James: A College Girl Romance (25 page)

As we got closer, I saw a sandy white beach and a small wooden dock. Close by were two structures with thatched rooftops and floor-to-ceiling glass windows. It looked like a posh resort from here.

When we were almost there, I realized that the island was actually much larger than I had previously estimated. Between the two structures, which were surrounded by palm trees, there was a deck with a long, turquoise infinity pool that looked out on the ocean. The boat began to slow, and within a few minutes, we were idling along the dock where a man in a white shirt and khaki pants greeted us. He reached out to take my hand.

“Thank you,” I said as I stepped onto the dock.

“Welcome, Mrs. McDevitt.”

My heart skipped, and I managed a small smile. A second later, James had jumped from the boat onto the dock. Before I could say anything, he lifted me into his arms and began carrying me toward the beach. Only steps from the water there were wooden chaises longues sitting on the sand shaded by umbrellas. There was even a hammock under the shade of the trees.

“James … Stop.”

“Stop what?”

I shook my head, because—what could I say?
Don’t make me love you more than I already do
?
Stop being the cocky, infuriating man I fell in love with
?

He stepped off the dock onto the white sand and walked toward the villa on the beach. He carried me up the stairs onto the deck, past the glittering pool, and then through the open glass doors where he set me carefully on the polished mahogany floor.

“Welcome to your island.”

I looked around. The entire space looked out onto the impossibly crystalline waters. The living area, which dwarfed my old apartment, had a bar and was steps away from a kitchen with massive stainless steel appliances and an immaculate marble counter. There were two place settings with bowls and glasses set out.

“You should eat something,” James said gesturing to the place settings.

My stomach was doing flip-flops, and I wasn’t sure food was such a good idea.

“What is it?”

“Just miso broth.”

I looked around and raised an eyebrow. All I could here was the sound of a gentle breeze rustling the palm trees. The man from earlier seemed to have evaporated into thin air. There was no sign of human life apart from us.

“How did it get here? Fairies?”

“There’s a staff on the other side of the island. They’re very discreet.”

James pulled out a wooden counter stool for me to sit. As I lifted the lid on one of the bowls, he went over to the giant refrigerator and took out a small platter of sushi and a glass pitcher full of liquid. Generally speaking, I loved sushi—when I could afford it—but I couldn’t stand the thought of anything more than broth right now. James came and sat down next to me as I picked up the bowl and took a sip of broth.

“Mmm. This is amazing. I would try the sushi, but I’m not sure my stomach can handle it.”

“I’ll have more prepared. You can have it whenever you’re ready.”

He poured from the pitcher into the glasses. Still thirsty from my blackout-inducing drinking spree, I lifted the glass to my lips and took a giant gulp. It was delicious. Sparkling water infused with strawberry, basil, and cucumber? I drank the entire glass before finishing my broth. Twisting in my seat, I looked around. There was a giant sofa, paintings, and bookshelves along the back wall—no TV.

“Feel free to look around. We’re alone, so there’s no need to worry about running into anyone.”

Nodding, I slipped from the stool and reached down to take off my sandals. The floor was pleasantly cool as I walked around the room. A doorway off the living room led into in a large workout room with a mirrored wall, exercise mats, free weights, punching bags, treadmills, weight machines, and stationary bicycles. Next, I found the powder room.

By the time I returned to the main room, James was gone. I went outside and shaded my eyes from the sun as I looked out at the water. When I reached the beach, the sand was soft and warm.

At the water’s edge, I bent down and dipped my hand beneath the surface. It was unreal. Perfectly clear and glasslike. The beautiful blue-green tint of the water made my hand look even paler, and the lapping waves were the temperature of bathwater. I laughed a little before a sob caught in my throat. This whole thing was like a dream wrapped in a nightmare.

Beautiful, surreal, impossible to escape.

I stood and began walking back toward the house. Then I stopped at the hammock. James was still nowhere in sight. I tested the hammock and then sat down on it before levering myself back. I closed my eyes, lulled by the breeze, and tried to ignore the incessant pounding behind my eyes.

When I jolted awake, I found myself in a giant bed, surrounded by soft, cool white linen sheets. Sitting up, I blinked at the sight of the sun setting toward the horizon. I was alone, but obviously someone had moved me from the hammock. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and looked around. There was a filmy white canopy hanging from the giant four-poster bed.

I got up and stretched my muscles. The room itself was beautiful, but stark. The bed faced the water. Before I could think about exploring more, my stomach growled. I walked outside and stared at the sunset. The sun burned a fierce orange as it drifted toward the immaculate, shimmering water.

I wandered across the deck toward the other building, stopping briefly to dip my fingers into the pool, which was even warmer than the ocean. When I reached the open glass doors of the other building, there was no one there. I was starting to think that James had left me here on this island, trapped. Like the
Rapunzel
fairy tale, only an island instead of a tower.

