wait to race.”

“
That wasn't a race,” he chuckles. “I told you, babe, that was just practice. Wait until Friday night. That's when the real races are.”

I sigh dreamily, and lay back in the seat. “I like your friends.”

“Why is that?” he asks.

“
Didn't you notice that not one of them knew me?” I smile. “I can be normal around them. It's pretty awesome.”

“
My friends don't like your music,” he admits. “And it's not really you, you're an amazing singer and performer, but all that animated shit kind of takes away from your talent.”

I nod, knowing exactly what he means. “Well, that's part of the reason I wanted to take a break. Every album I record becomes less and less me. I hate what's expected of me. You know, my record company wouldn't even let me dye my hair?”

“I like the blonde,” he smiles. “But it does make you look like a Barbie.”

“
I know, right?” I shake my head, thinking about how stupid my life has become. “Did you know that I can play the guitar, bass, and drums?”

“
I knew about the guitar from some of your earlier work, but I didn't know about the others. That's impressive.”

“
Thanks. Nobody knows because I don't play. They expect me to just
sing
. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love singing, but I want to play!”

“
Will you play for me?” he asks. “I'd love to hear your music. Something I've never heard before. Scarlett unplugged.”

“
Yeah. I want to play for you,” I agree. “Tomorrow, after school?”

“
Sounds good to me.”

Wednesday, September 9

7:45 am

Goodbye, Barbie

Last night, I didn't get home from my date with Stephan until well after one in the morning. I'm used to late nights, but I'm not used to early mornings. And this morning, I hit the snooze button about 15 times too many. I look through my closet and grab a pair of skinny jeans, and a hoodie. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and skip the makeup. I'm too scared to look in the mirror because I know I look hideous.

I run out the door, and am surprised to see that Stephan is parked in my driveway. He's leaning up against his car with his hands in his pockets. The lack of sleep obviously doesn't effect him, cause he looks incredible.

“
Stephan.” I'm a little breathless as I say his name.

“
Scarlett,” he smiles. “Want a ride?”

I nod as I walk to his car. I slide into his passenger seat, and suddenly wish I would've taken the time to fix my makeup.

“You look good,” he says as we take off. “Less like Barbie.”

I look at him for a few seconds before responding, “I'm not sure if that is supposed to be a compliment or not.”

“Oh, it's a compliment.”

“
I'm pretty sure today is the first day I've gone without makeup since I was 14 years old,” I admit to him. “If only my mom could see me now, she'd have a cow.”

“
Where are your parents?” he asks.

“
My
dad
is in Los Angeles. He's my manager and refuses to accept the fact that I'm taking a break,” I explain. “And my mother, well, I think she's at my house in Europe. Her and my father can't stand to be in the same country as each other.”

“
So,
why
are you taking a break?”

Why is a very good question. One that I'm not exactly sure how to answer without being too personal.

“I am just reevaluating my life. I'm not sure that music is what I want anymore,” I admit. “I mean, don't get me wrong,
I love music
. Music is my life. But, being a rock star isn't exactly what I thought it would be. I'm under so much pressure to just be perfect, and I can't do it anymore.”

“
So if not music, what do you want with your life?” he asks.

Another good question. “I have no idea. I honestly have never dreamed of doing anything else. Maybe I will go to college.”

“You don't seem like the college type, no offense, because I'm definitely not the college type either,” he says. “Not that college isn't good for people like my brother, but you and me, we were destined for more.”

“
Do you really believe in destiny?” I ask.

He nods. “I think I do.”

12:02 pm

You
like
her.

I really didn't think that my math tutor session did any good, but today during math I
actually
understand some of it. I know that I still have a long way to go, but Ethan says he's willing to help me until I get it.

“
When can you tutor me again?” I ask Ethan as we walk to lunch. The whole walk there, I'm wondering if Stephan will eat with us or not. I should have asked him in Study Hall.

“
I need to study for a chem test tonight,” he says. “Tomorrow?”

I nod. “Sounds good.”

“Scarlett,” I hear a voice. I turn around to see a brunette girl come up to me. She's wearing a cheerleading uniform. Her eyes stand out to me. They're the same color of green as Stephan's. The girl is kind of beautiful.

“
See you inside,” Ethan blushes, then with his head down, he walks off in the opposite direction.

“
Hi, I'm Mona,” she introduces herself to me. “Do you want to eat lunch with me and my friends today?”

“
I don't know,” I hesitate. “I usually eat with Ethan.”

She rolls her eyes. “Come on, you're Scarlett Ryan. Why are you hanging out with
him
?”

“
Scarlett!” Stephan comes up, and puts his arm around my shoulder.

“
Ewe,” Mona says, then turns around and walks the other way.

“
What's her problem?” I ask him.

“
I don't know, and I don't care.” He says. I start to walk towards to cafeteria, but he stops me. “Let's ditch.”

I roll my eyes. “It's my third day here, Stephan. And might I remind you, I'm 19 and still haven't graduated high school. I'm here to learn.”

He tries to look sad. “Fine. Go hang out with my dorky stepbrother, and I will see you after school. Remember, you promised to give me a
private
concert tonight.”

I half wave. “Later.”

As I walk through the cafeteria, I ignore everybody who tries to talk to me, and sit beside Ethan. I don't even care if everybody thinks I am being a bitch. I am not in the mood to put up with fake people, and I am quickly figuring out, high school is almost as bad as Hollywood.

Ethan looks sad, but smiles when I sit at the table across from him. He almost looks surprised that I am sitting here.

“What's wrong?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “It's nothing. I just...
hate
small towns sometimes.”

“
Trust me when I say it's not any different in a big city, just less people to hate you here,” I shrug. “Does this have anything to do with that cheerleader?”

“
Mona,” he reminds me her name. I really don't care. “You know, I've known her since kindergarten. We were friends up until two years ago. After my dad married Stephan's mom, she quit talking to me.”

“
Wow, what a bitch,” I say. “Why would you want somebody like her to talk to you anyway?”

He doesn't reply. He just hangs his head, and looks at his food. Where was the confident guy I met on the first day of school? And then, I realize...

“You
like
her.”

He glares at me. “I don't know her... I mean, I used to, but not anymore. I can't
like
somebody I don't know.”

I can't help but smile. “But you
want
to know her. And you're
attracted
to her.”

He sighs. “It doesn't matter. She doesn't want to know me.”

“How about we make an arrangement,” I suggest.

He looks up, and I can tell he's intrigued.

“You tutor me in math, and I'll tutor you in girls.”

“
I'll tutor you either way,” he says, taking a bite of his food. “Besides, I'm a lost cause.” I'm pretty sure part of his burrito just fell out of his mouth. I choose not to comment.

“
I know. But I want to help you.”

“
I don't know...” he hesitates, but I can see that he will break easily.

“
That girl, and every other girl in this school, will be falling at your feet within a month,” I promise.

“
Fine.”

I can't help but feel satisfied.

3:11 pm

The real “Scarlett”.

One of the reasons why I chose Hope, Florida is because of my house. It's nothing fancy, especially compared to my home in Malibu, but it is exactly what I want. A 2 story house on the beach. On the bottom floor, the walls are basically glass, and the view of the ocean is spectacular.

At the back of my house, there is a huge stone wall that circles around the in ground pool. There is even a rock waterfall that is attached to the pool.

The best part... I know my parents won't want to visit me here. This house, as well as the town, is much too small for their taste.

I catch a ride home with Ethan, since I had rode to school with Stephan. When I get home, he is waiting for me outside. The security guys I hired are standing beside him.

“Want us to get rid of him, Miss Ryan?” one of the guys asks.