Janette Oke (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-five

Motherhood

Janette and baby Terry had a perfect “honeymoon” together for about two weeks. Janette sat at the little kitchen table writing out thank-you notes, filled with the wonder of a brand-new life and having such a good child, while Terry slept peacefully in the small bassinet given by the friends at Beulah. No fussing. No problems. He simply ate and slept.

Then everything changed, and Janette suddenly found herself with a colicky baby. He began fussing routinely at about two in the afternoon and by four was crying loudly. She may have been able to deal with the baby had the situation not been further complicated by a group of Pioneer Girls who met at the small house each week at four o'clock.

Janette did not have a baby-sitter, and it became increasingly difficult to juggle a crying baby and run the program at the same time. As she ended each of these frustrating days, Janette felt drained and nearly sick.

Terry's fussing got worse and worse through the evening hours until both he and his mother were exhausted, usually somewhere around midnight. Many nights Janette slept with him on her stomach, the warmth of her body hopefully easing the pains in his little tummy.

Sunday school class was another problem. Again, Janette had Terry in tow. There simply were not enough adults to teach the classes and provide a sitter. Most Sundays she and her baby fared well, but if he decided to be fussy, they were both miserable.

Janette was trying hard to accomplish her household and church-related tasks, all the while endeavoring to soothe her baby's discomfort. Often she would just manage to get Terry to sleep when the phone would ring and he would awaken and cry again.

And though it was well intentioned, the “advice” she received left her confused and frustrated. The first phone call would say to switch the baby to formula. Then the next caller would state emphatically, “Whatever you do, don't put him on the bottle.” Though not aware of it at the time, Janette—a new mother—was undoubtedly tense after having lost her first baby. So all the conflicting tips simply couldn't be shrugged off as they might have been during better times.

To make matters worse, she was on her own. Edward was extremely busy with church duties, and Janette was trying hard to fulfill her role as pastor's wife. The closeness they had shared after having lost their first baby was suddenly gone in the face of all of the responsibilities and duties.

With Janette's difficulties, and the pressures on Edward, they both were near exhaustion. Edward confessed to having even fallen asleep in his little church office. Janette had no such quiet place to hide.

“Little sister” Margie had graduated from Bible College and gone to work. In due time she began to accept calls from a fellow student from Mountain View Bible College. Janette was totally in favor and had already decided that the young man, Wilfred Wiens, would make a great match for Margie. They set their wedding date for December 28, and the family enthusiastically joined in with the preparations.

Janette had volunteered to bake cookies and squares for the reception, but Terry refused to cooperate. Still crying from his tummy aches, he insisted on Mommy's attention while she tried to concentrate on rescuing cookies from the oven before they burned.

Gradually the cookie tins filled up, and the fussing baby was none the worse for his fretting. Janette's nerves were a little frayed—but that eventually righted itself as well. They joined the family for the winter wedding, and Terry was fairly comfortable during the special day.

In his sixth month, Terry became ill and lost a little weight, which was quite a switch for the rapidly growing boy. Finally he was switched to formula, and though there was no way to be sure if the formula had been part of the solution, from then on he began to get over the colic. It was a relief to get a proper night's sleep again.

As Terry left colic and illness behind, motherhood became the wonder of childish accomplishments that Janette had dreamed it would be. Terry was energetic and advanced in many ways. With pride Janette pulled out his baby book and recorded each new milestone: when he began to talk, to walk, and to interact with his world around him, like standing little animals on his high-chair tray, and stacking his building blocks. Following Ma-ma and Da-da, two of his first words were “tractor” and “flower.” A rather unusual combination, but Grandpa Oke sold tractors and Mommy loved flowers.

One hot summer Sunday, Terry was sick. Janette knew he had a fever but she had no one to substitute as teacher for her class, so she was forced to attend church anyway. After Sunday school he seemed even worse, so she decided to take him home.

Too late she realized that Edward had the only car keys and the service was about to begin. Edward was already on the platform and there was no way to get his attention without disturbing the entire service. So there was nothing for her to do but to walk home, carrying her sick baby.

The long blocks stretched on and on as Janette juggled Terry first against one shoulder, then the other. The day was so hot, and Terry, who quickly fell asleep, was heavy. She was sure she would never make it home. Finally she arrived, arms aching, face flushed. Terry, with medication, soon got over his “bug,” as babies so quickly do.

Baby Terry walked at eight months. Before he was two he recognized many songs and choruses, could name all the animals in his picture books, and could count to ten. Janette quietly glowed with pride. She thought he was pretty smart indeed.

Besides all the new tricks, he was a fun child, usually happy and outgoing. He was very active, and people used to laugh and say, “Aren't you glad he isn't twins?” But Janette would just smile sweetly.

Edward had more seminary work to finish, so in the spring of 1962, he left for Indiana to complete the work—alone. Janette stayed behind to pack up for the move. After being in Montgomery for two years, they had accepted a call to the Edmonton church, farther north but also closer to her home.

Janette's sister Jean stayed with them off and on at the time. She had recently had cancer surgery and was in Calgary taking treatments at the cancer clinic. Jean shared little about how sick she felt from the treatments, and it was only later that Janette learned how difficult it had been for her sister. Janette and Terry would drive Jean over to the clinic and sit in the car until she was finished. While they waited, Janette kept Terry entertained, and then they would all return to the parsonage.

