Jaxson's Song (11 page)

For You

“
K
ate.”

“
Hey, Lil, what’s up? I just changed the lock on the front
door, and I even spiffed the place up a bit. It’s still pretty
dreary and dusty around here, though.”

Lilly heard her sister’s
voice, clear and bright—and mildly apologetic—through the line. She
pulled the phone from her ear and stared at the screen; the full
five bars were illuminated. Damn it. Just this once, why couldn’t
the cell service in Florida be spotty? You’d think with the
almost-daily rain showers and weekly storms, the cell towers would
have a hard time maintaining the status quo, but no such luck. So
far, call quality had been crystal clear during both of the awkward
phone calls she’d had to make. Well, at least her own sister
probably wouldn’t yell at her. Much.

“
Lilly?”

She started at the muffled
voice on the other end of the line and clapped the phone back to
her ear in time to hear her Kate ask, “So, when you coming
home?”

“
Uh…” This was it, the moment of truth. She tucked her legs
beneath her on the overstuffed floral-print sofa, turned her face
away from the concern in her cousin Alexandra’s eyes, gripped the
phone tight and, for a moment, clung to Kate’s voice like she would
have in the old days.

“
Lilly? Are you okay?”

No
. And right now, she didn’t
feel like she’d ever be okay again. She took a deep breath and
abruptly untucked her legs and scooted to the edge of the sofa.
“I’m fine.” She gulped another mouthful of humid, peaches-and-brown
sugar scented air and closed her eyes. “But I’m not coming
back.”

Silence. And then, “What
do you mean, you aren’t coming back? This is your home, too. I know
I haven’t exactly been positive about the place, but it’s not that
bad and—”

“
Stop it, Kate!” She was pacing now. “Just—stop it, okay? Quit
apologizing for everything.” Lilly’s eyes began to sting, and she
blinked hard against the moisture she knew lurked not far behind.
She heard her sister take a deep breath and she fought the urge to
lash out and tell her to quit calling Aunt Viola’s house “home,”
too. Home was back in Georgia. A rental house that, as of last
week, had become “home” to another family on a budget.

The first teardrop slid
from the corner of her eye and she brushed it away with shaking
fingers.

“
Okay…so, what’s going on? You know what? Don’t worry about
it. Are you still with Alexandra? I’m coming to get you, and we can
sort everything out in a few minutes. You’re just having cold feet.
I’ll be there in twenty, okay?” Kate prattled, a clear sign she was
nervous.

“
I—” Lilly broke off, swallowed and inhaled again, buoyed
somewhat by the sugary warmth of her cousin’s house. She had to
pull it together. Kate would never believe her like this. “No.
Don’t drive to Alexandra’s,” she said, relieved that she didn’t
sound near as shaky as she felt. “I’m not there anymore and, I’m
not coming…home, Kate.” Her voice was under control now and she
only stumbled a little bit over the word. “This morning,
I…”

“
You what…? What happened this morning?” Kate asked, the first
stirring of dread beginning to thread through her voice.

Just do it. Say it.
Blurt it out and be done with it
. “I
got married this morning.”

Lilly’s eyes strayed to
the suspiciously bare finger on her left hand. Inside, she cringed
as her sister’s ragged breathing filled her ear. God, she didn’t
want to hurt her. Kate was the absolute last person who deserved to
be wounded, but Lilly had been right; her fake
marriage
was the
only way her sister would willingly let go without a
fight.

“
What—what did you just say?” Kate gasped, picking up steam
and finding her voice along the way. “Are you telling me you got
MARRIED? This morning? Are you
serious
? Is that what you’re
telling me right now?” she demanded.

Lilly opened her mouth,
but Kate rushed on without giving her a chance to
respond.

“
You haven’t even been dating anyone. How? How could you do
this?” Kate sputtered. “Without even telling me?”

She stopped pacing and
stared helplessly at a wide-eyed Alexandra, who was quick to pick
up a large black-and-silver remote and switch off the television. A
shadow filled the doorway, paused, and backtracked to stare into
the living room. Lilly met her aunt Carrie’s curious gaze and
swallowed, gripped the phone a little tighter.

“
Didn’t you think I would want to be there?” Kate was saying
now. “How could you do this, Lilly?”

“
I’m…sorry,” she choked, a tear falling freely and splashing
onto her bare leg. She swiped shaking fingers over her thigh, and
the weight of her guilt threatened to crush her. “It just
happened.”

Kate was silent on the
other end of the line, and then: “Oh, my God—you’re pregnant,
aren’t you? Who did this to you? Who is he?” she demanded, zeroing
in on Lilly’s imaginary groom, not unlike a dog with a
bone.

“
No! I’m not pregnant. His name is Chad. We met in Georgia and
we’ve been seeing each other. I’m sorry I never told you, I
didn’t…I just…didn’t think you’d approve. That you would say I’m
too young.” She recited the explanation she’d been practicing ever
since crossing the Florida state line two days ago.

“
You
are
too damn young! What were you thinking?”

“
I—”

“
Where is he? Put this Chad on the phone,” she said, twisting
the name with the same inflection one might use for “bird flu” or
“genital warts.” There was real fire in Kate’s voice and she could
picture her sister crossing her arms over her chest, could
practically see her eyes narrowing.

“
He’s in the car, Kate. We only stopped so that I could call
you and tell you I’m okay. Everything’s okay.”

“
Okay? Okay??”

Right. Maybe that wasn’t
the best word for their current situation.

“
What do you mean you only stopped long enough to call me.
Where are you?” Kate asked, her voice faltering as the full
implications of Lilly’s statement hit her.

“
We’re headed north.”

