Jake (7 page)

She nodded. “Understood. How do you think he’ll use me against you? If he’s not in camp, what can he do to me?”

“I don’t know. I just know I don’t trust him. He doesn’t give a damn about you. You must know that.”

She glanced away from him and said softly, “In my heart, I keep hoping that he’ll love me. If I’m good enough and make enough, that somehow he’ll change and he’ll love me.”

Jake went to her and put his hands on her shoulders, afraid that if he took her completely into his arms she’d pull away. “Becky, honey, Billy is never going to change. I understand the need you have for him to love you. We all want our parents to love us, but that’s not going to happen. He doesn’t have it in him to love anyone but himself.”

She held herself stiff and sniffled. He knew she was crying but didn’t know how to comfort her any more than he already was. Slowly, very slowly, so as not to spook her, he brought her back against his chest and rested his cheek next to hers. Today was the closest she’d ever let him come and he didn’t know how long it would last. He savored it.

He felt her shoulders sag as she relaxed against him. He closed his eyes and just appreciated the feel of her against him. He rubbed his hands lightly up and down her arms in a way he hoped was soothing. She didn’t pull away but he dared not wrap her in his arms again, as he had when she was comforting him just a while ago, though he wanted to more than anything. She was skittish as a colt and he’d have to take care not to scare her away.

He was determined that Becky would be his.

CHAPTER 5

After Jake and Becky talked they both decided to keep to their regular routines. No point in letting Billy know anything was different. The only exception being that Jake now went with her to pick up Billy. He was determined to keep her safe

His brothers told him it was fool hardy. That he was more vulnerable to kidnapping himself when he was in Deadwood, but Jake couldn’t let Becky be in danger without helping. Especially when it was his fault she was in danger in the first place.

The first few times were normal. Billy was passed out at
The Gem
. Dan or someone else had moved him to a table next to the door so Becky could get at him. Usually Dan Dority put Billy on Buster’s back if he wasn’t too busy with other customers. Other times Johnny Burns, the floor manager, did it and if no one else was around, then Becky dragged him and tugged him up with a rope.

Now Jake helped her and none too gently. He threw Billy over the saddle and tied his hands and feet tight. He thought about tying them tight enough to cut off the circulation but decided Becky wouldn’t be too happy with him if her Da lost his hands because of it. It would mean she’d never be rid of him and there was no way Jake would put her in that situation.

Days went by with no change and then two strange men came to camp one day.

“Can I help you?” Becky said to them when they rode in to camp at supper time.

“We’re looking for Jake Anderson,” said the bigger of the two. He was dressed in a dirty coat and pants. His hair was down past his shoulders and hung lank and greasy. He was the bounty hunter Jake had described. The second man was cleaner and smaller but still had a feral look about him and she knew he was dangerous. Maybe the more dangerous of the two.

“I don’t know no Jake Anderson,” she said. “You can ask on the claims further up. Maybe they know him.”

“Isn’t this Billy Finnegan’s claim.” Said the bounty hunter as he started to get off his horse.

At his movement, Becky pulled her Colt revolver from its holster at her side. “Don’t be gettin’ down, mister. You got no call to stay. Billy’s name may be on the paperwork, but this is my claim. I work it. What you want with this Anderson fella, anyway?” She tried to sound nonchalant but since she was not letting him anywhere near her, there was nothing nonchalant about it and the man knew it.

“Just in case you happen to meet him you tell him I got something that belongs to him. Something he’ll want. Bad.”

“I told you I don’t know him.”

“Like I said, if you happen to meet him. I hear he’s got a claim around here. We’ll be back when Billy’s here. Maybe he’ll be more hospitable.” He looked her up and down. Becky could feel his eyes roving over her body like he was taking off every stitch she wore. Her hand started to shake and she grasped the gun with both hands, aiming it at the man’s heart.

“I wouldn’t bother coming back. Billy don’t like strangers any more than me.”

