Jake (A Redemption Romance #2) (3 page)

“Yeah, I don’t know how he found me, I was living in that little apartment then. He knew where my parents live, so when I transferred down here after we broke up, I don’t think it was hard for him to figure out where I’d gone.”

Nodding, Luke’s fists flexed, but otherwise, he stayed calm and cool.

“Well, if he found you then, he could probably find you now, especially after Nolan died.” Luke paused a bit, considering something, then continued. “If the guy knew you were friends, he could have seen the notices in the paper, Nolan’s services were public.”

Mulling it over, considering the possibility that Tim could have found me that way, I had to admit that it was probable. If he lived here now, though, he could have seen me anywhere.

“Do you still have a restraining order? Aurora said you’d gone to the police; I assume they issued one.”

Frustration coursed through my body all over again. “No, it wasn’t ever served. They didn’t catch him. After everything happened, he disappeared.”

We talked for a little longer, then he finally left. Of course by then, my mind was racing with thoughts of Tim. I was still tired, but knew I’d never sleep, so I sat down and started watching season one of Project Runway. I made it half way through season two before I passed out on the couch.

Jake

“What’s going on with Hope?” Luke’s question pulled me back to the present. The guys all met up at Bud’s, a local dive bar in Plano. The place was old, probably looked older than it actually was, but I didn’t remember a time when it wasn’t there.

The wood sided exterior probably hadn’t been painted in fifteen years, there were remnants of some blue-gray paint clinging on for dear life along the edges of each board giving the place a sinister look. The inside was dark, as you’d expect, the bar long and clear of all clutter. Oak bar stools, matching the bar lined the entire expanse, save for a small area for the waitresses to stand.

A myriad of wood tables dotted the room, all with high stools surrounding them. This wasn’t a place to come and watch the game or to bring a date, it was, however the perfect place to blend in and drink.

The mix of people was the most interesting thing about the place. Of course, you’d find the standard bikers, old vets, young vets, bar flies and cranky old waitresses who wouldn’t take shit from anyone, but also a strange number of professional types and nicely dressed women frequented the place. The latter two always seem to be sitting alone, in a dark area of the room.

Over the years, I’d watched these anomalies, wanting to know if they were coming to hook up with someone from the
wild side
or maybe participating in something illegal. Neither appeared to be the case. They rarely talked, didn’t order martinis or glasses of wine. They drank, almost exclusively, vodka or whiskey and only talked to the waitresses and bartenders.

Tonight was quiet, a Wednesday night in Plano, Texas. Reed, Grant, Trent, Luke and I sat around two high-top tables, pushed together near the back of the large room. Everyone tried to get together once a week, though with our varying schedules, often times one or more of us wouldn’t be able to make it. It was important though, after Nolan’s suicide, we’d realized how much we needed each other’s support.

Thinking about Luke’s question, I didn’t know how to answer. I’d barely spoken to Hope since Monday morning. She’d called yesterday to thank me for all the security upgrades to her house and offered to pay. I did my best not to get pissed at that and instead, tried to respect her strength and independence.

“I have no idea. Why?” I was curious why Luke thought I would have some insight into the woman. I liked her, noticed her right away when we’d met, but aside from that one crazy night – one I’d love to repeat – there wasn’t much more between us. Sure, I was worried about her and the creepy as shit note on her porch and wanted to protect her, but she didn’t seem to want to let me do it. I’d love a hell of a lot more from her, but I didn’t think she was going to let me do that, either.

Luke studied me for a long time, I could tell there was something he wanted to say, but he refrained.

“What did she tell you about the note?” His question stunned me, had she said something to
him
about it? Did he know more about this fucked up mess than I did?

“Not much, told me she was fine and didn’t know who it was from.”

Luke’s lips tightened and forehead wrinkled in either concern or frustration. If I were to wager a guess, it would be frustration.

“What do you know?” I asked, sharply questioning him. If there was more to his, I needed to know. I couldn’t help her if I didn’t have the entire story.