“
Where?” Kate pressed.

“
Um, probably somewhere near Reno.”

“
Nevada!” Kate exploded. “What are you thinking?” she
repeated, sounding like she was on the verge of hyperventilating.
“You’re supposed to start classes in less than two
weeks.”

“
Well, yeah, but—”

“
So, okay, you’re m-married now. Okay, now what? What
about
your
plans?
You wanted to go to school. Since your sixteenth birthday, you’ve
been talking about becoming a nurse. What happened to those
plans?”

Lilly swallowed, and the
fingers of her free hand curled into a tight fist; her sister had
just managed to hit a major nerve. “I’m still going to go to
school—next semester.”

“
But—”

“
Kate, look…” She inhaled the sweet, fruit-laden air and felt
her stomach lurch in response now. “It’s done. Chad and I are in
love, and I wish you would support me in this.”

“
I will always back you up. Always. But you are making a
mistake,” Kate warned.

“
But it’s my mistake to make. Mine and…Chad’s.” She lowered
her eyes to her toes, unpainted and slightly dirty from kicking
around the trails behind Alexandra’s house. Worn sandals that had
started out as bright orange slapped the floor as she rose from the
couch and pushed against the front door. The screen banged shut
behind her.

“
What was that?”

“
What?” Her eyes went wide.

“
That noise.”

“
I didn’t hear anything,” she said, raising her voice a little
to be heard over the rain and the wind that was steadily picking
up.

“
Lilly, I wish…”

“
I’ve got to go, okay? Chad’s waiting. But, um, I thought that
maybe you could come with me.” Here was the important part of her
plan, the true prize she kept her eye on. She forced herself to
speak slowly, willing the words to not simply rush out in a
desperate torrent. “I mean, if you want to. I thought you could
sell the house and come to Reno with us. You could stay with
me—with us. If you want to.”

“
You want me to live with you and Chad?” Kate’s voice was
filled with disbelief.

“
We can rent a duplex or something. We’ll figure it out,
but…yeah. Yeah, I do.” Lilly swiped at her cheek.

“
Oh,” Kate breathed. “Well.” She paused for several long,
tense moments. “Okay.”

“
You’ll sell the house? We’ll start over, then?”

“
It looks like you’ve already started over,” she retorted,
then sighed. “Yes, I’ll put the house on the market. Are you sure
about…all of this?”

“
I’m sure.” Lilly’s voice held a conviction that was at once
bone deep and strangely terrifying. She’d never been more sure of
anything in her life, and yet nothing was certain. She felt like
she was kneeling on a raft and using a jagged blade to saw through
the rope that anchored her to the dock; behind her, the ocean
waited, big and vast and eerily silent. In the next instant, she’d
ripped through the final threads. “This is what I want,
Kate.”

“
I’ll call the realtor first thing in the morning. I’ll need
to give notice at the hospital, probably two weeks. At least,” she
muttered. “Will you be all right until then?”

“
Yes. I’ll call you when we get to Reno, and I’ll have an
address then. Probably just a hotel, but…”

“
Don’t worry, I’ll be out there by the end of the month, and
we’ll get a more permanent place. It’s going to be okay. We can fix
this.”

“
There’s nothing to fix,” she lied, her tone softer
now.

“
Uh-huh. Do you need anything right now? I mean…anything?”
Kate asked, her voice cracking a little at the end.

“
No. I have to go. I’ll text you tonight.”

“
Lilly—”

“
I love you,” she blurted, snapping the phone shut a moment
later.

The world continued to
spin; the rain still fell in ugly gray sheets. Her life was still a
hot mess. She blinked back the fresh wave of tears that threatened,
reminded herself this was only temporary. But would Kate ever
forgive her for this deception? For manipulating her like this? She
sighed. The time for reflection was about fifteen minutes
past.

“
Lilly?” Alexandra poked her head out from inside the
house.

She turned and glanced at
her cousin.

“
It’s raining.” The normally perky blonde was
uncharacteristically cautious as she eyed Lilly.

“
Yeah.” She tried for a smile. “I just got off the phone with
Kate,” she said, for lack of anything more profound to point out at
the moment.

“
Yeah…how did it go?”

She shrugged. “It went.
She’s selling the house and meeting me at the end of the
month.”

Alex’s riotous golden
curls bobbed. “Good, so the plan worked.”

Lilly nodded, moving
through the doorway when her cousin held the screen door open and
moved aside to let her pass.

Aunt Carrie was waiting
for them in the kitchen. “Does someone want to fill me in on what
just happened?” Her china-blue eyes filled with concern as she
pulled out a pair of glazed pine bar stools and motioned for both
girls to sit. She tucked a chunk of light brown hair behind Lilly’s
ear, her fingers grazing one of the beaded silver hoops in her
niece’s ear. “I can’t believe how you’ve changed. You and Alex are
all grown up now.” She slid mugs of cocoa and plates of warm peach
pie in front of the girls. “What’s wrong, Lilly Ann?” she finally
murmured, taking a seat at the opposite end of the white marble
kitchen island.

She met her cousin’s wide
blue gaze and sighed, focusing her own gray-green eyes on Aunt
Carrie. “You’ve talked to Kate since Aunt Viola passed
away?”

“
Only for a few minutes at the funeral, and once, about a week
before the two of you left Georgia. I know Viola left the house to
you girls.”

Lilly’s expression must
have betrayed something of her feelings, because her aunt peered
closely at her.

“
That was good news, right? From what Kate said, some of the
pressure was off, she was hoping to finally get on her feet and
save some money for the two of you. Is…that not the case?” Aunt
Carrie’s brow furrowed when Lilly looked away.