Jailbird (13 page)

My breath was coming in great gulps by this
point. A cold drizzle pelted my face, but I welcomed it. I was
pretty sure that was the only thing keeping me from slipping into a
dark oblivion.

“Whoa,” Charlie was suddenly there, wrapping
his arms around me when I would have walked right into him without
noticing.

“Oh,” I avoided his eyes. “Hey.”

“What’s going on?”

“What? Nothing. Nothing’s going on. Why?”

“Because you’re scaring me,” worry creased
his brow.

“I’m sorry,” his words were a splash of cold
water on my face. I stopped mid-panic to cup his cheek in my hand.
“Everything is fine. I just had a completely irrational moment of
panic. Sorry.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Positive.”

“Neena, Neena…,” Cara tugged at my hand.

“Yes kiddo?” I knelt before her.

“Let me show you what I want for
Christmas.”

“Lead the way,” I didn’t need to speak, she
was already tugging me in the direction of the pet store.

“This doesn’t bode well for me, does it?”

“Not at all,” I laughed.

He was right. It didn’t bode well for him. As
we slowly made our way home in the ever-worsening weather, Cara
giggled in the back seat as a little yellow ball of fur licked her
face.

“I can’t believe you talked me into getting a
dog,” Charlie shook his head ruefully.

“I can’t believe your little girl has never
had a puppy before. That’s just wrong.”

“When would I have taken care of it? I was a
single dad,” he defended himself.

“True,” I conceded. “So I guess I have a
purpose, then.”
“You have lots of purposes, Neena,” Cara chimed in happily from the
back seat.

“You sure you’re okay?” Charlie reached out
to stroke my cheek with his thumb.

I took a deep breath then paused. “It’s
nothing babe. Don’t worry so much about me.”

The rest of the way home, I wrestled with my
decision to keep the news from him. If I knew Charlie, he’d be so
thrilled he’d shout it from the rooftops. I wasn’t so sure I was
ready to share this with anyone just yet, let alone everyone. And I
definitely wasn’t up to facing the knowing “I-told-you-so”
looks.

I told myself that if I was guilty of keeping
a secret, so was he. Any attempts at finding out what was going on
with the trial were met with obvious deflection. It was really
irritating. I’d been watching the news religiously, but the trial
was too insignificant to be on any of the stations this far north.
Conrad had been ducking my calls, too… probably at Charlie’s
insistence.

I wondered if my little piece of bliss could
get anymore messed up than it was.

“I wonder what Conrad wants,” Charlie mused
as he pulled up beside my brother’s truck in the driveway.

“Uncle Conrad!” Cara gathered her bundle and
was out of the car before I could even unfasten my seatbelt.

“She is crazy about him,” Charlie chuckled a
little ruefully as he followed his daughter through the door.

“I always was,” I shrugged, bumping into
Charlie’s back when he stopped suddenly. I peeked over his shoulder
to see what had him frozen in place.

What I saw knocked the wind right out of me.
My eyes flew to Conrad’s to see if he had some explanation for
springing this on me. The look he gave me was one of utter
helplessness. I ducked under Charlie’s arm to step towards the girl
who rose from my couch to scurry to Conrad’s side. She was
stunning.

She was undoubtedly mine.

“Charlie, Neena,” Conrad shook Charlie’s hand
in greeting and looked at me as if to assess whether it was safe to
hug me.

“Conrad,” I wrapped my arms around his waist
in a warm greeting. I could feel the tension rush from him with
that simple gesture. With one arm still around him—more to hold
myself steady than anything—I turned and smiled at my daughter for
the first time since the day of her birth. “You must be Gabrielle.
It’s so nice to meet you.”

“Uncle Conrad, you haven’t even noticed my
puppy,” Cara protested.

“Uncle Conrad?” Gabrielle seemed confused. I
wondered what he had told her.

“He’s a fine-looking dog,” Conrad scratched
the puppy’s ears, his massive hand larger than the dog’s entire
head.

“Thank you,” Cara beamed and turned her
attention to Gabrielle. “Want to help me walk him?”