With a small shake of his head, he looked down into his beer and I could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“Fucking spill it, Luke, I need to know what the fuck is going on.”

Luke’s gaze shot up to me, his eyes narrowed on my face, assessing me – for what, I wasn’t sure.

“How well do you know her?” he asked, strangely, I thought.

“Well enough, I don’t know. Why?” I knew my answer wasn’t going to be enough to elicit more from him. It would only be my concern for her that would win him over, if he felt like telling me was the lesser evil.

“She’s a quiet person, she doesn’t share freely. Aurora’s told me how she was painfully shy in school, so I think it’s hard for her to truly open up.”

Nodding my agreement, I tried to find a way to encourage more. “Look, Luke, I’m concerned for her. I am the one who found that shit on her porch Monday morning, I saw her fear. She tried to mask it, but I could see it just under the surface.” I took in a calming breath, trying to steady my words. “I don’t know how to help her without all the details. If there’s something you know, you need to tell me so I can help her. That’s all I’m trying to do, keep her safe.”

I didn’t think Luke was going to answer me, he stared off for so long, thinking. I could hear the buzz of quiet conversations all around us, but we were sitting close enough that we’d been able to speak so no one else would over-hear our conversation.

“She’s got a past.” Luke finally replied, cryptically, fucking asshole, I wished he’d just spill it already.

“Who doesn’t?” I barked back.

With a raised brow and a glare sent my way, he continued. “She’s been hurt before. I don’t know the details, but Aurora knows enough to be worried about her. I think it could be the same guy bothering her now.”

My blood actually boiled. I was livid. If she had any idea who this asshole was, she should have fucking told me. She could have given me a clue, instead of worrying about an unknown creeper. 

Nodding, working to keep my anger masked, I encouraged Luke to go on.

“I don’t know many details, I know that whatever happened was a few years ago, when she was in Mississippi, but the guy came down here after she’d moved and left her notes and shit. I don’t know any more than that. I don’t feel right telling you her story, but I can’t watch over her, or I don’t think she’d let me, maybe she’ll let you.”

“As-fucking-if, that woman will barely let me within five feet of her. Thanks though, I’ll do what I can. Maybe I should have her stay with me for a while.” That thought had merit, I decided it would be my best course of action. I did have a guest room, but my bed was so much bigger and more comfortable. That would take care of two problems at once. She would be safe and she’d be in my bed.

The night passed easily from that point, but Hope was never far from my thoughts. The guys’ good-natured ribbing and adolescent antics lifted my spirits, and I enjoyed the time I spent with them.

We’d all served together in the Marines. It was strange happenstance that we each ended up in the area. There were a lot of service members here, but the fact that some of us knew each other before and served together, or met in the Corps and ended up in the same general area seemed unusual.

I for one, hadn’t grown up here. Dylan and I both grew up outside Philadelphia. Growing up the way we did, the military was about the only positive avenue available to us.

At the age of seven, my mom, two sisters and I moved in across the street from Dylan’s family. We were instant enemies, both trying to be top dog, until the second or third month when the neighborhood bully was picking on my youngest sister, Melissa.

Dylan saw what was happening and stepped in to protect her. He’d gotten his ass kicked. The following day, Dylan and I went together and took care of the bully, explaining, very gently of course, that picking on little girls was a pussy move and that we didn’t appreciate it. Okay, seriously, we beat the shit out of him, payback for seven year olds, and sometimes thirty-two year olds too.

My dad had left us three years before, no trace, no support. My mom worked her ass off to keep the house, but eventually it was just too much and she sold it before she lost it. No doubt, she was a smart woman. Mom had found us a much smaller house in a more run down area, but in the same school district. Instead of upper-middle class families, the new place was filled with single moms and younger couples. The few retired couples who’d been there since the neighborhood was new, kept an eye on all the kids left at home by working parents.

