Jane's Long March Home (14 page)

Chase understood it wouldn’t work, right? It was her bad luck that the man had grit, exuded it with a sexy, come-hither aura that drew her like a she-wolf to her mate. Whether he was helping Gus repair a fence, teaching Zach and Abby to ride horses, or talking a Marine off the ledge she’d backed herself onto - for those things alone, she could fall hopelessly in love with him.

Which was why she wasn't going to go there. The military, with its inherent long separations was not easy on a family no matter how much love was involved. If she took the risk, then lost Chase - because no matter how hard you tried, holding on to the one you loved the most didn’t work - it would literally kill her.

“It can’t work,” she told the gurgling water. “Thanks to Chase, I survived the last go around. But, one more hit like that, with a man I could honestly give my whole heart to, I won’t survive it.”

The water had no answers. Jane hung her head in acceptance. Better to keep their relationship on a casual, friendly, sexual-ships-passing-in-the-night level.

She would go home, get back into the swing of things, and forget all about her little interlude with the most spectacular man she’d ever met.

Jane mounted the Harley. It was too bad really, because if anyone could make a believer out of her, while at the same time cut through all that discouraging, social services red tape, it would be the man who was getting too close to her heart for comfort.

“Wouldn’t I love to stick around and see him do it,” she whispered to the bubbling pool.

*

Later that night, when the phone rang, Jane was sitting alone in the kitchen having one last cup of coffee before she turned in. She’d spent most of the afternoon after returning from the springs, implementing a workout regimen that would rival her early days in boot camp. When her leave was up, she was going to be physically, as well as mentally, ready to go back to work.

Gus had returned to his cottage after dinner, to hunker down to a John Wayne movie, he said. She’d read a few more chapters of Harry Potter to Zach and Abby, but Chase was noticeably absent, closeted in his office making calls.

None of their hearts had been in the story. She’d finished up by making sure the children got to bed without any mishaps.

Swallowing the last of her coffee, she drummed her fingers on the table. Really, she did trust Chase to do what was right for the kids.

When the phone rang again, unable to sit still any longer, she decided to check on his progress, telling herself it was all about Zach and Abby, and not about wanting to see if she could coax one of his crooked grins out of hiding.

The office door was opened a crack, his back to her as he stared out the window, the phone scrunched between his ear and shoulder. She leaned against the door frame. From her vantage point, she had a great view of the man, which she took advantage of. There was a good portion of the night left.

“There’s got to be a way.”

Dragging her gaze away from his perfect backside, she studied her cleanly trimmed fingernails.

“They said Goldie abandoned them.” Frustration rolled off his shoulders like a thick fog coming off a South Carolina bayou.

“They don’t want to go back to her.”

His back stiffened. Annoyance became anger. “I get it. She’s their mother and she has rights. But, don’t the kids have rights too?”

Pulling roughly on a piece of loose skin on one finger, Jane started to steam, too.

“I know the courts rarely find in favor of children in these cases.”

Her heart got heavy. What had she expected? One of those miracles? Zach and Abby didn’t stand a snowball’s chance.

A sniffle had her spinning around to find both kids right behind her. By the scared looks on their faces, she knew they’d been there long enough to overhear.

She glanced over her shoulder. Chase was still busy with his call. The siblings weren’t stupid. They’d had the score battered into them long ago.

She urged them toward the living room. “I thought you guys were in bed.”

“We couldn’t sleep.” Zach’s defiance was gone. All that was left was a frightened kid who didn’t know what to do next, or who to trust.

“Chase is doing the best he can.”

“Goldie’s not going to let us stay. Neither will a judge.” He faced her, his arm snaking around his sister’s slumped shoulders. “He’s going to send us back. It’s not fair.”

No it wasn’t. “You don’t know that.”

“I wish we could stay with you and Mr. Russell.” Abby’s brown eyes were awash in unshed tears. If wishes were currency... “You’d make the best mom.”

Uneasy at the little girl's assessment, Jane gulped back her own water-works. “Maybe things aren’t as bad as it sounded.”

