Authors: Penelope Ward
gave me some comfort in an otherwise nerve-wracking situation.
I wheeled my suitcase inside and plopped the duffel bag on the full size bed. The walls were a pale gray,
and there were no windows. This room was definitely going to need some sprucing up, and I couldn’t wait
to go shopping tomorrow. I was too tired today to deal with redecorating.
I unzipped my suitcase and started to unpack when I suddenly noticed that there seemed to be low
music coming from one of the bedrooms. The doors were closed, so I had initially assumed no one was
home. I cracked my bedroom door open to listen in and suspected it was coming from the room diagonally
across at the far end of the hallway.
Then, I heard a girl’s laugher over the music.
Crap.
I wasn’t ready to meet anyone. I stayed still,
wondering whether I should just hide in my room and pretend I wasn’t here or go across the hall to say
hello.
Before I could think it over, I heard a male voice moaning. Then, the girl moaned too.
Shit. They were having sex.
I stayed still, pondering whether I should just quietly sneak out of the house and go shopping now
instead of tomorrow. It would be awkward running into them, if they knew I had heard them.
After ten minutes of trying to ignore the bed squeaking amidst “oh yeahs” and “aaahs” from the very
vocal female participant, I decided to hightail it out of there.
I was lingering behind the entrance to my room, about to make my exit, when the door across the hall
abruptly burst open releasing the sound of metal music and laughter. I froze behind the door, unable to
open or close it completely, for fear of being found out. So I stayed still, peeking through the slightly open
crack.
All I could see were feet pass by my room, but couldn’t make out faces. The male was tall with dark
clothing and the female had a large purple rose tattoo on her ankle.
They were talking and laughing in the living room for a few minutes, and then I heard some keys and a
door slam.
The apartment then turned eerily silent. Relieved, I concluded that they had left together.
Thank goodness that was over.
I spent the rest of the afternoon alone in my room unpacking. After my clothes were put away, I
meandered out to the kitchen to make some chamomile tea and relax while I got accustomed to my
surroundings. As I was pouring the boiling water, I heard the front door latch.
“Neeners!” Ryan shouted as he noticed me in the kitchen.
I placed my tea on the counter and ran over to my old friend, hugging him tightly. “Hey! I made it.”
“You did. How was the ride?” he asked.
“Not bad, just a couple of hours by bus and I took a cab here.”
“A cab? Must have been expensive. You didn’t want to take the subway from the bus station, huh? I
figured.”
I looked down at my feet. “No, I’m not there yet. I have to work on that.”
Ryan had known me since I was ten and was best friends with my older brother, Jimmy. As a result, he
was like a brother to me too and knew way more than he should about me, not all of it good.
Ryan sighed. “So, we’re still not taking subways, not riding in elevators, not flying. What else are we
afraid of these days? Our own shadow?”
“
We
are working on it, Ry…I told you.”
He shook his head and tapped my shoulder lightly. “It’s only gonna get worse, Nina.”
The truth was, as of the past few years, irrational fears had started to rule my life. I avoided certain
situations like the plague and would go to great lengths and inconveniences to do so, like taking a bus
instead of flying from New York to Texas to visit my friend in Houston, or taking the stairs instead of the
elevator.
Over the years, the situation had gotten progressively worse and was quite paralyzing. It kept me from
doing things that I would have loved, like traveling the world. A couple of years ago, at its worst, I had
started to develop a full-blown fear of leaving the house. Through cognitive behavioral therapy, I was able
to overcome my agoraphobia. So, I had come a long way, but there were still a lot of phobias that remained.
This all started one day with a panic attack in high school. We were on a field trip to the New York
Public Library, and a few classmates and I got stuck in a dark elevator. I had begun to hyperventilate and
thought I was going to die. Fifteen minutes later, the elevator moved, but the post-traumatic stress from that
moment stuck. I have gone out of my way ever since to avoid crowds, subways, planes, heights, enclosed
spaces or anything else that made me feel trapped.