“Sure,” she agreed a little warily. She was
old enough to know the adults wanted to talk about something. More
importantly, she was old enough to care what they had to say. The
look on Conrad’s face told her not to try to stay so she followed
Cara to the back yard. I could see them huddled under the porch,
urging the puppy to venture into the icy rain. He didn’t seem too
keen on that and I couldn’t blame him.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” Conrad
whispered the second they were out of earshot. “There’s a reporter
that started coming around the reservation, asking about you.”

“What?” my grip on his waist went slack and I
sank into a chair.

“Rachel Cooper,” he practically snarled the
name. “It’s stirring up all kinds of talk on the res. I didn’t want
her to get to Gabrielle.”

“So you brought her here.”

“Where else could I go?”

“I think you did the right thing,” Charlie
came to sit at the table beside me.

“It was,” I agreed a little numbly. “Does
Gabrielle know who I am?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Does she know I’m your sister?”

“I haven’t told her anything. I didn’t know
what to tell her about this whole damn mess.”

“Would you watch your mouth? What is it with
you two?” Charlie threw his hands up in disgust.

“Sorry preacher-boy.”

“She’s going to figure it out,” Charlie
changed the subject.

“Why?” I frowned. How could I possibly
justify my absence from her life?

“Did you look at her? She looks just like
you. Only taller.”

“She’s prettier than me.”

“Whatever. She’ll figure it out.”

“She doesn’t look like him though. That’s
good.”

Both men stared at the floor uncomfortably
for a second.

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. Let’s
have dinner. Both of you stay here tonight. I’ll have a talk with
her in the morning. Then she’s welcome to stay here as long as she
wants. You both are. Right Charlie?”

“Absolutely.”

“But I need tonight to figure out how to tell
her.”

“Sure, sure.”

“Why don’t I make dinner tonight? You go
visit with Conrad.”

I nodded dazedly. I wanted to ask if he was
real, but figured he must get tired of me asking him that.

The girls rejoined us in the living room,
their teeth chattering from standing in the cold winter night. I
set about making a fire but Conrad took over, shooing me to the
couch. I didn’t put up much of a protest. After so many years of
pushing all thoughts of her from my mind, now that I was in her
presence, I was intensely curious about my daughter. It seemed
completely surreal to be sitting in my living room with her
now.

“So what grade are you in, Gabrielle?”

“Fourth.”

“She skipped a year,” Conrad informed me with
a glimmer of pride in his eyes.

“Do you go to school on the res?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Is Lenora Smallwood still teaching fourth
grade there?”

“Yes ma’am,” she looked a little startled at
my knowledge.

“She isn’t giving you a hard time for being
related to this lug, is she?” I nodded in the direction of my
brother, who was shaking his head.

“Maybe a little,” Gabrielle admitted with a
shy smile. Conrad let out a bark of a laugh.

“Well, just remind yourself she’s just cranky
because Conrad never would marry her.”

“Marry Miss Smallwood? Ewww.”

“That’s what he thought, too.”

Gabrielle giggled. My heart sang.

“Why don’t you ask her if Benjamin Carter
still works at the school?” Conrad’s grin was absolutely evil.

“Shut up.”

“What about Principal Carter?”

“Principal Carter? Really? Man, they’ll let
anyone run that place. You should find the kid a decent school,
Conrad,” I chastised teasingly.

“Do you know Principal Carter?” Gabrielle
asked.

“She almost married him,” Conrad
answered.

“Really?” Charlie called from the next room.
“I want to hear this one.”

“I did not. Everyone assumed I’d marry him. I
never had any intention to.”

“So you say now,” Conrad smirked.

“You know, I bet I could pass Lenora a note
through Gabrielle here if you don’t knock it off,” I snapped.

“Sounds like a guilty conscience,” Conrad
wheedled.

“I think I need to be concerned.”

“You’re not helping, Charlie.”

“You do seem a little touchy…” Conrad was
really enjoying himself now.

“Principal Carter is cranky. You don’t want
to marry him,” Gabrielle wrinkled her nose.

“He’s only cranky since Neena here finished
with him,” Conrad chuckled.

“My great-grandma’s name is Neena,” Gabrielle
announced out of nowhere.

“Really?” I asked nonchalantly, my mind
racing to come up with another topic of conversation. “What do you
think Cara should name her new puppy?”

“Beau. It’s French,” Gabrielle suggested.

“That means beautiful,” I translated for
Cara.

“I like it,” Cara pondered the name.

