Jane's Long March Home (11 page)

Sighing heavily, she disconnected the call. It wasn’t the first time she’d delivered bad news, nor would it be the last. It was just that after the way they’d stood by her at the campsite, the kids deserved more than finding out their dream of finding their father was a dead end.

She found them in the kitchen. Chase was at the stove fixing dinner. The smell of sizzling hamburgers and fried potatoes saturated the air. Gus and Zach were starting up a game of checkers.

Chase laughed at something Abby said, and just for a moment, Jane didn’t want to deliver the news that would shatter this cozy picture. The chatter died as they looked at her expectantly.

There was no way to soften the blow, so Jane squared her shoulders and gave it to them straight. “I talked to my Corporal back at the base. Six months ago, Captain Jack Malone was killed when his helicopter went down in Afghanistan. He’s survived by his ex-wife and two children.”

Matching shocked expressions tore at her heart. They were too young and innocent to be dealt this blow. A feeling of kinship caught her breath. She softened her voice. “I’m so sorry.”

“He’s dead,” Zach muttered, shock spreading across his young face. His shoulders dropped. Lips trembled before he pressed them firmly together.

Fat tears welled up in Abby’s eyes as she ran as best she could to throw her arms around her brother’s neck.

Gus swore under his breath.

Jane set her jaw, refusing to look at Chase. “Do you have any other relatives? An aunt, or uncle?”

“There’s no one.” Zach’s chin dipped to the top of his sister’s head.

They were all alone now. She knew what that felt like. Not sure what else to do, she moved to grab them and offer what comfort she could. Chase beat her to it, placing a steady hand on their shoulders.

“Zach, what are we going to do?” A watery hiccup escaped Abby as she looked up with anxious eyes at her brother. Tears that wrenched Jane’s gut, slid down the little girl’s face.

She’d meant to stay uninvolved, keep her side of the bargain with Zach, nothing more, but how could she make this right for them? She had nothing to offer. She wasn’t one of those women who could skillfully pull maternal sympathy out of her over-large handbag, or who innately knew how to make a child feel better when their world came crashing at their feet. Damn it, she couldn’t even keep her own world from falling apart.

“You’ll stay here with me.” With those five, precious words, Chase did what she couldn’t. He rode to the rescue, grabbed hold of two lost lives and brought them out of the storm to safety.

Jane’s panic button went off, and not in a post-traumatic-I’m-having-a-panic-attack way either. Struck by an overpowering urge to run, fast and as far away as she could get, she wondered if she’d just witnessed one of those miracles Sister Mary Margaret had always talked about; the ones Jane didn’t believe in, at all.

Before she’d joined the Corps, she’d longed for just such a family. She’d thought she’d found it within the community of Marines, but standing here watching the three of them, she realized that elusive dream of having her own family, a mom and dad who loved their children more than anything else? It was dangling right in front of her nose.

Now that she looked back on her time with Linus in Madrid, she realized that was exactly what she’d tried to do with him. Make a family. She hadn’t been aware of it until just this minute, and she’d gone about it all wrong, but...

Was this the missing piece all along? Chase and these two kids who needed him, and maybe her too?

She tromped solidly on the ridiculous notion that with her lack of experience in this particular area, she would ever qualify to be part of a normal family. Despite the lock-down she forced on her emotions, the old yearnings surfaced.

Chase’s gaze collided with her's, included her, offered safe harbor.

She stood at a crossroad. To the right was the life she knew, the one she was desperate to return to. To the left was quite possibly everything she’d never allowed herself to dream of. A family of her very own. A home filled with warmth and laughter. A lifetime snuggled up in the arms of that one special man who made a girl’s heart beat like thunder.

But, Jane knew fairy tales did not come true. At least not for her.

Zach and Abby and Gus, they belonged here on this ranch. Her life was the Marine Corps, three thousand miles away.

Regret stole into her heart. The kids needed Chase much more than she did. She’d done a good thing. Managed to find a bit of redemption by playing a small roll in helping to keep them safe. She would have to be content with that.

It was safer that way. Much safer than watching Chase maneuver the kids away from their shock.

“There’s going to be a rodeo with a barbecue and dance in Lone Pine tomorrow. How about we all go?”

Chase wrapped her in an illusion she had to reject.  