“Who said we were strangers?” He turned on his horse and was followed by the second man who hadn’t said anything but just leaned on his saddle horn and stared at her with cold eyes. A killer’s eyes. If he did or didn’t like what he heard, he gave no indication. Both men put the fear of God into her but she wasn’t going to let them know that.

She watched them ride away and wondered if they’d already stopped at the Anderson camp or come straight here to see Billy. Good thing he was still at
The Gem
doing his best to keep them in business single handedly.

Becky heard some rustling in the bushes behind her, turned and pointed her gun at the sound.

“It’s just me,” said Jake, walking out of the bushes where he’d gone as soon as he’d gotten the signal from David.

When Jake discovered the bounty hunter was in Deadwood, they all decided to keep watch for anyone who came up the gully. Any traveler would have to go past the Anderson camp first and so they’d posted David at the top of the hill between the two camps with a mirror. If anyone came up that way he signaled to Jake who then high-tailed it into the woods to watch and wait. If there was any danger to Becky, he was there, with his Henry Yellow Boy, to take out the stranger before they could hurt her.

She holstered her gun. “Did you hear?”

“Yeah.”

“So what do you want to do? They’ll be back.” She walked to the fire, took the pot of beans off the heat, stoked the fire and put another piece of wood on it before putting the beans back.

He sat on one of the camp stools and poured himself a cup of the coffee left over from breakfast. “I know. I can’t keep hiding every time someone comes and neither can Zach. It goes against our very nature.”

“Well, what do you propose? You can’t let them take you and that’s exactly what they’ll do if they see you.”

He ran a nervous hand through his blond, shaggy hair. She noticed it had gotten overly long in the few months he’d been in the gulch, now touching just below his collar in dark golden waves. She longed to run her fingers through it and couldn’t believe that she felt that way.

“I don’t know. I’ll handle it when it happens.”

Jake wanted to protect her but that was all. He hadn’t been able to save Elizabeth and now wanted to make that up by protecting Becky. She wasn’t so naïve she didn’t know that. He shielded her from himself, too and she wasn’t sure she wanted him doing that. Her heart leapt a little at the thought that he cared. She was fully capable of taking care of herself, but admitted it felt good to have someone care whether she lived or died.

And having him hold her like he had the night she’d cried for the little girl that still wanted her daddy’s love, was the nicest thing anyone had done for her in years. No one had held her and let her cry since Grandma Bess was alive. That was a long time to go without a hug.

In some ways, she may always be that little girl. That was a prospect she didn’t like. It made her weak and she couldn’t be weak and survive in this world.

Jake didn’t approach her or speak for the longest time. He must have seen that she needed to think and be alone with her thoughts. He was helping her to let go. Trying to make her strong, but what would happen to her if she did? If there was no Billy, what would become of Becky? Would she just fade away into obscurity? She didn’t mind, really, having no desire for fame, but she did have the desire for family, a real family, of her own. One without Billy in it.

So why was it so hard to let him go? Get him out of her life? She didn’t like Billy and he sure as hell didn’t like her, so why? Jake probably had the right of it. She still wanted her daddy’s love and approval; even though she knew she’d never get it.

It was time to put that behind her. She needed to concentrate on the mining claim. On getting enough gold saved to be able to walk away from Billy and never look back.

“Let’s eat. It’ll be dark soon but I’m not going to get Billy tonight. I’ll wait until tomorrow. He’ll still be passed out or if not, well, he can find his own way home then can’t he?”

Jake took the beans off the fire while Becky got the biscuits she’d baked at breakfast. She handed Jake two and took one for herself. They each piled their plates full of beans and pork belly. Becky put a new pot of coffee on to brew. It would be done by the time they finished their supper and maybe Jake would linger over a cup of the strong, hot brew.

She could offer him some of the whiskey she kept hidden from Billy. She kept it for emergencies. So when Billy got too bad he’d take the whiskey before he took his fists to her. Of course, he always backhanded her when she gave it to him because she’d kept it hidden, but at least he didn’t beat her as bad as he would have if she hadn’t had it stashed away. Finally, discarding the idea, she concentrated on her dinner.

