Jae's Assignment (19 page)

Coming into her room Trevor gave a doubtful glance. “You mean broke into my room, don’t you?”

“Rule number one: never incriminate yourself.” Jae waved him to the small desk where he promptly unloaded the bag, then passed her a heavy Styrofoam box after she put her weapon away. “You know when I told you not to open your door if someone happened to knock also included you not leaving out of it, right?” When he simply nodded then waved to the food, Jae wasn’t going to waste her breath rehashing the dangers he faced if he was spotted. They ate in silence for several minutes while she sat on the bed, and he sat in the chair at the desk. As Jae made her way through the toppings of sour cream, salsa, guacamole, olives, peppers, and cheese to get to the nachos, the gnawing question returned: why’d he come back there?

Absently, she reflected on what she’d read about Adian Cole, a man who didn’t even have a parking citation. His work as a physician had been unquestionable. By the time he’d enlisted in the military, he’d become a licensed psychiatrist. It backed up what he’d told her in Virginia about wanting to help heal the minds of troubled soldiers.

Watching him eat, she was caught off guard when he glanced up and caught her staring at him. She noticed how relaxed he was as he bobbed his head in time with the music coming from the radio. Breaking eye contact with him didn’t stop the flood of emotion that hit her again, an awareness of him in a sexy, masculine way that sent another sensual ripple of excitement through her. “So, how do you stay so fit, Trevor?” she managed to say over a slight tremor in her voice, but she sipped her iced tea to cover it.

“I run a lot,” Trevor said, with a hint of laughter in his voice.

Jae glanced up and caught him staring at her and it immediately brought on a flashback of working in his office. Yes, she’d often find him absently staring at her and it got on her nerves then, but now she wondered what he’d been thinking about her. Did he think she was pretty? Was he as attracted to her as she was to him?

“Why were you staring?” she asked as he popped a nacho heavy with cheese into his mouth.

“I wasn’t,” he said guiltily.

“Yes, you were.”

“I wasn’t.”

Jae waved a hand. “Now you want to play games?” When he slurped his iced tea, Jae stood up and set her container on the desk and faced him. “Okay enough about that. Tell me why we’re here.”

He ignored her question and fiddled with his hands.

“If you think you’re keeping me safe by not telling me, you’re not. Besides…I already know,” she said.

“Know what? Why don’t you just tell me what you know,” he said, having finished his nachos. He gathered up their discarded containers.

“Your real name is Adian Cole,” Jae announced and watched as a confused expression blanketed his face. “You’re wondering how I found out?” He didn’t answer. He simply stared at her. “I opened the right book.”

“That’s impossible. Agent Willow assured me that my information couldn’t be found. He promised it would be in an encrypted file, one that was impenetrable.”

“Well, I got it, but it wasn’t in a file.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Believe it. Back at my apartment you asked me to trust you. I did and now I’m asking you to trust me because Grainger’s disappearance is in some way connected to you. I don’t know how or why, but right now I’m wondering why you’re here, Adian.” His expressionless face was becoming frustrating. “You took a big risk coming back to your hometown where somebody could recognize you. Why? Why would you do that?”

“Adian Cole is dead. My name is Trevor Grant, but to answer your question, I had to come back here,” he said, his voice void of emotion. “Today,” he added.

Seeing that he would not be as forthcoming as she’d hoped, Jae impatiently threw her hands up and in a voice louder than she’d intended her words sliced the air. “Listen, you’re still my assignment and I have an interest in anything that could get you killed, get
us
killed. Now, I’m sorry about your mother, truly I am, but why did you come back here and don’t you dare give me any crap about taking a trip down memory lane of your graduation night!”

He glared at her before saying, “Jae, I didn’t ask you to tag along. You took it upon yourself to do that long before your crew broke into my room. Your questions about my personal life are out of the scope of your assignment and frankly none of your damn business!”

Jae returned his hostile glare with one of her own. “Oh, you’d better believe it’s my damn business. Like it or not, you’re the key to finding Grainger.”