“I guess.” The misery in Zach’s sunken shoulders was mirrored in his sister’s down-turned mouth. It was enough to rattle Jane’s resolve.

Chase turned the suffering kids so he could squat in front of them. “I’m sorry about your Dad. It’s not what we’d hoped to find. If it’s okay, I have a friend who can make it possible for you to stay here as long as you want.”

Zach’s gaze snapped up from the fists he’d made in his lap.

If the Corps didn’t already have dibs on her, Jane would have snatched the man by his lapels, begging him to let her stay and become a part of this little family he was gathering to his heart.

Abby came up with her own solution, scaring the crap out of Jane. “You and Miss Jane could adopt us.”

Chase’s eyes swiveled in her direction, causing her heart to tumble over the cliff she teetered on. “I was thinking more along the lines of being your foster parent, but adoption's an option, too.”

 In a heartbeat, the emotional distance she’d worked so hard to maintain evaporated. Chase Russell was something else. What was he going to do? Take in every stray adult and child that came his way?

She’d been scheming for him to keep the kids on a permanent basis, but adoption hadn’t crossed her mind. She didn’t dare hope for something that lasting for Zach and Abby.

She'd never forgotten what it felt like to have her hopes of a real family dashed against the realities of life. Surprising anticipation skimmed down her back at the questioning challenge springing at her from Chase’s cinnamon eyes.

Did she have what it took to see this through? To do what she was suddenly afraid he wanted her to do?

She shook her head. She was leaving. Zach and Abby would be much better off if she quashed this insane idea right now.

When she opened her mouth to do just that, she couldn’t find the words that would disappoint the two kids gazing at her with stark longing. Neither could she admit her growing feelings for the man staring at her as though he understood every inch of the struggle she was going through.

CHAPTER

XII

T
he next day, after leaving Gus in the stockyard swapping tales with his cronies, Jane took in the view of Chase’s backside as he found seats for them across from the announcer’s booth, where they could easily see the riding events.

He was dressed casually in a blue tee shirt that showed off the well-defined muscles of his chest. Jeans sat low on his narrow hips causing her to drool in the most unladylike manner. Sexy cowboy boots had her catching her breath, the image of tall, dark and too cocky playing havoc with her desire to go home and forget the guy.

She’d spent a restless night circling her options, and she’d acknowledged some hard truths. She hoped Chase
could
adopt Zach and Abby, not just be their foster parent. Deep down inside, she wanted to be a part of what he was doing here on the ranch, but Scott’s visit had shown her one thing.

She missed her life in the Corps. In that place, she knew who she was, and what to expect. Her days there were measured and routine. There were no surprises.

A Marine through and through, she liked that about herself. Yes, she’d stumbled for awhile, but she was getting a handle on that.

 And these feelings roaming in her chest for Chase? They were too overwhelming; left her too unsettled.

With the sun hanging high in a clear blue sky, she sat beside him on the hard bleachers. She could smell anticipation in the air as the stands started to fill, and was just as thrilled as Abby when clowns, faces painted with a bright red smile on white faces, came into the ring. Even Zach dropped his discouraged air.

His amused gaze meeting hers over Abby’s head, Chase slipped off his sunglasses, hanging them in the neck of his shirt.

When it came time to go, she would, but, it couldn’t hurt to finish up her leave by enjoying herself. With this amazing man. And, with the kids. Could it?

“What are they doing?” Zach scooted to the edge of his seat, craning his neck to see the chute where a cowboy was carefully mounting a temperamental bull.

Chase cast her a speculative look that had Jane’s mouth going dry as desert sand. She barely resisted fanning herself; was strangely disappointed when he took his eyes off her to answer Zach’s question.

“This is the bull riding event. Those cowboys over there are going to see who can stay on the longest.”

 “Look. The clown. He waved at me!” Abby squealed in delight.

One minute she was there, using the top rail to steady herself as she waved at the clown. The next, even as Jane reached for the back of her shorts to hang on to the excited child, Abby yelped, tumbling over the rail into the arena.

The same instant, a horn blared. Locking mechanisms clanked open on the gate that held the first bull and its rider captive. The crowd roared.  

“Abby!” Her heart jumping to her throat, Jane threw herself over the railing. Caught at the waist, she hung upside down, barely keeping her feet planted while she reached down with both hands to grab the little girl. 