“How are you going to work in a hospital someday if you can’t ride in an elevator, Nina? Are you gonna
tell your dying patients to press five and fend for themselves while you take the stairs?”
“Ry, I’ll have it under control by then, okay? I appreciate your concern, but I have to do things in my
own time. For now, I just need to focus on school starting Monday.”
“Okay, I’ll lay off your case…for now.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Much appreciated.”
Ryan looked around and gestured with open arms. “So, how do you like the place?”
The truth was, I was feeling a little anxious about living away from home for the first time, but I put on
a brave face. “I like it. My room is a little drab but that’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”
He started walking down the hall and waved for me to follow him. “Come on, let me show you
around.”
“As you know, this first room on the left here is now yours,” he said, pointing to my room.
I nodded and followed him as he entered the next room on the left at the end of the hall, which was just
past mine.
“This is my room,” he said.
Ryan’s room was immaculate with neutral colors and no clutter. On his chest of drawers, there was a
picture of him and my brother Jimmy boating on the Hudson River. It made me smile to see that he had it
displayed. I picked up the picture and looked around the room. “Wow, ever the neat freak, as always, Ry.”
“Indeed, Troll.”
“I was wondering how long it would take before that old nickname came out.”
Ryan and Jimmy always teased me growing up, because of my resemblance to the Olsen twins from that
old show
Full House
. They called me the missing triplet. The name started out as “‘Trolsen,” which stood for “Triplet” and “Olsen,” then evolved over time into “Troll.” Even though it was meant to be a term of
endearment, it bugged me sometimes. Admittedly, with my petite build, long dirty blond hair and very large
blue eyes, I did look somewhat like those celebrity twins.
Ryan stepped out of his room, and I followed him.
“Okay, you may need to put on some sunglasses for this one,” he said as he opened the door across the
hall.
“This…is Jake’s room.”
Jake. The sex room.
If this room had a theme song, it would be
Welcome to the Jungle
by Guns N’ Roses. It was a complete
contrast to Ryan’s bedroom. It was smoky, musky and mysterious. Now, I knew what he meant about the
sunglasses. The walls were a neon orange. Everything else in the room was black: black furniture, black
bedding and a black window shade to keep out the light, since this room actually had a window.
It was like every component of the room contradicted another part: neon orange and black, bright
window with a dark shade. On top of that, there was a large collection of gargoyle figurines atop the
dresser, but right next to them was a black and white picture of two adorable little girls who looked
identical. Whoever this guy was, he was an enigma.
“What’s Jake’s deal?” I asked.
Ryan ran his hand over his short blonde hair and laughed. “Jake…how could I possibly sum up Jake?
He’s…different.”
I laughed. “What do you mean
different
?”
“I mean, he’s cool…he’s just a lot of things. You’ll have to meet him to know what I am talking about.
He’s from Boston. He pretty much takes off and goes back there every weekend. I don’t know what he does
there or if he has some side business or something. He’s kind of secretive. I know his family lives there.
He’s close to his nieces apparently,” he said gesturing to the photo.
“What does he do for a living?”
“Actually, it’s sick how smart he is. He’s an engineer for a company in the city, and he pretty much can
fix anything that breaks in the house. But when you see him, you’re gonna be like, ‘he’s an engineer?’”
“What do you mean, when I see him?”
Ryan grinned. “He’s interesting.”
“Okay. Whatever you say.”
I didn’t mention to Ryan that I had already kind of gotten a preview of my own regarding Jake’s
interests. I could never admit that I was hiding behind a door listening in while Jake “entertained” his guest.
Ryan led me back down the hall, opening the door right across from mine.
“This…is Tarah’s room.”
This was the best bedroom in the house. Like Jake’s, it had a window, but was painted a delicate
lavender. There was a built-in white bookshelf, neatly organized with books and pictures and the room
smelled like fresh laundry. It looked like a page out of a Pottery Barn catalog. The sun was streaming in,
and I was so wishing this was my room.
