Jane Austen Stole My Boyfriend (11 page)

BOOK: Jane Austen Stole My Boyfriend
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‘Miss Jane!’ exclaimed Rosalie in a horrified voice, but Franklin just threw back his head and laughed so heartily that he set up an echo from the surrounding houses of Queen’s
Square.

But when we were delivered to the door of number 3, Laura Place, we were surprised to see four cocked hats lying on the table in the hall.

‘Military men!’ whispered Jane in my ear as the stately butler was escorting us towards the drawing room. Her delighted eyes were round and full of excitement. It looked as though
the supper party wasn’t going to be so dull, after all.

There were, indeed, four young men in the drawing room dressed in full regimentals. Jane’s eyes sparkled with delight when she saw them. They were all young and all handsome. I heard a
little gasp of surprise from behind me and whirled round to see Lavinia and Caroline Thorpe – again!

‘So you are Mr Leigh-Perrot’s little nieces. Which is which?’ Mrs Forster, an elderly white-haired lady, swept forward, her silk gown trailing on the expensive carpet.

‘I’m Jane Austen and this is Jenny Cooper.’ Jane gave a haughty stare at the two Thorpe girls, who were smirking as we were being introduced.

‘Both looking as shabby as servant girls,’ whispered Lavinia. I could tell that she intended the whisper to reach us but not Mrs Forster.

I curtsied to Mrs Forster and kept my eyes fixed on her. I had stood up to Lavinia and Caroline at the Assembly Rooms at Basingstoke, and I would stand up to them again if they tried to bully
me.

The girl at the piano turned out to be Frances Forster, and one of the military men, Colonel Forster, was her brother. Oh, and there was another girl, Charlotte Manners – very quiet, but
sensible-looking.

‘Now, my dears, let me introduce the gentlemen to you. This is Lieutenant Carter, Lieutenant Denny, Lieutenant Brandon and Colonel Forster, my grandson.’

‘La,’ said Jane, ‘a colonel! And so young! You are truly blessed in your grandson, ma’am,’ she said gravely to Mrs Forster.

Mrs Forster looked a little taken aback; Lavinia Thorpe sniggered and gave a sly look at her sister Caroline.

Colonel Forster, however, swept Jane a very deep bow. ‘You pay me too much honour, ma’am,’ he said respectfully.

‘Pray tell me, sir, how do you like Bath?’ enquired Jane in rather a middle-aged fashion.

‘Very well indeed, ma’am,’ he returned.

‘I mean to like it very much myself, but I have yet to make an appearance at the assemblies,’ said Jane coquettishly.

‘I feel quite assured that you will be a huge success, ma’am!’ Colonel Forster was a good-looking young man. The scarlet uniform suited his dark good looks and he had a
magnificent pair of grey eyes, fringed with jet-black lashes. He seemed amused by Jane, and I could see that Lavinia Thorpe had ceased to look scornful and now had an angry flush on her cheeks.

‘Pray, ma’am, do you plan to dance the minuet at the Assembly Rooms?’ Lieutenant Denny had left Caroline Thorpe’s side and joined his friend Colonel Forster.

‘I require some practice first, sir,’ said Jane. She sighed. ‘Alas, I live in the depths of the countryside and I haven’t danced the minuet for many a long
year!’

‘Oh, we can’t have that,’ said Colonel Forster. His face was very serious, but his large grey eyes were full of laughter. ‘Grandma, you will play a minuet for us,
won’t you? Denny, Carter, Brandon, move the furniture back like good fellows.’ He swept Jane a low bow and said, ‘Pray take my hand, ma’am.’

Jane curtsied. ‘I’m vastly obliged to you, sir.’ Her eyes had a wicked glint in them as they flicked towards Lavinia Thorpe, but she wore a demure smile as she went
forward.

Jane, of course, is an expert dancer, and Eliza had taught us both the minuet, but Jane artistically made a few errors and all in all she managed to keep both lieutenant Denny and Colonel
Forster busy instructing her until supper was announced.

After supper – which was quite a fun meal with Colonel Forster and the three lieutenants exchanging witticisms with Jane – Mrs Forster suggested that Frances might like to bring the
young ladies to her bedroom to freshen up and tidy their hair and the girl took us off. She was quite friendly to me but very cold to Jane. Lieutenant Denny had been sitting by the piano next to
her when we arrived, but had deserted to instruct Jane in the minuet. Charlotte asked us a few polite questions about what it was like to live in the country, but she didn’t seem
interested.

The two Thorpe girls just scowled at us both.

‘How are you enjoying Bath?’ I asked Lavinia, in an effort to make conversation.

‘What concern is that of yours?’ she replied with a sneer.

‘Tch,’ said Jane reprovingly, clicking her tongue in a motherly way. ‘Dear girls, you are shortly to enter the world where you will meet with many wonderful things; let me warn
you against suffering yourselves to be meanly swayed by the follies and vices of others!’

‘You are so ridiculous, Miss Jane Austen,’ said Lavinia, turning away disdainfully. ‘My dear creature,’ she said to Frances, linking her arm affectionately, ‘pray
take no notice of those foolish girls. Let’s go back to the drawing room.’

‘Oh yes, let’s,’ said Jane enthusiastically. ‘I can’t wait to dance with Colonel Forster again.’

‘Just you watch out, Jane.’ Caroline’s face was blotched with angry red patches. She plucked at Jane’s sleeve to delay her and hissed, ‘Colonel Forster is my
sister’s beau. Don’t you go stealing him!’