“You speak French?” Gabrielle seemed
surprised.

“Oui,” I replied in French with a wink.

“Cool,” she smiled at me. “Conrad keeps
promising to teach me, but never does.”

“Hey, there’s only one of me. Cut me some
slack.”

“I can teach you,” I offered.

“Dinner is served,” Charlie popped his head
in the living room. “Cara, why don’t you go wash your hands since
you’ve been playing with the puppy.”

The blackened chicken looked amazing, but I
wasn’t sure I trusted my stomach just yet. I nibbled at the steamed
vegetables, but the aroma of garlic tickled my nostrils. It seemed
like such a waste, but I couldn’t eat more than a couple of bites
without feeling ill. Gabrielle seemed to spend as much time
studying me as I spent studying her. I couldn’t sense hatred
rolling off of her, even if she was piecing it together. That was a
good thing.

After the meal we sat around the table
playing Uno until I was ready to drop from exhaustion. When I could
take it no longer, I called an end to the little party and went to
make Gabrielle a bed in Cara’s room. By the time I had a bed made
for Conrad, I felt like I would literally keel over and die from
tired.

“She’s adorable,” Charlie had proclaimed once
the door to our room was closed behind us.

“She’s amazing,” I nodded sleepily. “And I
can’t believe she’s in our house.”

“She is,” he seemed happy about that fact. He
went to brush his teeth and I dropped my clothes in a pile on the
floor before crawling into bed. I’d get those in the morning.

If Charlie had any grand plans for the
evening, they were probably dissuaded by my soft snores when he
came back in the room.

I was vaguely aware of him saying he would
get Cara’s puppy tucked in for the night.

“Charlie?” I murmured through a sleepy
haze.

“Yes darlin’?”

“She’s not so scary in person.”

“No, she’s not so scary at all.”

Chapter Thirteen

The sunlight streaming through my room the
next morning seemed unduly harsh. The thought occurred to me that
if I was this big of a wimp about being pregnant now, it was
nothing short of a miracle that I’d survived being pregnant in
prison.

The dark circles under Charlie’s eyes were
pronounced enough I suggested we stay home from church.

“God gave me life, I can give him one morning
a week,” he smiled at me as he tucked me against his side. “Of
course, I’m sure He won’t mind if maybe we snuggle through Sunday
school just this once.”

“Daddy! The puppy made a mess!”

“Or not,” he started to stand but I shoved
him back down.

“I got this. It was my brilliant idea.”

“You don’t have to do that,” he
protested.

“Charlie, you look awful,” I snapped. “Even
if you won’t tell me what’s going on with the trial, can you at
least let me do this much?”

“Okay… sure,” he frowned a little and fell
back against his pillow.

I felt a little miserable for snapping, but
it really was his fault for not letting me help in the first place.
And for getting me pregnant. Stupid sexy lawyer. Why did he have to
go and look so hurt, anyway? Didn’t people ever snap at each other
where he came from?

I stopped in the middle of the hall and
blinked. Where did Charlie come from? Why had I not met his
parents? Why on earth hadn’t that occurred to me before now?

“Neena, he made a really big mess,” Cara
opened the laundry room door for me to see.

“Sadly, I’ve seen worse,” my shoulders sank a
little nonetheless. I had cleaned messes much worse than this
whenever I got stuck with bathroom duty at Dixon. Whatever my
previous experience, the second the smell hit my nostrils, nausea
punched me in the stomach. My eyes rolled back in my head a little
and I barely managed “Ask your Uncle Conrad to help,” before
darting back up the stairs to my bathroom. Anything that was left
of my dinner was soon gone. After another three minutes of
dry-heaving, I lay crying in the bathroom floor.

Charlie was there. Charlie was somehow always
there when I needed him. His concerned hands were trying to lift me
off the floor, but I swatted him away. The cool tile felt really
good on my face.

“I’m fine. Just give me a minute. I’m
fine.”

“Of course you are,” his expression was one
of granite as he straightened over me. He stared at me as if
waiting for some explanation. I stared at the dirt along the
baseboards and thought about coming back to scrub them when I felt
better. He snorted in disgust and went to help Cara. Fifteen
minutes later he returned to find me still lying on the bathroom
floor. I’d managed to stop crying, so progress had been made.