Jane Doe No More (51 page)

“Donna was lucky that she had a strong family, a loving husband,” Maureen Norris later said. “This sort of thing would have destroyed other families—
certainly
other marriages.”

A week before Thanksgiving, Sue Simpson contacted Donna with a request. Sara James, the
Dateline
correspondent who would conduct Donna’s interview on air if she agreed, wanted to meet with Donna, answer any questions, and talk things through. James, a seasoned journalist and popular NBC personality who had been with
Dateline
since 1994, was prepared do whatever she could to help ease Donna’s mind. James was no talking head or television figurine with a pretty face placed in front of a camera because she looked the part. She had won an Emmy award, several Gracies, and a Headliner, among others. Ironically, James had scooped up the Headliner award in 2004 for a
Dateline
segment she did on the last September 11 victim to be released from the hospital—a segment titled “Meet Jane Doe.”

The meeting went well. James was sincerely interested in Donna’s Jane Doe No More cause and listened empathetically as Donna sat and talked about what she wanted to do. In the end, Donna walked away from the meeting feeling good about appearing on
Dateline,
yet she still had several concerns she needed to work out with Simpson, in writing, before she would officially agree.

This scared me terribly, as anyone might imagine. I believed it was the right thing to do. Still, I had been Jane Doe for so long. I felt ready to come out, yet my husband had reservations and my family was growing increasingly concerned. I was impressed by Sara James’s and Sue Simpson’s professionalism during that lunch . . . so in the end, I decided the hour had come for me to help victims. It was that, or all of the suffering I had gone through would have been for nothing. It was time for me to step out from behind the Jane Doe curtain. Among the things I insisted on with agreeing to the interview was to dovetail the airing of the segment with the launch of the Jane Doe No More initiative.

Maureen Norris had been there for Donna throughout the past ten-plus years. When it came time for Donna to decide on doing
Dateline,
she went to Maureen for both legal and personal advice.

“I felt that it was Donna’s decision,” Maureen said later. “If she felt that’s what she needed to do—come out as Donna Palomba and not Jane Doe on national television—and she felt strong enough to do it, then she should. Look, she made a big decision that she was no longer going to hide behind a curtain . . . and, in the end, it was great for her. I think it kind of stopped her from feeling like she had done something wrong.”

It empowered Donna and allowed her to take back her life, which, in turn, opened her heart, mind, and soul and allowed her to help others.

“She had felt that this had happened to her for a reason,” Maureen added. “And maybe that reason was that she had to fight for other people.”

After rescheduling the
Dateline
interview because of a terrible bout with the flu (which must have scared Simpson into thinking Donna was getting ready to bow out), on February 9, 2006, Donna and John met with correspondent Sara James at an inn near their home.

John and I sat next to each other as John was interviewed. It was very emotional for both of us. John was choked up as he talked about the struggle between his spiritual and human side. He relayed that story of when he went for a walk with [his friend] one night and said that he had to kill Rocky. They interviewed John for a couple of hours. He left, and we broke for lunch. Then it was my turn, and I was interviewed for about three hours. I felt that it went well, but by the end I was completely drained and felt like I didn’t talk enough about the initiative. I also did not talk about the policy and procedure changes I was after—and the fact that pursuing the Jane Doe No More initiative and having something good come from something so evil has been a part of my healing. But it was done, and I had to let go. Above all, I wanted it to be a story about hope, and I believe that came through.
^*****

Fourteen months went by before the
Dateline
episode (titled “The Man Behind the Mask”) aired. Donna did not come out as herself for the first time on the
Dateline
episode. Her big reveal from behind the Jane Doe mask came on Friday, April 27, 2007, on NBC’s
Today
show to promote the
Dateline
episode airing that Sunday night. Donna had been told on the Wednesday before, April 25, that she was scheduled to be live on air with Meredith Vieira during the highly rated 7:35 a.m. slot.

“It really shook me,” Donna said. “The thought of being live in front of what was then the largest audience on network news television was intimidating.”

They aired a two-minute set-up piece ( footage from the
Dateline
show that was to air on Sunday), and I asked that the monitor not be in my view. They obliged, but I could hear the audio, and it startled me, especially the clip from the 911 call. As it was happening, I could look outside the studio and see the crowd of people (mostly women) gathered in the street. They were simultaneously watching the video clip and watching me sit with Meredith, waiting to be interviewed. They saw that I was startled, and the crowd began to give thumbs-up and many of them put their hands over their hearts in an expression of love. It was really wonderful, and I knew instantly that I had made the right decision.

The two-hour
Dateline
segment brought in nearly eight million viewers that Sunday night, April 29, 2007. It was one of the highest ratings
Dateline
had seen in years. Donna’s JaneDoeNoMore.org website took tens of thousands of hits after the episode. Many victims/survivors of sexual assault and rape shared their wrenching stories of being raped and not believed on the JaneDoeNoMore.org message board. There was hope in many of the posts, not simply despair and pain. It was as if the victims who were out there feeling alone now had someone listening and fighting for them. Survivors of rape had a voice. There was a place on the web they could congregate and talk. Donna had achieved one of her foremost goals: to get the word out that victims of rape and sexual assault should not feel alone or condemned because somebody didn’t believe their stories, or they were too afraid to come forward.

Donna’s message to first-time visitors on the site was pure and on point.

Jane Doe No More is born out of my experience as a victim of sexual assault. Crime is an unfortunate reality in today’s society, and I was unprepared for what was ahead after the attack as, I believe, is the case with most victims. I was mistreated by the very system put in place to “protect and serve” the innocent. On top of the pain and suffering associated with the crime, the abuse afterward rendered the healing process all the more difficult.