Abby's eyes went round with terror. Furious hooves pounded at Jane’s back. When she looked up, the clowns were shouting and waving their arms in an attempt to redirect the wild animal. Bucking his way in a cloud of spraying dust straight for them, his eyes blazing and his nostrils flaring, the animal paid no attention.

Terror lodged in her throat. “Abby! Grab my hands!”

Frantic to reach the frightened child before disaster struck in the form of a ton of angry bull, she scooted a little more onto the rail only to find herself perched precariously like a teeter-totter. Her heart thumping, all she could think of was preventing the animal from stomping Abby to death.

Stretching as far down as she could, she made one last grab for the child's outstretched hands. She hauled the child into her arms, but the law of gravity was against her, and they began a slow slide downward where she was sickly certain, within seconds, they would be trampled by maniacal hoofs.

She tried to curl her body around Abby.

Then strong hands, grabbed the back of her jeans. Chase reached over her shoulder, plucked Abby out of her arms as though the girl was a light-weight sack of potatoes.

“Oh no you don’t.” He plunked them both on the bench beside him to the wild applause of the spectators who’d witnessed the near catastrophe. “Didn’t you girls read the signs? No playing in the arena with the animals.”

The words were playful, but there was a steely look in Chase’s eyes that shook Jane’s control. His hands skimmed up and down her arms, waking a dangerous awareness she’d been trying desperately all day to ignore.

Beside her, Abby described her ordeal in delighted, bloodthirsty detail as though Zach hadn’t been right there to witness the whole thing. “That bull was running right at me.”

“How could I be so stupid,” Jane managed past the cold sweat chilling her in the mid-day heat. “She could have been killed.”

“She’s okay.” His hands settled possessively at her shoulders. “You scared the shit...that was a courageous thing you did.”

“Desperate is more like it.” She drew in a steadying breath. It wasn’t diving headfirst into an arena with an angry bull determined to stomp the life out of her that was giving her shivers now. It was the man looking at her as if he would be devastated if something terrible happened to her. “I was flat out afraid. If Abby had been hurt-”

Chase gently touched her face. “I thought Marines weren’t afraid of anything.”

For a long moment, Jane stared at him. Then the words tumbled out. “I’m always afraid.” She suppressed a shiver. “Afraid I won’t be there when it matters the most - that I don’t have what it takes to stick when things get tough.”

Russell tugged her close enough to feel the heat from his body. “You’re not your mother.”

With a sigh of relief, she rested her forehead against his shoulder. “No. I’m not.”

*

Later, when night had closed in on them, and the sight of Abby tumbling into the arena was beginning to fade, Jane settled at a table in the Thunder Room Bar. She rubbed the raw spot on her belly with her fingertips. When she caught sight of Chase making his way through the crowd carrying two beers, she wondered if the little frisson of awareness that struck every time he came near was always going to be there.

Watch it, Gunny. Proceed with caution.
 

After he’d pulled them out from under the bull’s raging hooves, there were no further incidents of the life-threatening variety, but there were plenty of fireworks that had nothing to do with the ones signaling the end of the rodeo events for the day.

Certainly being highly attracted to the man one was contemplating getting to know a whole lot better was a good thing. Being bowled over by said man, to the exclusion of common sense, was not to be allowed.

She had a mission in mind, if Chase was interested. The look he was giving her said he was. This wasn’t love, just two consenting adults coming together by mutual desire. She hoped. Then thought,
this is crazy!
 

“Your beer.” He placed a sweating glass in front of her.

“Thanks.” Forget wild monkey sex. For the rest of her leave it just would be nice to spend time with a man who wasn’t her therapist, and who didn’t think she was crazy. “Would this be a good time to tell you, you’re fired?”

His grin was spontaneous and sinful. “You don’t say.”

Jane relaxed into her seat grinning back at him. “I do say. I’m feeling better. More in control.”

She wasn’t sure how to put it into appropriate words, but she felt lighter somehow. Freer. Not so caged in or crazed. “Thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Then, you’re welcome. You’ve made a lot of progress since coming here. You'll still have spots of trouble, but I’m okay with sending you back to light duty.”

“That would be great.”

He lowered his gaze to the glass he was twisting in slow circles. “So, you’ll be leaving.”

She should. There was nothing to be gained by flirting with danger. Except, she had the leave coming. And, she should take advantage of the fact that Chase’s ranch
was
the perfect spot to take a vacation.