She didn’t know what else to say; how to make what was most likely going to happen easier for Sergeant Malone's kids.

She knelt, pulled them both tightly against her chest. When they clung to her, she cleared her throat and whispered roughly. “You’d better go to bed now.”

Shoulders sagging in resignation, Abby clung to Zach. They trudged up the stairs. Jane's heart literally broke.

When she’d first come to the ranch, she’d thought nothing could be more horrible than waking up in a Madrid hospital and being told by a harried doctor Linus was dead. And then, realizing it was her fault because she’d failed to do everything she could to keep him safe.

She was wrong. Watching Zach and Abby drag themselves up the stairs was by far much worse.

CHAPTER

XV

“I
’m not letting Zach and Abby go back to that woman.” Chase balled his fist. The hills on this side of the ranch were dark shadows beyond the illumination from the yard light. “There has to be a way to get a judge to see how dangerous it is to give them back to her.”

On the other side of the line, Beth heaved a sigh. “Unlikely, but worth a try. What do Zach and Abby want to do?”

Chase had no intention of telling his friend what Abby’s wish list included. “Do you know a judge who would be sympathetic to their case? I want custodial guardianship.”

“Let me work on it.”

After Beth hung up, he returned to his desk, swiping from his mind the murmur of Jane’s voice as she’d read to the kids earlier that night. He’d wanted to join them, sit at her feet and give into the illusion that whatever was happening between the two of them was something special.

He thumped his fist on the desk. It
was
something special. At least to him it was.

He massaged the back of his neck. It'd been hard not to go to her, but he couldn’t forget the look on her face when the kids asked why they didn’t get married. And, the sight of her recklessly pushing the Harley to its top speed, in an effort to get as far away from the debacle in the house as she could, stayed with him.

He wished he could call her a coward for that. Instead, all he wanted was to snatch her up and tell her everything was going to be okay.

But, how could he make that promise? Maybe marriage right this minute wasn’t the right answer, but it hadn’t taken him two shakes of a lam's tail to realize that was in fact what he wanted. Spending the rest of his life waking up to Jane would be pure heaven. Giving her family, growing old with her, icing on the cake. 

He’d let ego get in the way, hadn’t offered one convincing reason why they should give it a try. And, before he could make it right, explain they were more than two people offering comfort to one another at a time when they both needed the warmth of someone who understood and cared, she’d taken off.

There had to be a way to keep the Marine in the game long enough to get her to switch teams. Satisfied that he a direction to go in, nebulous though it was, he went to work on the kids with renewed purpose.

Half an hour later, Gus interrupted. “I’m heading over to Maxi’s. She needs some help birthing one of her horses.”

From the day he’d hired Gus to help with the restoration of the ranch, Chase had found a good friend in the older gentleman. Before he could rein in his curiosity, his mouth got away from him. “You’re sweet on the lady, aren’t you?”

His foreman turned red, but stepped further into the room. “Same as you’re sweet on Miss Jane.”

Sweet on Miss Jane? Wasn’t that the truth. Heaven help him.
 

Chase smiled ruefully. “Jane’s not interested. Seems to me Maxine is though.”

“Maybe. Maxi was my wife’s best friend. Donna’s been gone six years now. It’s been lonely for both of us since she passed on.”

He didn’t know what made him ask, except all of a sudden he wanted to know how an older man with more experience went about courting a woman. “Are you going to ask her out for dinner?”

Gus snorted. “Have you asked Miss Jane out?”

Not if you didn’t count their drink in the bar after the rodeo, but it was a little late for conventional dating. They’d gone from,
may I have this dance
, straight to sending rockets to the moon. “No.”

“That’s probably a good thing. She’d likely turn down an ugly fella like you, anyway.” Humor sparked the old gent’s eyes before they went as serious as a papa wolf protecting his pup. “That gal’s been hurt real bad. She needs gentle handling and a lot of understanding...I’m thinking about asking her to marry me.”

He almost swallowed his tongue. “Jane?”