In the kitchen, I opened the refrigerator and found a platter of mouthwatering sashimi. A dinner like this would have cost me an entire night of tips at
Fantasy Land
—and that would have been on a good night. I took the platter and the ceramic jar with the soy sauce and put them on the counter. Then I went and found the pitcher of water, which had been refilled. I gorged myself on sushi before going back for a dark-chocolate-covered strawberry.

When I finished cleaning up, I walked to the workout room looking for James. The room was empty. After a few minutes wondering if James was going to reappear, I walked back to the bedroom, and from there, I continued into the bathroom, which was freaking palatial. Marble floors. A rain shower that looked out onto the water. A giant soaking tub that opened onto a tropical garden. Granite vanities on opposites sides of the room. Behind two other doors, I found a sauna and a steam room.

Finally, I found the toilet and felt a wave of relief that I didn’t feel like praying to the porcelain god. I came out and turned on the shower as I stripped off my dress and panties. Stepping under the deluge, I opened my eyes and saw a dispenser on the wall with shower gel, shampoo, and conditioner. Next to it was a shelf with a wash cloth and new razors.

As I scrubbed myself, it felt like I was scraping away a layer of champagne-induced muck, and by the time I reached over and turned off the water, I felt almost normal. Almost. There was just one problem—I didn’t know if I could even remember what normal was.

I found fluffy white towels stacked and waiting. I towel-dried my hair and then wrapped the bath sheet around my chest. There were all kinds of grooming essentials on the countertop. A wide-toothed comb, a brush, toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, cotton pads, creams, and lotions. Eventually, I made use of all of them.

After combing out my hair, I walked through the bedroom and out to the deck. When I reached the edge, I stared out as the water gently splashed against the shore. The sun was down, but there was still a gorgeous orange glow blending into an early evening purple. Suddenly an idea occurred to me, and I felt a jolt of adrenaline race through my bloodstream. Just as I was about to drop the towel and run toward the water for a quick dip, I heard James’s voice behind me.

“Some species of shark move inshore at dusk to feed. It’s best to stay out of the water after sunset. The pool is a nice alternative.”

I turned around slowly and saw James standing on the opposite side of the pool. The lights had been turned on, and the water was glowing a deep purplish-blue. He must have shaved and showered, because his dark hair was still damp. He was barefoot and wearing only a pair of linen pants slung low across his hips. Even from a distance, I could see his erection straining against the light material. I took a shaky breath as he watched me.

“Take off the towel,” he said quietly.

Staring at him, I felt hypnotized. Slowly, I lifted my arms and untucked the towel from around my chest. Then I hesitated, holding the material against me. The look in his eyes was hungry. It frightened me even as I felt a throbbing ache of pure need between my legs.

“Do it,” he coaxed.

I fumbled and let the towel slip from my grasp. My nipples tightened in the warm breeze, and when James began walking toward me, my breathing sped up. It felt like I was watching a wolf stalk toward me, about to devour me.

He stopped in front of me, and in my bare feet, I barely came up to his chest, which I could see rising and falling with his tightly controlled breaths. When I looked up at him, he lifted his hand and traced my lower lip with his thumb.

“Tell me right now if you don’t want this.”

His words sent a shockwave through me. I could still turn back. I could endure the awkwardness, take a boat back across the water, go to the airport, take a commercial flight back to the United States, where I could petition for an annulment. I could pretend this had never happened. I could pretend that James McDevitt had never happened to me.

Or I could plunge into the abyss, regardless of the consequences.

T
ell me right now if you don’t want this
.

Even as I had spoken the words, I had recognized that stopping now would require nearly inhuman restraint. She was trembling, and I could see in her eyes the fear and the craving warring with each other. It wasn’t possible for her to want this as badly as I did.

When I slid my thumb from the corner of her mouth down to the pulse in her neck, I felt the frantic beat beneath her soft skin. I continued to trace across her collarbone, down until I cupped the soft roundness of her breast. Her eyes closed, and she shuddered and rocked toward me as I caressed the soft skin. I moved slowly, closer and closer to her taut nipple. As soon as I pinched her firmly between my thumb and index finger, her head fell back. I brought my left arm around her waist to hold her up.

“Tell me.”

Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at me.

“I want this, James. I want
you
.”

The sight of her naked body had me aching to the point of pain, but it was her words that drove me toward the edge of reason. The sudden fierceness of my need took me by surprise. More than anything, I wanted to see her lost in pleasure as I finally—
finally
—made her mine.

I bent down and brushed her lips with mine, carefully teasing her over and over until she whimpered. Her tongue met mine as I pushed into the soft warmth of her mouth. I scooped her into my arms and carried her into the bedroom, where I laid her at the center of the bed.

“You are so beautiful …”

And you’re mine
.