“Because you want to prove that you didn’t fail your original assignment to get me to a safe location. That’s rich, Jae, because if you had succeeded in that original scenario we wouldn’t be standing here right now.” Trevor nodded. “But I will answer your questions, all of them, but only if you answer just one for me. Okay?”

All Jae heard was that he would answer her questions and she had lots of them. “Okay.”

“Why haven’t you told your parents, Elaine, Drew, and the rest of your family that you’re an FBI agent?” Jae’s eyes widened with surprise. “Oh, was that too personal for you,
sweetheart
?” he taunted, throwing in the endearment and mocking her by throwing up his hands.

Caught off guard, Jae’s chest fell and she backed away from him lest she perform a move that would flatten him on his backside like she’d done to Mike. “That’s Mr. and Mrs. Randall to you and you’re absolutely correct. It’s none of your damn business!”

“Why does that simple question make you so angry?” he asked.

“Snack time is over,
Adian
. You can leave my room now,” she retorted.

“Technically, it’s my room because I paid for it.”

“If I still have a job when I get back to the office, I’ll put it in my expense report and reimburse you,” she said, stomping past him to the door. He caught her hand in his.

A heartfelt apology was on his lips. “I’m sorry, Jae. It’s just that you have a great job and a wonderful and loving family. I think they would be very proud of you. That’s all I meant.”

“They wouldn’t be proud,” Jae said solemnly, not meeting his eyes

“You mean your sister Nina wouldn’t be proud? Yeah, I picked up on that,” he said.

“Get out of my head, Dr. Grant or Dr. Cole or whomever you’ll change into next.”

“Touché.”

Pulling her hand from his, Jae said, “Listen, this isn’t a contest between us.”

“Then what is it, Jae?” His voice softened at her downcast expression. “Was it that kiss?”

“You know, for a man with no name, you seem to have all the answers, don’t you?”

“I don’t have any answers. I’m supposed to be the one people come to seeking answers and yet, I can’t even do that any longer. I have a profession, two actually, that I love, but to practice them now makes that bull’s-eye on my back even bigger. Unlike you, Jae, I don’t have people I can call friends because I can’t disclose who I am or what I like to do. I can’t just hang out or take part in a charity softball event without constantly looking over my shoulder. My God, Jae, you have all of that and more. You’ve got a circle of guys willing to put their lives on the line for you and Mighty Mike is obviously crazy about you. Yes, I have a family. But to them, I’m dead. They’ve mourned me for five years. You’ve got a wonderful family but you can’t even stand up to your sister, Nina. Why can’t you tell her to get off your back?” Trevor stepped closer. “Why can’t you? You’re a big girl. You’re no longer the kid sister to be picked on or pushed around, are you, Special Agent Randall?”

“Oh, and I’m sure everything was easy for you, Dr. Whoever or Whatever?” Jae shot back defensively.

“No, Special Agent Randall, nothing has been easy for me! I’ve lost everything—my livelihood, my family, my lover, and my career. Trust me on this, nothing has been easy for me. I’m a man in hiding. Take a look at what you take for granted. I didn’t peg you as a selfish woman, Jae.”

“Selfish?” Jae spat indignantly.

“That’s right!” Trevor returned the furor.

Jae huffed to the door and pulled it open. “Get out of here before I take aim at that bull’s-eye on your back!” She had to swallow against the sudden hoarseness in her throat.

“What about your assignment and Grainger? Aren’t you worried I’ll skip out on you?”

“Then start skipping. I’ll find Grainger on my own,” she snapped.

Trevor picked up the bag of trash then walked to the door. He stopped and turned back to her. “To answer your question, I came here to bring my kid brother a gift that I hadn’t been able to send to him because he was killed overseas. Today would have been his thirtieth birthday and he had a love of sailboats. I found him the perfect gift. It was a paperweight with a sailboat in it, and I buried it with him today.”

Trevor walked down the hall to his room.

Chapter Fifteen

Jae stared at the ceiling in her room so long the cottage cheese patterns started to take shapes. The music was still playing but she wasn’t listening to it. It was just a source of company. She’d hoped to tune out her troubling thoughts.