“Maxi.”

Chase released his breath. Gus and Maxine Connor. He hadn’t seen that one coming. “Good luck to you.” And, he meant it.

“Maybe you’re of a mind to settle down too. Young man like yourself should have a wife and family by now.” With a wink, Gus sauntered out and not long after, his handyman’s old pickup rattle by on the way to Maxine’s.

Thinking about Gus’ less than subtle hint, he closed down his computer, turned out lights, and went upstairs to his room.

Maybe a good night’s sleep would clear his thinking. But, when he climbed into bed, he missed having Jane next to him. Holding her. Getting familiar with the softness of her skin. Discovering what intimacies made the blue of her eyes burn hot like the flame of an acetylene torch.

Frustrated on more than one level, he groaned, flipped off the too warm covers, flopped onto his back, and started counting sheep.

Exhausted from a restless night, the next morning, he went to check on the kids. Zach and Abby were gone. Their meager clothes, everything. It was like they’d never occupied the spare room.

*

“There’s no sign of them.” Jane met Chase by his truck, drank in the pacing, worried man, praying the churning in her stomach would subside.

She should have known this was going to happen. Should have anticipated Zach and Abby’s desperation last night.

They were gone. She wasn’t going to be able to keep bad things from happening to them.

When she’d told Chase about the kids overhearing his telephone conversation, he’d sworn with a viciousness that warmed her heart. She was heading to search the barn next.

 But first, unable to stop herself, she leaned into him, stepping closer still when his hands grabbed her around the waist. “We’ll find them.”

“Of course we will,” he agreed gruffly as though he found it harder than she did to accept help. “Why in Sam Hill did they run? I told them I would work on a way to keep them.”

Jane stared into his troubled eyes, swallowing hard. “It had nothing to do with you. Trust is hard for people like Zach...and me.”

“You’re something special, you know that?”

He lowered his head until his lips brushed hers, but it wasn’t enough. Despite her earlier decision to keep things casual between them, Jane turned the press of their lips into something more demanding. Framing his face with her hands, she proceeded to kiss his socks off.

Quick enough, reason surfaced. She cleared the voracious need from her throat. “With Abby still in a cast, they can’t have gotten too far on foot.”

To keep from grabbing the delicious man again, she stuffed her hands in her jean pockets and stepped back. Her only excuse for this unmitigated hunger was she’d missed being in his bed last night.

“I’d better contact search and rescue; let Beth know they’re on the move.”

“I’ll take the bike out and check the roads.”

He cupped her cheek with one hand. “Thanks. I know how difficult this is for you.”

She swallowed hard at the gentle understanding in his touch. Turning quickly on her heels, she went into the barn. Anxious to get on the bike and ride, she pulled the Harley off its kick stand, pushing it toward the front of the building and freedom.

She was as bad as the kids. She knew exactly what they were feeling. The urge to start the engine, hop on and keep riding until she met the setting sun was overwhelming. A rustle up in the hayloft caught her scattered attention. Voices raised in angry whispers floated down to her.

She parked the bike, berating herself for being so taken up with her own anxiety, she hadn’t checked up there. “Zach? Abby?”

Footsteps shuffled to the ladder. Zach’s head and shoulders appeared in the opening. When he saw her, he came down, jumping from the last step.

“Where’s Abby?”

The boy kicked at the straw. “Up there. She won’t come down.”

Grabbing his shoulder, she checked him out head to toe. Thank God he was okay. She snagged his gaze. “You took all your things with you. Were you leaving?”

He nodded. “Before she went chasing after George, Goldie threatened to take Abby away and not tell me where she was. It’s my job to take care of my sister. I promised Pop I would. I can’t let Goldie have her again.”

She briefly closed her eyes. She’d thought she had it bad growing up without a family. How would it feel to be yanked from your sibling? It would feel like
she’d
felt when she lost Linus.

She drew in a deep breath. “You didn’t go far.”

“Abby wanted to say good-bye to the kittens. And then...I didn’t know where to go.”