The thought echoed in my mind. Before meeting Cassia Flynn, I had been driven by lust. I had pursued instant gratification in most of my endeavors. The other person’s pleasure had been a matter of personal pride and reciprocity. But now, staring down at her, I knew her pleasure was more important than my own. Possessiveness had been foreign to me—until Cass. Staring down at her, I wanted to possess her the same way she had taken hold of me.

A primal part of me wanted to take her hard and fast. To grab her hips and thrust into that tight-as-fuck pussy and then drive into her until her muscles tightened around me and she could no longer move or think.

But I couldn’t. Not yet. She was like pure, untouched snow. I would be her first, and I couldn’t forget that for a second. As much as I wanted to protect her and keep her from feeling any pain—I wasn’t fooling myself. The first time was going to be painful. There was no getting around how tight she was. Just the thought of pushing into her made me growl with pure lust.

I reached out and took her slender foot in my hand, pulling her to the edge of the bed. When my lips touched her arch, she jerked against me. I kissed the inside of her ankle as I reached for her other foot and gently spread her legs. When I hooked my hands under her knees and pulled her toward me, she squeaked.

I caressed the inside of her knees and then slowly began to travel up, my thumbs sliding along the unbelievably silky skin of her inner thighs. Cass’s breathing was choppy and fast, but as I carefully parted the lips of her pussy, she became very still.

Her responsiveness made me so fucking hard. I waited until she levered herself up on her elbows. As she stared down at me, I bent and let my tongue slide slowly around her clit. Her head fell back, and I teased around the swollen bud until she was trembling and gasping. I lifted her legs over my shoulders and then held her open as I licked along her pussy.

So fucking sweet.

I plunged my tongue inside her and held her hips as they bucked against my grip. By the time my tongue slid back to tease her clit, she sighed my name. I pulled away and drew my hand up, letting my fingers stroke along the slick wetness. As I pushed slowly inside her, she moaned.

I looked up at her before bending to suck her clit into my mouth as my fingers pulsed in and out, faster and faster until she was right at the edge. Her breathing hitched, and I felt her begin to tighten.

“Come for me, Cass. I need to watch you.”

She whimpered and arched, her hips writhing as her pussy gripped my fingers.

“Oh god! James!”

When she collapsed onto the bed, I pulled out slowly before dragging her all the way onto the bed. I rose to my feet a t the foot of the bed and waited for her eyes to open. The moment she stared up at me, I hooked my thumbs into my pants and pushed them to the floor. Her gaze dropped, and she frowned, shaking her head.

“I think you might be—”

“Shh. Don’t think so much, lovely. I’m going to take it slow and careful … but you’re very tight—” I said, straining to keep the edge from my voice.

I smiled as she laughed nervously. Then I walked to the nightstand where I had left the lubricant and condoms.

“Cass? Do you still want me to use a condom?”

She paused and sat up.

“No,” she whispered.

I nodded and flipped open the bottle before pouring the liquid onto my fingers and the head of my shaft, stroking down the length. I needed her first time to be as pleasurable as possible—because after making love to her tonight, I intended to fuck her senseless. When I walked back to the foot of the bed, Cass stared up at me with the wry smile I loved so much.

“Have you had that thing registered as a weapon of sexual destruction?”

I came down beside her and pulled her down onto the bed with me. She fell quiet, staring up at me with those beautiful green eyes as I touched the side of her face. I drew my hand down the center of her chest, my fingers splaying out across her belly, causing her to shudder.

As my fingers dipped between her legs, her eyes fluttered closed. I watched her face as her lips parted, her tongue darting out to lick her upper lip. I stroked her faster and faster, drawing tiny circles around her clit before dragging the pad of my middle finger directly across the delicate flesh. When her hips began to rock disjointedly, I slowed until she opened her eyes.

“Two can play that game,” she laughed raggedly as her hand shot out, her fingers wrapping around my shaft.

I grabbed her wrist and pinned it over her head. Then I did the same with her other arm, holding her wrists in one hand as I spread her legs wider to kneel between them.

“Cass, tonight is about you. I don’t need any encouragement. What I need most is self-control, which is stretched very thin at the moment.”

“Then, what are you waiting for?” she asked saucily.

I bent and kissed her soft lips.

“I’m waiting for you to beg.”

Her eyes widened and her breathing quickened. I released her wrists and held myself above her as I slid my finger to her clit, grazing her over and over, watching her face. I knew exactly when she was almost to the point of no return. I eased off, causing her to whimper beneath me.

“James,
please
. I need you,” she gasped.

I lowered myself, keeping my weight from her as my hand dropped to my shaft, guiding the head against her tight heat. Memories of the morning in my bedroom came raging back. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t taken her in that moment. As I pressed gently against the incredible silkiness of her tight entrance, I gritted my teeth. Goddamn. She was so fucking tight. Her muscles gripped me as she gasped and stared up at me.