There were also the kids’ future to see about. She definitely wanted to know if he could pull off his promise to help them.

“If you don’t mind. I’d like to stay for awhile longer.”

He looked up at her, his slow grin returning. “I don’t mind.”

A minor earthquake rumbled in Jane's chest. This was not wise. The man was just too tempting for her military discipline to be of much use.

Ignoring the internal warning, she stood. “Do you want to dance?”

“Absolutely.”

The band was good, but not as good as the moment he pulled her into his arms and in a slow shuffle, skillfully guided her around the outskirts of the other dancers.

Tonight, she wasn’t the soldier down on her luck who’d arrived at the ranch two weeks or more ago. She was a woman enjoying an evening with a wickedly handsome man.

Ripples of pleasure skipped up her spine. There was just one tiny little problem. If she wasn’t careful, she could stay here, moving around the dance floor with him forever. But tonight, she didn’t care.

She rubbed at the slight ache starting to bloom in her hip. Not an overt movement, but one that caught her dance partner’s attention nonetheless.

“Your hip’s bothering you.”

In the last few days, there had been no pain, no limping, no need for her to massage the ache out. “Too much exercise, I guess.”

“I have just the fix for that.”

At his audacious grin, Jane thought,
I’ll bet you do.
 

*

Chase was pretty sure he wasn’t choosing the best course of action, but holding Jane close while she swayed loosely to the music had him thinking of something a little more energetic than dancing.

Of course ending up at a secluded hot springs wasn’t what he’d planned when he’d taken her to the bar. When Gus and Maxine had offered to take the kids to the youth dance, then home, he’d thought a quiet drink would take her mind off of the nearly tragic events earlier in the day. Then she’d fired him with that sassy smile, and all he could think about was all barriers had been eliminated.

From the moment he’d first set eyes on her, all dangerous-looking, furious at being forced to deal with what had happened, thinking she could take a swing at the world and forget the consequences, he’d wondered who the woman was beneath the tough Marine exterior.

He’d seen how being with Zach and Abby softened her in ways she probably wasn’t even aware of. And, he’d been slowly seduced by how she’d taken them under her wing, even though she didn’t want to. The way she’d become their champion when she was determined to be anything but, was the hardest to resist.

He parked by the hot springs he’d discovered on the BLM land bordering his ranch. Without taking his eyes off her, he reached into the back seat and grabbed the blanket he kept there. “Nature’s hot tub. A long soak will do wonders for your hip.”

Her elegant brows shot up. “If you say so.”

Her sky-blue eyes flashed another message entirely. His heart rate zoomed, flying high like a home run, hit out of the ball park.

When he climbed out of the rig, she was right behind him. A full moon softly lit the night, bathing her in a soft glow. He hesitated, wary of the reckless feelings that had driven him to bring her here.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t be tempted to do more than soak the lady’s sore hip. It was simply that he hadn’t engaged in recreational sex since he was a teenager. And, he had an uncomfortable feeling one fleeting, roll in the hay with Jane, or in this case, splash in the hot springs, wasn’t going to be enough.

She studied him for a long moment, as if to gauge his intentions. He didn’t know what they were either, but apparently making up her mind, she turned her back on him and began to strip off her shirt.

His response was automatic and instantaneous. In three long strides, he closed the distance between them, helping her pull the tank over her head. Taking his breath away, she faced him wearing a thin wisp of a lacy bra.

Curling her fighter’s hands in his tee shirt, with a sigh of pure womanly appreciation that knotted his gut with stirred-up passion, she returned the favor.

When a Marine took on an assignment, she followed it through to the end. Suddenly, more than life itself, Jane wanted this man’s lips on her and then some.

She laughed at herself. Some things in life were just too delicious to ignore. This moment with Chase Russell was one of them. She was done being the good girl. If life could wink out in the space of one heartbeat, then before it was her turn to go, she was going to break her own rules and be bad. Very bad. She would worry about the fallout later.

Quickly unlacing her boots, she sat to pull them off, stripped down to her underclothes before sliding into the steaming water. Welcoming the mini-wave that lapped her skin when Chase joined her, she sank up to her neck, leaned against smooth rock and closed her eyes for one blissful minute as the heated water gurgled along aching muscles.