It didn’t work.

She wasn’t angry at Trevor, not really. He’d simply called her out on something she was too stubborn to admit: the real reason she hadn’t told her family she was an FBI agent.

Jae reflected on the assignments she’d been given over the years. Some were so dangerous she’d barely completed them unscathed. She knew without a doubt her parents would have worried themselves sick for her safety had they known. She had seen it before.

Her Uncle Edward, her father’s brother, had been a security guard for an armored truck service. He would tell them of the brushes with death he’d had and the robbery attempts. Jae had always thought he was boasting, which only added to the fear and worry etched on her father’s face and her mother’s gasps as she covered her mouth in horror. She had seen their worry when they couldn’t reach him by phone and she’d seen their sorrow when they received word of his death. The armored truck he had been in had been targeted for a robbery by an armed gang. Her uncle and another guard had been killed.

Yes that was a big part of it, but Jae also didn’t want to face her sister Nina’s ridicule, sarcasm, judgmental comments, and put-downs. There was no room in her line of business for self-doubt. All she’d ever heard growing up was why couldn’t she be more like her sister because Nina did everything she could to best everybody. Nina lived for the accolades and the attention, whereas Jae didn’t care one way or another. She scoffed at the awards and power plays that Nina always got. Unfortunately, Nina didn’t just put her best foot forward, Nina trampled over everyone else and their ideas, including Jae’s. It had always been that way between them and as adults their discord continued.

A few years ago when she’d brought up the subject of being an agent to her parents, Nina chimed in, saying that a secretarial job was probably the best she could do. Hearing that, Jae ended up saying it was a government job, which Nina bashed, suggesting that the only good part about it was the potential for Jae to find a husband. What made it worse was that her parents seemed to agree.

Jae was proud of herself and her accomplishments as an agent. She even thought her parents and Ronnie would be happy and proud to know how well she’d done these past seven years. But all of that could be tarnished by Nina’s disparaging and critical comments.

Proof of that was at Ronnie’s bridal shower, bachelorette party and wedding. As the coordinator of each event, Jae planned everything right down to the charming toasting glasses. She thought they would be perfect when toasting the couple with her father’s homemade wine. But Nina criticized all of her plans and then went ahead and changed them. She ordered champagne flutes and sparkling wine for the wedding reception instead.

“Why didn’t I stand up to Nina? I’m smart and I have good ideas. Why do I let her ridicule everything I do?”

Trevor’s astute words replayed in her mind.
You’re no longer the kid sister to be picked on or pushed around, are you?

But it wasn’t just that Nina tried to run over her. She also tried to do that to Ronnie, Tarsha, and Kim, but they fought back. They stood up to the big bully that Nina had always been. They always did, but she didn’t.
Why
? “Because big bad bully, Nina always gets a pass,” she said resentfully.

Growing up, Jae always wanted to be the perfect daughter, the favorite daughter. She did everything to please her parents in an effort to keep them happy and together. She could remember when she was twelve and for several long weeks, her parents separated. Being older, Nina understood the complexities of the male-female relationships and brushed it off as a spat. Ronnie was too young to care about anything beyond her toy chest, but Jae on the other hand witnessed and felt the loneliness of a broken home and her father’s sad face when he came to take them out for lunch or dinner on the weekends. She also recalled hearing her mother softly weeping at night. It was hard to take. But they came through it stronger, thankful, and more solid. But had she? Jae wondered.

At ten o’clock at night, Jae slipped from the bed, put on her robe, and left her room.

When she padded barefoot a few steps to the right to Trevor’s room, she had finished rehearsing the apology she would say to him.

He’d been right on all counts and she felt like a heel.

At the light tapping on his door, Trevor looked through the peephole and was surprised to see Jae. He hoped she hadn’t been sulking in her room then worked herself up and was returning for round two.