“James—”

She broke off in a moan as I eased my hips forward slowly until the blunt head pressed deeper. She stiffened against the intrusion and made a small noise. I pulled back and dropped my head down, nipping her lower lip before teasing my tongue past her lips as I thrust my hips forward just a fraction before pulling back. Even though it was killing me, I kept my thrusts slow and shallow, matching my tongue’s penetration.

Her muscles remained taut, and her eyes were squeezed shut as she trembled and gripped the sheets. When I pulled back and rose onto my knees, Cass’s eyes popped open. She stared up at me in confusion.

“Was that it?” she asked tentatively.

I slipped my arm beneath her and pulled her up until she was straddling me.

“Not even close. Remember, I said slow and careful.”

I positioned myself as I steadied her with my other hand.

“Cass, you can’t imagine how incredible it is to have you against me right now. It feels like I’ve waited forever for this moment. Like I’ve waited forever for you.”

Her breathing faltered as she began to sink toward me, her pussy gripping the aching head of my shaft. I brought my mouth to her ear.

“That’s right. You feel so good. Cass, I need to feel you coming as I enter you.”

She moaned—a strained, desperate sound—and I pulled back. Her eyes were closed, and she was frowning.

“I can’t,” she gasped raggedly. “You’re too big.”

I reached up and dragged my thumb across her bottom lip.

“Shh. It’s okay,” I whispered.

Even as I said this, I knew the feel of her slipping against me was obliterating my control. I had never been with a virgin, not even my first time, but I needed Cass’s first time to be perfect. I moved one hand to center of her back and skated my other hand down her chest, across her belly, to her clit. I stroked her over and over, urging her pleasure higher.

“Almost there,” I rasped as she began to rock up and down.

As I circled the swollen bud faster, her head fell back and her pussy began to tighten.

“James!”

My hands gripped her hips, and I drew her down, groaning as her muscles gripped me. Fuck, she felt too good. I wrapped my arm around her and quickly lowered her to the bed as she came apart.

“Look at me, Cass.”

The moment her eyes met mine, I pushed steadily all the way to the hilt, watching her face as she bit her lip and whimpered. I dropped my head down and swallowed her cry as her body tightened around me. Each thrust brought me deeper until I couldn’t hold back. I moved faster, urged on as her hips began to match my rhythm. My muscles coiled in anticipation—I was too far-gone to prolong the pleasure. I stared down at her as I went over the edge, her name on my lips as I drove into her.

In the moments after, as I held her against my chest and stared down at her, I knew I had been wrong. She wasn’t mine—I was hers. This shy, defiant, strong-willed, mouthy woman was everything I never could have known I wanted, everything I had been afraid of. And I had lied to her.

I hadn’t married her to protect her from my father. I had married her because I had never felt this before. I had never felt what I did for her.

She was my redemption.

I woke with a start, remnants of the dream making my pulse pound. I looked around in the darkness, afraid for several seconds that the dream had been real—that she was gone. Then I saw Cass lying across from me, her green eyes glimmering in the moonlight coming in from above. I scrubbed a hand across my face.

“I never sleep,” I told her.

She smiled.

“I don’t know about that. You were sleeping when I woke up.”

I reached over and took her delicate hand in mine, bringing it to my lips.

“It’s because you’ve put a spell on me.”

Her expression shifted, and she pulled away. Without a word, she rolled over and pulled up the sheet.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, tracing a finger across the smooth skin of her back.

She shook her head.

“Cass, tell me.”

“No.”

I tensed.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“Well, I feel like I was impaled by a tree trunk, and I’m so sore I’m not going to be able to walk for a week. Other than that, I’m good.”

I smiled. Even when she drove me crazy, I still wanted every last piece of her. I closed the distance between us and slid my hand across her hip. She laughed, but it was laced with contempt.

“Right. Let me guess—you think you can win every argument with amazing sex or by being a stubborn dick.”

“Two of my favorite ways of winning an argument,” I said as I kissed her shoulder.

Not that I had ever kept the company of a woman long enough to have an argument with her. Not until Cass. She laughed before becoming quiet again.

“Do you really want to know?” she asked softly.

I let my fingers trail across her shoulder where my lips had been. Then I kissed the nape of her neck.

“I want to know everything about you.”

She rolled over and faced me.

“Why?”

Her cheeks were glistening with tears.

“I want to know everything about you for the same reason I married you—because you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved.”

Her lips parted, and she stared at me.

“Don’t say that,” she gasped.

“Why not?”

I caught her chin in my hand.

“Because you’re a
liar
. You
said
I was nothing to you.”

She jerked her face away from me, and this, I realized, was my karmic punishment for all the lies and half-truths I had ever told.