It hadn’t been the safest, but it wasn’t too bad. From that young age, I’d taken the job of protecting my sisters from anyone who would do them harm, including the strange guy who lived on the street behind us. For whatever reason, he’d always given me the creeps. I caught him trying to talk to Stephanie once, she was only one year younger than me, the middle child in our family. Thankfully, I’d been a teenager then. I’d come into my height, but was still rail thin. Stephanie wasn’t gullible though, whatever that guy would try to snow her with, wouldn’t work. I was more worried that he’d convince Melissa, the baby, to come over and search for his missing candy stash. We kept a close eye on her.

After a few hours, Trent and I walked out together. Once inside my truck, getting ready to turn toward home, I angled off in the opposite direction, toward Hope’s.

Hope

The relentless pounding on my door wouldn’t stop. Whoever was here, really wanted to get my attention. I looked out the peephole and saw Jake, illuminated in the overly bright security light, he’d installed just a couple of days before. Strangely, he wasn’t looking at the door, his head was turned and his gaze was clearly trained on something down the street.

I really wanted to ignore him, I’d fallen asleep – finally. The pounding started again just after I’d stepped back from the door and walked to the alarm panel.

“Just a minute,” I called and thankfully he stopped. The last thing I needed was for my neighbors to wake up. They were generally nice people, but all families, no one that I knew of kept late hours.

Pulling the door open, I braced myself for Jake’s mood. I’d witnessed it enough times to know that when he was angry, he’d explode. His fuse seemed to be rather short but burned out quickly.

His volatility frightened me, with my past, any dominantly aggressive man would. I was sure that he wouldn’t hurt me, but didn’t fully trust my instincts since I’d trusted Tim once too.

“We need to talk,” he said, pushing into the house. I raised my eyebrows in question and preceded him as he motioned to the couch. I didn’t want to sit, whatever this was, I wanted to get it over with. The last thing I needed was Jake in my house, late at night. I had self-control, but seriously, resisting that man was too much to ask. This, however, didn’t seem like a social call.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your ex?” Oh shoot, oh shoot, oh shoot, this was not good, not good at all. I just knew that Luke wouldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“There’s not much to tell,” I said, breezily. That was a lie, but really, why did he think he had the right to know?

Jake’s face went stony; his look was ice cold. “Really? So, when I asked you Monday morning if you had any idea who could have left that shit on your porch, you didn’t think that maybe telling me was a good idea?” He was furious. I could understand, but it wasn’t like we were dating or something, he didn’t owe me anything, and I didn’t owe him anything.

“This isn’t your problem, Jake. I’ll handle it, I always have.” The glare he sent me was arctic. I thought his look had been cold before, I was dead wrong. A muscle flexed in his jaw and I watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists. The sight of his hands like that did scare me. I could remember Tim’s hands doing that, it was a clear image in my mind.

My body reflexively moved, I stepped back, away from him and whatever he saw on my face must have registered with him. He immediately relaxed his posture and put his hands up in front of his chest, in what was supposed to be a calming position.

My heart didn’t calm, though, the adrenaline had kicked in and I was in fight or flight mode now. I could hear Jake saying something, he was trying to get my attention, but whatever he was saying, didn’t register.

I rarely had this type of flashback anymore. I’d gotten help, had seen a therapist for a long time after Tim’s attack, but once in a great while something would set me off. It was usually a conversation with my father.

“Hope!” Hearing the panic in Jake’s voice helped me to bring myself back. I’d been deep breathing, as I’d been trained to teach my own clients, and as I’d learned firsthand through my own counseling sessions. I focused on something positive and took slow, deep breaths to help counteract the fear.

Finally, after I’d heard his pleading for the third time, my eyes traveled slowly up until they met his. What I saw there stunned me. His eyes were indeed pleading, but also remorseful.

My heartbeat began to steady as I studied Jake’s face. I’d never seen anything like compassion on Tim’s face. I knew, intellectually speaking, that Jake wasn’t anything like my ex, but there were times I just couldn’t control my reactions.

“Are you okay?” Jake’s voice was gentle, as if he were coaxing a frightened kitten.