When the time neared for Edward to return home, Janette was to drive to Indiana to spend some time with friends while Edward finished up his summer school; then they would return to Alberta together. This meant that all their household belongings had to be packed before she left so the moving truck could pick them up after she had gone. Together she and Jean finished the busy task.

When it was time for Janette to begin the long trip to Indiana, Jean was not quite finished with her treatments. So she and Orville stayed on in the parsonage, then finished packing the last of the dishes and furniture that they had needed for their stay and did the final cleaning of the home for its next occupant. The pastor's wife who followed said that she had never moved into such a thoroughly cleaned house, and Janette knew that Jean deserved much of the thanks.

Janette planned to pick up the last paycheck from the church, pay off the final utility bills, and use the remainder of the money for the trip to the U.S. It sounded like a good plan.

However, once the bills had been paid, Janette discovered that she had only about sixteen dollars left. Even in 1961 this was not much money, and she knew she could be in for trouble. They had a gas credit card, but that wouldn't pay for food and overnight lodging—and there was always a chance of unexpected expenses.

Janette was to spend one night with Edward's parents before leaving, and she knew that if she asked Dad Oke for money he would gladly help out. Both he and Mother Oke had been wonderfully generous and often helped them over the years while the young couple was getting established in the ministry. But Janette hated to ask.

She worried a bit, prayed even more, and then around four o'clock in the afternoon began the almost-two-thousand-mile drive with a gas credit card and sixteen dollars. Her friend Eleanor Quantz, who planned to spend some time visiting friends in Indiana, traveled with her and helped with the driving. Eleanor, too, had a little money—about thirty dollars.

Janette brought one of Jean's growing boys along to entertain Terry, who was now eighteen months and very active. Terry and the young boy played in the back while Janette and Eleanor did the driving. Since there were no car seats for the baby, he was allowed to bounce quietly on the seat, or climb onto David's lap for a story, or press his nose against the window to watch the scenery.

They drove the loaded car straight through the first night, then continued on until late afternoon of the next day. When they stopped for an early night at a little motel, Terry sprinted from the car like a wild thing released from a cage, stretching his chubby little legs as he ran and ran on the soft green lawn.

The next day they arrived in Chicago at June and John's home, spending the night there. They were almost to Indiana and the sixteen dollars was stretching just fine. The shared motel room and light meals for David, Terry, and herself were all Janette had needed to pay for.

But when they were ready to leave Chicago, it was discovered that, through some confusion, the car keys had been locked in the trunk in a small suitcase. They had to call the city police for help. On arriving and surveying the situation, the officer finally decided to remove the backseat from the vehicle and crawl through in search of the case that held the keys. Embarrassed though she was, Janette was truly relieved to be on the road once again.

In Indiana they met Edward and stayed at the home of some friends. The Freeds were away at the time, and it was a relief to have a place where they could spread out and feel at home.

Again, confusion led to trouble, this time with more serious consequences. Janette had kept her small suitcase locked because it contained children's aspirin. Edward was not aware of this, and after taking something from the suitcase, he had left it open.

Terry found the suitcase—and the aspirin. He remembered the taste of the little “chewies” from times past and proceeded to help himself. When they discovered him and the bottle, they were aghast, not certain how many he had eaten.

They phoned Dr. Middleton, who told them, “You'd better get him to the hospital.”

No longer being U.S. residents, they did not have insurance to cover their costs—and what was left of the sixteen dollars would not begin to cover a hospital bill. When they arrived with Terry at the emergency room, they discovered a friend from the Beulah Missionary Church was on duty.

He tried to get Terry to bring up the pills, but to no avail. His small body refused. After several attempts, they decided that stomach pumping was the only alternative.

“I think you need to take a walk,” their friend, Virgil, warned. “Mothers shouldn't be here when we do this.” And it was good advice. They could still hear their small son from across the hospital parking lot.

Even after the stomach pumping, Terry's blood showed a large amount of aspirin. The hospital did let his parents take him home, but when he awoke from his afternoon nap, his bed was drenched with perspiration. Otherwise, he seemed to suffer no further effects from the incident, and the generous friend who had given him the necessary care asked for no payment for his services.

As is often the case on vacations and family visits, Janette, who was so proud of Terry and anxious to show him off to her Indiana friends, found him uncooperative. Her normally good-tempered, friendly little son had turned into some kind of little monster. He would cry for food, but when Janette gave him some, he would chew it up and spit it out. Then he would begin crying for more. She felt embarrassed—and disappointed. Their friends were not seeing the real Terry.

While they were having dinner with the Middletons, Terry repeated the same scene, only this time a doctor was watching.

“I think that boy has a problem,” Dr. Middleton said and told Janette to bring him to her office. Sure enough, he had a sore throat and ear infection. Medication quickly cleared it up, but by then it was time to head for home.

With Edward to help with driving, they drove straight through on the way home—Edward needed to be back in time for his ordination service. They made it, a little frayed around the edges but, nevertheless, they were there—and on time. Edward was ordained at a service of the annual camp meeting in Didsbury. They took up residence in the Edmonton parsonage, and Edward began his ministry.

Moving in with a nearly two-year-old was an all-consuming experience. Janette was happy to see that the new home had a nice board fence all around the backyard. With a sigh of relief she looked forward to not worrying so much about Terry playing outside. The victory was short-lived. He learned to scale that fence the first day.