“How did it go for you today?” asked Jake. “Did you get enough to put some away?”

She stared at him. “How can you just dismiss the danger you’re in and act like the gold matters?”

“Dwelling on it won’t change the fact they’re here. I can be on guard and be careful but I can’t let it rule me.” He took the coffee off the fire and poured them both a cup. He said, “So how did you do today?” Apparently that discussion was closed.

She shrugged. “A little. Most of it will go to Billy. It’s got to be about the same amount everyday or he gets suspicious. This way he don’t ask too many questions.”

“Why don’t you let me help you get the gold you need? We could work your claim together and you could save what I get plus what you normally do and you’d be free of Billy sooner and forever. You could go anywhere you want. What have you always wanted, Becky? What are your dreams?”

She stared into the fire. “You’ll think it’s silly for a girl like me.”

He moved next to her on the log, set his cup on the ground and took her free hand in his. “I won’t. I promise. Tell me what you want. What your greatest dream is.”

She set her cup down, took her hand from his and clasped them both in front of her before he could start making those little circles with his thumbs and derail her train of thought. Between the heat from the fire and the heat of his hand, she burned.

She had to be practical, like her Grandma Bess had been when she had something important to say, she got right to the point. Becky closed her eyes and pictured her dream. She’d lived that dream until she was seven. Until Grandmas Bess died. Until Billy took her away from all she knew.

“I want a home. A real two-story house with a picket fence out front and a little yard where kids can play. Out back will be a well house, coal shed, smoke house and ice house, too. There’ll be a clothes line off the kitchen, a real kitchen with a stove and pantry.”

Jake smiled at her. “It sounds like a good dream to me and better yet, one you can achieve. What about a husband? You planning on one of those?”

She started to shake her head, no, but instead, she said, “Why? Are you volunteering for the position?” When it took him more than an instant to answer, she had her answer. “Don’t worry. I didn’t mean nothin’.”

“No. You have a right to an answer since I asked you the question.” He looked her in the eyes and said, softer than she expected. “I’ve got a bounty on my head that, if I can’t prove the charge is invalid, I’ll hang for. I can’t ask anyone to go through that with me and maybe be left alone after it’s over.”

She looked into his face and saw the truth. He truly believed what he’d just said. “Don’t you think that should be up to the woman? It’s her life, too.”

“I could never ask that of her. I’ve already lost someone because she chose me.”

She took his hands in hers. Her turn to console him. “Oh, Jake. You didn’t lose Elizabeth because she chose you. That man, the army colonel, murdered her. He wasn’t her former fiancé. He was just a stranger who shot her to cover his tracks. You couldn’t have known that would happen. It’s not your fault.”

Jake snatched his hands from her grasp. “You don’t know. You weren’t there. You didn’t hold her, hear her gasp for air before she died. I didn’t save her. I some ways I feel like I killed her myself because I wasn’t there to stop it.”

“Jake—,”

He stood and shoved his hat on his head. “You don’t understand. I need to be alone now. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned and without so much as a backward glance, left the camp.

Becky let the hot tears fall silently down her cheeks. She’d never be able to convince Jake he wasn’t responsible for Elizabeth. She’d made her choice and had chosen Jake. Did Elizabeth’s choice of Jake over her ex-fiancé get her killed? Maybe. But Becky didn’t believe Jake was responsible for someone else’s jealousy.

Becky could easily understand Elizabeth. She’d made the same choice herself. Lord help her.

~*~

Jake left Becky sitting on a stool by the fire. Tears in her beautiful green eyes. What kind of heel was he? He couldn’t explain to her his failings as a man, he wanted her too much. But he didn’t want her falling in love with him. He had nothing to offer. He couldn’t give her her dream. The white house with picket fence and kids playing in a yard. It sounded like a wonderful dream to him. Almost the same as his own, but until he got these murder charges and the bounty taken care of, he couldn’t think about having a life. A real life.