‘As if she could,’ said Lavinia disdainfully, turning back. She shifted her glance from Jane to me and muttered. ‘Jenny, you’re just as plain as ever. Do you think that
you will ever grow?’

I could feel Jane stiffen by my side, but I put a hand on her arm.

‘Don’t, Jane,’ I said. ‘Perhaps these girls can’t help being ill-bred. They may never have learned proper manners. We have to remember how lucky we have been with
our good upbringing. Pray let us go back with no more hard words spoken.’

Lavinia’s shocked expression was so amusing that I entered the drawing room with a smile stretching from ear to ear. Lieutenant Carter was at my side instantly.

‘I say, what a beautiful smile. You must favour me with this dance, Miss Cooper.’

Not just Colonel Forster but also Lieutenant Denny came forward to claim Jane’s hand.

‘Pulling rank on me, old boy, aren’t you?’ said the lieutenant cheerfully as Jane went off triumphantly on the colonel’s arm.

So Jane and I lined up for a country dance, and Lieutenant Denny asked Frances to dance. Lieutenant Brandon looked in a worried way at the remaining girls, but as Charlotte was the only
agreeable-looking one of the three, he bowed before her. Both Lavinia and Caroline were left to gaze out of the window.

When the dance was finished Lavinia came up to us. She ignored me and just spoke directly to Jane.

‘Come into the bedroom,’ she said abruptly.

‘Certainly,’ said Jane. The light of battle sparkled in her eyes. She went eagerly forward with the two Thorpe girls. I followed unwillingly behind. I could not desert Jane, though I
don’t like quarrelling.

‘Now look here, Miss Jane Austen,’ said Lavinia aggressively when the door had closed behind us. ‘I don’t suppose you are going to the Assembly Rooms tomorrow, but if you
are and you dance even one dance with Newton Wallop, then you’ll be sorry.’

‘Oh, will I?’ enquired Jane in a surprised tone. ‘Well, I suppose that I might. He’s not a great dancer and he may stand on my foot. Is that what you mean?’

‘You know perfectly well what I mean,’ hissed Lavinia, turning an ugly shade of red. ‘I’m warning you.’

‘You keep warning me,’ complained Jane. ‘I wish you’d tell me what you are going to do. And then I could decide if it’s worth dancing with Newton –
that’s if he is going to be at the Assembly Rooms.’

‘I’m going to tell all Bath about you,’ hissed Lavinia. ‘I shall tell them that you come from a beggarly family and that you are just desperately trying to find a rich
husband. I’ll tell that you are determined to steal other girls’ beaux and that no one can trust you.’

‘Thank you,’ said Jane gravely. ‘I’m glad to know that you are more interested in Newton than you are in Colonel Forster. Now I know which one to concentrate on.’
She smiled sweetly at Lavinia and swept past her, saying, ‘Come on, Jenny, I must keep in practice.’

And she went straight over to Colonel Forster and asked him to tell her all about his regiment. Soon the small crowd of military men were gathered around Jane and myself, while the other girls
pretended to be interested in some books of artworks.

And then Franklin and Rosalie arrived to escort us back.

And the four officers decided that they had to go also!

Jane has just woken up and asked me what I am writing. I told her that I had just written about the party last night and warned her that Lavinia Thorpe would probably tell the whole of Bath that
she was a dreadful flirt.

‘Don’t care,’ was Jane’s answer to that. ‘I mean to have hundreds of beaux before our holiday in Bath is over.’

Poor Harry, if he is interested in Jane – I don’t think that he has much of a chance, I thought, but I didn’t say anything.

Jane has just given me this, saying, ‘You know you are my best friend. I promise to dedicate a whole volume of my writings to you.’

The Assembly Rooms at Bath

Jane and I are dressing for the ball at the Upper Assembly Rooms. Mrs Leigh-Perrot sends up her own maid to help us, but we are almost ready by the time she arrives. We are in
our chemises, waiting until the last moment to put on our beautiful ball dresses – both made from the same material: a gorgeous sprigged muslin, whiter than snow and with tiny sprays of
silver dotted all over it.

Each of them is made in the latest fashion, fitting the figure softly, tied with a sash under the bosom and then flowing out into a train behind. My train has some exquisite blue glass beads
sewn to it – they were part of my mother’s wedding gown and she had saved them for my first ball gown – but otherwise the gowns are the same.

‘Let me fix that curl for you, miss,’ says Rosalie after admiring our dresses. She is obviously skilled at hairdressing because she reties my side curls into a beautiful bunch on top
of my head and fastens the blue velvet rose to them with great dexterity. Afterwards she pulls one short curl out from the bunch and allows it to rest on my forehead and fastens the gold chain
around my neck. I gaze into the looking glass and admire the beautiful cross studded with tiny seed pearls that Thomas gave me for my birthday.

Then Rosalie does Jane’s hair, fastening her chignon with a red velvet rose, and helps us both to pull our gowns very carefully over our heads.

‘Don’t worry about partners, girls,’ says Aunt Leigh-Perrot kindly after we have been admired. ‘The master of ceremonies at the Assembly Rooms, Mr King, is very good
indeed about finding partners for visitors. He is a great friend of mine and we can rely on him finding a pair of suitable young men.’ I can see Uncle just about to open his mouth and tell
about the young man we met at the Pump Room yesterday morning so I quickly ask whether we will walk to the Assembly Rooms.

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