“Yes, thanks. I’m sorry, I don’t know what just happened.” I did, but didn’t want to explain, I knew that the sight of his fists had triggered this episode. Usually, I was able to control the fear before the memories took over.

Jake smiled hesitantly, seeming to understand what I wasn’t saying.

“Hope, I’d never hurt you, okay? I’ve never in my life hurt a woman. Please, don’t be afraid of me.” Taking one step toward me, he extended his arms, inviting me to hug him. Propelling myself forward, I was determined to move past it. I needed the comfort and I thought that Jake might too.

Quite a while later, Jake and I sat together on the couch. He still held me in his arms and was twirling a piece of my long hair around his finger. The action seemed mindless, almost like he didn’t realize he was doing it. Once I’d calmed completely, he spoke.

“Hope, I need you to tell me what happened with your ex. If he’s the one who left that stuff, it would help if I knew who he was.”

Though Jake didn’t work for a local police agency, working for the DEA, gave him insight and the ability to find people who didn’t want to be found. Making the decision to trust him with at least part of my story, I began.

“His name is Tim Johnson. We went to college together. We dated for about three years, then four years ago, he hit me. I went to the local police, but by the time they went to find him, he disappeared.” I pressed deeper into his chest, reveling in the comfort he was providing. I needed his strength before I could continue.

“I don’t know where he went, but they weren’t able to find him so the protection order was never served.”  My brief explanation left a heck of a lot out, but it was about all I could tell him. I didn’t want to see the pitying look I always got. Jake couldn’t see me that way, not like a woman who needed to be saved, or a woman not strong enough to protect herself.

He stayed quiet for a long time. So long, I began to feel uncomfortable. I began to get up from the couch, I wanted to be anywhere but right there. I’d go into the kitchen and get a drink, anything. Before I’d risen fully, Jake’s fingers encircled my wrist lightly and pulled me back down.

“Don’t go.” He was a man of few words, usually anyway. A few times when he was really upset he could be long-winded, but those times were rare. Since I hadn’t really wanted a drink, I sat again, anticipating what he’d say next.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked quietly.

Was he serious? I couldn’t imagine a person I wanted to know less; except maybe my father. He’d never let me live it down. Of course, he acted the same way, just without the fists.

Hanging my head, peering down at my lap, I clasped my hands together and took another deep breath.

“I didn’t want you to know.” Honesty, I decided was probably best, especially when dealing with Jake. He was a straight-talker, but also was extremely intelligent, if he wanted to, he could get ahold of the old reports and read it all for himself anyway, and he’d figure it out.

“Why, especially with the note the other morning?”

I really wanted to go for a run right now. That was the best way to clear my head. Feeling the wind, smelling nature all around gave me peace and helped me to feel empowered. I hated it, but I hadn’t gone running outside alone all week.

With the fear of Tim, out there somewhere watching me, I didn’t want to be caught out like that, especially because my favorite time to run was sunrise, when the world was mostly quiet.

“I still struggle with the shame of it all, I know that I shouldn’t, that it isn’t my fault, but on some level, I think that I could have done something before things got so bad. I didn’t want you to see me that way.” Apparently, the honesty thing had taken over my tongue, why was I telling him all this?

“Come here,” he said, moving one arm behind my back and the other reached around front to guide my face into his chest. He held me there like that for a long time. He was really good at being the comforter. I wondered if anyone else had ever seen this side of Jake.

I didn’t cry, thankfully, but it was a struggle. After a few minutes, I moved my arms to circle his waist and relaxed into the hug. It was an awkward position, our legs both faced forward on the couch, but our torsos turned into each other. Jake leaned us back and cradled me against him. It wasn’t the embrace of a lover, but that of support and friendship. Somehow, he knew exactly what I needed.

“I think you should stay with me for a while.” Jake’s suggestion caught me completely off guard. My entire body stiffened. I tried to pull away, but he settled me by running his fingers through my hair and speaking soothingly.