After opening the door, he stood in the threshold. But instead of a crouching tiger, she looked incredibly small and vulnerable, and immediately Trevor knew she hadn’t come there to rehash the argument. “You want the rest of the cookies, don’t you?” he asked, trying to bring a smile to her face. When she shook her head no, Trevor asked if she’d wanted to come in.

“If you don’t mind,” she said, briskly. As he stepped aside to let her enter, her eyes widened. “Wow, your room is much nicer and larger than mine.” She pointed to the sitting area and the workstation, complete with a large desk where his laptop sat.

“Payer’s choice,” he said, closing the door, then he offered to switch rooms with her.

“My room is fine and I will reimburse you as soon as I can.”

“Good,” he joked. “That money will come in handy now that I’m officially unemployed.”

“What does that mean?” she asked cautiously.

“It was announced recently that the Kincaid Institute is not rebuilding the research wing so my project has been shelved. Unfortunately, that also includes the request I put in for a permanent administrative assistant. Having someone to input all of my data and handle the telephone calls was a lot of help and I never got a chance to thank the efficient Regina James. So, thank you for that, Jae,” he said before offering her a seat and returning to the executive-style chair at the desk. When she said he was welcome, Trevor had to strain because her voice was just above a whisper. He noticed that she was fidgety as she sat on the sleeper sofa and wouldn’t meet his gaze, and in that instant all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms again. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“That’s a good one, Trevor. I’ll be sure to also include one psych session in my reimbursement request. Should I lie down on the sofa?” She rubbed her hand against the taupe suede fabric with a slight smile. “It’s nice.”

“That depends on what you want, Jae.” Trevor kept his voice low and composed because the thought of lying down with her was uppermost in his mind.

“You were right about Nina,” she said slowly. “She and I battled. She was a bully and still is. I don’t know why I let her run over me like she does.” Jae glanced up to meet his eyes as he assessed her. He said nothing and made sure his face gave nothing away. “Bet you’re thinking some agent I am, right?” She stood up. “Well, anyway, I just wanted to apologize for my inappropriate comments back in my room.” Shrugging her shoulders she said, “I’m blaming it on eating loaded nachos after ten o’clock.”

When she walked by his chair Trevor spoke up. “Where are you going, Jae?”

“To my room. Besides, it looks like I interrupted you anyway.” She tilted her head toward the laptop sitting on the desk.

“I was reading medical journals plus, you didn’t use the entire hour and I don’t do thirty-minute sessions.”

Jae made a face. “You’ve got to come up with a better pick-up line than that, Doctor.”

“Oh. I wasn’t aware that could be used as a pick-up line, but then I have been out of touch for a while. So give me a good pick-up line.” When she snorted and rolled her eyes dramatically, Trevor held back a chuckle as he waited expectantly. “Come on,” he said, spreading his hands.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes, I’m very serious. If I don’t get killed and I get my life back, I want to start dating again and promptly if you get my drift,” he said, encouraging her to sit back down. “You’re a beautiful woman. What pick-up lines work for you?” Trevor picked up a notepad and ink pen both bearing the hotel name and logo, then poised to start writing.

“Well…how about a simple, ‘Hi, my name is, um…” Jae said, shrugging when she saw him jot that down on the notepad. “Whatever.”

“Okay, easy enough. Give me another one.” Trevor glanced at her.

“How about something like, I think you’re a really nice looking lady and I’d like to get to know you better.” She frowned. “Actually, that sounds flaky to me but it might work for a guy like you.”

“Hmm, what if the lady wasn’t nice looking, or she was much taller than I am?”

Jae smiled at his eagerness. “Then I think you should find something you like about her, something that draws you to her initially, you know, like her smile.”

“So I guess saying I thought the lady was cute and sexy comes off as nerdy, huh?”

She laughed. “Yes, but from you, it’ll come off as honest, too.”

“Wow, Jae, you seem to know this stuff,” Trevor said with a bemused smile as he jotted on the notepad again. He had to smile otherwise he would forget this nonsensical wordplay and kiss her, only to finish what was started back at the motel before they were interrupted. Despite their obvious attraction he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. He wanted her to want him, come to him on her terms.