“All right. Go tell Mr. Russell. He’s worried sick.”

Zach’s chin dropped to his chest. “He’ll want to get rid of us, won’t he?”

“No, Zach. He won’t. He’s in the house calling for help to look for the two of you.”

After the teen left the barn, she climbed into the hayloft. Unable to see Abby at first, she could hear the kittens and followed the soft mewing. The little girl was tucked behind a bale, holding one of the little marmalade cats snugly under her chin.

“Abby?” She sat on the floor next to the little girl, shaking off the horror of almost losing her. “What are you doing up here?”

“I don’t want to go back to Goldie. She’s not nice to Zach.” With a choked cry, Abby threw herself and the kitten into Jane’s arms.

Swallowing a lump of relief, she smoothed the child’s fine hair. “It'll be alright.”

“I’m scared.”

“Me, too. You scared the crap out of us, leaving like that. How was I, or Mr. Chase, to know something bad didn’t happen to you and Zach?”

Round sorrowful eyes flooded over. Abby smeared the trail of tears running down her cheeks with the back of her fist. “But, you’re a Marine, like my pop. You can't be scared.”

She shook her head at the child's reasoning. There was a time she'd thought the same thing. “Soldiers are afraid sometimes, too.”

Behind her came the soft scraping sound of Chase and Zach climbing into the loft. They sat next to her on the straw covered floor. Chase picked up two of the kittens and gave one to Zach.

“Why?” 

“Well, it’s hard to explain, but even though we try very, very hard to be good, there are times when it’s not enough, and we make a mistake.”

She looked over Abby’s head at Chase. What she saw shining in his cinnamon eyes ruffled her edges. Still she met the look head on. She’d been sent to the ranch to make sense of her troubled past. She wasn’t going to be afraid any longer.

She tightened her arms around the child in her lap. “I made a mistake, but I understand now, and it's time to move on.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I have to, baby.”

“You're going to protect us from the bad men. That’s what my pop told Zach and me.” Abby sniffled, entirely too grown up for her tender age. 

If she let herself, Jane could drown in the darkening eyes devouring her. “That's exactly right.”

“Can I write to you sometimes?”

Resting her chin on the top of Abby’s head, she finally broke free of Chase’s consuming gaze. “Yes, and I’ll write back.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

The familiar feeling of being buried alive hovered at the edge of her vision.

She was back in Madrid losing the life she’d known. But, she concentrated on how right it felt to be holding Abby. How her engines turned over when the Doc gave her
that
look, like he was now. The sharp, clean smell of stacked hay anchored her, along with the soft purring that came from the kitten Abby held.

Pushing the cloying feeling away, she took a steadying breath. Abby cuddled closer. Beside her, Zach shifted restlessly, burying his face in his kitten’s fur.

Jane didn’t hide from the memory that had her in its crushing, debilitating grip when she’d first arrived on Chase’s doorstep, so desperate for his help. She let herself see things as they were, finally accepting she couldn’t have done anything different.

Maybe, she hadn’t been discerning enough, was a little too trusting, too - not blind - but, involved in trying to give Linus a better life. With a little girl and a baby kitten settled comfortably on her lap, Jane suddenly realized she liked that about herself; wouldn’t change it after all.

Profound relief washed over her. She'd won the battle.  

The only regret she had was leaving behind this man in whose care she would place the children. It made her heart ache, but she couldn’t risk the loving, stable life he would give them by taking him into the soldier’s life she was heading back to.

Their gazes melded, Chase witnessed the moment his long legged, tough Marine emerged from the dust and smoke of her personal battle. Her victory swelled in his chest. A triumphant grin spread across her beautiful face. In the next instant, he recognized the decision that sprang into her baby blues.

They would see about that. No way in hell was he going to make it easy for her to walk away, but this was her moment, and he couldn’t be prouder.

Right then he knew nothing in his life was ever going to be the same. He’d been hit hard; fallen completely in love with an honor bound, courageous woman, who’d fought a desperate battle with the enemy and won.