“I have to keep you safe, Hope. I don’t know why, but I need to. I have a guest room if you don’t want to sleep with me, you can stay in there. I’m not asking for more from you than you want to give me.”

“You did so much work here, though, I think I’m safe at home.” Certainly, I was trying to convince myself as well as him.

“I hope so. The thing is, whoever is doing this knows where you live. He doesn’t know where I live.”

Nodding into his chest, I accepted what he said. I’d gladly agree with him, but I was worried about what would happen between us. I wasn’t that strong. If he’d moved on, if he brought other women home, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Ridiculous, I knew, but it was the truth.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I argued.

“Why not?” He’d kept his voice soft, but the note of frustration showed through anyway.

“What if-” I couldn’t finish that sentence. It would have been way too telling.

“What if, what? I already told you that you can stay in the guest room if you want. I won’t pressure you, even though we are amazing together.” His eyes twinkled with mischief and his lips tipped up at the edges.

We’d never spoken openly about the night we had sex. He tried, but I hadn’t let him. I wasn’t usually that kind of girl and I didn’t want to become one now. I had a long-standing attraction to him and between that and the heightened emotion of the day, I’d pulled him in and acted like a wild woman, which I most certainly was not.

“I know what you must think, after the way I acted that night, but I’m not like that, not really. I don’t want you to think that something like that is going to happen again.”

His fingers brushed along my cheek as he looked deeper into my eyes.

“I don’t think you’re like anything. I’ve known you for a few years, but I can still remember the moment we met. I remember the long red skirt you had on. Your beautiful hair was loose, hanging down your back and your eyes sparkled with happiness as you laughed because of something Nolan had just said. You were - are - the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I was attracted to you immediately, but over the years, I’ve watched you and that attraction has only grown. Now, it isn’t only your amazing beauty, but the woman you are that has my full attention.”

I’d been wrong. It wasn’t only when he was angry that Jake could be long winded. What he’d said was wonderful, was I wrong about him, about what he felt for me?

“I can’t do the one-night stand thing, Jake, it just isn’t in me.” His body tensed immediately when I finished talking.

“I never wanted a one-night stand, Hope. I tried to talk to you the next day, but you dodged my calls. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.”

“I was embarrassed.” My whispered words belayed the tremble in my voice and the hesitation of the confession.

Tightening his arms around me again, he pulled me closer again. Speaking now, into the top of my head; “We need to figure out why you so easily feel shame for things, especially things you shouldn’t.”

I closed my eyes, knowing exactly where that nasty habit came from. I shook my head slightly, not wanting to delve into that mess.

“Stay with me, Hope. I want to keep you safe and I want to see if I can break those walls of yours down. Will you let me try?”

“Yeah,” my capitulation was quiet, but the joy and excitement made me feel like my insides were jumping up and down with glee. I wanted to see where things could go between us, I wanted Jake to keep me safe from my crazy ex. I wanted him to hold me, just like this forever, but I didn’t trust it, didn’t believe something so beautiful could be meant for me.

Dragging me along with him, Jake stood from the couch and guided me to my room. I stiffened and he chuckled at my obvious concern.

“Just packing a bag, that’s all we’re doing.” Relief swept over me and I relaxed again.

A couple of hours later, I was settled in Jake’s guest room. It could only be considered a guest room because it had a bed. Otherwise, it appeared to be a man’s catchall room. I could see the various sports equipment, his desk and laptop and a huge TV on the wall.  It matched the overall look of his house. There wasn’t any decorating style, no personal items displayed, but it was clean.

Settling in, I’d arranged my things, and got ready for bed, found my book and got under the covers to read a while until sleep would finally overtake me. I noticed a movement by the door and saw Jake there, leaning against the frame. I didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, but his eyes were liquid, lazy blue pools and totally focused on me. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking at that point, but whatever it was, it was good.

Striding toward me, he leaned over me, braced a hand on each side of my body, and leaned down so his face was just inches from mine. In my nervousness, my tongue swiped out and licked my bottom lip, his eyes caught the movement and his eyes went from lazy to hot in an instant.