“I work with three single males and they ask me these types of questions also.”

“Then I’ll work on my pick-up line, otherwise I’m destined to stay single and childless.”

“Oh, you want children…a family and all of that?”

“Sure, boys and girls,” Trevor said. “What about you, does your future include children and all of that?”

Jae seemed caught off guard by his question. “I never gave it much thought because of the work I do. It’s a nice picture in my head though.”

“So, back to my pick-up line. I’d like to make it universal so that I don’t offend a lady.”

“What?”

“My line, what could I use, let’s say, on someone like you?” Trevor held her wide gaze.

“Oh, well, your lines wouldn’t work on me.”

“But you said I should find something I liked about a woman and I would prefer a nice lady and you’re nice…well, sometimes,” Trevor said, grinning.

“I’m not into White men. I don’t date them, I mean, y’all.”

“But you kiss them and knock their socks off.” He watched her eyes narrow dangerously and was quick to add, “What about a lunch date?”

“Why not dinner?” Jae asked.

“Well, in my experience, a dinner date often leads to a breakfast date. And I’m not sure you’re ready for that.” He winked at her.

Meeting his teasing eyes, she said, “Well, you got me there. Maybe you should pick up a men’s magazine for additional pointers. Look, I should get going.” When he stood up and tossed the notepad back onto the desk it tapped the laptop and disengaged the screensaver. A picture filled the screen, one of his sisters, brother, and father from the cemetery along with Trevor when he was younger. Jae moved closer to the computer. “Your family?”

“Yes.”

“The plastic surgery must have been specific to restructuring the jaw and chin.”

“And very painful, but nothing compared to the pain if I’d lost my family in some planned hit to get to me.”

“Earlier, you said you lost your lover, too. Did you mean she died?”

“No…I had to leave her behind as well.”

Jae briefly looked away from him before meeting his eyes. “I’m sure that was also painful.” He didn’t respond. “Have you tried to find her?”

“Adian Cole is dead,” Trevor said, with an edge of cynicism in his voice.

“Right. Good night, Trevor,” she said, walking to the door and leaving.

Trevor watched her hasty retreat before walking across the room to close the door. With her scent still lingering in the room, he closed his eyes and inhaled. It was nice and it stirred him on a physical level. He wished she’d wanted to stay with him longer, maybe talk some more, or watch TV—allow him to hold her in his arms. Despite trying to keep his feelings at bay he found himself watching her and wondering what she’d been thinking about when she watched him so intently. He thought it was sweet it was of her to come and apologize to him, although he didn’t think she needed to since he was the one so callous with his words. But in doing so he’d witnessed vulnerability in her eyes before she’d been able to rein in her hurt.

It wasn’t any of his business regarding the dynamics of her family life, but he was glad she’d confided in him about the obvious feud between her and her sister. It could serve as a bridge to forgiveness, that is, if she pursued it. He hoped so and now he couldn’t help thinking about his own sisters and recalling how they’d bickered over what he believed was nonsense and trivial issues. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that they loved each other, just as he was positive Jae loved her sister despite the tension between them.

Just then, he thought about his father and stepmother. He’d give anything to hold them and in return let their arms take his pain away. He missed sharing family meals and holidays and birthday celebrations. All of the things he knew Jae had because he’d seen it in the collection of family photos stored in her digital picture frame. Like a voyeur he’d studied the photos and saw the love and laughter beaming up from them. There were also videos that had him laughing out loud at their playful antics and off-key karaoke singing.

The photos of Jae and her crew revealed they spent a lot of time together, inside and outside of the office. He was also feeling jealous seeing pictures of her smiling with Special Agent Mighty Mike. He noticed she didn’t deny that Mike had feelings for her. Trevor wondered just how far their relationship had gone.

Trevor wanted a life with laughter and conversation. He wanted kids, a dog, and that white picket fence. He was tired and didn’t want to live in fear anymore. He wasn’t so proud that he couldn’t admit that he also wanted to love and be loved. Sex was great, but he wanted more.