“So, what’s Tarah like?”
Ryan blushed. “She’s really cool.”
“She is not with Jake, by any chance, is she?” I asked, thinking about the rendezvous I overheard
earlier.
“Hell no! Why would you ask that?” he snapped.
“I was just wondering.”
“Trust me, there is nothing going on between Tarah and Jake.”
“And that’s because…?”
Ryan’s face turned red again, and he gave me a look that answered my question.
“Tarah…and
you
?” I asked.
He smiled. “Yup.”
“Really…”
“Yeah, it’s new…six weeks now. Wait ‘til you meet her. She’s awesome.”
“Nice, Ryan. I am so happy for you. But what if it doesn’t work out? I mean, you’re living together.
Wouldn’t that be weird?”
“Probably. But I can’t worry about that right now.”
“Well, I can’t wait to meet her.”
“I think you two will get along really well. She’s a hair colorist for a salon in the city. She’s working
until close tonight, but she should be home around nine.”
I suddenly yawned, and then my stomach growled. “I am starving, but I haven’t had a chance to food
shop.”
“No need. Let’s go downstairs to Eleni’s. My treat. Phenomenal Greek food.”
“I know. I smelled it on the way in here.”
As Ryan and I headed downstairs, I heard the same swearing from the apartment below us. The woman
seemed to have a Jamaican accent.
“What is up with the lady on the second floor?” I asked.
“Oh, you just wait. That is just another benefit of living here, Troll. If I tell you, it will ruin it,” he said laughing.
“Okay, I am not even going to ask.”
***
After a fantastic dinner of Greek salad and chicken skewers, we returned to the apartment to have the
baklava pastry the owner, Telly, gave us to welcome me to the neighborhood. After just one meal, I already
knew I would need to limit my Eleni’s intake, or I was going to go broke and get fat.
I brewed a pot of coffee as Ryan got out the plates, and we reminisced about high school.
“So, Troll, no boyfriend at the moment?”
I sighed. “No. I was seeing someone at home for a few weeks, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Then,
knowing I was about to move away, I decided to break it off. It wasn’t worth the effort.”
“Well, they can’t all be like Stuart, can they?”
Stuart was my first boyfriend in high school. He was sensitive and sweet and the constant butt of Jimmy
and Ryan’s jokes.
“Ugh…did you have to bring him up? Poor Stuart. He was awesome, though.”
Ryan snickered. “He was a friggin’
girl.
Stuart and his paper birds! What was it he used to do?”
I giggled recalling the memory. “Aw, Stuart was the sweetest thing. He knew the combination to my
locker, and he would create these little ornate origami birds out of construction paper. Then, I would unfold
them, and there would be these little poems that rhymed inside each one. It was romantic.”
Just then, footsteps crept up behind us, and a deep raspy voice that cut through me said, “That is…the
STUPIDEST fucking thing I have ever heard.”
When I turned around, the immediate but unwanted reaction my insides felt at the sight of him told me I
was in trouble.
Reality Show Scene Three, enter stage left: hot womanizing roommate.
Then, came the three words that would change my life. “Hi, I’m Jake.”
CHAPTER 2
Jake stuck out his tattooed-covered arm prompting me to take his hand and flashing a smile that could
only be described as devilish. “You must be Neenee,” he said.
I coughed nervously, and a weird sound came out of my mouth that I couldn’t quite identify. It might
have been my body saying,
Well lookey here, she isn’t dead from the waist down after all.
He was freaking beautiful.
“It’s Nina, actually,” I said shaking his calloused hand, noticing a silver thumb ring. The warmth of his
skin in the brief contact didn’t escape me, nor did the fact that my hand lingered longer than it should have.
It might have trembled.
“I know your name. I’m just fucking with you.” He flashed a wicked grin and winked. My body’s
reaction to that made me question my own sanity.
He smelled like a mixture of cigarettes and cologne, which was oddly arousing. He had a brow ring and